What I would like in a relationship.

• Someone to be on my side, a friend, to make me feel as if they are my ally not my enemy. Of course no two people are going to always agree, but even if they don’t agree they should respect the others beliefs and support them in their choices.
• To have mutually compatible moral and philosophical beliefs on many subjects, most importantly child rearing, sexuality, and lifestyle.
• Someone to find me physically attractive and desirable.
• To be physically attracted to, and desire the other person.
• Commitment, willingness to stick it out, keep trying, and pursue working things out.
• Monogamy, faithfulness.
• Mutually compatible dreams and long term goals.
• Open and honest communication, without blame, guilt, harassment and hate.
• Someone to accept and love who I really am. I know I’ve pretended to be someone I thought others would love… turns out that doesn’t work. I must be who I am, not what I believe others want me to be. Yet I want to be free to be me and still be loved by someone.

What I would like in life.

• Children, I always knew I wanted kids. A fundamental motivation has been the most basic primordial instinct to procreate. You can blame me for being an animal, or in fact a human… yet to blame someone for being human is kind of pointless…
• Respect, I’ve striven to be kind, dependable, successful, and talented, to do things as well as possible and perform in an outstanding way. To be thought of as a good person. I’ve never wanted to just slide by with the minimal effort, I always wanted to shine.
• Financial security. Not unlimited wealth, or power and authority over others, but independence from desperation and extreme need. Financial freedom to enjoy life.
• Freedom. To feel that the only restraints on me are of my own choice, not be manipulated and repressed, intimidated, or controlled by others.
• Happiness, peace, and balance. To have time to stop and smell the roses. To not work so hard you die without ever being happy or relaxed or experiencing life. To not just witness/read about others living life but to live it myself.
• Long term love, true love, to make someone happy, with out loosing myself.

Areas of greatest weakness, (things to work on first).

• Honesty. I feel I’ve not always been true to myself or others in my life. I’ve made one sided decisions based on what I thought was needed. Open communication is one of my biggest weaknesses. Being aware of my own feelings is hard for me.
• Self respect and self love. While desiring and achieving a substantial amount of respect from others, I’ve not focused on respecting myself. I’ve based my feelings of myself on how others feel about me. Thus I’m a reflection of others, perceptions of me rather than my own.
• Self awareness, knowing my self. The pieces are all there but I need to take some time and prioritize and assess myself in a very organized fashion to figure out where I stand, what I need to do and where I’m going with my life. I need to take control of my fate by knowing myself better.
• Communication. Being brave enough to truly communicate, say what I really mean, how I really feel without blaming. To listen to how someone else feels with out feeling blamed or bad. To be honest yet kind and understanding.
• To learn to love another truly. To embrace the innate grasp of female friendship, of the female insistence on relatedness, of the female tradition of support and accommodation for one's partner, and of giving precedence to the relationship overall. If my feminine side can give anything to my life worthwhile, it would be this. The ability of women to selflessly love is the one thing I most desire.