Ladies and gentlemen. It is obvious that I am one sexy cat, one hot tamale. If I were a man that was this sexy, I'd have a ding-dang that's longer than DiMarco's (yeah, you know what I'm talking about, Alicia!). Now, hey, I ain't braggin'.
Proof, however, that I'm really this sexy appears on this very page. Oh, sure, you're saying to yourself, how can she prove common knowledge? Kids are born knowing I'm hot, so I can see where you're coming from and all, but here I have visual evidence that men want to be naked and run free around me.
It was a lovely day in Lake Placid. And by lovely, I mean it was about negative, oh... 497231 degrees Fahrenheit. Lovely. I'm bumbling about looking fabulous, when I come upon an almost completely frozen river. Underneath the ice, I see tons of naked men holding signs with my name on it, and baskets filled with flowers, condoms, and pregnancy tests. I was flattered to say the least. Now you freakin' skeptics out there are all, "WTF, mate? ^^" thinking that I've lost it. Oh, no, I haven't lost anything... mentally... because below, I have a photograph of me holding onto one of the many pairs of boxers I found besides the river. Eat your heart out, ladies. Eat me out, boys. I mean... |
