Heaven Cannot Wait
by Matrim
Part 4: Kyo
Monday March 20, 7:08 am
"Don't you find it interesting when other animals eat?" Manami asked.
She lay on the kitchen floor, watching Puppy eat his food.
"Sometimes," Shinya said around an egg he just popped into his mouth. It
was silent except for Puppy's chewing.
"Did you talk to Die, yet?"
"Um--not really."
The angel narrowed her eyes, "I thought you did. I mean, you two were
kissing the other day. Every time I saw you! How can you not talk under
those circumstances?!"
Shinya turned away from her and blushed into his breakfast bowl. "You
can." He nibbled his lip nervously. How was he supposed to tell Die.
There was an unspoken question in Die's eyes and Shinya just wanted to blurt
out the answer but couldn't. Hi, yeah, he said glumly to an imaginary Die,
Please don't think I'm crazy, but my cousin's actually an angel and she said
that if I don't do what I'm supposed to do from these messages I get in the
mail,I'll die and yes, I know she looks human and no, I don't know where the
messages come from, and Toshiya played my angel for a week. I hope you
still love me. Shinya sighed. No way he was going to believe it? And what
if that wasn't the problem? If it is, Shinya thought, I'm afraid to ask
what really is wrong.
"You shouldn't."
"Shouldn't what?" Shinya asked, startled.
"Be afraid to ask him what's wrong."
"Did I say that out loud?"
"No."
Shinya lifted his head, "You can read my mind?"
"Erg," was Manami's answer. Shinya took that as a yes. "You don't mind,
do you? I only do it when I know when something's wrong with you? That's
how I keep track of you."
"No."
"But, Shinya, you really should tell Die about me."
"Are you sure it's okay?"
"You told Toshiya. It's safe to tell Die. Besides, he's hurt because
you told Toshiya and not him. He thinks that you don't love him as much as
you say." Manami played with her long red braid. "Actually, that's not his
exact words but that's what he felt."
"Why should he think that?" Shinya asked, hotly.
"Love does that to people."
"Well, I'll show him!" He said, determinedly. Their heads turned in the
direction of the door. Manami looked at Shinya with funny smile. "Yeah, I
know. I've got mail." He stood, went to the door, picked up the message
and read it as he came back to his seat. Then he reread it. "Manami?"
"Nani?"
"It says, 'By Friday, March 24, Manami must make Kyo of Dir en Grey cry,
or Shinya dies at 7:00 p.m.' What's this supposed to mean?"
Manami swore. Shinya's eyes widened. He was sure angels weren't
supposed to do that sort of thing. She flipped over onto her back, "I knew
this would happen." Shinya looked at her curiously. "I'm not supposed to
become attached to mortals." She explained.
"You're in love with him," Shinya said, bluntly.
"I am not," Manami replied, stubbornly. "He just a good drinking
partner."
"You're his human teddy bear," Shinya teased.
"Nani? Who said that?"
"Toshiya."
"The brat! If he wasn't so nice most of the time, I'd kick him."
Shinya sat, "Anyway, he got it wrong." Manami looked at him, "You're his
angelic teddy bear!" Manami grabbed one of Puppy's toys and threw it at his
head. He easily avoided it and smiled at her. "You mean I don't have to do
anything? I don't have a task?" Manami nodded, irritation painted across
her features. Shinya threw up his hands, "Yatta!! Time for Shinya to take
a break!"
"Hm. Now, you can use this free time to patch things up with Die. Isn't
that great?"
"Yeah, great." Then he began to lecture her, "Don't mess up on this one!
If you do, I die! And then where would you be?"
Manami rolled her eyes, "The last person I need this from is you. Shut
up and eat your breakfast."
*******
"I don't have to worry about you, do I?" Shinya asked, as they entered
the rehearsal space.
"No, Daddy, I'll be a good little girl," Manami returned, sarcastically.
"Angel or not, you don't strike me as a good little girl!" Said a voice
behind them. They froze until they realized it was Toshiya. The bassist
smiled at them and ignored Manami glaring daggers at him. "What's the
assignment?"
Shinya smiled, "I don't have one! She does!"
"You don't have to look so happy about it!" Manami retorted.
"So, what is it?"
Shinya took a look around to make sure no one was going to overhear this
conversation and repeated, word for word the task, "'By Friday, March 24,
Manami must make Kyo of Dir en Grey cry, or Shinya dies at 7:00 p.m.'"
Toshiya made a sound in the back of his throat, "This keeps getting
harder and harder, doesn't it?"
Shinya looked at him, speechless. What did he mean? Manami only nodded,
"Yah, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,ne, Shin-chan?"
"What's so hard about making Kyo cry?"
"Does he look like someone who cries easily to you?" Toshiya asked.
"Does he look like someone who cries at all?" Manami asked.
"What other emotion does he show other than--hungry, angry, sleepy, drunk
and singing?" Toshiya asked, "Do you know any?"
Shinya snorted, "He has other emotions!! He writes the songs! You
should have emotion when you write! How can he not have any emotions?"
"How can who not have any emotions?" Kaoru asked, as he, Kyo and Die
entered the room. Toshiya, Shinya and Manami stared at them and then at
each other, then began to talk again.
"How do you suppose I make him cry?"
"How am I supposed to know--it's your damn task!"
"It's your life."
"Yours, too!"
"Arguing about it isn't going to do anything other than get Shinya get
killed," Toshiya interfered. "Figure out another emotion he feels and then
play around with it, then maybe he'll cry."
"I wish there was another emotion he felt," Manami said, absently and
hugged herself.
The two musicians stared at her sympathetically and it went silent until
Kaoru spoke up, "What are you guys talking about?"
"What is this talk about Shinya dying?" asked Die.
"Who's not showing any emotions?" Kyo asked.
"Nothing." The three said, blushing.
*******
Tuesday 2:15 a.m.
"Shinya," Die whispered into his koi's ear. He stroked Shinya's cropped
hair gently. They lay on Shinya's bed. The drummer was sleeping on his
stomach and Die was next to him, also on his stomach, leaning over to speak
softly to him.
"Nn?"
"What did you tell Toshiya the other day?"
"Nnn. Sleep."
Die resisted the urge to pull the younger man's hair and scream but bent
closer to his ear. "No, wake up. Tell me. What did you tell Toshiya the
other day?"
"Somethin' 'mportant."
"Will you tell me?"
"Later. When...I can find...if you...if you believe me."
"Why won't you tell me now?" Die asked, a little frustrated.
"'Cause I love...you too much...to mess up...your life...with my own."
Shinya drifted off to sleep and Die stared at him. This was the most he got
out of the drummer for the past few days. Kaoru had told him that if he
wanted to speak to Shinya without feeling embarrassed, he should do it while
he was mostly asleep. It always worked, he explained, because the person
sleeping would always listen and always understand. He must've been crazy,
Die thought. He stared down at Shinya. He didn't know whether to smile,
snarl or cry. He settled with a frustrated sigh and turned over, facing
away from Shinya. "S'cold, Die," he murmured in his sleep. "Hold me. .
..Koibito?" Shinya snuggled up to Die's side and the guitarist didn't have
the heart to pull away. An arm snaked around to embrace Die's waist.
"s'better."
Die closed his eyes and ignored the tears slipping from his eyes. "You
don't understand. I want you to share your life with me. And I don't care
if it's screwed up. I will still love you!" He whispered, fiercely into
the dark. Shinya's arm tightened around his waist in response and Die
wondered if Kaoru was right after all.
*******
Tuesday, 10:00 am
"So, how's the love life?" Shinya asked.
"What love life?" Manami snapped.
Shinya backed away, "You don't have to be so touchy! How's everything
going?" Manami eyed Kyo, who was smoking out on the balcony. Shinya looked
in the same direction as well.
"He's impossible. He either gets mad or he teases back. Or laughs. And
besides, I don't like making guys cry." Manami seemed to think for a
second. "Well, 'cept for that one time. . .Anyways, he did give me this
ring. It's a little too big, though." She showed him a silver ring with a
carving of scorpion of it.
"Yeah, that's Kyo's touch alright."
Kyo noticed their gazes and he waved. Manami waved back then ignored
him. Shinya gave him a slight smile.
"And what about you and your koi?"
"He was crying last night."
"Do you know what about?"
Shinya shook his head slowly, "He woke me up in the middle of the night
and he was saying something to me. I couldn't quite catch it. It was very
important. But instead of waking up in his arms, I'm the one holding him.
It was odd."
"So, you didn't tell him?"
"That depends if he asked me last night. I'm still kind of confused. I
remember saying something important." Shinya thought for a minute. "I'll
ask him."
"Ask me what?" Die asked, materializing behind the drummer.
"What were you saying to me last night?" Shinya asked, bravely.
Die looked away, "Oh, nothing. It was just a silly dream. Don't worry
about it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"You two. Practice is starting again." Kaoru ordered and Shinya wanted
to strangle him. Instead, he sent him glare which he didn't see and walked
back to his drumset. Die's lying, he thought. And I'm going to get to the
bottom of it.
********
Wednesday 3:34 am
Die lay on his back on Shinya's bed and stared at the darkened ceiling.
He turned to look at his lover, who was peacefully asleep on his stomach
beside him. His hair fell neatly across his eyes and his mouth was opened
slightly. Maybe Kaoru was right. Shinya had heard him last night. He
could try again. It wouldn't hurt.
"Shinya?"
"Nn?"
"Are you ready to tell me now?"
Suddenly, Shinya rose up on his elbow and turned to face Die fully. His
eyes were alert and serious as he asked, "Promise you won't think I'm
crazy?"
"You were awake all this time?" Die asked, incredulously.
"Mostly. I was waiting for you to say something. Toshiya told me about
how Kaoru talks to him when he thinks that he's asleep. Kaoru does it after
a fight or whenever he thinks that there's something wrong. He figured that
Kaoru would tell you to do something like this. Besides, I can't sleep
peacefully when I know there's something wrong with you." Shinya sighed,
"So, do you promise that you think I'm crazy?"
Die stared off into the darkness away from Shinya's dark eyes and then
eventually looked back, "What makes you think that I'd think you're crazy?
And how do you know what I want to ask you?"
"Because Manami told me. And because Toshiya told me. And because I
have to tell you." Shinya took one of Die's locks of hair and began playing
with it. "You think that I don't love you as much as I say because I told
Toshiya something important and not you. You think that because I did that,
you're not important to me." He stopped playing with the hair and looked
Die straight in the eyes, "That's not true." He began playing with it
again. "Here's the truth."
Die bit his lip. Here it comes. . .
"Manami's not my cousin. She's my guardian angel. She told me that I
have to fix my life by performing certain tasks by a certain day, usually
Friday by an appointed time or I will die. I get these tasks in the mail,
usually on a Monday in the morning. Last week, you were over. And I
couldn't explain to you what was going because I didn't know how. I told
Toshiya because I needed to talk to someone and Manami was angry at me that
week. He became my guardian angel for the week. That's why we spent a lot
of time together." Shinya stopped playing with his hair. "Do you believe
me?"
"Since you sound genuinely serious, I'm going to be supportive here."
Die said slowly.
"That's what Toshiya said."
"That was a pretty big secret you kept from me, but it explains why you
get into these almost accidents." Shinya inched closer and laid his head
against Die's chest. "What's wrong?"
"Gomenasai, koibito," came the muffled answer.
"Daijyobu ne, Shin-chan? I only wish you told me earlier." He was quiet
and raised Shinya's head with his hands. "But what's this week's task?"
"Oh. Manami has to make Kyo cry or I die on Friday at 7 in the evening."
"Crap."
********
Friday, 7:00 am
Toshiya nibbled his fingernail nervously. He sat on Shinya's couch and
stared at Manami, who sat with her knees drawn up to her chest. He had
slipped out of the house earlier to see if he could do anything. He was
worried about this task just as much as Shinya. And he wasn't the only one.
Die sat at the table and stared at her, too.
"Do you like him?" Toshiya asked.
Manami looked bit her lip and stared at the floor. "I--guess."
"What do you mean 'I guess'?" Die asked, bluntly. "Why else would you
be getting this task?"
"Why are you getting this task?" Shinya asked. "You're attached to me
and no one said anything about making me cry."
Manami bent her head down so no one could see her face, "I'm not supposed
to fall in love with anyone, because after Shinya performs all his tasks,
and Kyo feels the same way, it wouldn't do because then I'd have to leave
and I'd never see him again. It's a lose-lose situation but I got myself
into it and now, I must get myself out of it." Manami raised her head, "But
I can't seem to get him to cry. He won't. I told you before. He's an
impossible bastard! If he loved me, maybe making him cry would be easier or
a bit harder, but he isn't. I'm just his human teddy bear."
Toshiya blushed remembering what he had said last week. "Just keep
trying, Manami. It'll get better."
She looked up at Toshiya, Die and then at Shinya. Her eyes lingered a
little longer on the two lovers. "I hope so."
********
6:00 pm (because I know you're getting a bit antsy to hear the end)
A knock came at Shinya's door. He opened it to see a tear-streaked
Manami. "Gomenasai, Shin-chan. I can't do it," she said, squeakily, and
burst into tears. Shinya gave her a hug and let her cry on his shoulder.
"It's okay, Manami." He had been crying for most of the day, too. He
knew it. He knew that it would end like this. It was okay, though. He had
entered the sad state of acceptance long ago. "I forgive you. You've been
a good angel to me so far."
She looked up at him, "Are you sure? You're not mad? I thought you
didn't like me! You called me a bitch and a fake angel and all that. Now, I
really am all that."
"No, you're not. You've been a very good angel. You taught Toshiya to
become one for a week without me knowing, you spied on Die to tell me how he
was feeling, you made sure Puppy was taken care of, you didn't give up on me
when you should have, and you taught me some very valuable lessons before I
die. It's not your fault Kyo's a little devil." He soothed. (Matrim
wonders: Hey, why is everyone being so harsh on Kyo? He doesn't know what
the hell's going on. At least...no one thinks so.) "Since this is our last
hour of existence, why don't we at least have fun? Let's go out."
"Okay," she sniffed and Shinya grabbed his coat.
********
They walked in silence across the city and Shinya noticed that the sky
was dark with clouds. It seemed to reflect their mood. He looked at his
watch and noticed Manami do the same. It was 6:45. "Shin-chan, shouldn't
you at least say goodbye to Toshiya, Kaoru and Die? They'll really
appreciate it. It'll make them feel less guilty."
Shinya didn't answer and stopped on the bridge. He leaned against the
railing and looked across the city. "I think it's better this way," he said
after a while. Manami joined him.
"Dooshite?"
"Because if I see Die again, I'll never stop crying." Shinya said,
softly. "I should tell Toshiya goodbye. And Kaoru. And Kyo. But not
Die." He straightened, "Yeah, that's a good idea. I have to find them. I
want to thank Toshiya for being nice to me and Kyo for giving me a job and
Kaoru for not teasing me too much and giving me tips when we play billiards.
And I'd like to thank Die but I don't think I can handle that."
"What would you tell him?"
Shinya's eyes watered and his mouth curved in a gentle smile, "I'd like
to thank him for loving an iceberg like myself." He took out his phone.
"I'll meet them in the park."
Manami took a deep breath and looked at her watch. "I can still try,
Shinya. We do have ten minutes left."
"And what can you do in ten minutes?" Shinya asked, strangely amused.
Manami gave him a determined look. "We've done a lot in ten minutes. In
fact, we've done a lot in ten seconds. Or has the last two weeks escaped you
entirely? I'll go find Kyo, I think I know what bar he's in. You can damn
well relax."
"How am I supposed to relax?" Shinya demanded, but got no answer.
Manami ran off.
*******
Three of his band members stood in front of him. Kaoru stood a little
apart from the rest. He looked confused. Toshiya stood five feet away,
hands together as if he were praying, staring at him with tears in his eyes.
Die stared at him as if he had just said that he had a threesome with
Toshiya and Kaoru and didn't feel at all guilty. His hands were clenched
into fists at his side. Shinya didn't want Die here but Toshiya had told
him. I thought I told Manami to remind me that whenever something happens
to me not to call Toshiya and Kaoru? He sighed, But this is important so. .
..
"I've come to say goodbye."
"Goodbye?" Kaoru asked.
"Shin-chan, stop it. I don't want hear any more," Toshiya said, through
tears.
"No, let him." Die sneered, "He'd rather die."
Shinya clenched his fist, "You're not making this easy for me!"
"I hope I'm not! God, Shinya, do you think I'd take this easily? What
the hell do you think I am?" Die shook his head furiously, "You can't just
give up!"
"It's not my fault! We tried everything!"
Kaoru stared at all of them as if they had gone insane.
"So, you're just going to die?! Like that? I don't believe you!"
"Yamete!!" Toshiya yelled, closed his eyes and put his hands over his
ears, "I don't want to hear any more! I don't! Shinya, shut up! Say this
is a cruel joke that you learned from someone else or that you want to get
in a fight with Die but don't tell me that you actually want to give up and
die!!" He opened his eyes, tears streaming from them, "I thought you knew
the meaning and value of life! Why are you giving up so easily!?"
"I'm not!"
At the same time, Manami dragged a drunk Kyo across the park not more
than 30-50 feet away from them. "Manami, what are you talking about? You
can't leave me!" He slurred.
"I have to." She looked at her watch, "I've got five minutes left."
Kyo stood up tall and shook off her hands. "You can't leave me."
Manami stared at him like he grew another head. "Are you really drunk?"
He glared at her, "I was never drunk." Up above a rumble of thunder was
heard. They both looked up and he went on, "I heard every word you said."
"Do you do this all the time?"
"No. Only now. I wanted to know what was wrong with you." He crossed
his arms but the glare never left his face. "You can't leave me. I'm in
love with you. Why else would I give you that ring?"
Manami stared at him in shock. This wasn't supposed to happen, was it?
She began to fear for her life and she was sure it wasn't the task that was
going to kill her. She feared it might be Kyo.
"Is that it then?" Die asked.
Toshiya had stopped talking. He sat crying and refusing to meet Shinya's
gaze.Shinya looked down at his watch. He had 2 minutes and this wasn't
going like he wanted it to.
"I wanted to thank you for--"
"I'm tired of this shit, Shinya."
"Why won't you let me finish what I'm about to say?"
"Because I don't believe you! I don't believe a word you say!" Die
snapped, "What am I? I thought that you loved me enough to live for me!!
Have I become just your fuck toy again?!!"
Shinya gave him the same look that Manami just gave Kyo. It began to
rain just as the tears fell from his eyes, "How dare you think that?!" He
demanded. Die sneered at him, "How dare you think that you're just my
little fuck toy?!! I can't believe you think that!!! Do you think I would
tell some--whore--that I loved them?"
"If they were good enough!" Die screamed back.
"You are so full of crap!"
---at the same time---
"Do you think that you can just waltz in, turn my life upside down and
leave it just like that?" Kyo asked, quietly. It began to rain hard. He
looked up at her again, "I won't let you."
"I can't do this."
"That's what I thought but you showed up and I fixed my life so I could."
"But if I do--I die."
"Isn't that a risk you must take?" Kyo asked. His tone was definitely
different. "I've seen those scars on your arms. You even slit them the
right way and you're here standing in front of me. This has to mean
something, right? I'm not suggesting that you're the one for me but. . ."
he let the sentence trail off. Manami took a step back. "I'm not letting
you leave. Manami-san--aishiteru." He said without changing his tone. The
confidence in his eyes made her shiver.
"Demo--" She had one minute.
"I won't let you leave. You can't leave. I won't allow it!" He yelled
at her suddenly and grabbed her by the wrists.
She yelped in pain, "Itai! Kyo, let me go!"
"Promise me, you'll stay!"
"Nani o suru!" She whimpered. For a small guy, he was pretty strong.
"Manami! Promise!" He embraced her roughly and kissed her deeply on the
mouth. Her eyes closed. This was the reason that she had--no. He ended it
and looked at her with those eyes.
"Kyo. . .I feel the same way but--I can't promise you--" Manami stopped
and noticed that it wasn't the rain that sent eyeliner running down Kyo's
cheeks this time. It was--tears?
"Then I think you should go. . ." was what he said and two more tears ran
down his cheeks. "Abaruzeon'na!!"
"Stop confusing me!!" She yelled and backhanded him with her right hand.
The scorpion ring flew off her hand just as a loud crash of thunder made
hearing anything else impossible and lightning shot down from the sky.
He had no time! "Die!!" He screamed, tears streaming down his face.
The guitarist stared at him with hurt and hatred, love and loss.
"NANI?!" He asked, pissed beyond reasoning.
Shinya could feel the lightning coming, "AISHITERU!!!!"
"Nani?!!" The thunder clap had drowned his words out!! Die couldn't
hear Shinya and Shinya couldn't hear him! They both stared at each other as
he fell to his knees and the lightning bolt came down to strike--
Just as the scorpion ring flew over Shinya's head and intercepted the
bolt. (Matrim notes: Jesus Christ! That must've been some slap!) Shinya
felt a slight jolt and fell over in a faint.
"SHINYA!!" Toshiya and Die screamed and scrambled over to the fallen
drummer. Die took him in his arms and Toshiya grabbed one of Shinya's
hands. Kaoru finally took an interest in what was going on and made it to
his side as well.
"This is it," he murmured, "I'm dead. I'm gone! What happens now?"
"Shinya!" The two said with relief, "You're not dead!!!" Kaoru stared
at the whole scene uncertainly.
Shinya opened his eyes and stared at his two friends. Then at his body.
He stood and saw the small figure of Manami, sitting dejectedly on the
ground in the rain. He sprang up and ran to the angel, with his friends at
his heels. He reached her side and cheered. "Oh! It's my turn to say it!
CUT!!" He stared at his watch, "I don't quite know how much time we had
left but--good job, Manami!!" She looked up at him with a sad smile.
"Oh, good." The three band members looked at each other and Shinya gave
the angel a hug. Toshiya joined in and Die looked over them like he was the
guardian angel. There was another crack of thunder but this time, a
lightning bolt plummeted down and hit the ground in front of them. "Gyah!!"
There was a message, slightly burnt, point stuck into the ground. The
ground around it was dry and very hot just as the rain stopped. Shinya
reached out, shakily, and took the message, juggling it from one hand to the
other. Then he managed to read it. "'Since Manami cheated, another task is
added.'" He made a fearful noise in the back of his throat. "Ne, Manami,
what is this?"
"God is pissed off!" She said in the same tone of voice.
Die, Toshiya, Manami, and Shinya moaned as if they had seen the last of
their days.
Kaoru raised his hand and they all stared at him. "Could someone please
tell me what's going on?"
End of part 4
email Matrim
to Part 5