GLITTER GULCH

Chapter 16: Illumination

Lazily, the afternoon wore into evening. Rowan and Ryo had put Sage in the room with White Blaze. Both of the invalids were sleeping soundly. Leaving Mia and Ulee with a friend in town, Rosemary eventually came back to the farm and helped with the afternoon chores. They worked against Mother Nature to beat the storm clouds rolling in. For now, they were all holed up in the farmhouse eating dinner.

Ryo watched as the sky darkened with more than just the nightfall. Menacing black clouds obscured the sky, and heavy drops of rain began to fall. The Indian sighed and pecked at his food. Even though Cye was a wonderful cook, Ryo wasn't hungry. The food tasted bland on his tongue. At first he'd been worried that he would upset the Brit with his failure to clean his plate, but Cye had been far more interested in snatching furtive glances of Kento. Ryo wasn't sure what had happened between the two of them this afternoon, but they sure were watching each other closely. He pushed another piece of food around on his plate in envy.

"What's the mattah, Ryo?"

"Huh?" Ryo looked up into Rowan's midnight blue eyes. "Oh, I'm not really all that hungry."

"Could I get you something else, Ryo? I could make some mashed potatoes if you'd like…"

"No, thanks though, Cye. Really. I'm just not hungry." His stomach growled a low protest. He stood up and pushed away from the table. "Um…I think I heard White Blaze. I'm gonna go check on him." Leaving one amused and three confused expressions, he scurried out of the room.

Ryo stood with his back to the door. He really hoped that the others didn't mind him leaving the dinner table like that. The white tiger looked up at him inquisitively. "Hey there, boy. Are you feeling any better?" Ryo had checked the big cat over when he'd gotten home this afternoon, but routinely checked him again. The bandages Mia and Rosemary had put on the big cat were still taut, and it looked like the long gashes in his side would heal nicely. White Blaze seemed fine and even accepted a light scratching under his chin. "Good boy, White Blaze. You be sure and watch over Sage for me now, won't you?"

At the mention of the cowboy's name, both man and tiger glanced at the sleeping figure on the bed. Quietly, Ryo crossed the room, sat on the edge of the bed, and gazed longingly at Sage's prone form. "Why did you have to be so perfect, Sage? Why couldn't you have been horribly disfigured or something? Why did you have to be so…beautiful?" Ryo whispered as he lightly brushed some of the hair from the blonde's face, wanting to see his eyes - both of them. They were closed now, but Ryo could envision the brilliance of violet eyes and the promise they held within. The Sheriff's harsh words flooded Ryo's mind. He had called Sage a freak because of the purple irises, but Ryo believed that if Sage were a freak it was only because he was the only perfect being in the world. Those violet eyes were hypnotic in nature, capturing him with merely a glance. He truly believed he could sit for days and do nothing but gaze into their depths and be lost in their magnificence.

Sage's body shivered, and Ryo quickly pulled back his hand. The temperature in the room was dropping rapidly; the nightfall and rainstorm blending together to create a chilly offspring. Ryo looked around the room for an extra blanket but didn't see one. He stood up and started to go ask for one, when the cowboy's raspy voice stopped him.

"Ryo?"

He twirled on his heel and promptly sat back down on the bed. "I'm here, Sage. I'm right here."

Sage's hand fished its way out of the blankets and clasped Ryo's. "I'm cold."

"Yeah, I know. I was just going to get you a blanket…"

"Lie with me, Ryo. Keep me warm."

Ryo's heart stopped. "Huh?" Glassy violet eyes stared up at him. He's still drunk…

"Please?" The blonde tugged on the hand he held in his and cradled it against his chest.

Ryo melted. "S…s…sure. Okay." He moved to lie down next to Sage, but the cowboy stopped him.

"Take off your shirt."

"Wha…what?"

"It'll be warmer that way."

"Uh, okay…" Blushing, Ryo quickly did as he was told. He pulled off his boots, too, just for good measure, and slid in between the cool sheets. Sage immediately embraced him and nestled his head on Ryo's chest. Sage's body was pretty chilly, and Ryo knew just what to do. He called the fire. Not much, but enough to keep the cowboy warm. It wasn't long before Sage was sound asleep again, his breathing slow and even.

"Well, I guess I'm not going anywhere for a while. I'll just lay here until he's warmed up. Then I'll get up, and he won't know the difference. Right?"

The tiger snorted and lay his head back down on his giant paws.

"This is stupid, Dais."

"It is not. It will be quite fine. You'll see."

Cale rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. "Why even have the dumb thing in the first place? Why not kill them all and just be done with it?"

"There's no point in doing it that way. Besides, we need to have a little fun first. Don't you think?" Dais lightly traced the contours of the Sheriff's chest.

The dark-haired man bit his lip. "I don't see the point in…"

"Am I missing something?" Sekhmet strolled into the living room and Cale involuntarily jumped back.

Dais glanced at his lover and frowned. "Cale and I were discussing the dinner party that I'm throwing Tuesday evening. You are going to be able to attend, are you not?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, I am." The green-haired mayor shot a glance at the Sheriff and grinned. "Do you mind too terribly if I invite a guest or two of my own?"

"No, of course not. Invite whomever you please. However, do be kind enough to let me know how many will be attending, won't you?"

"Of course, my dear Judge. Of course."

Sage was drowning in a warm sea of comfort. He gave in to the gentle tide that was pulling him to the shore. He managed to break the surface of water and gasped as air filled his lungs. Waiting for him on the beach was Ryo, beads of seawater leaving trails of salt on his warm, tanned muscles as his hand beckoned to him - calling him to a virtual paradise. The glorious sight of the one person he cared for more than all others directed his actions with a fierce determination and urgency. The cushion of water surrounding him propelled him forward toward his destination, helping lengthen his swimming strokes to quickly close the gap. He struggled to break free of the water's grasp and clamber onto the beach, Ryo's hand pulling him to his feet and into a warm embrace.

Their lips met in a passionate kiss that left both breathless, their hearts beating in tune to a sensual melody of lovers throughout time. Sage wanted nothing more than to hold this perfect moment - to stop time so he could hold his Indian brave in his arms forever. His pale body entwined with Ryo's dark limbs, golden hair meshing with an ebon mane. Their bodies pressed so firmly together it was hard to discern where one ended and the other began.

He could feel the sinuous tendrils of heat from Ryo's body beginning to meld with the honeyed light that surrounded his own heart. The invasion was not unwelcome. The warmth was embraced and allowed to continue its path, unheeded. It connected and overwhelmed Sage with its beauty and fervor. It was pure and untainted. It spoke one word - Benevolence.

Sage gasped, and his soul was lost. No longer was he alone. Ryo - Benevolence - had found him. He caught glimpses of other streams of varying colors connected, some stronger than others, to the warmth and light. Each had its own voice: Intellect, Trust, Justice, Loyalty, Piety, Endurance, and Obedience.

The fire tugged at him, bringing his attention back to the body pressed against him. He groaned in response to the hands exploring his body, alternately warming him and sending shivers down his spine. The hands continued coaxing sounds from his throat as lips and tongue traveled from his mouth to his chest and lower. The warm hands gently pushed him down onto the ground, the sand giving a little under his weight.

Sage awoke to a gentle nudging on his chest. He opened his eyes slowly, allowing them time to adjust. The throbbing pain in his head slowed his movements considerably, and his body ached all over. He listened to the gentle tapping of rain on the window, drumming a lullaby. He was slightly annoyed at the interruption of his wet dream. He wanted to slip back into that perfect carefree world. It was pleasant there; he could stay there forever. But the persistent pressure was difficult to ignore. Although the air in the room was a little chilly, his body was on fire - the warmth emanating from the weight pressing upon his chest.

When his red-rimmed eyes finally opened he looked down. Sprawled across his bare chest was Ryo Wildfire, his black hair covering Sage like a blanket. He could feel Ryo's warm breath on his cool skin. Oh god, Ryo. What do you want from me? The throbbing in Sage's head intensified, and he began to feel the pulsing through his entire body. A connection to the sleeping man. A friendship forged through war and hardship. He wanted so much to caress the ebon hair and kiss the pale lips, but…he didn't deserve Ryo Wildfire. He was a failure.

Sage's eyes were riveted to the sleeping Indian. He's so beautiful… Sage felt a tightening in his chest, like someone was trying to squeeze his heart into nothing. Tears fell down flushed cheeks, unheeded. The cowboy's eye was caught by something on the dresser that radiated blazing white light. His saber. The sword of his father. He closed his eyes to avoid the glare.

"Father. What do I do now? You always told me that I could never live up to your standards, and you were right." He squeezed his eyes tighter shut. "What is wrong with me? Why can't I do anything right?"

His heart pounded in his chest. Surely Ryo would awaken to the loud, thunderous roar of his aching heart. He had to get up. He had to make things right. He had a monster to catch. A monster to destroy for Ryo's sake. He bit his lip and forced his heart to cease its furious pounding. "I'll make it up to you. I swear it, Ryo. Somehow, I'll make all this right." Sage edged out from underneath the sleeping man and crept out of the room, careful not to disturb the tiger or the Indian.

"Well, hello there, sleeping beauty," Rowan said as Sage exited Ryo's room. The blonde grunted and slipped into the room that he and Rowan shared.

"So, did you two get a good 'nap'?" Rowan teased from the doorway.

Sage ignored him. "Where's my money?"

"What? Are ya wanting ta count it now? I left it over on the dresser." Sage spied the bag of coins and snatched it from the dresser. He also swiped some of his clothing and his writing materials, stuffing them into the saddlebags that were thrown over the back of a chair. Rowan stopped him with a hand on his chest. "Hey, aren't ya going ta tell me what happened in there?"

Sage blinked at him.

"With you and Ryo!"

Sage snorted. The pain in his head intensified again. He groaned and tried to push past his blue-haired friend.

"What's up, Sage? What's going on?"

The blonde stared at the hand on his chest. "Don't you have better things to do, than to harass me, Rowan? Isn't there a certain red-headed bartending whore you want to fuck down at Kayura's?"

"Excuse me?" Rowan's eyes narrowed.

"So how much has he been charging you? Hmm? Or have you already used up your portion and are just waiting for your chance to get a hold of mine and Ryo's?" Why was Rowan bothering him now? Why didn't he just leave him alone? Drop it, Rowan. Drop the issue. Let it go.

"What the hell are ya talking about, Sage?" Rowan's voice was edgy, and he stepped back from the swordsman.

"You know what I mean, Rowan. That bartender. You know what he is." Sage glared at his friend. He was in no mood to deal with Rowan's teasing. If this was the only topic that would make Rowan shut up, then he was going for the jugular.

"Are ya telling me that Anubis is a whore? Where did ya get that idea?"

"Lady Kayura. She offered him to me when Mayor Sekhmet was done with him."

Rowan laughed out loud. "You're kidding, right? Ya just wanna get back to Ryo with your little playtoy, right?" He gestured toward the bag of coins.

"He's a prostitute, Rowan. You're fucking a prostitute. Or were you too blinded by love to notice?" The blonde's lips were curled back into a snarl.

"Why you dirty son of a bitch!" Rowan hauled off and hit Sage square in the jaw. The cowboy stumbled backward and hit the wall. "How dare you! How dare you say that! You…you're just jealous! He woulda told me if he wanted money…if he were a…a…"

Sage staggered a little as he checked to make sure his jaw still functioned and wiped a small amount of blood from his lip. "Whore, Rowan. He's a money-hungry whore who's fucking you for money."

"You son-of-a-bitch!" The Yankee leapt at Sage and grabbed him by the shoulders. "You…you're just jealous because I didn't fuck you the other night, aren't you?"

Once again Sage ignored him. "You really should get to know the people you decide to dally with, Rowan. You should find out first if they have ulterior motives. You're not using your head."

"So, you're telling me who I can sleep with now? Is that it?"

"No. I think you should be more careful, is all."

Enraged, Rowan shook Sage. "What about Kento? Would that be all right with you?" He glared at the blonde. "Or how about Ryo? What if I decided to fuck Ryo?" Sage’s eyes flashed briefly as he quickly regained his composure.

"That would be different."

"Different?! How so?"

"They wouldn’t be doing it for the money."

Rowan’s hands clenched into fists. "How dare you! What? You don’t think I’m good enough for him to love me for me? Is your opinion of me so low that you don’t think I could find someone who cared about me as much as I care about him? Or that I could find someone with balls enough to tell me how he feels?!" The Yankee’s face was bright red and his body stiff.

Sage’s jaw was rigid. Rowan's words had hurt far more than the punch he'd thrown. "I’m not going to discuss this with you until you calm down." He turned to leave.

"Calm down?" The blue-haired man grabbed his arm, his fingers digging into the muscle.

The blonde glared at Rowan’s hand and then his gaze shifted to midnight blue eyes. "Let go." The calm manner in which he stated it caused Rowan to let go and even back up a little – tears welling in his eyes. The Yankee stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Sage leaned against the door and sighed. Why am I acting like this? Why is this bothering me so much? Rowan can take care of himself. What do I care? He closed his eyes. Because he’s my friend. That’s why. And I…I…don’t want him to get hurt. A single tear ran down his cheek and he brushed it away with the back of his hand – burying the true answer deep inside of him as he continued to pack his things.

"What’s going on, Ro? What were you two arguing about?"

"It's none of your business! If I want ta fuck a whore that's my own goddamned business so fuck off!" Rowan stormed into a room and slammed the door.

"But…that's our room, Kento," Cye commented.

The mountain man sighed and stood up, leaving the Brit sitting on the couch. "I'll go check it out. Be right back." He kissed Cye on the forehead before heading off to their room.

The schoolteacher watched the door to Sage and Rowan's room open again and out stomped Sage. He was carrying a bedroll, duffel bag, and saddlebags. He left through the front door without a word.

"But…but it's raining out…" Cye whimpered. I need to get Ryo. He'll know what to do.

The schoolteacher ran to the Indian's room and threw open the door. "Ryo! Quick! Get up! I think Sage is leaving!"

The dark-haired man blinked at him. "What?"

"Sage just left! He had a whole bunch of bags packed! You've got to come quick!"

Ryo sprang from the bed and rushed past Cye. Heedless to the rapidly growing storm, he ran out the front door. "Sage!" Standing on the porch, he could barely make out the cowboy's form in the falling torrent of rain. "SAGE!" The figure stopped moving, dropped the bags into the mud, and slowly turned around. Rain ran down the brim of his hat. He refused to raise his head.

"I can't…I can't do this, Ryo." Lightning flashed, illuminating Sage for a brief second before the thunder growled. "I can't stand to be so near to you and…and not be able to touch you. I can smell you on me. It won't wash off…and I don’t want it to. I hear your voice, and I melt. Your smile and the sparkle in your ice blue eyes makes me weaker than I already am." The cowboy lifted his head and for a lightning split second, Ryo saw violet. "I feel so guilty about what happened that night. I should have stopped you. I should have said no. I should have…but I didn't. I don’t regret it, Ryo. I would do it all over again if I could. I would be with you every minute of every day, touching you…loving you…But I can't." Sage lowered his head again. "I'm not worthy of you, Ryo. I've failed you as a friend. I can understand if you hate me. I should have stopped it. I took advantage of your condition that night, and I shouldn't have. I was wrong, Ryo. I'm sorry." Sage turned toward the barn. "I'm going to see if I can find this thing. That thing that hurt you. I'm going to kill it. Then, I'm going to…" The cowboy's shoulders slumped. "Well, I don't know what I'm going to do after that. I just know I can't stay. I'll only hurt you even more. I'm a failure, and I have to protect you…from myself. I love you, Ryo. God help me, but I do."

The cowboy picked up his bags again and walked away without looking back.

Ryo was stunned. Sage didn't hate him; Sage loved him. Why did Sage think he was the one who had failed? I'm the one who should have stopped it…I'm the one who took the advantage. The Indian blinked back tears. All this time, they were both feeling guilty. They had wasted all that time…

"You know, if you don't go after him, I will."

"Huh?" Rosemary stood on the porch next to him. He hadn't even heard her come outside.

"If you don't go after him and stop him from leaving, I will…and I don't even like men."

Ryo paused weighing all that Sage had said. The hurt and pain he'd been feeling had been shared. Now was his chance. He could make everything right. He looked up at Rosemary, gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and ran out into the rain.

Sage absently patted Ryo's horse, Ember, before leading his mare out of her stall. Lady Luck was a little reluctant to follow the cowboy. He tugged on the reins, and she slowly complied allowing her master to outfit her for a trip.

He cinched the saddle on his horse and swallowed the lump in his throat. It's for the best. You're doing this for him. But deep inside, he knew he was running away. Running away from the pain and torment of seeing Ryo everyday but not getting to touch that raven hair. He was thankful for the rain. The moisture on his hat dripped in his face, obscuring the scalding tears running down his face.

"Don't go."

Sage tried to calm his thundering heart. "I have to." He couldn't dare hope. He grabbed the saddlehorn and put his foot in the stirrup.

"I love you, Sage."

Sage froze. His heart stopped beating, and he couldn't breathe.

Ryo continued. "I didn't…I thought you hated me…for what I did."

He heard the despair and hurt in Ryo's voice, and he slowly turned to face him. Rain dripped from Ryo's hair and his clothing was soaked. He was staring at the floor.

"Sage?"

"Yes, Ryo?"

"Hold me."

"I can’t." Sage’s voice hitched in his throat.

"Why not?"

There was nothing that Sage wanted more than to pull Ryo’s body to his and kiss away the tears forming on his lashes. But the last time… "I…I don’t trust myself."