''This isn't true,'' Lucky said in a hoarse voice. ''Dad?''
The young man saw Luke and Stefan both look at him.
''I mean you!'' Lucky said, pointing at Luke. ''Tell me he is lying or he was dropped on the head as a baby and he doesn't know what he's talking about. Or at least that you checked and he is now a drug addict Tell me ANYTHING but that he's right''
''I'm sorry Lucky, I didn't know until you walked in just now'' Stefan started to say but Lucky cut him off.
''Don't talk to me. Don't look at me, don't say my name, don't even think about me!'' Lucky said to Stefan. ''My name is Lucas Lorenzo Spencer Jr. I was raised as a Spencer, I was raised by a Spencer, I wear the name Spencer. Nothing you can do, or say, will change that. I *am* a Spencer. I'm not a damn bloodsucker. I don't kidnap people, force them to marry me, force them to lie to their child and abandon them because they are scared for their safety, I don't try to freeze the world, or take over the family finance. I'll be back later, *dad*'' Lucky said this last sentence to Luke, then left
Lucky ran out of his former father's room and went right by Elizabeth and Nikolas. He didn't even hear them call his name, he didn't even see the people he ran into. He needed to be alone, he needed to put his idea back in place. He found himself out in the woods, and he made his way to the boxcar. Where, to him, everything had started to go right after his world crumbled. He sat where the chair was and slowly passed a hand over his face. Everything slowly started to make sense to him about how he acted when he was in captivity.
When Lucky had been working for Helena, she had told him over and over again about how Stefan was a coward, the weak branch of the family tree, and how he was never able to take his rightful place when Stavros died. Stefan should've been the one fighting the Spencers and he should've been the one in that staircase. Instead, she had been stuck with her parasite, as she called him, to be as the representative of the family until Nikolas, who she had thought was the heir, was old enough to take his rightful place.
And now everything was falling into place. The reason why he was never able to fight Faison, why he was always breaking down and crying, why he wasn't able to take his fate into his own hands and find a way out was becoming perfectly clear to Lucky. His father, his sperm donor, whatever he could call Stefan, was a coward. Stefan was a shadow of a man, and now, so was he.
But all and all, Lucky knew that he was more like his sick grandmother now. His little trip in Faison's world had made him cold, unable to get close to someone anyone, unable to trust, and to attach himself. What they did to him, when they had nothing else to do, or when they had tried to break him, came back to him within a flash. He only had time to run out of the boxcar and fall to throw up in the snow as the souvenirs of the physical abuse came back to haunt him. On his knees, next to the place he thought would always hold nothing else but happy memories, he put his hands on each side of his head and screamed his heartache. He was desperately trying to cover the moans that exploded in his head at that moment, the sounds of pleasure from his own grandmother when she abused him
***************
''WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?'' Luke exploded in his hospital room. ''Didn't you know one of them could barge in at any time? I swear Cassadine, if Lucky is gone again, I will have your head on my mantel next to the mayor's plate that says ‘thanks for killing Stavros Cassadine, world's biggest cockroach.''
Stefan didn't answer, he just walked out. He needed to find Lucky, he needed to make sure that he was ok. The look his son gave had given him, even though Lucky had tried to make it a look as is it was full of pure hate, was a petrified look. Lucky was horrified to be his son, almost as if he would rather die, instead of facing the truth. And that was what Stefan was scared of. What if Lucky did something drastic before they had a chance to be sure of the young man's paternity? And Stefan had to be honest with himself, having Lucky as a son would diminish his pain from losing Nikolas. It wouldn't be the same, it would never be the same, but Stefan knew that if he could only talk to Lucky, he would make him see that he wasn't like the rest of the family. He wasn't cruel.
***************
''Come on Elizabeth, I'll take you home'' Nikolas said quietly. ''You too Emily''
Liz couldn't stop looking in the direction Lucky had disappeared. Why? What had happened to make him run like that? Nikolas was right though, Lucky wouldn't be coming back to the hospital tonight, and she had nothing to do here anymore. For the first time in months, she knew that she would have a complete night of sleep. Lucky's death wouldn't come haunting her anymore.
***************
Nikolas was sitting at the table in his living room, when he heard the door open. ''Finally you decided to come'' He said quietly and saw his brother put his coat on the hanger.
''Yeah. I needed some time to think about what it meant to be back. I mean, I just showed up, without thinking about it when I heard dad was sick.'' Lucky came up from behind Nikolas and looked over his shoulder. ''What are you doing?'' He asked
''I'm writing Stefan a check. I mean, I bought this house with Cassadine money, but I'm not a Cassadine anymore, so I'll start paying him back slowly''
Lucky had gave a sarcastic snort. ''You know,'' he started, ''You bought this house while you thought you were Stefan's son right? So the money you are giving him back, would be for his son, if he had one, right?''
''Yeah, I guess so, why?'' Nikolas asked, his face one big question mark
''well, in that case, make the check payable to Lucas Lorenzo, that's L-u-c-a-s, space L- o-r-e-n-z-o, space Spencer, junior''
''Um, Lucky, is there something you need to tell me? Are you on drugs?'' Nikolas said, watching his brother for any signs of drug use
Lucky slowly shook his head and looked at his brother with tears in his eyes. ''So tell me, what is it like to be a Cassadine?'' He asked softly, his voice barely a whisper.
***************
''What are you doing back here? I thought you would be home, with Skippy, playing jump the kangaroo or something,'' Luke said when Alexis poked her head in. ''Besides, isn't it past visiting hour? Don't tell me you came back to put me to sleep without witnesses. That's too sweet!'' He added with a grin
''Yeah, put you to sleep, with a pillow over your mouth'' she shot back and sat next to him. ''Jax is out for the night and I had nothing to do, so I thought I would come and see if you didn't had decided to croak on me before I had a chance to forge your will. I like that club of yours''
''What is it with my club?'' Luke asked with a sigh. ''Earlier, Lucky and Nikolas were fighting for it too'' his smile slowly fell and he looked at Alexis. ''Seriously, why are you here?''
''Well'' Alexis sighed. ''Jax is out for the night somewhere with Mrs. Ashton and Ned is working so--''
''Is that Australian Dingo Dog cheating on you?'' Luke cut her off ''Because if he is, I'll have him stuffed and put next to Stefan's head and the mayor's plate on my mantel''
''What are you babbling about?'' She asked with a raised eyebrow. ''Oh it's true, you don't know'' she slowly started to talk about why she married Jax. Stefan had called her and told her Luke was in serious need of a friend, and her brother thought that she was the only one he would trust right now. Stefan didn't tell her why, and she thought it was because of Laura's betrayal. Her orders were to talk his ear off and take his mind off of things, by any means necessary.
''You mean to tell me I decided to let you go, since I don't pursue married women, for nothing?'' Luke asked in mock indignation. ''That's not fair. When you said I had my chance I believed you! I was right when I said the game was rigged, wasn't I?''
Alexis laughed at his outburst and slapped his hand. ''Come on Luke, don't tell me you were really jealous of Jax, cause I won't believe you. You and I aren't even friends!''
''Of course not. Friends like each other, and I don't like you'' Luke answered with a smile. ''But if you want to divorce that playboy wanna-be, let me know, and I'll re-think my position about not liking you''
Alexis was dying to know what the sadness in his eyes was. The one that hadn't been there the last time she talked to him. She saw what he said, about Laura killing the last piece of his heart, the last human piece of him, but she didn't know what changed since she had been here a few hours ago. She finally saw him break down in front of her, and she sat next to him to wrap her arms around him. ''What happened?'' She whispered, caressing his cheek softly.
''She finally did it Natasha'' He whispered. ''She finally destroyed me''
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