For the third time, the paramedic tried to get Luke's heart beating again. Nikolas, for the third time, held his breath as the sound from the heart monitor jumped to become flat again.
"-Come on Luke, dammit, will you come back? Think of everything Stefan will teach your daughter if you aren't around to stop him"
Nikolas was trying by any mean to have Luke breath again. Why was it so difficult? Because Luke didn't want to live. He needed a reason and Lulu alone wasn't working.
"-This is my last try Mr. Cassadine. If he doesn't come back, there isn't much more I can do"
The paramedic grimly put gel on the paddles and turned the electrical pulse up higher.
Nikolas silently prayed and hoped God would listen to him. Every Cassadine fiber in him told him he should be ashamed to pray for Luke Spencer to live, but other than being a smart ass, Luke was a human being. He deserved to live, even though he killed the man Nikolas thought of his father all of his life. But there was nothing Nikolas could do for Stavros, but he could pray for Luke. Finally, the long awaited sound filled the ambulance, as Luke's heartbeat started again. Nikolas sighed of relief, and he thanked God for giving him a second chance. He would make a huge donation to the church, although his thoughts seemed shallow, he still thought that was the only thing he could do to repay the Creator for the favor he granted the young man.
"-That's it Luke, breath. Nikolas encouraged his step-father. Think of everything you will do to make me pay, and you'll be on your feet in no time"
Looking at Luke's Body, Nikolas hoped this would come true. Luke had never looked so small, so frail, so pale before this moment. As soon as they reached GH, Luke was taken into the OR, to try and stop the internal bleeding, while Nikolas got himself to the nearest couch. He fell on it and cried, finally letting the stress of it all catch him.
"-Nikolas, is something wrong?"
Nikolas looked up and came face to face with his father. He opened his mouth to talk but all he could do was take a deep breath, desperately trying to prevent the sobs from coming out again. He looked at his father, his eyes red as new tears threatened to fall. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm down as Stefan sat next to him on the couch and took him in his arms.
"-I think I might have killed Luke. Nikolas said quietly
-And the problem
would be? Asked Stefan"
Nikolas looked at him with disbelief. Surely he knew there was no love lost between Luke and Stefan, but to be so cold about it, was something Nikolas never thought Stefan could be.
"-Father. He said, after he took a deep breath. You don't understand. I
don't want Luke to die. He is my sister's father, and despite everything, he is still my mother's husband.
-Why don't you tell me why you think yyou killed Luke
-We were in a car accident
-My God Nikolas, have you been examineed by a doctor yet?
-No, after what I did to Luke, I don'tt deserve to get well. Nikolas said quietly. I knew I shouldn't have taken my car father, but I did it anyway. Now, Lesley Lu might grow up without her brother and her father, and it's my fault.
-Nikolas, listen to me. You said so yoourself, it was an accident. Surely you don't believe you would hurt Luke Spencer willingly?"
Nikolas just looked at Stefan and got up to pace the room. Compared to Luke's, his injuries were minor.
Stefan watched his son wearily pacing the room, his eyes on the clock. Now the right thing to do would be to call Laura, but she was at the country house and need not be disturbed. She was under such stress now anyway and Stefan had the situation well in hand. He would be here when the doctor pronounced his enemy dead and he would heal all the hurt that was inevitable.
"Nikolas please be seated. If you do not rest I will be forced to have you taken to an examining room for your own good. What good can you do Luke Spencer in there"
Stefan could hardly believe the words as he said them and shook his head slightly as the contemplated the meaning. When Nikolas didn't respond, he stood and placed himself in Nikolas path. "Son you need to relax." Stefan said more quietly.
Barely able to focus behind his tears, Nikolas allowed himself to be led to the couch, his eyes never leaving the double doors of the Operating room.
"Please be Ok Luke. I didn't mean to hurt you. Lulu needs you." He repeated in a broken voice as Stefan sat helplessly at his arm.
Stefan saw Bobbie come rushing out of the Er, looking very distraught. "Barbara is there news?" He called out as she raced by he and Nikolas.
"Stefan." Bobbie sighed, taking in Nikolas blood splattered clothes. "Nikolas what's wrong?" She asked, with weary concern in her voice.
"-I'm the one who hit him Bobbie." Nikolas admitted.
-How is he?" Nikolas' heart raced as he registered Bobbie's grim expression.
Bobbie slipped an arm around Nikolas. "It isn't very good hon. He has some organ damage so we may be looking at a transplant. If we can stabilize him though Nikolas, he has a chance." She said gently, pulling her former stepson in for a gentle hug. "Is Laura on her way?"
Stefan looked away and shook his head. "I thought it wise not to worry her until we had the precise details of his condition."
Bobbie sighed. "What's the number I'm calling her." Stefan looked at his son for a moment before giving his head a resolute shake.
"She will not be disturbed Barbara." He said firmly, meeting his ex wife's eyes and seeing the combination of fire and pain in their blue depths. She still had the ability to move him, even at such a time as this.
"She will be disturbed Stefan. If we can't get a transplant she deserves the opportunity to say goodbye to her husband."
Neither ex husband or wife was aware of the horror that appeared on Nikolas face, the pained gasp and moan as the realization washed over him. Luke would probably die and he was to blame. How could he have done this to his mother, to his sister? "Lucky please watch over him. He's needed here." Nikolas said as one tear ran down his cheek. He looked up at the ceiling as if trying to picture his brother and what Lucky would say. Nikolas realized at that moment what a strong influence his brother had been on them all.
The heart monitor beeped hypnotically as Luke lay in the recovery room. As the nurses and doctors monitored his blood pressure and heart rate, they realized something about this patient. Something about this one told all the doctors that he didn't really want to be saved. He wasn't hungry for life. Some patient had such vitality that even in unconsciousness they almost seemed that they could leap off an operating table, regardless of their illness or injuries. But this man was different. He seemed so weary, so tired of living. The years etched upon his face told the tale of hard living, but there was more to him. His sadness enveloped them all. Slowly, Luke opened his eyes, slight smile fading into a whispered word. "Cowboy."
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