''Because I need to make sure I'm the example of perfection,'' the 7-year-old boy replied. ''that way, Uncle Stefan won't have a fit when he sees me again. Remember last time?''
Jax remembered all too well that last time, when Stefan took Jax to court for the legal guardianship of Jeremiah, whom he refused to call Jerry at any time. His arguments were that Jax was an unfit parent, taking the boy to business meetings and everywhere else he saw fit, when all Jeremiah needed was a stable home. Of course Stefan lost his battle, and Jerry stayed with the only father he had known.
''Yeah well, that doesn't mean you have to wait for a quarter to 1 to get ready if we are leaving at one,'' Jax countered back and Jerry just flashed his blue eyes and perfect rank of white teeth at him with a radiant smile. ''Come on,'' Jax laughed, seeing all too well his brother's influence on the boy.
While driving to the hospital for the annual Christmas party, Jax couldn't help but look at the boy from the side. He was the perfect example of wealth and good manners, in his brown dress pants, white shirt, and brown tie. His hair was perfectly trimmed and his hands were cleaner than a cook's kitchen. Outside, he was the definition of power, but inside, Jax made sure that he was a normal, healthy, happy 7 year old boy. And he succeed, for the most part. The only thing Jax couldn't give the boy, but he would give his own life if he could, was for Jerry to have known his mother. If only long enough for her to hold him.
*-*Flashback, June, 2000*-*
''What did you say?'' Jax yelled into the phone. ''I couldn't hear you!''
Why was she doing this to him? Jax couldn't help but ask himself. The biggest event of the Port Charles society that they could go to together to make sure everyone still believed them to be the happily married, pregnant, couple and Alexis was somewhere playing wife to Ned Ashton. While she was 7 months pregnant no less! Still, they had decided to tell everyone the truth before the baby was born. Everyone refused to raise a child in this lie. The lie being that the baby was being Ned's, and not Jax's. Jax and Alexis had only been lovers once, on Christmas, where they had both drank too much and ended up making wild, passionate love in their conjugal bed. But they used protection because neither one of them had wanted to bring a baby into this world in a loveless marriage. Well, loveless on her part, because Jax had fallen in love with his wife when the weeks they lived together became months. He couldn't tell the exact moment he fell for her, but his love for Alexis was stronger than anything he ever experienced, and it was important for him that she never knew anything. Alexis had told him time and time again how he was her best friend, and she could do, and say anything she wanted in front of him without ever being afraid of being ridiculed, or hurting his feelings. She said 'I hope it'll never change' so who was he to deny her that by telling her how he felt?
But that didn't change the fact that she was supposed to be back here for the Nurses' ball, and now she was calling to tell him something but he couldn't hear what. ''YOU'LL HAVE TO REPEAT THAT ALEXIS. I CAN'T HEAR YOU!''
''I SAID WE'RE ON OUR WAY HOME,'' She yelled into the phone and Jax laughed. All interference had stopped.
''You don't need to yell about it, I'm not deaf'' he teased. ''I just wanted to know when you were gonna be here. We have exactly three hours to get ready you know'' He reminded her in a soft voice.
''I know, and I'm so sorry Jax but Ned wanted to go to a cabin, and he got lost on the mountain side, and we ran out of gas....'' By her voice,
Jax could tell how tired she was. ''Anyway, all of this is to tell you that we'll be home soon. I missed you, Hubby'' she added with a smile in her voice.
''I missed you too. And tell that idiotic cave man it's not good to take a pregnant woman out for too long, and to get lost! I'll have his head when he brings you back here!''
''Oh hush, we're on our way''
*-*End of flashback*-*
But Alexis never made it back. Jax had waited, and waited, for her to come home. When hours became days, he started to frantically look for her. He went to Helena, threatened to make the world stop spinning if Alexis wasn't back by the end of the day, but still, no sign of her. Finally, 3 weeks after that incident, he had received a call. He followed the instructions the person on the phone had given him, and arrived at a little hospital by the side of the mountain.
''Where is she? Where's my wife?'' Jax asked every doctor he saw, and finally they led him to the pediatrics, without answering his questions. There he was, the most perfect little angel God had ever created. ''Mr. Jacks?'' Jax heard from behind and he turned around. ''I'm doctor Knight. This way please''
The doctor took him to his office and closed the door. ''Where's my wife?'' Jax demanded ignoring the doctor's offer to sit down.
''She and Mr. Ashton were in a car accident. He died instantly, I'm sorry about that. As for your wife, she fought as long as she could for the baby. But she died a week ago. I'm sorry''
''She died?'' Jax asked numbly. ''MY WIFE WAS DYING AND NO ONE IN THIS DAMN HOSPITAL THOUGHT ABOUT CALLING ME?''
''Please calm down. I understand what you are going through, but we were only respecting Mrs. Jacks' wishes. She signed a form forbidding us to call you on our own. We didn't have a choice in the matter though, since your son is strong enough to leave the hospital now. But we will need a name to register him to the government, sir. I'm sorry about all of this''
His son. Alexis had named him the baby's father, after she understood Ned couldn't take care of the boy anymore. The doctor gave him the form he had to sign and saw Alexis' handwriting at the bottom of the page.
''Mother: Natasha Davidovitch Cassadine, Legal name Alexis Davis-Jacks
Father: Jasper Jacks''
Tears started to fall down his cheeks as he looked at her name. Alexis Jacks. ''When can her body be sent to Port Charles?'' He asked in a strangled voice.
''I'm sorry sir. Because of her wishes for us not to call you until the baby was old enough, we had to proceed. Mr. Ashton as well as your wife have been buried in the little cemetery behind the church. So this isn't the hospital's jurisdiction anymore. Now, if you'll sign the papers, we'll get your son ready''
He wrote the boy's name down, Jeremiah Alexander Jacks, and followed the doctor. The reality of what had happened refused to register in his mind. Even as he put the baby in the car, he still couldn't fully comprehend it. He was now a father. Alexis was gone. When would he learn not to love anymore? Everyone he loved eventually perished. He would now guard little Jerry with his life. No one would take the baby away from Jax. He owed it to Alexis. She asked him to raise the boy when she signed his name as father, and he would lead her son into adulthood against one and all if he had to.
''Dad?'' Jerry asked in his little voice. ''You are thinking about mum aren't you?''
Jax looked at his son with a smile. ''No I wasn't, why do you say that?''
''Because you get this look on your face, like every time you think about her.''
Jax laughed as he parked the car in the hospital's parking lot. ''Look? What look?'' He asked innocently. They had this conversation for as long as Jerry was old enough to know the truth about his mother's death.
''That I'm-thinking-about-her-again goofy look'' The boy replied, ''You know, the ‘what-I- wouldn't-give-to-have-her-with-me-today' look, the one you always have on holidays.'' Jerry got out of the car and waited for Jax. ''Do you think you'll ever stop missing her?'' The boy inquired innocently.
''How could I?'' Jax asked as he kneeled in front of his son to straighten his tie. ''She was the love of my life Tyke, you know that'' Jax's eyes filled with tears once again, as they always did this time of year, and on every other holiday. ''Come on, we're gonna be late for Alan's reading the Christmas story''
Jerry took his hand and ran, his father in tow. The boy had to make sure his father had a good time today and tomorrow, so that he wouldn't miss Alexis too much. Jerry's good resolution died as soon as he saw his best friend. ''Dad, can I go sit with Toby in front? PLEASE?''
Jax smiled and nodded, going on the side where all the other parents were. He saw Jerry sit nearly on Toby's lap, and the boys giggled before turning their attention to the front. He felt a hand slide around his shoulders and someone planted a kiss on his cheek. ''Hey'' he said when he saw Carly by his side. ''Merry Christmas''
''Merry Christmas. How are you?'' She whispered not to disturb the reading.
''I'm ok. I'll make it through, I always do. Michael's so cute in his elf's costume''
''Yeah he would not hear otherwise. This year, he was gonna be Santa's elf, wether we wanted him to or not.''
''Gee, I wonder where he gets that temper'' Jax teased and Carly poked him in the ribs. ''Where's that husband of yours?''
''He's donating his annual check to the Stone Cates Memorial Wing'' Carly answered with smile. ''Jerry looks like a little man dressed like this.''
''Yeah, we are going to dinner tonight with Stefan, his wife, Nikolas and his wife'' Jax answered under his breath. ''I don't want to, but I don't want Jerry to be alone on Christmas eve just because I don't like his family. I don't mind Nikolas, nor Emily. And Jerry just adores his little cousin Natasha. What about you?''
Carly reached and squeezed his hand, knowing how hard it was for him to go and pretend to be happy for his son's sake. She did it when she lived with the Quartermaines, and Jason wasn't even dead. ''Traditional things. Mike is coming over and we'll have the traditional turkey thing with Sonny, and Jason and the two kids. What are you and Jerry doing tomorrow? Wanna come over?''
Jax saw Sonny slowly make his way to them. Over the last months, the two men had learned to appreciate each other. Of course, they didn't have much of a choice, with their two sons being as best friends as Jax and Sonny used to be enemies. Toby Corinthos and Jerry Jacks were always together, doing one thing or another. They were the same age, with a month difference. Carly realized she was pregnant soon after her affair with Sonny, and from that grew love. Now they were raising Michael and Toby together, in the penthouse. When the two boys became friends, their fathers tried to put a stop to it by each telling their sons what the other families did to them, but stopped when they saw the boys didn't care. All they wanted to do was play together, they didn't care their fathers shared a dead lover, or anything else. So Jax decided to do for Jerry what he couldn't do for Brenda, and saw Sonny as a man, not as an enemy.
''Yeah Jax, why don't you and Jerry come over tomorrow?'' Asked Sonny as he shook his former enemy's hand.
''Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll pass. Jerry and I are used to spending Christmas together, we open presents, sing songs, wrestle, and other stuff. It's our special day,'' Jax explained, thinking it had been his and Alexis' special day, too.
''Well, if you change your mind, the offer still stands'' Carly reminded, before turning her attention to the story that was told.
Jax saw Jerry turn his head and look at him, a big smile lighting his whole face. Jax smiled back and stuck his tongue out, getting Jerry to retaliate with making a fish face at him while Jax laughed. He truly loved the boy as if he were his own. He didn't see Helena Cassadine in the door, looking over the kids, her eyes stopping on Jerry's back, and a cruel smile slowly rising on her face.