Chapter 11

Lucky was looking at her, expecting her to get up and start singing my girl. But she was staring at him too. Lucky passed his hand in his hair and looked deep into her eyes.

"-I'm sorry Elizabeth, I can't.

-What? Why not?

-Because I don't want to hurt you, and, by accepting, I will. I know why you are doing this, I can read you like an open book. You saw me with your sister and it's driving you crazy. But I am not a prize Elizabeth. I was the reason for the war, when you first came to Port Charles. You thought I didn't know, but deep down inside, I knew, and I don't want it to start again. I am not going out with your sister. I was with her because she invited herself to the charity diner. That's it. I wasn't even happy to see her there. So don't sweat it OK?

-You think it's because I'm jealous of Sarah?

-Isn't it? I mean, up to three week ago, you didn't even know me, and now you want to be my girl? A guy wonders why this is happening only after I went out with Sarah. When I told you I wanted to forget about you, you didn't even flinch. I'm not saying you are doing this to hurt me, but please Elizabeth let it go. Let's be friends and leave it at that."

Elizabeth got up and cleaned the table. Lucky knew she was mad, and he knew he was doing the right thing. Being with her was what he wanted most in his life, but not if it meant being with her for the wrong reasons. Knowing there was nothing else he could do tonight he got up, and started walking towards the exit. He had forgotten how much he used to fight with the old Elizabeth, and that was draining him now. She came back out again and looked at him, her face full of tears.

"-I'm sorry Elizabeth, he said.

-I'm sorry too. I thought this could work, but I see it won't. Since you don't believe I am serious about this. I should've known better than to fall in love with you, she whispered"

Lucky stopped in the middle of his movement. What did she just say?

"-You just said you love me, he simply said.

-Yeah well what good does it do me? She answered, still turning her back on him, cleaning the table.

-Elizabeth please look at me, he said

-Just go Lucky OK? I am through groveling in front of you

-Groveling?

-I'm not stupid OK? She said, looking in his eyes. Ever since we met I've gone out of my way to make you understand I liked you, I wanted to be with you, but all you did was push me away. You don't love me, I think you are glad I lost my memory, it's easier to dump me without hurting the real feelings I had for you. That way, you could still be the hero everyone made you out to be!

Lucky was stunned. How could he have been so blind? She was right. She did everything she could to make him understand she had real feelings for him, but he didn't want to believe it. He was too busy trying to protect her from him, he didn't realized she really wanted to be with him. He should've known that the "old" Elizabeth didn't do what she didn't want to, no matter how much the other person wanted her to. He was hurting, and she was too, all because he was too stupid to notice it.

He got close to her and put his hand on her shoulder, but she shoved it away, saying to leave her alone. He turned her around and looked deep into her soul. Why did he think there was two Elizabeth? There was only one. The first Elizabeth was this guard dog, who had been so badly hurt, that she would bite everyone who would get too close to her. But then, after her rape, she realized that being that way wasn't solving anything, so she became herself, her real self. Sweet, loving, unique. When she lost her memory, she was coming back to the way she was before, but, she trusted Lucky with her heart, and he just broke it.

"-I love you, he told her. I never meant to hurt you. I am so sorry. I guess, I was so used of thinking for you, that I never stop and think that you could do it yourself. I think it's my turn to grovel.

-Well you should! But why did I expect a lot from you? You are only a man!"

He took her in his arms, still leaning on his clutches and he smelled her hair. Her head was on his chest and she was listening to the crazy beat of his heart. She heard him sigh, as if he was about to say something, and she smiled, because she had a feeling she knew what he was about to do, and she knew she was right when she felt him rock a little.

"I've got sunshine

Mmmm"

Lucky got away a little, and looked deep into her eyes.

"-I love you, he whispered, before kissing her with everything he had inside."

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They went back to Elizabeth's and Lucky was sitting on her bed, kissing her gently. Every time she tried to go under his shirt he would push her hands away, smiling. She sure was stubborn. He still couldn't believe she said she loved him. Even though she didn't remember anything, she still fell in love with him. They were soul mates, why did he think otherwise? Every little inch of his body belonged to Elizabeth, every thoughts was hers to have, every breath he took was for her.

Thinking back to when he asked her to promise spending his life with him, and the proposal he had prepared before the accident, he had to violently shut himself up not to ask her now.

Elizabeth's body was on fire. She was dying for his touch, but he didn't seem like he wanted to do more than kissing, and that was bugging her. She was trying to touch him, get him to touch her, but he wasn't responding, preventing her to do it.

"-Lucky? She asked

-Mmmm?

-Make love to me"

Lucky leaned back and looked at her. She couldn't be serious about this could she?

"-Elizabeth, we don't need to do this

-I need to feel you Lucky, I want to feel you. I want to make love to you. Why won't you?

-Because Elizabeth, I would feel like raping you, he said, wanting to be honest.

-Raping me? What are you talking about?

-Elizabeth, I think that it is wonderful that you want to be with me that way, I really do, but normally, the thought of having a man touch you like that would make you sick. And I don't want to take advantage of you.

-Lucky try to see it my way ok? I know I've been raped, you told me, but I don't feel sick, or repulsed by the thought of you touching me. Why can't we do it now while I am fine? That way, when I do get my memory back, I will know what it's like to be intimate with you and I won't be scared of you touching me anymore. Does that make sense?

-It does Elizabeth, when you see it like that but --

-No buts! Either you want to make love to me or you don't! Lucky, you are human, stop acting like a knight in a shiny armor for a change. Stop thinking and enjoy life a little"

Elizabeth kissed him and felt something changing in his embrace. He was more relaxed, more passionate. She took another shot at putting her hands under his shirt, and, for the first time, he didn't take them out. He deepened the kiss and got on with her on the bed, ready to let her tell him what she wanted. He never refused her anything, why start now?