BOOK 1- BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI


	Contents

Chapter 1 - Meet My Bavarian Lawyer
Chapter 2 - Cafe Planetary Affairs
Chapter 3 - Hotel Illuminati Hof 
Chapter 4 - Domestic Scenes
Chapter 5 - City Tour With Mr. Orwell
Chapter 6 - War Veterans
Chapter 7 - Interview in Space Orb
Chapter 8 - Chasing the Spooks



	Chapters

	1. Meet my Bavarian Lawyer

Ninety nine percent of some professions give a bad name to the rest. Ninety nine percent of the third Reich gave a bad name to the rest of that civilization by freely and truly voting for Hitler. With this time honored wisdom in mind I walked past the Prussian secretary into the office of my Bavarian lawyer. 

‘Ach, Memet, you are too early again’, said the professional with a rehearsed false smile. ‘Nothing yet from the court. Why don’t you make another appointment with the secretary?’ 

I knew he would say that again. ‘I cannot because I must first make an appointment for making one,’ I grinned. ‘But that too can be arranged I suppose.’ He stood there like a lost something. ‘You feeling all right?’ I asked with concern, not for well being of this sly creature but for whatever trap he had for me by way of suppressing vital information. Pretence to forgetting to say what matters most is not punishable in their laws and that whole breed delights in the sport.  

‘Ach. Yes, some ones were here to meet you. Three ones, I think, foreigners. Vietnam maybe.’ He stopped, rose from the table and walked to the window. ‘There they are, standing near the pool. Hurry and you may catch up with them.’
‘Really?’ I said with suspicion, often confirmed prejudice, of all he was going to say. The predator returned to his chair and stood behind it like taking refuge from a wild animal he means to hunt. Anything free or natural, or original is called wild around here. These arroganti, cut off from civilization by the Alps, are possessed with improving all things natural, which they naturally call wild. Neither plant nor animal is safe from their zeal to improve it above and beyond the original material they manage to enslave. Neither is the human kind an exception to their scientific mission. Fear in his eyes was real as usual. What a lawyer to protect me from mad legions of Bavarian official underground.

He looked like offering all he had just to see me leave the room. He does that every time and I give expression to my disgust every time but nothing improves. I walked to the same window, forced it open with a bang and shouted to the town square gaping from below. ‘Hey you, strangers, three ones, from Vietnam maybe, did you want to see me? Hey, hey!’ They looked, saw me waving, brightened up, chattered to each other and walked towards the building.

‘They are coming up here,’ I said and took a chair. My lawyer sat down in resignation. Poor chap knew no further by way of civilizing me. Lawyer and client waited silently, I watching the lawyer and he watching the door until it opened and the three strangers filled the room. They came at me radiating happiness. Naturally I stood up and went forward to them. Respect is where respect is due and not to uniforms filled with putrid beasts. Do not try to explain the difference to my lawyer. Just ignore him for as long as you can which is until the law drives you wrong or right into his web.

My guests! In robes like monks from Tibet and with looks of recognition, obviously aware of my media fame too. Yes, I could instantly see they were here to talk to me. My long dormant oriental instinct for hospitality revived from the recesses to which it had been banished by the junk of innumerable Prussian regulations designed for zoo animals. Like a bird testing the wings after a long period of immobility, I stretched my memory. Guests are not to be harassed with questions. Their comfort has top priority. Absolute freedom of Body and mind to be respected. Where information cannot be known regarding their comfort, intelligent guesses are wanting. A guided city tour is what they may like, I will assume at risk of guessing wrong. The right thing to start with is to lead the visitors, obviously first time in this town, to interesting targets with a pace slow enough to allow my guests to offer alternatives of their own liking. I will proceed on a course and allow for corrections. That is the human way! Let the Prussian potatoes label Oriental all such refinements of man and bird of the planet. The more derogatory they get, the more confession of their defects. Real or pretended lack of capacity to guess what others would most like. Subject the visitor to questions until the perverse Prussian mind believes to establish superiority. Must make the most of territorial advantage, this creature incapable of competition on level field and with equal weapons. 

Witness the many scandals around Olympic contests! Talk of gentlemen and sport! Even there, all those leaking scandals around doping, cannot yet be the worst of the affair. Knowing their mentality, I can almost see their secret delight at fooling the world with doping stories. The real trick in the pretended shame of making supermen out of their athletes with chemicals has to be the opposite of what they leak. All the fuss about chemicals from Bavarian laboratories that could make any athlete win and the wrong of using them has to be for covering up the opposite. What is the opposite of making supermen out of your team by doping chemicals? It is weakening of the rival teams by slow working poisons of course. And unlike improving drugs which they only wish for, like Al Iksirs of their dark ages, development of slow poisons for rivals is technically within the capacity of their labs. It has always been the stand of their science.

After warm greetings I led my guests towards the door to start a city tour. Lawyer was a dumbfounded presence during our long meeting ceremony. I could see him straining all his senses, and console ears above all else, to pick some hints of what the errand of my guests was. He was dying to know the nature of business that would make three monks, possibly from Tibet, come to meet me. He could not possibly know if they picked the name of my lawyer from newspaper or if they had some other link. I would not betray by some unguarded word or look that this was the first time ever I saw these gentlemen. In fact, the only Tibetans or Monks in such garb with wide sleeves I ever saw were obscene local Bavarian forgeries I often see coming out of regulation offices of those sects with exotic and esoteric names. I guess no land has these poisonous mushrooms in such density as in Bavaria. What they are up to is the real riddle way beyond all those verbal mysteries they conjure up just to confound some lost teenager. You run away from drug pushers in police pay and you fall into webs of those sects. 

Lawyer recovered his authority only when he spotted a rule we meant to violate. You see, I was leading my guests out without prior permission of the creature whose pork smell marked that office. The brute knows his rights all right. Territorial prerogatives. Problem with that kind is not that they do not know right and wrong but that they trample on similar rights of others with delight. And this, as matter of rigid principle of perversion only when they are sure to get away with.

‘Where are you taking them, Memet?  Since when do you know them? You never told me that you knew these people. What do they want?’

Leading the way out with a hand I gave an admonishing look at the lawyer. He is a meddler in other people’s affairs for no noble motives. Information he needs, never about nature or sciences but all about persons. He is a predator, this lawyer. Of the kind that hunt in packs. Neither is such curiosity merely a personal defect. Friends of mine who got jobs in Bavarian branches of even American companies were made to sign a four page declaration to this effect. That they have never met people from Mongolia, Tibet and Korea and that they would inform the security department as soon as they did. What is more, the form of declaration every Asian employed in sensitive companies of Bavaria was made to sign was dated 1980. So this is not a recent reaction to some fabricated terror scare. It is a system stretching as far back as you can trace. Generations, centuries maybe. Most intense in Bavaria, distribution of the paranoia can easily be mapped on the planet. The more intense this secret paranoia and dark control, the more you hear freedoms championed. You can easily count frequency of freedom upheld in papers for a period of six weeks and color world map accordingly. The more frequent the mantra broadcasting from a zone, the more intensive the total control there. Like negative of a picture.

‘Maybe I can help!’ He added like covering up his exposed evil mind. Prussian potatoes are never sure if sharp Orientals can read thoughts when they think it justified. Sure I can read every one of his thoughts. Respect for privacy of even a poisonous insect would restrain me most of the time from turning over every stone, but such unilateral reserve never crosses the mind of my lawyer. In a perverted universe he can understand; whoever can, will! Herbivorous Etiquette of vegetarian life forms is either inconceivable or ridiculous or both to carnivorous hunters. That is why brutes reflect their own motives so frequently on grazing tribes. Naturally even the devil would need confirmation of its evil theories once a thousand years. That is why this scientific killer breed tried all perverse combinations until their cows went mad. That, a creature as a cow can go mad gives some comfort to the perverted. First they make the cows into cannibals. Not straightforward but by cheating. Just like folk stories of Bavarian castles are full of scenes of feeding sons to unwitting fathers at dining table of their landlord. As if mad was worse than cannibalism. And then, news of dangerous cows fill acres of papers exceeding all that was ever printed against Nazi legions of Death.

‘You cannot understand why three wise men from the Orient would look for me instead of applying to you for their business? Give me a break, will you! To start with, I am the top media celebrity of this free state of yours, right? Few times your name appears in a paper is for being my lawyer. Right? How often was I on the first page these past 12 months? Come on, say it. You have all the press cuttings just as I do. Three hundred days, right? I was on the first page of someone of those four yellow papers of this free state Bavaria, no less than three hundred times in a year. You know what annoys me most in this feud to which I am the one party, the good guys, and the whole apparatus of this free state is the dirty party?  That they use my own picture in their news, which is fine with me, but they will not print my full name. The Law, right? Go on, speak out the stupid argument. Protection of minors, right?’ 

Sure enough he did not respond. A reply is not rehearsed yet. But next time he will have some answer, well constructed by several experts in dark recesses, a committee, though stupid all the same. Designed to fool some people for some time but not well enough to stand exposure to general public.

‘Now to your unhealthy curiosity! I being a media celebrity in this free state of Bavaria, thanks to the minister of police who talks about my sixty-two crimes on the TV, thanks to my school teachers who called the police 62 times so that 62 files could be opened and 62 cases could be set rolling and I be obliged to lawyers like you for 62  times. For absence of alternatives, mind you. Not one lawyer from Italy or America is certified or allowed to practice law in this free state of Bavaria. I am free to chose from among a hundred thousand lawyers, every one of them a Hans! Fat freedom.’

He knew all that of course and was not annoyed one bit, being thoroughly rehearsed for patience until a trap snaps. 

‘Like I was saying, these gentlemen are my guests and I will show them around this town. I will guide them to all places worth seeing and to all people worth listening to. You of all local apparatus are fully aware, that I am directly familiar with 62 Judges of this free state and with 62 courtrooms of the same. I have a special relationship with the yellow media here, which presents me as the monster of the century. What better guide can you offer to monks from Tibet who are here to explore your civilization, also known as lots of other things? I will show them the essential ingredients under the surface paint. All that meets the eye, right from the airport to this town hall yonder, does not justify your arrogance, Yet there is a surety to it. It follows that things that make you so much better than all the mankind on this planet are things you will rather keep secret. I intend to uncover those so that visitors from Asia can rationally appreciate or condemn all that boasting emanating from this part of the world. The way you people have been broadcasting arrogance is like a radio out of tune. I am destined to tune it so the message you have been sending will become laud and clear, for better or worse. After that, you will stand or fall according to your own merit. The ambiguity will be no more. I mean to level the field, to let the prey know about the hunter as much. Let them know equally about each other.’

He betrayed no reaction except the usual undertone of fear. ‘Now, I will be going with my guests. Will you rather have a lawyer lead them? One certified to practice in this free state? Or a tourist guide fresh from Volks High School evening course for adults - how to smile to your foreign guests! Oh, come on, do not pretend I made up that course title. Don’t even try to compliment me for a cute invention. You know well the course exists in every one of your towns, and has been going on full class since some time.’

	From the Orion Came Three Wise Men

I walked out past the secretary and down the stairs.  The clock stroke five afternoon on the tower of Mayor’s office, locally here called the rat house. Out came puppets from one window of the tower, fixed to a ring and in they went through another window. My guests, following gazes of the crowd, similarly stood watching the silly puppets. But they did so without the gusto some naïve tourists from Japan demonstrate. Al three of them were very serious. This confirmed a thought that had crossed my mind when I first saw them through that window. Most probably these gentlemen were come to search and find the lab in which that virus originated. The SARS! They traveled incognito, undercover, disguised. They were people more important than Monks in Tibet. On their mission hung fate of nations. And they looked intelligent enough to know that to solve the future crime is easier than to solve the present one. Surely the talents who develop and spread SARS will have covered a lot of their traces but those of the same agencies, presently working on the next revision of SARS ought to be easier to catch because they cannot have hidden any traces yet except to cover the façade of their deadly laboratory with capital bush.

It would be amazing if a wise people like the Chinese did not consider all possible sources of the virus let loose on innocent civilians of the planet. Natural or artificial, accident or design, well or ill intended. Here they were at last, three top agents of the least corrupted quarter of mankind. They had come to the most suspect zone ever, what with Bayer and drug lords favorite BMW, and they had wits enough to recruit  the one person best qualified to lead them through jungles of Bavaria. 

As the puppet show of Rat House came to end, a plan was already taking shape in my mind. Now, gentlemen, I will lead you to the best think tanks around here, I said, and led the way, The monks, this being their cover, I will pretend they are just monks, followed me with interest. First think tank we will visit now has the natural cover of a recreation place for retired foreigners. It is appropriately called Café Planetary Affairs. To be sure, much nonsense is chattered there. But once you know what you are looking for, when you have a well defined riddle to solve, you will soon recognize the solution to your riddle being generously thrown around by a retired gentlemen of depreciated capacity. However, do not expect a direct question to be answered. The gentlemen wasting away in these think tanks have obsessions. As incentive to make them talk of the thing each knows best, we will offer them what they lack most and crave for with in satiable hunger. Listeners we shall become to these kind souls whose only agony is to waste away without some service to mankind. 


	2.  Café Planetary Affairs

Soon, we were in the district identified with foreigners and right there, near its center stood Café Planetary Affairs. I could see sitting alone at a table, a prominent member of this thought generating workshop. Mr. Pedigree, he is called affectionately by all who have since long tired of his endless chatter about genealogical connections of prominent persons, present and past. We went in and filled the table next to Pedigree. He had a newspaper and his usual book of genealogies on the table. I ordered cola for my guests.  Not in glass bottles please, tin cans feel safer I added as I always do. You can never be careful enough in this land of passionate spies and chemical laboratories. A deadly combination this, labs and spies…

I could see Mr. Pedigree becoming hopeful of good listeners. Indeed I had listened to him several times before though nothing of his chatter made a permanent impression in my mind. You may have guessed by know that my special relationship with the law and justice, police and cabinet is exclusive to Bavaria. This Mr. Pedigree however likes to talk of other states of this strange Federal Republic. He does so passionately and I have a feeling that some sense could be picked out of his sermons if he would not mix up affairs of these states, which he more often calls duchies, with those of other countries.

Even when talking about Bavaria, which he rarely does, he invariably rolls into affairs of Greece in ancient times, which he says was before Napoleon. But when you get real confused and ask him again if this was before napoleon, he will say no that was after Napoleon. Naturally people claim he knew not what he said and poor Mr. Pedigree protests that they ought to pay attention to numbers! The later one is Napoleon Three, he says but he never mentions Two and One with that name. Pretty confusing subjects. And then, just when you think he is talking about dukes of Saxony, he has already changed to kings of Poland. He does this with Dukes of Holstein and Russia too. Dukes of Nassau, Oldenburg, Hanover, Coburg, Hessen and Battenberg invariably get confused with kings and queens of Britain. Fearing to hurt his feelings, I never told him this but I really think if he kept his subjects separate, he might interest more listeners in Café Planetary Affairs. He is also possessed with a small ruined castle in Swissland, I think he calls it Habicht-burg, but here too, invariably he jumps to history of Spain and the new world, Venezuela and Aztecs, Cortez and Pope Adrian and then jumps to Utrecht in Holland. No focus at all. Years of hard labor under designer provocations have clearly deranged his mind. All power of concentration is gone. Mr. Pedigree cannot focus on to the same subject for long. 

My companions were quietly sipping their colas from cans and Mr. Pedigree was all set and ready for a sermon. 

‘Yes, uncle, we are here to listen,’ I said. Any invitation to talk makes him one happy gentleman. He did talk, and more to my companions. The monks listened with great attention. Mr. Pedigree never knew if they actually understood him because they never uttered a word. He was too polite to ask. And I did catch him wandering a few times and pausing for some response but I let it pass without comment. 

Mr. Pedigree talked about Russia and I recognized parts I had listened to before. At previous times I had not retained anything of the content and I could certainly not summarize any part of it later. But this time, I was listening with an interest for what impression the speech was making on my guests and to my amazement, afterwards I could recall it all. Here is the gist of what Mr. Pedigree told us that day. 


	Mr. Pedigree tells us about the First World War

‘Suppose you know Kaiser Wilhelm’ said Mr. Pedigree and studied our faces. My guests not reacting, I felt obliged to. 

‘Sure, uncle, tell us more’ I said, not sure if he meant a drugstore or someone we ought to know. 

‘Right! This Kaiser declared war on Russia in 1914!’ With that clear cut clue I was beginning to fill memory gaps. An anti-communist president of some country bordering Russia. Well, yes, happens all the time back in the violent twentieth century. 

‘He lost the war,  abdicated, retired to a palace in Holland and lived there until 1941.’ Now I was beginning to really follow the subject. 

‘I never knew that!’ 

‘Suppose he won the war in 1917, which might very ill happen had America kept out, and conquered Russia. What do you think he might do with it?’ Uncle Pedigree studied my alien visitors again, but still no reaction there. 

‘Elementary, uncle. Like all conquerors, he would place his own people on top of the country and exploit its resources. Like turn it into a market for products of the conqueror.’

‘You think so? Like which of his people would the King of Prussia make Tsar of all Russians? Or would you say the conqueror might dictate a regime change of sorts?’

‘No regime change. Prussia, is it? Well then, a Tsar from Kaiser’s own Prussia. I don’t care which of his people and good thing America defeated the monster then. Besides, Russians would never accept a foreign usurper imposed on them by a Kaiser who shed so much of their blood. Not for long anyway’

‘That what you think? I wonder how long is long enough though. Like 150 years under a foreign Tsar too long to bear? The Kaiser Wilhelm had a brother Heinrich, admiral of Prussia. Would you think him a candidate for crown of occupied Russia?’

‘Sure, as bad as any. No worse’

‘I wonder! Who would you have for Tsarina of all Russians then? These posts go in pairs.’

‘Mrs. Brother Heinrich von Prussia, I guess… No?’

‘Yes, her. And who is she? You would not know that, of course!’

‘Give me a break, uncle. Place me not so low! I know a lot!’

‘But you don’t know the lot, and I placed you as high as President Woodrow Wilson. The good Scotchman never knew that queen of Greece he supported against the Greek people was sister of that same Kaiser he loathed. He was a historian as good as you. You are not unique.’

‘I am not? Oh, my reputation. Before I reached the age of sixteen in this free state of Bavaria,  I was many more times on first pages of newspapers than your president Wilson was in all his life.’

‘Boasting with petty duchy fame! You deserve better, kid! Like world class’

‘It is not my fault if Americans do not read Bild Zeitung’

‘Ha, ha! Neither do French, Italians nor Russians’

‘Them too! But bright side is, where I am unknown, so is Beckstein. What were you saying?’

‘Who the devil is he?’

‘Minister  of Police in Bavaria. Where have you been hiding all these years?’

‘I was about to say that if Prussia defeated Russia and kept it a colony, it might appoint Heinrich as the new Tsar. His missus would become the new Tsarina. Are you people following?’ 

No reaction from the Chinamen. Uncle studied them some more with encouraging demeanor. No movement there though they appeared alert and hungry for the rest of the story about Russia.

‘Where are you people from?’ 

Uncle was making an exception. He himself hates people who wont talk before that question. I would not mind knowing too.

‘From Orion’ said one elderly Chinaman and two others nodded supportively.

‘From the Orient, you mean’ corrected Uncle Pedigree.

They nodded at each other with some embarrassment and awaited the story to resume.

‘What would happen to the old Tsarina then?’

‘To some high society prison, I suppose, or exile maybe? Would the new Tsarina execute the defeated one, you think?’  

‘She might! Some royal sisters have hated each other more than any enemy’

‘What sisters?’

‘Ha, ha! I knew you would not know this. You see, the defeated Tsarina is sister of the new one from Prussia!’

‘No kidding! I thought they were fighting a world war, Prussia against Russia…’

‘They were, and dragging all nations into it. Poor France.’

‘How sisters then? Same mother?’

‘And same father, if you believe their official records’

‘Not if they are anything like official records of Bavarian police on my sixty two criminal cases’

‘Ha, ha! Good point. You may be more right than you think’

‘How sisters?’

‘Hessian sisters, of course. Sisters to the Grand Duke of Hesse.’

‘What makes him a Grand Duke’

‘What makes Beckstein Minister of Police?’

‘Oh, I see. That sort of duke. And what does he do for a living?’

‘Grand dukes are generals of the Reich.’

‘Bloody job.’

‘The only job a Grand Duke will do, or can do’

‘How many of those Grand Dukes did the Kaiser have in his army?’

‘A dozen or so. All certified by the Pope, and fixed for all times.’

‘Where? In Rome? My Italian friends know nothing of this.’

‘That is the game, those are the rules.’

‘Dirty game’

‘Only one Necrofils care to play’

‘So, there is a Hessian duke who is a general of the Kaiser attacking Russia…’

‘And attacking France…

‘And the duke has two Hessian sisters, one in Berlin, one in Moscow?

‘Petersburg was the capital then. Moscow has too many natives dangerous to the usurper. And the Duke had four sisters, not two.’

‘Two of them were well placed though!’

‘Not as well placed as the third Hessian sister of the same Grand Duke of Hesse’

‘First lady of France?’

‘Even better placed.’

‘No! First lady of America?’

‘Even better placed.’

‘Secretary General of the United Nations?’

‘Would certainly be had that organization existed at the time.’

‘So, where was the third Hessian sister placed when the world war started?’

‘You cannot guess the most important post during a world war?

‘Just say it, please? I am dying to know’

‘Supreme commander of the Allied forces against the German Reich’ 

‘British Commander was a Hessian German woman?’

‘His missus was the third Hessian sister.’

‘Commander himself was English?’

‘Which, oh, Louis Battenberg, no, he was Hessian German, just like his Hessian wife.’

‘You know what you are saying? There are things that just cannot be. Enemy aliens, you know, during war times, are all interned in camps like. Like Japanese-Americans after Pearl Harbor’

‘That proves Japan is no match for Hesse, doesn’t it?’

‘Hessen is where Siemens has its headquarters.’

‘Then Mitsubishi is no match for Siemens. In the long term, I mean, like over generations.’

‘That is horrible. What makes Siemens or Bayer invincible?’

‘Hessian sisters of course, and their brother the Duke’

‘Three dumb blondes?’

‘More than that. There is four of them.’

‘Where was the fourth one during the war? In Hessen for house keeping I suppose.’

‘No, the Grand Duchess was In Russia leading the Orthodox Church, as reinforcement to her sister the Tsarina of all Orthodox Russians.’

‘I didn’t know there were orthodox Germans in Hesse’

‘There aren’t any. Two of the four sisters become so only after appointed as Tsarina and Grand Duchess of Russia.’

‘Their brother the Grand Duke who is a general of the Kaiser, attacking Russia, France and Britain?’

‘He remains Lutheran, like the sister to Berlin’

‘Their sister in London?’

‘She becomes Church of England, what else?’

‘Whaw, these folk have a broad view of religion’

‘Broader than you think. To Portugal Hessian girls become catholic queens, to Greece they become Byzantine heads of church and state.’

‘Hessians, Hessians… I remember that from somewhere’

‘Thomas Paine maybe?’

‘Never seen that movie’

‘Mel Gibson fights Hessians in two films. Brave Heart is Scottish Patriots fighting Hessian aggressor. About 1300 AD. Patriot is American Patriots, Scots, Irish and Africans, fighting the same enemy on American soil from 1776 to this day. Scottish revolution continues beyond Atlantic’

‘I saw both films.’

‘So, you know all about Hessians.’

‘Don’t remember the chaps mentioned by that name in either film’

‘Well then, guess who controls the Hollywood.’

‘Not Jews?’

‘Obviously not. Why should the good old noble and ancient Hebrew tribe cover up for upstart Hessians? With bitter experience of Holocaust still in memory, a Jewish controlled Hollywood should hammer into memories the Hessian identity of aggressors against Scotland and America instead of decorating ex-nazis for saving a thousand innocents from Nazis.’

‘Whaw, I always thought Jews had talent for show business and therefore dominated it!’

‘Obviously that is what Hessians in Hollywood wanted you to believe.’

‘How could Britain put a Hessian in command of all allied forces and still be on the side of France and Russia?

‘And America. No parasite is without talent and deceit is foremost in all parasitic attacks. Simulate smells of the target. Mimic the colors, banners, language if possible, slogans, and ideals’

 ‘Divide into two parties and make one party allied to the target, is that it?’

‘Just about’

‘Russian Tsarina could pretend to be at war against her brother the duke of Hesse, general of Kaiser and send poor Russians to die in millions. But France! Did France swallow this?’

‘President Wilson swallowed it. Parsons swallowed it. Symes swallowed it. They all did.’

‘Scary, kind of! Can happen any time again.’

‘Does all the time. Never will a parasite put all its forces into one camp or one coalition. That is the only fixed rule in all wars brought upon this planet ever since the devil is released from its chains and reaches to all quarters of the globe.’

‘Tell me more about the supreme commander of allies’

‘Louis Battenberg…, a junior line of Hesse. Don’t bother to locate a pig farm called Battenberg on the map. It is a fictional title created for the wife of a second son of a duke of Hesse. In fact …’

He stopped. Some one had come into the café and was going to sit at the table nearest to Mr. Pedigree. The newcomer moved a chair away from the table without the slightest noise and sat there. A spook. He sniffed around as if presence of some smell bothered him but I knew better. In reality what bothered him was the missing of a smell. I knew what smell he missed. None of us present except the new comer looked like pork eaters.  Bavarian spook. No one spoke for a while. The three Orientals studied the newcomer with scientific interest until the chap became uneasy and looked towards the door. On this cue, I walked out like to stretch my legs a bit. I heard buzzing of a fly and then saw the spook waving something away to protect his console ears. Then I walked out of the café to see his back up. Spooks are never sent out alone. Sure enough, someone with the same hair cut as the Bavarian who sat near us was sitting in a car in a professionally calm way. BMW, no less. I walked direct to the car and looked inside which made him freeze uncomfortably. There were monitors and gadgets on the sit next to him. 

‘Whaw, video games’ I pointed. He did not move for a while and then, just like the chap inside the café, waved away a buzzing insect. Maybe wasps are attracted to pork smell. I walked to the next corner. None with that same hair cut. I returned to the café. No change except a bottle of beer and a glass on table of the spook. Mr. Pedigree was looking into distance through a wall. Three Orientals were studying the spook like memorizing all his features. 

‘Thanks, uncle. We will be going now. Lots of places to visit.’ I walked to the cash register, paid for our colas, motioned to my guests and walked out of the place without waiting for them to respond. Eventually they came out and we walked to the other side from that car to which I gave a look of disgust.  This alerted my guests to the evil presence and they remained behind to study it. I just walked, though at a slow pace and they joined me soon.

‘Well folks, I would like to have you as guests to my father, but it is illegal in this country to have guests without enough extra rooms in the house. The whole family could get arrested for the crime. I know you would be comfortable in the living room and blankets on the floor would serve as beds for the night, but I am very sorry, it cannot be in this free state of Bavaria. You will have to check into a hotel. To morrow, I will pick you up from the hotel and we will see more of the town. Later sometime, I will introduce you to my father.’ 

None objecting, we walked to a hotel.


	3. Hotel Illuminati Hof