Guerrielle Vertrepas - The Beginning of My Destiny





All of my life, that I can remember, I have wanted to be an Aes Sedai. When I was a child growing up in Fal Dara, Shienar, we were taught to respect Aes Sedai and to honor them. They were mysterious and powerful and many came and went from Fal Dara to help us in our battle to keep The Blight at bay.

The one I remember most is Katya Sedai, my father’s sister. She came quite often over the years to help my father and his troops. With all that she could do The Blight still claimed my three older brothers leaving me with only two. My closest brother was Ingen; he was five years older than me. We used to play “Aes Sedai and Warder” for days when we were little. We always planned to run away to the White Tower and make our dreams come true. But as time wore on and each of my older brothers died, Ingen had less and less time for me.

As I began to mature my “Auntie Sedai” started to pay more attention to me. One day she cornered me in my room. She told me a story of a great Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, who was powerful, influential, independent, and quite unorthodox. She had been born in the town of Far Madding where the One Power was unable to be felt or used without a great price. When it was found that she could channel she was packed off to the White Tower. It was all quite hush, hush. Her long life was full of adventures. She had settled disputes, stopped wars, done battle in The Blight, and even hunted down men that could channel and brought them to the Tower. It was while in The Blight that she met a man that was to become very special to her. He was an Aiel warrior that had come to The Blight to dance the spears with the Dark One. She made him her warder after she gentled him and they fought The Blight together. When he died she was very saddened. She found herself with child. Something frowned upon by the Tower, but she knew that this child would have a special purpose. A foretelling had shown it; she also knew that she would not be able to raise her daughter or even acknowledge her. So, giving her to a trusted friend, the child was taken to foster parents to be raised as their own. I loved the story and began to pretend that the little girl was I.

I became more and more brazen as I aged. I used to sneak into my Aunt’s room and when I didn’t get caught, I started to go through her belongings. I was full of myself in my surety of never having been caught, till one horrific evening. The Blight had been on the rise and my brother and a battalion of warriors had gone to meet the challenge all that returned was a small group carrying my brother on a pallet. My Aunt ran down to the courtyard, then turned to yell at me, “Guerrielle go to my room and get the silver rose pin from my trunk!!” I looked at her with shock on my face. “Do not stand there, Rielle! You know exactly where it is! Now move!” I turned and ran as if someone had put fire to my feet. Of course I knew exactly where the pin was. I had been through my Aunt’s trunk plenty of times, but how had she known? I had been so very careful to keep everything the way that I had found it.

With the pin in my possession, I ran down stairs and handed it to her. She was a very skilled healer, but alas no one can heal death. I was heartbroken. I grabbed my brother and began to cry, my Aunt took my hand and led me back to her room. “Did you wonder how I had known that you had been in my room and through my things?”

For the moment my sadness was gone. “Yes, Auntie Sedai how did you know!! I was so careful!”

“It is called a ward, it is a thing of the One Power and it lets me know when someone has disturbed my things”

“I want to know how to do this. Then my brother would be surprised when he entered my room to snoop around!!” I laughed.

“The One Power is not a toy, Rielle!! It is a tool with great responsibility attached to it.”

“Yes, Auntie Sedai” I said quietly.

A few years passed and my father decided that joining our family with another would strengthen it. I was to marry Lord Ange’s son, Katre. I left my fathers study in tears. When my brother, Ingen, found me in our secret place in the formal gardens, he tried to comfort me. “Rielle, we are not children anymore. You must do what is good for the family and the keep. We must keep The Blight at bay!”

“I could do more as an Aes Sedai than as a wife, Ingen! Don’t you remember, you were to be my warder and we were going to kill the Shadow together!! Have you forgotten everything??”

“My little Rielle, that was a game for when we were children. We are grown now and must live in the real world.”

“No! Ingen, NO! It was real! It was our dream!”

He leaned over and kissed me on my forehead. “I know that you will make the right decision my little Rielle.”

I went to my room and threw myself across my bed and cried and cried. When the last tear was gone, I sat up and thought to myself. “This is not how an Aes Sedai would act. I know better!” So I got up and packed a few things in my saddlebag. I knew that I would not need much as a novice. I wrote a note to my brother, Ingen and to my parents, then snuck down to the kitchen and grabbed some traveling fare. Saddling Moonlight, I left the keep thru the Dog Gate and went south towards Tar Valon. I knew that my Aunt would help me or at least I could request asylum in the Tower till I could be tested.

As I rode through the night, the shadows made eerie shapes. I got the feeling that I was being followed. I glanced back and one of the shadows stopped. “Don’t be afraid,” I said to myself, “An Aes Sedai cannot be afraid and you have your crossbow and knives.” I began to canter and the shadow began to canter along with me. I could hear the hoof beats. Just as the fear was about to over take me, I heard a whistle. I reined in Moonlight and waited.

“So my little Rielle, I see that you are going to force me to follow you even if I do not wish to.”

“I had prayed that you would come, Ingen. We can have our dream! No one can stop us!”

His face was sadly serious. “No, dear Rielle. A report just came in that some trollocs fists were on the move, so I came to escort you to the White Tower. I pray that our father will forgive me! But I cannot stay Rielle, I must return to Fal Dara, the family needs me.”

“No, Ingen! I want you for my warder! You must stay and train. Are you listening to me?!”

He laughed, “You have always dragged me into trouble and I have always protected you. But this one time my little Rielle, it will be as I say!”

“If you insist, Ingen.” I replied. All the while scheming in my mind how to keep him with me. It was probably because of my lack of attention, or perhaps it is as my Aunt said the will of the Wheel, that I didn’t see the trollocs till they were upon us. Ingen hit Moonlight on the rump and I shot forward.

“Run Rielle!”

I turned Moonlight, to survey a scene strait from the pit of doom. Five trollocs were circling my brother. I raised my crossbow and shot one in the eye. I began to reload, as my brother dispatched number two. The fourth one turned toward me and screaming incoherently rushed forward. As I took aim Moonlight was thrown to the ground by the third trollocs that had circled around from behind, so the bolt only hit his shoulder. Ingen dispatched the fifth trolloc after a fierce battle and moved on toward the fourth. I grabbed out my knives and stabbed at the third one as his large snarling face came down toward me. I remember the fourth trolloc falling with Ingen’s sword in his throat as the third one opened his mouth to bite me. I looked passed the trolloc to Ingen, knowing that he would save me as he had a thousand times before, and it was then that I saw two trollocs coming upon him from behind. “Noooooooo,” came my strangled gasp and then there was nothing but blackness.

When I awoke, my Aunt Katya was bending over me. I sat up, “Ingen!” Katya Sedai gently pushed me back down.

“Listen to me child.”

“Where is Ingen,” I whispered?

“I will speak and you will listen Rielle!” She commanded, and then softened it with a pat on my hand. “We are now in Lord ??? home in Fal Moran. Fellan (her warder) and I came upon you and Ingen at the end of your battle. It was quite a remarkable thing the three trollocs just stood there; Ingen stepped forward and killed the one that was biting you and then suddenly the other two jumped him. He fought valiantly Rielle, but by the time Fellan reached him………Him injuries were too great. But he told me to tell you something.”

“What?” I said through racking sobs.

“He told me to tell you that you should follow your dream no matter what and that he was proud to have been your brother and first warder.”

“What am I going to do, Auntie Sedai? I have killed him!!!”

“Hush, Rielle. Do you remember the story I used to tell you as a child Rielle? The one about the special little girl?”

“Yes”

“Well that story was true. You are that little girl, Rielle, and now you will go to the Tower and fulfill the destiny that the Wheel will weave for you.”

This was not the last sorrow I was to know, but it was the first sacrifice of someone I loved in my quest for my destiny and the Will of the Wheel.