Forever in Love - by Toria

"What went wrong Jenn?" The question was spoken so quietly that she didn't know for sure if it was even spoken.

Where do I start, she wondered to herself.

Jenna grew up as Leslie Brenden, in Pittsburgh. Her childhood was not a happy one, but not for the reasons that effected most of the girls who found their way to The Shelter of Hope. Leslie's parents weren't drug addicts or alcoholics. They didn't beat her. She was feed, clothed and educated.

The only thing missing from her childhood was love. There was no love shared between her parents. She never felt any love from either parent to her. She never found out why there was no love.

There were no rules to follow. No curfews. No one asked who her friends were. No one checked her homework, attended school functions or her high school graduation.

When she moved out after high school she would come by for a visit once a week for the first few months. Then it tapered off to once a month and eventually she just stopped visiting.

She kept track of her parents by checking the obituaries on the internet. Her father died in 1992 and her mother in 1994. She tried to mourn their deaths but she felt no sorrow for their passing.

While her mind raced back to her childhood Gil sat up and looked at her. He spoke again, "Was it me Jenn, did I do something?"

She couldn't believe he would even think something like that. She loved him with all heart and soul. He was the first person that ever showed any genuine affection for her.

After he sat up, she got up and put on the bathrobe that she had been wearing earlier in the day. Gil put his pants and torn shirt back on. He turned off the music and turned on a low beam lamp. He sat in
the corner of his couch waiting patiently for her to explain what went wrong.

Jenna paced the room before joining him on the couch. She sat an arms length from him. She turned to face him. "No Gil, you didn't do anything wrong. You were my whole world. You gave me more love in the time we were together than I had ever experience in my whole life."

Then she told him about her childhood.

As bad as her childhood was, the events that occurred after she left home are what formed her destiny.

She continued with her story. He listened without judging her.

When she moved out of her parent's home, her roommate was Kathy Duncan. Leslie liked Kathy because she knew how to have a good time, but Kathy was ambitious. She wanted to be rich. Very, very rich.
It was only after Leslie was in way too deep that she found out that Kathy didn't care what it took to reach her goal.

After they were rooming together, for about 6 months, Kathy started to see a man named Marcus Madden the president of Madden Enterprises. The company was involved in the import-export business. Leslie was told that he imported and exported diamonds and other gems. Madden and Kathy were always traveling out of the country together. Madden even hired Leslie to do courier work for him.

The work at Madden Enterprises paid well. Kathy and Leslie were able to move out of their one bedroom apartment into a bigger three bedroom apartment.

Madden was a smooth talker. After Leslie worked for him for a few months, she realized that she did not like him. He made her uncomfortable. She also felt that he was cruel to Kathy.

One day Leslie went to Kathy and told her that she was going to move out of their apartment and she was quitting her courier position. Kathy begged her to stay. Leslie sensed fear in Kathy's plea, and so
out of loyalty to her friend, she agreed to stay awhile longer.

As a courier for Madden Enterprises, Leslie was required to travel. Most of her trips were to Miami, Florida. Once while on a trip to Miami, she was arrested. This is when she found out what Madden was
importing and exporting.

Madden Enterprises was a front for multiple illegal activity, including laundering drug money and exporting counterfeit money. Leslie felt like such a fool. She realized that Madden had been using her and Kathy.

The FBI knew that Leslie Brenden was just a pawn in Madden Enterprises.   As a result, they offered her a deal. They wouldn't prosecute her if she helped them get evidence against Madden and other members of his organization.

They also offered to set her up in a whole new life. They would relocate her somewhere that Madden or his associates would never find her. She agreed. A new life sounded wonderful to Leslie. After all, what did she have with the life she had been living?

Leslie was instructed to make copies of as many documents as she could. She also kept track of who came and went at Madden Enterprises. The most dangerous and damaging thing of all was that she recorded conversations Madden had with his business associates.

After only 4 months Leslie had gathered enough information that the FBI was able to make their arrests. With Leslie's testimony both Madden and 4 of his top aides were convicted of various crimes from
tax fraud, to drug smuggling, to money laundering and counterfeiting.

One of the most painful parts of all this is that Kathy was also convicted. Through Leslie's pleading, Kathy was charged with only counterfeiting, a conviction that carried a minimum sentence of 5
years in jail.

During her testimony Leslie was kept in a safe-house, due to threats that she had received. As soon as the conviction was rendered, she was sent away.

That is how Jenna Tappen ended up in Los Angles in 1980.

The FBI set her up in a modest apartment. They made arrangements for her first year rent to be paid. They also provided her with a two-year scholarship to attend UCLA. She attended classes during the day
and in the evening she worked in the maintenance department.

It was while doing the maintenance work, which was basically cleaning up the classrooms, that she first noticed Gil Grissom. He was one of the assistant instructors. He would work late in the science lab. He was always there when Jenna came into clean. She would greet him and he would politely answer her in return, but he was always too busy with whatever he was working on, to really notice her.

Then, by chance, she met him at the campus cafeteria. He was reading some papers when he walked into the tray she was carrying, causing the soup and salad to spill all over her.

He was so embarrassed by the mess that was made. She tried to assure him that it was okay. He asked what he could do to make it up to her and she suggested he take her out to dinner.

Tonight, she told him for the first time, that he didn't walk into her. It was a set up. She was waiting for him. She walked in front of him with the intention that he would knock the tray out of her hands. Didn't he wonder why she wasn't burnt by the soup?

"No, I never thought about it. I was more embarrassed to have caused such a scene in front of so many people." Then he laughed to himself, realizing that today that would have been one of the first things he would notice. Why wasn't the victim burned by the soup?

"What are you thinking Gil?"

"That our relationship was a lie?" he asked flatly.

"No Gil, please don't think that. Everything that happened from the minute the tray hit the floor was real. That's when Jenna Tappen was born," she assured him. "Everything that happened from that minute until I wrote you that letter, was an honest relationship. I kept no secrets from you, except who I was."

The letter. He read it over and over until he finally tore it into pieces and threw it in the trash.

`Dear Gil,

I'm sorry to tell you this, but I have decided to leave and I won't be coming back. Please don't come looking for me. Our relationship really wasn't intended to last forever. I hope you
find someone that will love you more than I did.

Good bye, Jenna.'

"When I saw you yesterday." She paused realizing that they have only been reunited for twenty-four hours. "Oh my gosh Gil, it seems like we've been together again for a lifetime, but it's only been twenty-four hours." She shook her head in disbelief. Then she continued. "When I saw you yesterday. I didn't know how you were going to react. I expected you to be angry and lash out at me and I would have deserved it. But, when you kissed me…." She couldn't continue. A lump of emotion lodged in her throat. "When you kissed me…I, I… Oh Gil, I'm so sorry I hurt you." And then she started to cry. "I love you. I have loved you forever." She buried her face in her hands and for the first time since the night she left him, she cried.

Gil slid over and put his arms around her. He rocked her, telling her that all that matters is that they were together now. She held onto his arm, not wanting to let go.

Finally she was able to stop crying. Their was still more story to be told. She still hadn't told him what caused her to leave. After a few minutes in his arms, Jenna turned to face him again. She kissed him on the cheek. "I can go on now."

He reached out and cupped her hands between his, "Jenna if you don't want to go on right now, it can wait."

"No, you've waited long enough. I want to tell you everything."

"Everything was going so well. We were happy weren't we?" she asked him for reassurance.

"Very," he said as he kissed her hands.

She took a deep breath and continued, "One of Marcus' men found me. He saw me working at the bookstore."

Jenna had switched jobs and was working at an off campus bookstore. "It turns out that he had been watching me for a few days and had followed me home to our place. He approached me one day. He knew all about us. He told me that he had been in contact with Marcus and Kathy. Kathy said she was anxious to renew our friendship, so he gave her our address. He also said that Kathy said that as long as she couldn't be with the man that she loved, then there was no reason that I should be with anyone either. I called the FBI right away. They insist I leave. They said that Madden was causing all sorts of trouble in jail and that Kathy had tried to escape and was making threats. They said that staying would not be safe for either you or me. They gave me 24 hours to get things together."

"That's when I was moved to the shelter." She told him.