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(Super Monkey Death-Ray)


It has come to my attention that I am neither 16 feet tall nor am I a goatfarmer. I know this comes as a shock to some of you and perhaps as a devastating blow to your very existence to others. Trust me, I feel the pain too. The field I once stood proud in has apparently never existed. I am crying as I write this. Each tear falling like a noble warrior fighting his last battle. What will the world do without a champion goatfarmer? Can I rebuild my goatfarming empire, or will I vanish from the radar screen like a plane...vanishing from a radar screen? I want to be like Captain Sprinkles and sprinkle joy onto all the little people in the world. And then, like Bongo, I want to smash their little skulls. Fuck the midgets. Sure people pick on them a lot, but I mean it. What the fuck is a midget good for anyway? The only possible use I can see is if I want someone to check my asshole for lint without having to bend down. But as you may know, I care not whether people bend down.

(Munchkins on Patrol)

I'm pretty like a fox

Captain Sexual | Muffins | Resume | Links | Intergalactic Booty Patrol