The nurse went and got the supplies needed for the delivery. When she got back, she told me I could start pushing. I was able to feel the urge to push, and I could feel a slight pressure with each contraction on my left side, since I had been laying on my right side for over an hour, and the epidural medicine had mostly settled in my right side. As my sister videotaped each push, Ben was my labor coach, and encouraged me to push with each contraction. The nurse stretched open my vagina, and I held my knees back and pushed. I believe it was after only one or two pushes that they could see her hair. The nurse turned off my epidural and said it wouldn't wear off for two hours. I was scared that the pushing phase might last longer than that, so I pushed with all of my strength. After 20 minutes of pushing, they said I had accomplished what most women need 2 hours to accomplish. I asked to see Lily's hair in a mirror, but the nurse warned me that there may be things I don't want to see. I still wanted the mirror, and when I got it, I wished I had listened to the nurse's warning. Now I was scared to continue pushing so hard. Dr. Chai showed up, and she told me she understood I had a birth plan in which I asked to not have an episiotomy. I explained, I didn't want a routine episiotomy for no reason, but if there was a good reason to have one, I was ok with it. Well she said I needed one, because I was already starting to tear a little bit. So I asked to have a local painkiller. The doctor explained they don't give a local painkiller to someone who already has an epidural. But I was scared of being cut open, and I insisted, so she gave me the local painkiller. She didn't give me the episiotomy right away. Instead it happened without warning, as I was pushing. The pressure was very painful, and I could still feel the episiotomy (which I thought was me ripping). After a scream of pain, I heard everyone saying her head was out. With the next push and another scream, she came out. The whole pushing phase only lasted 30 or 40 minutes. They put her on my stomach, and I immediately noticed how much she looked like Ben. She had a lot of black hair, and black eyes. Her skin looked almost the same color as Ben's skin, but the next morning was much lighter. They took her to a little table across the room, and I couldn't see what they were doing to her. While that happened, the doctor stitched me up with about a zillion stitches that went all the way back to my bottom, and then I delivered the placenta, which hurt, but not too bad. After they cleaned Lily up and had cleared her lungs of meconium, they handed her to me, and my family came in to see her. When everyone crowded around her and talked loudly, I could tell she was scared, and she started crying. So I said I needed to feed her, and everyone left. She was born hungry, and I breast fed her for a long time. I soon found out, she was 8 pounds 5 ounces and 18 and a half inches long. Ben went with Lily and a nurse to the nursery to take photos of her first bath. As my epidural wore off, the hemorrhoids from pushing were so painful, it felt like Lily was still coming out of me. The stitches were nothing compared to the hemorrhoids. They moved me to the mother/baby recovery room around 1am or 2am, and Ben brought me dinner from Del Taco and went home shortly after that. It was a very painful night, and I asked the nurse to take Lily to the nursery for one feeding period, so I could have 4 hours to sleep and recover. The next morning they brought her back to me, and Ben showed up soon after that. Some of my relatives came to visit me that day. Lily was a very peaceful baby that day. However, that night, after evryone left, Lily breastfed for about an hour and 20 minutes, and my nipples were so sore, I couldn't continue. She started to cry when I stopped the feeding, and I began to cry from frustration and pain. I called the nurse and asked them to take her to the nursery to give her some formula, and to bring her back in the morning. I didn't get much sleep that night, because I was still in so much pain, and I just got a roommate who wanted to keep the light on all night. The next morning, my nipples were still sore, so I asked the nurse to give me a bottle to feed Lily with. From that point onward I began giving her formula as well as breastfeeding her with each feeding, to avoid sore nipples, and to make sure she would get enough to eat. Ben drove me and Lily home that morning (the 22nd). Lily is doing well, and she's the cutest baby in the whole world.
Thanks for reading!
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