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| My Mom's Story |
I would like to tell you about my mom, Karen. She was born on January 14, 1952 in Amarillo, TX. My mom was only 47 the day she died on January 5, 2000. When I think about the things I wish I had done with my mom---the first thing that comes to mind is spending a day at a spa with my mom. She never pampered herself and she always worked hard and never had nice hands or nails. Oh how I wish I would have bought her a day of beauty and let her be treated like a queen. I would also try not to be so judgmental with her. I wish she would have opened up and talked with me about her feelings so that I could have better understood her. My mom was never religious, however, we believe she was searching for Jesus during her last months of life. We found many clues such as a Jesus video, religious e-mails, and a Bible. A church had dropped of a video about Jesus and normally my mom would have sent the tape home with my nephew or never opened it. My nephew said they watched it several times together and her neighbor said he saw it in the VCR a few times. In her important paper work she left out for us the day she died we found an e-mail that talked about a woman who was making funeral arrangements with her preacher. She wanted him to put a fork in her hand because at all the church dinners they told her to keep her fork because desert was coming and she wanted people to ask about the fork and he was to tell them that she had lived a good life, but the best was yet to come. We had this read at her memorial service. My mom's home was severely vandalized and she had to move all her belongings to a storage and she lived in her lake trailer which was very small while she was having a home built. We were very surprised to find a Bible she had forever on the premises considering she lacked storage and was unable to bring many belongings from her home to her trailer. We feel she found Jesus and felt he would bring her the peace she needed and so she went to be with him. This thought helped us get through her death in the beginning. My mom loved antiques, birdhouses and gardening stuff. She would rummage through old abandoned homes looking for "treasures". Last summer she broke her foot trying to drag a very very heavy old creamer from an abandoned old house. My mom liked going to auctions and garage sales. I enjoyed doing this with her until she wouldn't even stop to let us eat lunch. She was relentless in her quest for antiques. I remember when I first got out of college I moved to a small town about and hour and 20 minutes from home and I was very homesick. My mom and I became very close during this time. I would visit her and she would visit me all the time. Our most memorable holiday was the New Year’s Eve my nephew, Austin, was born. Austin was one of the best things that ever happened to my mom. Life was difficult for my mom while she was young. She was forced to drop out of high school . She got her GED when I was young and went back to college when I was about 12 yrs old. She made all A’s while going to school full time and taking care of me and my sister by herself with little money. My mom and dad divorced when I was 5 yrs old. My dad was very abusive and even shot my mother when she was 3 months pregnant with me. I can vividly remember the times he beat her and I am so thankful she finally got brave enough to divorce him. She remarried when I was about 14 years old to a really good guy. They dated for 2 years before that. They eventually divorced when I was 18 because he was from Iowa and really wanted to go back home and she wanted to stay in Texas. I am sure there are other issues but geography played a big role in their divorce. We were all devastated, especially my mom. My mom had me when she was 18 years old and 5 years later she had my sister, Kim. My sister has 2 boys and I have one boy. My mom helped raise my sister's oldest child, Austin, for a while and they were very very very close. He often spent time with his grandma and loved her very much. He was her world. She had his picture with her when she died. In the beginning it made me wonder how she could die knowing she was leaving Austin behind. I now know she couldn't live for anyone--not even Austin. My mother loved to garden, she had the greenest thumb I have ever seen. In fact, vegetation would grow for my mom that she didn't even plant. She turned her lake place form a yucca plant and weed filled lot to a paradise. She built a pond there that is the location of my favorite picture in the world. My mom holds my son in her lap while my nephew, Trent, stands in the pond. The picture makes me think of peace so I had it professionally painted as a memorial for her. My mom tried very hard to do the best she could for us. She managed to raise us by herself and I never remember wanting for anything even though I am sure there were times she didn't have much money to support us. The things I disliked about my mom the most were her moodiness, her smoking and she often drank too much. Oh---and her bad choices in boyfriends!!!!! My mom had so many special talents. She could do anything. She could cook, sew, garden, craft, fix a car, remodel a home, be an electrician, plumber, painter, etc. I can honestly say there is nothing my mother could not do. My mom taught me to always be able to take care of yourself because you can't always depend on someone else to do it. My mother learned the hard way to become very strong, independent and self- sufficient. Others will always remember my mom as beautiful, intimidating, strong, strong willed and the life of the party. No man could out do her--believe me they would try. She could beat them in fishing, working, playing, etc. (and sometimes drinking unfortunately). What might surprise you about my mom is that even though my dad didn't help her with us and he almost killed her, she agreed to care for one of his sons (he is famous for having babies and then never seeing them again) by another woman. However by the time she talked to him to tell him she would do it--he had already shipped his son off to Nebraska. I have never seen this little boy again. He was only 1 yr old and I was 9. She also drove my sister and I to Oklahoma in her travel trailer about 5 years ago so we could see my dad for the first time in over 13 years. His dad was dying and he told us where my dad lived. No one would ever tell us before. I can tell you it was not worth the gas and time to go and see him. My mom was all I had and she was all I ever needed in a parent. I am very sad she is gone and everyday I wish I could talk with her. I hope she is able to look in on me and my sister and see that she did a good job raising us and feel proud. If she can look down on her grandsons then I know she is smiling everyday because they bring so much joy. |
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