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| The Family Bed |
| The family bed is a radical theory to many. Also, to those who practice it is a wonderful theory. The family bed is just what it sounds like, a bed for the whole family. The family bed is the natural practice of an entire family sleeping together. A few generations ago this was the norm, it's only been recently that it is not. Also, in nature it is only natural for a mother to sleep with brood, you do not see cats making a nest for them and then one for their offspring. However, complete families sleeping in one bed raises for many questions about sexual abuse. Most people who were sexually abused report the abuse happening in their own bed, not a family bed. There is no connection between a parent sleeping in the same bed with their child/children and sexual abuse. Many people claim the family bed reduces risk of SIDs and other failure to thrive deaths. Should you choose to have a family bed there are some ways to prepare. Place your matress directly on the floor and if your little one begins to roll off you can use mesh rails. Do not give a child a pillow until they are at least a year old, and be sure your pillow is positoned well above your baby's head level. Some families share blankets, however this can cause problems like blanket hogging, or someone on top of the covers sealing you in so some families have sperate blankets for everyone. Nursing your baby in the family bed is easy, and you don't even have to get up to do it. Some people are afraid of rolling over on their babies, but this rarely if ever happens. When you are asleep you are concious of your surroundings, think about it, have you ever been awakened just by someone just walking in your room? Soon you and your baby will become used to each other. If however you taking sleeping drugs, other drugs, or drink alcohol your awareness will be dimmed and it is not a good idea at all to sleep with your baby. Some people put pillows in between their children to ensure they do not pile ontop of each other during the night. In many families the father sleeps alone is a seperate bed or with the older children. You will have to decide what works for you if this is the path you chose to take. Most families who practice the family bed all go to sleep together. Also, to wean children out of the family bed some parents recommend putting a sperate bed at the foot of the family bed or somewhere else in the room. This is certainly a method, however your child will tell you when he or she is ready for their own bed. Your children won't sleep in your bed forever! With a family bed it raises the question of what about sex. Everyone knows a healthy realtionship and marriage involves sex, so where does sex fit into the family bed. Of course, you could always be quiet and make love after everyone is alseep but some couples just find this distasteful. If this is the case, who says sex has to be in the bedroom? Experiment, what about the shower or the floor or even kitchen table? Have a hammock, a sofa or a guestbed? Why not there? A family bed does not mean abstinence. |