Sacred Place and Sacred Space Etiquette

In Church, Temple, Mosque, Circle, and Else Sacred Places

       Perhaps you have never attended any one of these places; then you will need some help in order to conduct yourself apporiately. Or perhaps you've just not been in awhile. Maybe you'd just like some general tips someone should have taught you. For whatever reason this section will cover what to do, what not to do, and other little tidbits that are signs of good breeding in a sacred place situation. Following these simple rules, or guidelines rather, not only will help you fit in but ensure that you are showing proper respect in a place of worship.

         The First thing I'm going to cover is apporiate dress in a house of worship. Do not wear jeans, atheletic wear, sweats, or Leather, or vinyl aside from that found on your belt, shoes, handbag, or possibly jacket. Costumes that are distracting and revealing evening dresses, or revealing clothing at all, should be avoided also. Be sure you are not wearing more than one dress at a time or plastic jewelry; ecspecially that which glows. Halter tops, shorts, excessively short mini skirts, extremely low cut tops, and t-shirts aren't apporiate either. If you are attending a pagan circle that practices skyclad, then obviously the dress code will be, nude, however I've never heard of this being required and respectful dress is just fine if you don't feel comfortable in the buff (and I don't blame you especially if it is an outdoors circle! Twigs and sensative exposed skin; OUCH!).
         Most religious services begin at regularly scheduled times. This being said, you should be aware of this time beforehand and try very hard to arrive on time, if not a few minutes early. If you cannot make it to a service ontime despite taking proper care then be subtle in your entrance and do not interrupt the worship service already going on. Sometimes there are proper procedures for those who arrive late and if there is an usher or someone simliar let them direct you as to what to do. Be aware that by coming to a religious service you are making the commitment to stay for the WHOLE service. You cannot leave during it unless you have a loud crying baby, are deathly/vomiting ill, have gone into labour, or some other sort of unplanned, unexpected, and extremely pressing emergency. Most religious services, and all that Ihave ever attended, have some sort of signal of dismisle and closing. This is when the service is over, it is not until this time that you may leave. Once you are released from the service leave in an orderly fashion.
          Communion and similar ceremonies are common to most religions. When partaking of such ceremonies first do not be in a rush to be first or any such thing. It's unlikely that there will not be enough for you and running to be the first is terribly rude. Be slow and orderly and return to your place/seat in a likewise fashion. Remember where you were before hand and return to that place, if you don't you will displace other people and cause confusion.
           When at such a service, or any where in public where you are with a group of people, DO NOT try to take up as much space as you can. This is terribly rude and you won't win anything. If you should for some reason move or have to leave try very hard not to disturb the people around you, this too is very rude.
          It's also not such a wonderful idea to make up your own responses to the service; even if yours are better, more catchy, witty. If it is not your religion, or you are otherwise unsure of the responses to the service don't say anything, simply be respectful. You could also try to say what the person next to you says or even check to see if there is a card or book somewhere that has the service and apporiate responses. The very best method for knowing what to say and do is of course, to check and see what everyone else is doing and/or saying and fashion your behavouir accordingly. Be as unobtrusive, respectful, solemn, and quiet as possible. Incidently it is horribly rude to sing loudly from your seat with a church choir; ecspecially if you neither know the words or the general tune of the song. This is made even worse if you know you cannot sing and are making no real effort to
          Generally, one should be quiet in a worship service. Talking to one's neighbour or passing notes or anything else during a service is terribly rude. You are interupting them, and in the case of speaking, everyone around you. Also, under no circumstance should you bring a pet to a worship service unless you have been explicitly told it is okay to do so; preferably by a person in charge. First and foremost, with pets and large crowds of people there are health concerns, perhaps the person who will be next to you for the whole, or most of the service, is allergic to Fluffy or, heaven forbid, terrified of the animal. There may be small children who are allergic, frigthened, or simply smaller than your pet and their parents would no doubt not appreciate having to deal with such a situaltion. It's also a good bet that pets aren't welcome at indoor services (IE a Catholic Mass). Public displays of affection are also not apporitate in this kind of situation; during the service unless it happens to be your wedding. Hand holding and exchanging affectionate glances are things you can easily get by with, as well as sitting together, it's not good taste to make out during a worship service or do any of that kind of thing. Also, in the case of Catholic chruchs, you should NOT make sexual advances toward the priest nor any nuns; these people are CELIBATE and have dedicated their lives to their beliefes your advances are most unexcused and show lack of respect for them as people. It's also unwise to arrive to a worship service in a drunken state. Nor should you arrive with snacks and/or drinks in tow for during the service. If you attend some kind of worship service which directly afterwards a potluck meal is served by all means, bring your dish, but if this is not the case you should have NO food or beverage with you. Headphones are inapporiate to wear during a service too. Sometimes things can be dry and unpleasant but this is exteremly rude. Cell phones and pagers should be turned off as soon as you enter the sacred place. You should never make or recieve a call on your cell phone, or answer a page, during a worship service. If you must be rude and have them with you at least turn on the vibrate/light non-ringing option so you will not disturb other people with your lack of respect; and should you choose to do this you must LEAVE the service entirely to answer that call/page and most likely should you leave in the middle won't be able to get back in.

          I know many pagan teens, and a few adult pagans, who have some problems with attending chuches of other faiths (ecspecially Christian chruches). It's not because they do not like the people or dislike Christians usually but simply because being pagan in this situation causes some uncomfortable situations to arise. First and foremost, if you are in this situation follow ALL the guidelines above; churches are much more formal than Circles and other Pagan gatherings in my experince. Next, perhaps the people you are attending church with are your parents or grandparents, or maybe even a really insistant friend, regardless; this is NOT the place to make annoucments to everyone you are a pagan. Christianity and Paganism are generally at odds with each other theologically and such a statement will very likely offend many people. You are in their sacred place, attending their worship, and therefore should respect their beliefes and their right to practice their religion in peace. Would you really appreciate it if a Christian friend or family member came to your Circle and annoucned that they were Christian and this is not how they do things; I wouldn't. Also, if you wear a pentacle or any other easily recognisable pagan symbol either do not wear it or tuck it into your clothing out of site. Once again, this becomes a respect issue; for whoever brought you there and those worshiping there. Plus, having such things in plain site could get you in a bit of hot water with more devout or evangelical types. Please refrain from making dergotory and disrespectful statements like "Ah, the Bible, greatest propaganda ever written" and "Satan's not real" while you are in the Chruch. Respect! Be respectful of their religion; you don't have to like it, believe it, or even go (unless someone is forcing you, in which case a good heart to heart with them and honesty may be a good way to go) so should you chose to RESPECT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE WORSHIPING THERE! (I can't stress it enough; I realise I'm shouting.) Aside from all these things, and keeping in mind a respectful attitude, you should be just fine.