Well, it's been over a year on testosterone. Things have changed so much in the past year. Yesterday, I heard my voice on the answering machine and was shocked! It didn't sound like me! My voice was so deep!! I have a little blonde goatee thing I am trying to grow. Most people don't notice it unless I point it out. All of my facial hair is blonde. As for chest surgery, I had to spend my savings when I got a new apartment (when I moved out of Sara's). So, I am back at square one and am now planning on surgery during the spring of 2004. Hopefully.
It's been about 5 months on T. The changes are more than I could ask for. I wake up every morning looking in the mirror, staring at the little bit of blonde facial hair I have. This month I am getting my estrogen and testosterone levels checked. If all is well, I am going to ask Korff if I can up my dose to either 90 or 100mg every week. I also made an appointment with Dr. Kristin Stueber of Springfield, MA for my chest surgery consultation (June 11, 2003). I can't wait. Once surgery is all done, I can change all of my legal documents to male. I am hoping that I can get my hysto done the same time as my top surgery. So, by the end of this coming summer, I will be legally male in the State of Rhode Island. My Dad called me on m cell phone the other day and asked for Kevin. I was like "Yeah, this is me, Dad." He didn't even recognize my voice. It made me smile.
A little over 2 months on T. For the full 8 weeks I was on 120mg every 2 weeks... going to Dr. Chipkin's office for the injections. I had some problems with Chipkin, so I found a new endo, Dr. Korff, in Northampton, MA. He is a wonderful guy. I had my first appointment with him today. He increased my dose to 80mg every week (because I said I wanted to increase my dose and he agreed). And we decided for me to inject every week so that my mood is more stable. I am happy with Dr. Korff. He is like the complete opposite of Chipkin. He has this voice that is soothing and calming... like he can relate to you as a person, and that you have choices in your treatment. Family stuff is getting... better... kind of. :-/ I have also begun a new diet/exercise program to start getting ready for top surgery.
It has been 4 weeks on T!! Woo hoo! I haven't really noticed any changes yet. All of my hormone and surgery related transition pictures and desriptions are going to be added here from now on. In other news, my family isn't doing so well. So, I've decided to push them away until we figure our "issues" out. It was a hard decision, but it was something I had to do. My family is making my transition harder (and more stressful) than it should be. I should be happy and excited about everything. So... we'll see...
Today is T Day!! I received my first injection of testosterone today. The initial dose is 120mg of Delatestryl (testosterone enanthate) every 2 weeks. After 2 months, if all is well, I will increase my dose. I haven't been this excited in ages! I can't wait for changes. Sara and I took some pre-T pictures and measurements to have something to compare to later. This is one of the most exciting days on my life. I am not a boy anymore. Today, I begin puberty to become a man.
Last week I had my very first endo appointment. Dr. Chipkin is all the way up in Sprinfield, so Sara and I took the whole morning off to drive up there for the appointment. Everything went well and I am good to go. Today I went to get my bloodwork done. As soon as the test results come back, I can start testosterone. It usually takes about 2-3 weeks for the doctor to get the results. So, I am hoping that within the month I will start. *sigh* Wow.
Wow. Things are happening so fast. I am really excited about them. I have my initial endocrinologist appointment on September 4, 2002. All my blood work and stuff will be taken. My T letter is in the process of being written. On August 30, I have 2 therapy sessions with Diane Ellaborn, LICSW. She is a big time trans therapist in this area. David always sends all of his trans clients to her for a second opinion. So, things are on their way and I am super happy about them!
David and I talked about setting up an appointment to see an endo. We talked about the effects of testosterone and all that jazz. He said that I am "definitely a candidate for hormone therapy" and that there is no reason for him to not write my letter for me. Yes, yes, yes!!! :-)
My name has legally been changed to Kevin Laine. This is a big day for me and the beginning of my transition. My birth certificate will also be changed to Kevin... even though the sex will still say "female." I am more than excited to start changing all of my documents over to Kevin. This is the first step of many that will follow. Even though I started seeing David (my gender therapist) a little while ago... I still have a little while longer before I start T. This is a big day and I completely and truly happy.
I left for the weekend to visit my buddy Stephen in Maine on Friday afternoon. When I left, I dropped the letter off to my parents. I was a wreck that weekend... nervous about what to come home to on Sunday. Would they embrace me and tell me that they still loved me? Or would all of my stuff be out on the front lawn when I got back?
Of course, neither one happened. My Mom acknowledged that they got the letter... but, that's all. We talked for no more than 5-10 minutes. She said she could see it coming. Soon after, all of my siblings got a letter. Rich said he loved me and we talked. Rachael said she would tell me when she was ready to talk. And Rob didn't say anything. At least I didn't get kicked out of my house. *shrug*
True Spirit Conference 2001. Stephen and I took a nice long bus trip down to DC. Fun stuff. I wasn't out as trans yet, but I was already questioning my gender and knew that I wasn't a "girl." I met so many FTMs and genderqueers. It was amazing! And from that weekend on, I knew. It was still hard to figure out who I was... but, with all the support and information I got from True Spirit... I had the will to come out to myself as transgendered. I was 100% positive from that weekend on. But it wasn't until that summer that I came out to any of my friends.