| Title = Contemplation Warnings = Is depression in a robot possible? Author = Harliquinn Contemplation Is there a point to all this? Was there some law that makes me have to stay? I already know the answer to that one, I could just walk away leave the Matrix where I'm sitting and walk out the door. Then what? I'm still an Autobot, it's there imprinted onto my main circuits and armour I can't run away from it. But what if I stay am I denying the Autobot's the opportunity to thrive? If I go will it mean their demise, either way I can't win. But what about when he comes back? The true person who owns this matrix, not some cocky teenager just keeping it warm, I shouldn't even be here, I should be on the scrap heap where I belong, after all I'm responsible, I'm the one that killed Optimus Prime. Why oh why should some spoilt little brat be leader of the Autobots' I know what they're saying, I hear them and I know I was responsible I'm admitting the fact that I should not be here, after all I didn't earn the place, I don't need this type of responsibility on my own guilt. Beeping distracts my attention momentarily, can't they see that I don't want to be disturbed, it's lonely at the top and the least they could do is give you some damned privacy, I haven't earnt that yet either so I am pretty buggered. Deciding to ignore it is the next best thing I can do, I'm not in the mood to put on some sort of 'caring about other peoples problems' facade that get's me nowhere and just as much abuse. Don't worry I know that Optimus is coming back soon, then I can perhaps leave disappear...as if anybody will miss this hotshot that should have been deactivated ages ago but due to sods law wasn't. Soon though, soon I can disapear into the crowds and not have to worry about being found again. Oh damn that insesent beeping why can't you leave me alone, What i snap loudly thinking how mad I was, I got a mild piece of stuttering before someone apologises and leaves the channel, well what a waste of time that was. I wonder if feelings change after a while? End personal log Well it's been several months and my feelings still haven't changed, but Optimus has returned, I can finaly give up the stress of just being here, I can leave...I'm free. Shaking my head as there is a knock on the door, it's a shame really, apparently Optimus had to go through some sort of medical scans and reinitialization into the Autobot faction just to make sure he didn't do another quint thing. Now that was a pain, the first time I thought I was free and I wasn't because of some quint trick, I'd love to pull all there tenticles off and wrap them several times around their own necks, but unfortunately due to moral ethics I can't. The knock is followed by the door swooshing open, why can't people leave me alone, unfortunately just before I got up to yell at the person coming into my office without a reason I realise who it actually is.....non other then Optimus Prime. Sir I stutter inanely, before opening up my chest cavity taking the thing out of my chest and giving it to Optimus Prime, then I slowly shrink back to my usual size and just walk out. Walk out there forevever. However just before I leave the area I hear muttering about wierdness on my behalve from Optimus, if only he really knew, but I can't tell him, too damn personal. |