| Musical M*A*S*H By Kling Did you ever have a very strange thought just appear in your brain? One of the thoughts I had like that was that people often are a lot like the instruments they play. Lately, I have been trying to match M*A*S*H people with instruments. Here’s what I came up with. I see Hawkeye as a trumpet. The noise is normally loud and noticeable, like Hawkeye is usually loud and noticeable. Trumpets sometimes are fast and energetic, they don’t seem to ever want to stop. Sometimes though, trumpets and slow, mournful and sad. Especially near death, Hawkeye gets emotional and upset. In my view, both Trapper and BJ are saxophones. I picture the saxophone as the most easygoing instrument. It is sometimes loud and noticeable, holding the focus of your attention. A lot of the time, it is also in the background, but it always seems to be there. If you think about it, the two are a whole lot alike. To me, Henry is sort of a trombone. Trombones always seem to be in the background of things. For a minute, they might have the melody and be in charge, but they always fade away behind other instruments. Colonel Potter appears as a drum. He is steady, like a drum keeps a steady beat. A drum helps to keep other instruments on beat, like Colonel Potter helps soldiers stay on track. He also keeps the 4077th on its feet. Frank reminds me a suspended cymbal. Personally, suspended cymbals annoy me when they get loud. Frank can be really annoying when he gets loud. Suspended cymbals get loud for a second, and then just take up space. Doesn’t that remind you of Frank? Charles seems to be a French horn. French horns seem to be high class, almost snobbish instruments. They are sometimes loud and overpower other instruments. Margaret could definitely be a flute. Sometimes flutes sound sweet and happy. Other times, flutes are sharp and harsh. This is like Margaret, who is fickle with moods, she is joyful one second and harsh the next. Radar, like Colonel Potter, also reminds me of a drum. He sometimes seemed to be the backbone of the outfit. Drums also sometimes seem to be the backbone of bands (scary, isn’t it?). Father Mulcahy seems like a clarinet. Clarinets are usually in the background, though they do have their many times of melody. They never seem to stop, just like Father Mulcahy. You don’t seem to often notice clarinets when they are there, but you always notice when they aren’t there. That is the way Father Mulcahy seems to be. Last, but not least, we have Klinger. Klinger is definitely strange, so I guess he is sort of an oboe or bassoon. Those instruments stand out in a crowd. People always seem to say, “What is that thing?” That is the way Klinger is. When someone visits the 4077th, they say, “What is that thing outside on sentry duty?” Now that you know my view of M*A*S*H personnel as instruments, picture them together. They make an odd sort of band, but with an okay sound. Just like at M*A*S*H 4077, the people seem very odd, but work well together. This “essay” shows what happens when a strange thought appears in your mind!!! |
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