| Wild and Crazy Rhyming Poems |
| MASH was a show of the best stars Soldiers came in battered and marred Anything could be wrong even bodies charred The wounded came in by chopper or car To the 4077 surgeons over 90% was par Hawkeye is always there because he is the star I can't think of a character named Lamar My favorite character is played by Jamie Farr The characters like the O. Club becuse it is a bar Henry caught many fish, even garr Their coffee was just like tar Spalding sometimes played the guitar Some can't see the movie 'cuz it's rated R MASH is the best show ever by far As it was, will be, or are Even if you throw it in any jar -Kling |
| BJ made Charles think he was fat Henry always wore the same hat A soldier came in holding a cat The cat probably ate gnats It also might have had rats They were near 38 degrees lat. Potter would always give a pat When they drank they stood or sat Morale and happiness didn't fill a vat The craziness was funny, there was that Klinger liked the Mudhens at bat I can't think of a character named Matt -Kling |
| Just after all of the heads were downward laid So that sleep would soon be made Wounded came in, needing aid To stay awake, surgeons drank lemonaide As they begged for payment in jade The light began to fade As the grim reaper bade -Kling |
| The sun at M*A*S*H rarely ever shined About conditions people always whined Millions of letters were written and signed The people wined and dined, more often wined M*A*S*H isn't a show, it's a state of mind Over $3000 Hawkeye was fined People thought Margaret had a nice behind Frank was usually unkind Hawkeye was always in a bind Sometimes shrapnel was hard to find The food was bad the M*A*S*Hers dined People ate any fruit, even the rind For Henry, everything was outlined Most surgeons tried to be kind For home, people usually pined -Kling |
| To go home all people hoped When asked if they liked it, they said nope M*A*S*Hers had to try to cope To R&R they ran with a lope Father Mulcahy dreamed he was pope People at M*A*S*H moped and moped Frank was always the biggest dope Morale in Korea had a downward slope -Kling |
| Nonexistant cheerleaders said rah rah As Radar wrote to his ma Who was away so fa Where mothers sang ta And also said ta And sheep on farms said baa And little children said ha And heads of farms were pas And also maybe das In good ole Ottumwa -Kling |
| The wounded did moan As they were sewn So death didn't own The parts on loan Like skin and bone In hope no spirit would be lone So no family would hear the sad tone Of the person on the phone Saying the fact that was known Of the lifeless zone Of their boy's empty cone -Kling |
| There was always time to jot a note To home everyone wrote Navy men were on a boat During winter use a heavy coat When enemies came, Frank dug a moat Duffel bags were used as totes On Margaret Frank dotes Money was a great taste for goats For peace there was a unanimous vote The least dangerous thing was a coyote Sophie ate all the oats -Kling |
| When shells come people wail Many people were pale Lots of people drank ale Weather was as bad as hail And the wind blew as a gale Happiness was made by mail Most people at M*A*S*H were males I can't think of a person named Dale Or one named Gail Klinger's stunts always failed A sample was once taken in a pail Robbers were put in jail Latrenes were built nail by nail People would eat quail Supply sergeant was Zale Charles didn't like Yale Margaret wore a veil M*A*S*H people never saw whales There was sometimes help from Wales Mulcahy tried to make sales For orphans that liked to hear tales -Kling |
| To Koreans all soldiers were Joes To the bar money was owed Drinks at Rosie’s were so-so There was hardly grass to mow Henry never knows Morale was always low Klinger wore bows The Yearling was about a doe Frank was often a foe On R&R people go Mulcahy’s garden was hoed To freedom, Klinger rowed Radar spelled wrong sow He spelled it sew Mulcahy’s sis bit his toe Hawkeye said yo -Kling |
| As the amount of points needed were met People went home by plane or jet In poker there were many bets Radar had many pets The camp awakened to a trumpet The Potters got a new TV set To the O Club, there were debts Hold on, I’m not done yet $200 BJ needed to get Everyone at M*A*S*H was a vet The bed, Tuttle did wet -Kling |