| A Million Years Before M.A.S.H or So it Seems |
| BJ's Story |
| "Another doctor on the way," said Jay Hunnicut as he patted his son on the back. "I can't believe it," said Bea Hunnicut, "another one. It's so amazing, but I don't know if I can stand you leaving again." "Jeez Mom, it's only a few hours away and I've been going there for the last three years, so I think you know where it is. Anyways, I don't think I could spend another hour living with you guys," said BJ Hunnicut with a smirk. "Yeah, me either, so how about taking me along," chided Jim, BJ's younger brother who was still in high school. "Sorry, Jimmy, but I don't think Mom and Dad could part with you just yet," said BJ. Bea and Jay Hunnicut were making motions for BJ to take Jim with him. "Gee, I think the way it's going I'm destined to be in the medical career," said Jim. "Yeah, with Annabelle being a nurse and all and me, well I'm not in medical school yet, but I'll be after this last year for my Bachelor's, becoming a doctor I think you are destined to be in a medical career. You'll make a great janitor," said BJ. "Beej!" yelled Jim as he punched BJ. "Okay, I think you had better be a boxer," said BJ as he rubbed the large bruise on his right shoulder. "Jim, BJ, behave yourselves. You must get these ideas from your wild father," said Bea. "Yeah, our wild father. The one who was so good and quiet during school that his teachers didn't even think he could talk," said Jim. "Well, I was shy," said Jay. "Anyways, your mother turned me into a wild child in college. She was a terror. She was head of her sorority and the biggest partier on campus. Somehow the doll fell for me." "That's touching," said BJ with a giggle. "On that subject, when are you going to find that girl so I can have some more grandkids," said Bea. "Well, I dunno. What about Annabelle and Bill? Why don't you tell them to have more kids," said BJ. "After little Jacob, I don't think they could handle any more," said Jim. "Be kind, Jimmy," said Bea, "Jacob is a ... a cute child." "A terror child," said Jay. "Be nice, Dad," said BJ, "he's a a cute terror child." "BJ!" yelled Bea. "Well, gee, look at the time. I gotta go catch a train," said BJ. "Oh, goodbye, BJ. I love you baby," said Bea as she gave her son a big hug and kiss. "Bye Son and keep your partying to a minimum," said Jay as he gave his son a hug. "Well, Big Bro, I'll see you later," said Jim as he hugged BJ. "Goodbye," said BJ as he stepped out of the house and made his way to the train station. At Stanford BJ walked into his dormitory and was happy to find empty. He sat on his suitcase and took in his surroundings. His two roommates came busting through the door and broke the moment. "Hey! Here's our roomie," said the taller of the two figures. "So are you practicing medicine?" asked the other guy. "Not yet, but maybe someday. You guys?" asked BJ. "We will be soon, too. Once we get our undergraduate degree. I'm Randy Towars," said the taller one. "And I'm Joe Ridley," said the other guy. "I'm BJ Hunnicut," said BJ. "Nice to meet you, BJ," said Randy. "So what does BJ stand for?" "Whatever you want it to," said BJ. "Come on, you can divulge to us," said Joe. "Maybe it's embaressing like Big Jock or Bat Juice," said Randy. "Maybe it stands for Bartholomew Jorgenson or Bradley Jelarky," said Joe. "Not even close," said BJ. "Maybe his parents are bandits and they named him Black Jack," said Randy. "Hmm, Black Jack, that's a good nickname. How about it, Black Jack?" "It's catchy and definitely the most creative nickname I've had," said BJ. "Speaking of card games, let's play a little poker," said Joe. "All right," said BJ,"but I'm going to beat the pants off you guys." Two Hours Later "He really did beat the pants off us," said Randy as he shivered in his boxers and undershirt. "Yeah, come on, Black Jack, BJ, can we have our pantas and our shirts back," said Joe. "Not a chance," said BJ. "You guys owe me five-thousand, six hundred, and forty-six dollars. The least you could do was give me your clothes." Four Days Later "Mr. Towars, please explain this," said Mrs. Dunbury, one of the professors, as he picked up tacks off her chair. "It wasn't me, honest," said Randy. "I'm sure," said Mrs. Dunbury. BJ almost burst out laughing since he was the one who pulled that and almost all of the practical jokes. No one ever suspected him because he was always quiet amd did his work. After class, BJ made his way to his dormitory. A guy from his last class came up to talk to him. "You're Hunnicut, right? BJ Hunnicut?" said the guy. He was rather tall, taller than BJ, and quite lanky. "Yup, that's me. Why does it interest you?" asked BJ. "Well, I've been observing your practical jokes--yes, I know you're playing them--and I was wondering if you wanted to join our fraternity. The name's Leo Bardonaro," said the guy as he extended his hand. "Uh, nice to meet you," said BJ as he shook Leo's hand and got shocked by the hand buzzer on his hand. "Oww!" "Ahahaha," laughed Leo. "Got ya, so are you in?" "Sure (laughing), sure, Leo, but you guys drink, right?" asked BJ. "Us? Drink? We have kegs on a regular basis," said Leo. "You sound like a perfect recruit. Show uo tonight at ...(Leo whispered into BJ's ear.)" Back at His Dormitory "So, Black Jack, where are you going tonight, square dancing?" asked Randy with a smirk. "Yeah, where are you going?" asked Joe as he giggled a bit. "Uhh, a party," said BJ as he took off his big clunky shoes. "Whoa, a party? You had better change your style a bit. You know, make it a little less..." said Randy. "Out of style," said Joe. "Yeah," said Randy. " Here, wear this. Women will be clinging to you like flies to flypaper." Randy tossed BJ a Hawaiian shirt with orange, brown, and white flowers on it. "Take this too," said Joe. "It will add to your ensemble." Joe tossed BJ a straw hat with some strange adornments. BJ threw on the stuff. "Lookin' good," said Randy. "So are you going to take us to this party?" asked Joe. "I guess I owe you," said BJ. At the Party "Beej, hey," said Leo. "Are you ready to be inducted into the wildest and craziest fraternity ever? That's a great shirt, and that hat is wild. Man, you are amazing. How about a cigar?" Leo pulled out two cigars and stuck one inhis mouth and offered one to BJ. "I want that one," said BJ as he snatched the one from Leo's mouth. "I don't trust you." Leo lit the cigar and it exploede in BJ's face. "Gotcha," said Leo. Leo and BJ started to down and few drinks. About Six, Seven, Maybe Eight Drinks Later "Hey everyone! Here is our new, nnn new, member. Give it, it up for...for, uhh, Beej...Beej, uhhh," said Leo "Honeystrut," said Randy. "Honeypup," said Joe. "Hunni..uh, I can't remember," said BJ as he collapsed on the floor. "Yeah, give it up for Jeeb...Honey I can't rememeber strut. I...uhhh, drench him!" yelled Leo. Four big guys grabbed a keg and dumped it all over the passed out BJ. A girl ran over to help him. "Go Jeeb," yelled Joe.. "Yeah, we knew that..that outfit would get you girls. If only we could bbe..be so lucky," said Randy. "Are you all right, Beej, right?" said the girl. Her long blonde hair was done up in a ponytail. "Whoa,I must be dreaming or maybe I'm having a hangover," said BJ. "Jeez, a typical guy. You're fine," said the girl. "Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you, uhh," said BJ. "Peg or Peggy as my friends call me," said the girl."Maybe I'll see you around, you're kinda cute." "Yeah, you're too," said BJ. He smacked himself for saying that. "Bye Beej," said Peg. "Black Jack," said Randy,"that Leo guy is out like a light. Let's have some fun." The next morning Leo woke up with two very stiff arms. He looked at the two casts on his arms. He should've never let three students who know how to break into the medical lab get a hold of him. "BJ Hunniwhatever!" yelled Leo. |
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