| A Million Years Before M*A*S*H (or so it seems) |
| Sidney's Story Five Years, Three Months Before |
| “A psychiatrist?” Why a psychiatrist?” asked a patient. “Well, I wanted to help people, but I couldn’t stand all of that blood and guts. My mother always told me I was easy to talk to. I enjoy listening so here I am,” said a thirty-year old man with curly black hair and a mustache. “I would think anyone who wanted to be a psychiatrist is definitely crazy. Like that man,” said the patient. “What man?” asked the psychiatrist. “What man?” asked the patient. “Try to remember the man,” said the psychiatrist, “the man who is crazy.” “No!” yelled the patient. “I don’t want to.” “Relax,” said the psychiatrist. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” The patient was escorted from the room and the psychiatrist followed him out. He flopped own in his car and laid his head on the steering wheel, trying to sort out his thoughts. He started the ignition and made his way home. “Sidney, sweetie, what’s wrong?” asked Lynne, Sidney’s wife. “This patient is impossible. He just won’t open up and has severe delirium. The problem is I don’t know why. It’s been three days and I’ve explained more about myself than he’s said about what happened. All I know is that there was some crazy man involved,” said Sidney. “Well, just relax and you’ll find out what’s wrong with him. Here, have a bowl of this great stew and you’ll feel better,” said Lynne as she scooped up some stew. “Dad, look, look I lost my first tooth,” said Timothy, their son who was about five. “Wow,” said Sidney. “You had better put that under your pillow for the tooth fairy.” “The tooth fairy?” said Timothy. “The tooth fairy comes and collects teeth and puts a quarter in their place,” said Sidney. “Wow,” said Timothy as he ran off to his room. “I wanna lose teeths too,” said Will, their other son who is about three. “You will soon,” said Lynne. “I wanna now,” said Will. “You’re time will come, Slugger,” said Sidney as he scooped Will up. “Sid, you’re so good with people. How do you do it?” asked Lynne. “With my incredible wit and charm,” said Sidney. “Ah,” sighed Lynne. The next day Sidney Theodore Freedman was sitting in front of Alsn Larrus, the infamous uncurable patient. For a few moments they just stared blankly at each other. Sidney broke the silence. “How was you night?” “Okay, the man next door screamed all night.” “Did the nurses calm him down?” “Yeah, eventually. They took him out of his room and I saw him. He kept screaming that birds were attacking him. He was only eighteen like that crazy kid.” “Who is this crazy kid?” “He was a crazy kid.” “Elaborate.” “He was crazy. He wanted to jump off a dock at a lake to prove his point.” “So this kid who was crazy was at a lake and wanted to jump…” “No, no, no, no!” “Okay, okay, that’s all for today.” Sidney stayed late at work that night and went over all of his notes on Alan. “Questions on psychiatrists, mention of “crazy kid” makes him squirm and scream, twitches head, story about lake and jumping. Something is missing. This just doesn’t add up. I need to know hat happened to that crazy kid,” said Sidney. He dragged himself out to his car and drove home. The next day Sidney pulled himself out of bed. Today he was filled with determination, determination to save this man’s mind. To pull him out of the confusions he was stuck in. “Sid?” yelled Lynne. “Can you please go feed Lucas?” “All right,” said Sidney, “ but I’m leaving right after that. Today I’m going to help just one more person. “Wonderful,” said Lynne. “Hi Lucas. You’ve got to eat fast okay? Dad’s got to get to work,” said Sidney as he picked up baby Lucas and bottle-fed him. After Lucas was good and full, Sidney kissed Lynne goodbye and ran out the door. He wanted to get to work as east as he could. A cop noticed him speeding and pulled him over. “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?” “Too fast?” “That’s right!” “Officer, could you please let me off? This is the first time I’ve gotten pulled over and I have a patient who needs help.” “Oh, an emergency. Okay, Doctor go on and I hope he lives!” Sidney chuckled to himself over his creative use of words. He knew how naïve policemen could be. He appeared in front of the institution in Brooklyn and walked in. “So we meet again, Alan” “Yup” “I heard you had a visitor” “Yup” “Who was it?” “My sister” “What did she say?” “That she was sorry, then she left” “Sorry for what?” “No!” “What?” “No Ralph!” “Ralph?” “Don’t jump, no, I’m sorry” “What happened, Alan?” “There was a lake and he was going to jump” “Go on, explain the event, the lake” “In my apartment we argued” “Who?” “Me and Ralph. I told him to jump and he jumped. He wasn’t supposed to” “Jump where, into the lake?” “No, there was no lake. We were in my apartment arguing, arguing about what he was doing to the family.” (Alan started to cry.) “Go on, Alan. We’re almost there.” “I… I told him that…that it would be better if he just were to go jump off…” “Jump off where?” “The roof. He jumped off the roof because I told him to. I tried to apologize. I told him I was sorry, but he wouldn’t listen. He just stood there on the edge staring down. I ran to grab him, but … but he jumped. Oh Ralph no, why Ralph, why? I’m sorry, so, so sorry.” “It’s okay, Alan. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be all right. It wasn’t you’re fault. Your brother had more problems than you could see. Just remember to treasure the family you have left. You see, you’re just fine. You need to stop feeling the blame and go on with your life. Your brother is dead, but don’t let your spirit die with him. Pull yourself up and walk on.” “Thanks, Dr, Freedman. Thank you so much. I hope you can help more people, like you helped me. I’ll never forget this, ever.” |
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