* I've made some minor changes to this chapter because I wasn't happy with the original layout. I've also added some small bits and pieces to the dialog as well. I hope you like this version a little better. If you have any questions please email me at: Pinkkatz77@hotmail.com.*
They say that there are two things in life that are for certain. One is taxes and the other is death. Unfortunately death was something that happened to me when I was young, 18 to be exact.
My name was Walter Eugene O'Reilly, but most folks called me Radar. They called me that because I used to able to tell when things were gonna happen before they happened, such as choppers arriving before anybody else could see them and that sort of thing.
But the one night when I needed my so- called 'radar' the most, I was killed.
I was drafted into the army a few weeks after I turned 18, and was sent to Korea to serve in the 4077th MASH unit as the Company Clerk. I was a short spectacle- wearing corporal, who pretty much ran the unit if it wasn't for the fact that we had a C.O.
The 4077th consisted of four doctors.
Captain 'Hawkeye' Pierce, Captain 'Trapper' John McIntyre, Major Frank Burns and Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake (he's the C.O.). Great doctors, with the exception of Major Burns who, from what Hawkeye told me couldn't even carve the guts from a dead turkey.
Major Margaret Houlihan was our head nurse- tough as nails, although she could be mean and stubborn. But from what I later found out though, was that she was compassionate and sensitive person with a heart of gold, and it wasn't until after I died, that I saw these qualities that she and others rarely ever showed.
The rest of the MASH consisted of nurses, the resident camp Chaplain Father Mulcahy - best priest I've ever known and about 70 Enlisted men including, Corporal Max Klinger who wore dresses trying to (unsuccessfully) get a section 8 discharge from the Army.
SATURDAY AUGUST 2ND 1951, 20:35 HOURS.
"Heyya Hawkeye!" Radar yelled as he crossed the compound almost at running pace, trying to catch up with him. It was a Saturday night, raining and with nothing to do.
Hawkeye was in a hurry because he had a date with one of the nurses. Frank Burns arrived 5 minutes late to relieve him of Post-Op duty after one of he and Major Houlihan's little Saturday night escapades that, unknown to them had run overtime.
"Hey Hawk can I talk to you for a few moments? I have a problem."
Hawkeye already irritated with Frank's tardiness said " Radar can't it wait? I'm late for a date and I have to get ready for it, nurse Abel's favorite color isn't olive drab" He pulled at his shirt.
"Well jeez, I guess but...." Radar trailed off
"But what?" Hawkeye said cutting in quickly trying to hurry the question as he shifted his eyes back and forth from his wristwatch to Radar.
"Well it's Saturday night.."
"You noticed?" Pierce quipped as he continued to glance at his watch
"Yeah well all the other guys have dates to the movie and I haven't. I mean, even Klinger has one and he probably has more dresses than she does"
"Yeah and...?" Hawkeye replied as his patience was steadily running thin.
"And I need you to find me a date to take to the movie tonight" Radar paused, not looking up.
"Radar you don't need me to find you a date, I'm sure one of the nurses will gladly go with you tonight if you ask"
"Well that's the thing" he replied in an almost whisper that Hawkeye had to bend down to hear what he was trying to say.
"I already asked all the nurses, and they said that they already had a date or that they had to wash their hair or something"
Hawkeye who was now 10 minutes late and wanting to get to his date before someone else did said "Look, Radar you don't have to have a date to go to the movie, its not like your gonna be able to talk to her anyway, why don't you try again next week?"
Crestfallen and slightly embarrassed by his situation, Radar decided to give up and finish off the large amount of paper work that had to be done anyway.
"O.K sir, I guess. I have so much paper-work anyway, I'll prob'ly be up till 4 in the morning trying to get it out of the way, not that it makes any difference..."
"Yeah, yeah, you do that..." Hawkeye said cutting in as he quickly walked away.
Watching Captain Pierce hurrying back to The Swamp, Radar sighed kicking the dirt as he made his way back to his office, which was also his room.
'Even if I ever do get a date, where would we go?' He thought.' I mean, I have no privacy whatsoever with people barging in and out of here, and the Supply tent is always occupied with either Hawkeye or Captain McIntyre'
"It's not fair" he mumbled to himself as he pushed open the double doors that lead him to his bunk, and seeing the large pile of paperwork that had to be done.
"It's double not fair"
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Getting as comfortable as he could sitting at his typewriter with his trusty soft teddy companion he decided to start the weekly report that was due the next day.
Typing away loudly and the rain softly falling onto the tin roof, he didn't hear the double doors that lead from the outside open and the quiet figure creeping inside.
The office was dim with only a small desk lamp giving off enough light for him to see what he was he was doing.
Radar stopped typing for a moment, and the figure thinking that he must have heard him sneaking in took the opportunity to grab him.
Radar jumped as he felt a rough manly hand clasp around his mouth tightly and the pressure of cold hard steel pressing into his right temple.
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CHAPTER TWO
(Radar's POV)
I was sitting at my desk typing out the weekly report that I started about an hour a ago. Nothing much really happened this week. Just more choppers bringing more wounded and doctors getting drunk and Klinger with his new dresses- nothing that H.Q would really care about, I mean it's not like they don't know what's going on around this mad house, they've seen it and heard it all before.
Anyway as I was saying, I was typing away when I noticed that my ink ribbon was starting to play up. ' Darn it' I thought, ' I haven't even finished the first paragraph and the darn thing wants to play up.' As I stopped to fix the ribbon I felt a movement of air behind me. A swift manly hand clasped around my mouth and the cold hard steel of a gun barrel pressed into my right temple.
"Don't move!" I heard a loud angry whisper behind me " if you move or try to fight, I'll be forced to use this gun sooner than I wanted!" Sooner? What does he mean by sooner? At that time I was too scared to even breathe let alone trying to fight. "Now if I remove my hand do you promise not to call out?" the voice said, pressing the gun into my temple even more. All I could do was nod. " Good " he replied. "Now that I have your attention, I'm gonna turn you around, don't say my name, if you do...BLAMMO! -Got it?" Once again I nodded and he turned me around roughly in my chair as we met face-to-face. "Huh?!" I gasped, I couldn't help it. I was shocked to see who was facing me. It was Private Danny McShane. "What did I say!" he hissed and now pushing the gun barrel into my cheek. "Not a word O'Reilly! I warned you the first time" scared out of my mind I just looked at him giving him a sign that I wouldn't disobey the orders again. "Don't say a word, just do as I say." I nodded once again. "Now get up and get dressed." All- though it was raining it was a rather warm night, so I wore my army issue olive drab shorts and cotton t-shirt.
Once I was dressed into my usual fatigue green pants and jacket with my shoes back on my feet he ordered me to sit at my desk. For a while nothing was said, he just looked at me.
I knew Danny from around the camp, he helped out time-to-time removing the wounded from O.R to the Post-Op. He had very few friends around here and I usually got the feeling that he didn't like me very much-that's probl'y why he was the only person other than Major Houlihan that Major Burns got along with. Major Burns would always call him 'The All Round American Boy' and always told me I should follow his example instead of succumbing to the bad habits of disobeying his orders when Hawk and Trapp were around.
After a few more moments of deafening silence he finally spoke up. " I'm gonna give it to ya straight O'Reilly, no tip toeing, no sugar coating. I'm here because I'm gonna kill ya."
"Huh? K-kill me, w-why?" I stammered. Once again I spoke when I wasn't supposed to and for a second I thought he was gonna hit me good, but he hesitated for some reason. Instead he laughed with a slight crazed look in his eyes and simply said, "Revenge."
'R-revenge? Why? I didn't do nothin to ya, I've been nice to everyone since I got to this place, I don't remember doing anything to you" I stammered once again. "It's not revenge against you O'Reilly, it's for Captains Pierce and McIntyre." Pushing the gun barrel in a little harder. "B-but why? They didn't do anything to ya either, I don't u-understand"
"They didn't do anything to me?! He replied livid. They cost me-they cost me a lot of money, money that I needed to buy my way out of this hell-hole and back to state-side!" Realising how loud he was then, he quietened down to a somewhat barley understandable Whisper.
" I could have rid myself of this MASH for good, I could have escaped from the daily taunting and harassment that I endure from the others if it wasn't for Pierce and McIntyre."
"W-what did they do?" I knew I was taking a risk by speaking up again but I was curious as to what the two doctors have done that would have pushed him to go as far as to kill someone who probably had nothing to do with it.
Pulling the gun away from my face a bit and examining it as if were something under magnifying glass he finally continued " Since the first day I arrived here I've been an outcast. I don't know what it is about me that the others don't like, I mean I like playing football and playing poker and that sort of thing but they wouldn't let me in. So after a while I tried to be extra nice, but just as before it didn't work and Major Burns being more tolerable towards me and not them didn't help." Pausing for a moment he continued " But one day when I was at my lowest, I met a 'Dr' Pak. He said I could make a lot of money that would guarantee my ticket out of here" Even more curious I couldn't help but say "how?" Thinking he let his guard down McShane pushed the barrel back into my face again. "By arranging for me to marry a Business girl for a thousand bucks, and when we were married, we would part company and she get shipped state-side to work for some of 'Dr' Pak's 'friends', and me with a fist full of bribe money to give to a pilot to take me home too."
I was stunned. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. " But the main problem was Pierce and McIntyre." He continued. " They were the ones giving the physicals and noticed who Soong Hi was. I tried to convince them that I was in 'love' with her but they thought they knew better. At first they let it go and figured that maybe I would wait after all, but then a few days later that big mouth Pak came visiting them and tried to bribe them with money to O.K Soong Hi's physical. When they realised what was really happening they faked an X-ray claiming that she had T.B and busted the whole scheme wide open."
Just then I realised what he was talking about. I know for a fact that they would never have faked an X-Ray and Danny must have concluded that it was a personal attack on him, and not them trying to protect all those who were involved.
" When the others found out what happened I was beaten and harassed worse than ever before. I was suicidal and wanted to die, but then I realised why should I? So I figured why not let them pay?" he said.
By this time my heart was racing, and I was sweating bullets down my face. He looked at me and said "O'Reilly, I've been watching you lately. I've also noticed that you haven't been very happy as well- you know, not been able to find a date like the others and the paperwork building up, late nights answering the phone and being ordered around harshly by Burn's." "
Yeah?..So?..." I replied cautiously "So" he started " haven't you been feeling a little depressed lately?" confused by his question I simply answered "no." "Well your about to." He replied glancing up at me with a look in his eyes that I have never seen before in any human being.
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CHAPTER THREE
That was one of the most disturbing looks I've ever seen. It was the look of a person who had lost all hope and joy in their life and instead it was replaced by pure anger and hate for fellow human beings.
When he said that I was about to be depressed, I was terrified. I didn't like where this was heading and even though he told me that he was gonna kill me I tried to stall him for as long as I could.
"W-why do you have to kill me? Y-you could talk to Father Mulcahy or Dr.Freedman, maybe they can help you?" I stammered. "O'Reilly" he said with an almost regrettable tone. "I'm way past help now, no one can help me any more, not the priest, nor the shrink. What I'm gonna do to you is enough therapy for me" he replied.
At this point I was ready to cry, I wanted to but I had more dignity than that and maybe just maybe someone would walk in and rescue me. But I knew better.
"Ok O'Reilly" he said, back into his demanding tone. "This is what I want you to do. I want you to grab that note book and a pencil and write down EVERY thing I tell you" he told me waving his gun near my face. So I did as he as he told.
When someone is pointing a gun to your head, you don't want to make them angry--although I didn't know how much angrier Danny could get.
"O.K, now write this down... Dear Hawkeye and Trapper, I can't take it any more. I hate it here. I hate the way people make fun of me all-day and everyday. I hate the office that I live in and the constant build up of paper work, the broken sleep because of the phone ringing in the dead of the night and the orders that people give me. I hate the way you sir's make fun of my height and treat my love life and job like It's a joke. It has to end here and now, away from you and away from this place. I just hope Klinger will be able to do a better job than me.
Goodbye. -Radar O'Reilly."
"Read it back to me" he demanded. So I did. "Perfect" he laughed "I can't wait to see the look on Pierce and McIntyre's faces, the pain is just gonna be exquisite"
'Oh boy what a sicko, he's making me write my apparent suicide note and then he's gonna kill me' I thought.
By this time I was panicking, I didn't want to die. I was scared of pain, I remember when I had to get those rabies shots I almost cried because of a little needle- this was a gun and that will blow me away across my office and besides what about ma? She'll be heart broken and so will Uncle Ed, how will they be able to manage to farm without me for good? Especially if they think they I killed myself. I would never kill myself over something as silly as McShane made me write in that note.
"Please, don't do this to me" I begged. I hated begging. " I don't want to die, I didn't do anything to you".
"Sorry O'Reilly, this is the way it has to be."
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I pleaded again, but it was no use. He didn't care and I knew that there was no way in changing his mind or trying to talk him out of it, he has been pushed to a point of no return and that tired look in his eyes said so.
"Turn your chair back around and face the typewriter again." He simply said. I silently did so and I looked at him one more time with the hope of him reconsidering, but no such luck.
I sat there staring straight ahead, with my heart beating faster than a jackhammer and my body drenched in cold sweat. A million things were racing through my mind. Ma, Uncle Ed, the farm and the people of the 4077th. I suppose this is what they meant by about your life flashing before your eyes. I didn't really believe in that sort of thing until now.
"O.k O'Reilly close your eyes and grit your teeth if you must, because I don't know whether or not this is gonna hurt, so lets just get it over and done with shall we?"
"P-please" I whimpered "P-please don't kill me, I don't want to die" When I closed my eyes a single rotten tear ran down my face. So much for the dignity thing. This only got him a little more excited. "Revenge is the sweetest thing" he laughed.
In the distance I could hear the thunder and lighting rolling behind the clouds. When the gun goes off no one will hear a thing. Everyone is at the movie and I'll die alone.
McShane grabbed my messy handwritten note in his left hand and read it once more, he chuckled at it and then put it in his army jacket pocket for safe keeping for the moment.
Once again I felt that cold hard gun barrel pressed against my right temple. With my eyes still closed and my teeth clenched I started to brace my self for what was coming at any moment. At that time I wished I did fight him, I mean he was gonna kill me whether I did or not. The O'Reilly's ain't quitters, but it was too late now I was too scared to move and I was breathing in small gasps.
I heard him unlock the safety switch, and I held my breath for a moment. I felt him lean closer to my left ear as he whispered quietly and coldly "After I get the reaction I wanted out Pierce and McIntyre, their next."
" What?..No...I quietly whimpered
I heard him laugh, as he pulled the trigger.
There was a loud ringing sound in my ears, and spots started dancing behind my eyelids, I felt limp and light headed for a moment and then every thing went black.
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CHAPTER FOUR
I felt no pain as I sat up in my chair, the room was spinning and I couldn't focus properly. I felt my face to see if my glasses were still on. 'Yep, there still there' I thought as I looked around the office to see if I could find McShane. ' Boy is he gonna get hit real good when I find him after playing that practical joke on me, he sure seemed convincing using that toy gun'.
Once again I looked around the office. It was dark. The rain must have leaked into the generator and shorted it out. All of a sudden I heard a match strike, and saw a candle being lit. I always kept a candle in my desk draw just in case the generator suddenly breaks down.
Now that my vision was starting to clear a little I saw it was Danny who was holding the candle, which was giving off a soft glow around him. "Danny! You idiot!" I yelled as I stood up and stormed over towards him. "Why did you play that stupid joke on me, you scared me to death!" He ignored me as he looked down at his clothing, and I didn't even notice what was on them until now. " Great" he said " now I'm gonna have to go and try to wash this blood out before breakfast tomorrow."
'Blood...Why did Danny have blood on him?' . "Boy what a mess" I heard him say. He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a handkerchief and he started to wipe the blood from his hands and face. He was covered in it.
Once he managed to clean most of it away he walked over and placed the lit candle on my desk, and it was then that I realised where the blood came from and that the gun wasn't a toy.
I looked over to where McShane was standing, I saw a small figure slumped over the typewriter that was sitting on my desk. I didn't recognise who it was at first, my mind was mixed up and fragments of memories were seeping through. I remembered that I was sitting around a typewriter a moment ago scared and shaking for some reason.
"Damn O'Reilly, you made a hell of a mess" he laughed, as he lifted the candle and carefully examined the area. "Klinger ain't gonna be happy cleaning this up."
'What!?.. O'Reilly? W-why did he say my name to that guy? I stammered in my thoughts.' "Hey, McShane I'm standing right here!" I yelled out, and once again he didn't answer. 'Why was he ignoring me?'
" Sorry it had to be this way kid, you weren't that bad. I actually kind of liked you; otherwise you would have been dead sooner. Oh well it doesn't matter now, the jobs done and now it's time to reap the benefits of the reward" he continued in a some-what eerie and unnatural happy tone.
"Huh, Dead? I'm not dead, I'm standing right here!" I called out angrily. I walked around the desk and looked down, then I realised who it was.
It was me.
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I screamed as I stumbled backwards and fell onto the floor. Danny didn't look up once and I couldn't understand what the heck was going on. "T-that was me!" I yelled out " W-why am I here and there at the same time! I glanced over to where he was still standing and I saw him pull out a white piece of paper from his shirt pocket. He then placed it on the desk beside the typewriter.
Next he carefully lifted my right arm, which was slumped over the side of the chair and placed the bloodied gun into my hand and clasped my fingers around the handle with my index finger on the trigger. Making sure that the grip was tight he lowered it down again and took a step back to examine the scene. "Perfect" he said grinning. He took one more glance around and decided that it looked just the way he wanted. "The perfect suicide scene " he laughed.
Making sure that there were no bloodied boot prints on the floor he blew out the candle and replaced it back into the desk draw and exited out through the double doors that led out to the compound, slipping into the night without anyone noticing him.
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I sat shaking on the floor I was too stunned to move. I couldn't believe what was happening-- what I just saw. "I'm dead?... Am I a ghost? Maybe that explains why he didn't answer me back" I whispered.
I finally got the courage to stand up. Feeling a bit wobbly I lost my balance and I tried to grab my cot as I fell, but my hand went right through it "Huh? Whoa!" I cried out as I crashed hard onto the floor again. Gathering up my senses I tried to stand up once more and surprisingly I found it easier this time.
The office was dark, but the moon was peaking over the broken clouds so there was a little light coming through. Although it was very dim I could make out the objects in the room. I looked down at myself confused. "I don't understand.." I said slowly " I look real enough and I sure as heck feel real enough" I patted my arms and chest "why did I just fall through my cot?"
Looking back over at my desk I realised why. Slowly and quietly I walked over towards the body that sat in the chair. When I arrived I bent down to get a closer look. It was me alright, I saw the moonlight reflecting onto the lenses of the glasses that were worn and the woollen cap was on the floor.
I stood back up saddened. "At least I didn't experience any pain, it was so quick. Thank God." I sighed. "Speaking of which, if I'm dead aren't I supposed to go to Heaven, or Hell, or something? Where is this bright white light that I've heard about?"
I remember once when I used to help out in post-Op I heard one of the wounded talking to the others about a bright light that he said engulfed him when he died on the table and the feeling of peace and happiness washing all over his body.
Later I told Hawkeye what I heard and he softly said "Radar, that man was very badly injured and in a lot of pain. Yes he died for a few moments but we managed to bring him back. That bright light he was talking about was probably the lights that we use in O.R"
At the time I guess he was probably right, but I wasn't too sure. But now I don't know what to think, I never used to believe in ghosts, but now I am one.
The moonlight was fading away as the clouds started to move over and the lighting and thunder returned. On the desk I saw the note that Danny placed next to the typewriter. I tried to remember what it said, but I couldn't no matter how much I concentrated.
Glancing back at my body some of his words that he whispered to me before he pulled the trigger were floating back. 'Pierce...McIntyre...Reaction.' I trailed off. "Reaction?..wait a minute! He said that when he got the reaction he wanted out of Hawkeye and Trapper after he killed me, he was gonna kill them too!"
The lighting and thunder outside started to grow intense and the rain was falling hard. Water was leaking from the roof and softly dripping into a helmet I placed on a file cabinet earlier. The wind was howling outside and it slightly rustled the papers on desk.
Just then, a huge bolt of lighting scattered across the sky lighting up the whole office. "OH JEEZE!" I screamed when I saw the walls. Blood was splattered across every where, and the desk and floor were a mess. "B-blood, oh, Jeez there's so much blood!" I cried out covering my mouth thinking that I was gonna be sick, but of course nothing came up.
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CHAPTER FIVE
SATURDAY AUGUST 2ND 1951, 21:55 HOURS
MESS TENT.
"Oh jeez Louise, Klinger! What happened? Called out Henry Blake, the C.O of the 4077th. They were watching a movie in the mess tent when the electricity within the entire camp went out.
Klinger was in charge of the movie projector that night with his date by his side. "I think the generator shorted out sir, its coming down hard out there so the wind might have knocked it about or water got into it." He explained.
"Well go and have a look at it then Klinger" Henry said impatiently "Yes sir" Corporal Klinger replied as he got up, saluted and pushed his way through the crowd of people in the darkness of the Mess tent.
As he left he could hear the others complaining about the sudden inconvenience. He wrapped his mink coat around himself tightly while he tried to hold his long skirt down as the wind was blowing it up.
Running across the Compound as fast he could he reached the Generator shed and slammed the door behind him. 'That wind is at some top speeds out there and I can't believe how cold it got suddenly' he thought to himself. He took a look at the generator for a moment and tinkered with some of the wires but he couldn't get it running again. "I hate this thing" he mumbled to himself "I'll get Radar to fix it; he's the only one who knows how."
Once again slamming the door behind him he quickly made his way to Radar's office. Like the entire camp, it was dark too.
'Odd, his office is dark' he thought to himself, 'A little too dark if you ask me, usually he lights a candle when the power goes off-he's scared of the dark.' But he shrugged it off thinking that the Company Clerk might have gone to bed early, but with the amount of work he has half the time, going to bed early on a Saturday night was a rare thing to happen.
Carefully pushing the double doors open, he noticed how eerily quiet it was. "Radar?" he whispered "Radar are you asleep?" Feeling his way around in the darkness he walked over towards Radar's cot that sat in one corner of the room. It was empty.
"Hey Radar, buddy are you in here?" he then felt his way around towards the desk and bumped into the chair where he felt something soft sitting in it. "Hey Radar there you are, I've been looking for you, the generator broke and we need you to fix it." Reaching for the desk drawer he opened it and felt around for the candle and the box of matches. Pulling out a match he noticed how sticky the box was, but ignored it and lit the candle.
As the glow around him softened he saw Radar slumped over his typewriter and thinking that he was asleep he gently tried to shake him awake. "Hey buddy wake up, the generator is on the fritz and, and...." Looking around he saw what he didn't notice earlier-blood, and a lot of it.
Taking a step back he almost slipped. Glancing down at his high heels he noticed the glimmer of the gun that was gripped tightly in Radars right hand, out of the corner of his eye. Gasping he stammered "R -R-radar? " and looking back up again he saw what his worst fears confirmed. Radar wasn't asleep, he was dead-a death that was inflicted by his own hand.
Klinger screamed as he stumbled back, the candle flame was flickering making the shadows dance across the wall. He tried to grab onto anything that would stop him from falling backwards, but a gush of wind blew from underneath the door blowing out the candle. Once again in total darkness, he couldn't see where was going and he fell through the double doors into a large mud puddle. Cold, wet and muddy he scrambled to his feet and shot off towards the Mess tent.
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"OUCH! What was that!? ...." Nurse Bigelow cried out as she turned to her left side. "What?" Hawkeye innocently said "I didn't pinch you", "How did you know that I was pinched?" she replied whilst giving him a playful shove "We're in almost complete darkness." "Well" Hawkeye said as he wrapped his arms around her, "I've eaten so many creamed carrots over here, my eyes have taken a power of their own-and my hands too" he added giving her a cheeky smile.
During the time that Klinger was away Trapper had managed to find a small torch that gave off a little bit of light. "O.K settle down people, Klinger will get the generator going again real soon." Henry said in his most authoritative voice possible, but as always nobody listened.
Just then Corporal Klinger burst through the Mess tent doors, making everybody jump. "KLINGER!" Henry yelled "Why are you here!? You should be fixing the generator, the lights aren't...." he stopped when he noticed that Klinger was pale, shaking and covered in mud. "What's the matter Klinger, did you see the boogie man in the Generator closet?" Hawkeye laughed" But Captain Pierces face clouded over with concern when he saw the look on Klinger's face.
"What is it soldier?" Henry said also with concern. "R-r-r-r-radar" was all the Corporal could stammer out as his eye's rolled towards the back of his head and his body going limp. Hawkeye and Trapper jumped out to catch him just before he collapsed onto the floor. "He's in shock" Trapper observed as he gently lifted his eye lids to examine him. "What would scare Klinger so much to have put him in this state of shock?"
Then as if some telepathic brainwave jolted through them, Hawkeye, Trapper and Henry glanced up at each other and said "RADAR!" at the same time.
Hawkeye was the first one to react. He jumped up, bolted through the Mess tent and into the compound making his way to Radars office followed by Trapper, Henry and the rest of the camp behind him.
As he burst through the office doors the back-up generator started and Hawkeye was greeted with the grim scene that lay before him.
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CHAPTER SIX
RADARS P.O.V
I had to turn my head, the sight was too awful. I couldn't believe that it was me sitting in that chair, "Why me?" was all I could say over and over. Just then I heard the doors from the outside opening and someone whispering my name.
"Radar?" he whispered "Radar are you asleep?" At first I didn't recognize the voice until I heard him say "Hey Radar, buddy are you in here?"
'OH No! Klinger!' I thought panicking. Klinger was the only one in the camp that called me buddy, and he was one of the last people who I wanted discovering my messed up body.
"Please Klinger, Please don't go over there!" I yelled out as he made his way towards my desk but because it was still pitch black he couldn't see where he was going so he had to feel his way around the office. At first he crawled over to my empty bunk and when he discovered that I wasn't there, he made his way towards my desk.
I heard him say something about the generator being broken as he bumped into my chair. He put his hand on my back and felt me slumped over. Klinger knew that I had a candle and a box of matches stashed in my desk draw because he had taken over as temporary Company Clerk when I went on R&R so he knew where most of the stuff was kept.
I watched as he took the candle and the box of matches out of the desk draw and lit the wick. I turned away again not wanting to watch what was about to happen. At first I thought he was gonna scream, but he must have thought I was asleep and he tried to shake me awake, but as he was doing that and talking to me he looked around and noticed the blood. He took a step back and almost slipped. While glancing down to the floor Klinger saw the gun that was in my hand.
That was when he realized that I wasn't asleep.
He finally screamed and a gush of wind blew the candle out. Back in complete darkness again he tried to find something to grab onto so he wouldn't fall, but fell through the double doors and into the mud.
"KLINGER! WAIT!" I yelled, but it was no use he couldn't hear me and I watched him as he flew off towards the Mess tent.
Pacing backwards and forwards across my office I knew what was about to happen next- And I dreaded it.
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A few minutes later I heard the heavy sounds of boots running across the compound. The thunder and lighting has subsided and it was just drizzling now. All of a sudden the back-up generator started again and the entire camp had full power.
I took a step forward but stopped short as Hawkeye burst through the doors and we met face to face. He stood in the door way in front of me for a moment, and for a split second I thought he saw me standing in front of him, but he walked straight through me. It was the strangest feeling I've ever felt, It was as if a warm blanket was wrapped around my body and someone hugging me from behind.
Slowly Hawkeye walked over towards my desk. His face was three shades paler than white and I could see his heavy shallow breaths hanging in the air. Just then Trapper and Colonel Blake burst through the office doors followed by the rest of the camp. I heard the screams of some of the nurses as they saw what was in front of them and a few of the enlisted guys quickly dragged them away.
I stood fixed to the spot as I watched Hawkeye walk around my body. He saw the gun in my hand and he carefully took it out, lock the safety switch and placed it on my desk. As he put the gun down he saw the folded note and read it. When he finished he looked down at me for a moment and then suddenly as if something snapped he lifted my lifeless body out of the chair and laid it on the floor.
I was stunned as I watch him trying to perform CPR on me. He ripped the glasses off my face and tilted my head back opening my mouth and forcing his warm breath down into my lungs. He then did quick five presses onto my chest and I heard the sounds of cracking ribs. He yelled out "BREATHE DAMN YOU BREATHE!" in between his resuscitating while Colonel Blake and Trapper stood in the doorway not moving an inch.
He continued on until Major Houlihan forced her way through and tried to drag poor Hawkeye away, but he resisted as she practically had to hold him down trying to stop him from hopelessly reviving me.
He yelled out " LET GO OF ME DAMN IT, WE CAN STILL SAVE HIM!" but in the back of his mind he knew I had been dead for a while...a bullet through the brain had taken care of the job straight away, so all attempts were useless the moment that trigger was pulled.
"Hawk" she gently said "Hawk look at me, there's nothing you could've done" she continued as she cupped his face into her hands. "Yes there was" he quietly replied. I saw the pain in his eyes and for a second I thought he was gonna cry, but he didn't.
Covered in my blood I watched as he twisted out of Major Houlihans arms. He stood up and took one last look at my lifeless body and walked out through the Post-Op doors.
Trapper and Colonel Blake finally moved from the door entrance and walked over towards where Major Houlihan was sitting reading the note that Hawkeye left on the floor. When she finished reading it her face was streaked with tears as she handed it over to Trapper and Colonel Blake, where by now they both were just as pale as Hawkeye was.
"I'll get a sheet" I heard Major Houlihan sadly say to them as she got up and quietly walk towards to the Post-Op.
I still stood in the same spot shaking and still not believing what I had just witnessed.
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CHAPTER SEVEN
It felt like hours before I could move my legs again, they felt like steel fixed to the floor. By this time most people had cleared away by order of Colonel Blake and the doors leading to the outside needed to be locked. After Major Houlihan came back from the Post-Op with a white sheet she gently placed it over my body.
I watched as Colonel Blake read the note over and over again, and when he finally finished he ordered Major Houlihan to lock the office doors.
Major Houlihan wasn't familiar at how I kept my office and she had to dig around every where for my set of keys. First she walked over towards my desk where Trapper was leaning and he just stood there not even hearing her when she asked for him to move. He had a fixed _expression on his face and his eyes were glassy, so she had to gently pull him aside to get access to the draw.
She was digging around in the desk draw and I called out "The keys are on my belt loop" but it was useless she couldn't hear me, no one could. Giving up she walked towards the file cabinet and looked under 'K' for Keys, knowing that I kept stuff other than papers under the letters that they start with.
Not finding the keys in the file cabinet either Major Houlihan grew tired of looking and impatiently said" I can't find the keys sir, where could they be? If we don't lock the office tonight people will come in here to gawk."
After a few moments of silence she said "Colonel?" And had to repeat it twice before Colonel Blake answered "His belt, try looking on his belt."
Nodding her head she walked over to the now blood stained sheet and bent down. Colonel Blake and I watched the Major lift the sheet over my head and she paused when she saw the keys attached to my belt loop and struggled trying to pull them off.
Now tugging hard on the jingling keys she still couldn't get them off so she pulled even harder without any results. The Major did one last hard yank and the belt loop ripped forcing my body to move a few inches across the floor, my head tilted left and my open lifeless eyes stared directly into Colonel Blake's.
I watched as Colonel Blake's body stiffened and all he could do was stare directly back. Then all of a sudden I saw his face grow even paler than before and he ran out the doors where I heard him vomiting outside. Finally snapping out of his shock Trapper ran out after him and I sadly followed not far behind.
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When Colonel Blake was finished he leaned against the tin wall and slowly slid down. Trapper sat next to him and they both didn't say anything for a while until Colonel Blake angrily whispered "Why did he do it? Why kill himself, he was so young and he had so much ahead of him. If he had problems why didn't he come and talk to me?" By now I saw that the Colonels eyes had welled up and a single tear ran down his face.
I was shocked and all I could say was "Please Colonel, don't cry." By this time I wanted to cry too, but my ghostly body wouldn't let me and I wanted to comfort him so bad. I hated knowing that they think I killed myself and I felt so guilty because I couldn't tell them that I didn't.
Finally Trapper spoke up and said "I don't understand it either Henry, he seemed so happy and it doesn't make sense that Radar would go and just kill himself like that. But I guess deep down he hated us and resented this place so much that he thought doing that was the only way out.
I couldn't believe what I just heard and I yelled out "THAT ISN'T TRUE!" I stormed over to where Trapper was sitting on the dirt and yelled into his face "I DIDN'T KILL MYSELF! DANNY MCSHANE KILLED ME!" once again I wasn't heard and it frustrated me to the point of screaming.
The rain began to fall harder and they both went inside. Major Houlihan quickly locked the door after them before I had a chance to follow them in, so I had to walk through it-something that I'll never get used to.
Major Houlihan found a stretcher and already lifted my body onto it. For a women she was pretty strong, but then again I didn't weigh very much although I used to eat like there was no tomorrow.
Colonel Blake walked into his office and went straight to his liquor cabinet, pulled out a full bottle of Scotch and drank right out of the bottle not even bothering with a glass. I watched as he swallowed a mouth full and his face twisted with displeasure, but he didn't care so he did it again.
Trapper walked in and said "Henry, Margaret and I are gonna take Radar to the O.R to perform an autopsy we might be able to....." but Colonel Blake cut him short by slamming the bottle down hard on his desk and yelled out "Your not gonna cut that kid up! Isn't it enough that he has a bullet hole in his head!? I'm not sending that kid's body home to his mother with a huge Y shaped zipper mark stitched across his chest! Your gonna clean him up, redress him and bag him!" "But Henry.." Trapper protested "THAT'S AN ORDER CAPTAIN! GO!" Colonel Blake bellowed, so Trapper turned around and left him drinking himself into a stupor in his office.
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It wasn't until Colonel Blake mentioned Ma in his yelling that I realized in a few days she'll get a letter telling her what had happened, and it's gonna kill her. Poor Uncle Ed is the only O'Reilly left that can manage all the back breaking labor around the farm until my older brother can come down to help out, but after a while he'll have to go back to his family and job and Uncle E.d will have to handle all the daily chores on his own.
I use to worry about home a lot when I was alive and often wondered what would really happen if I did die over here in Korea. Uncle Ed was no Spring chicken and neither was ma. We sometimes had to sell our fresh vegetables for money and I used to do odd jobs around neighboring farms for a few dollars that helped ease the strain. But now that I'm Dead they won't have any help and it's gonna put a huge burden on the family financially, as it was I used to send more than half of the pay that I got from the army home and now that's gonna cease too. With out any money they won't be able to afford to feed them selves let alone hire some good workers; they may have to sell the farm.
'It's not fair' I thought sadly but right now I had more important things to worry about-not that the thought of Ma and Uncle E.d having to sell the only home that they've ever known wasn't important, it's just that two other lives perhaps even more were in danger and I was the only one who could stop it.
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CHAPTER EIGHT
"What was all that yelling about?" Margaret asked as Trapper walked back out from the Colonels office. "I told him that I wanted to perform an autopsy on Radar, but as you heard his answer was no. He replied.
"Autopsy? Why do you want to perform an autopsy? The major asked curiously "It's quite obvious how he died, why do you want to cut him up for?" she continued somewhat disturbed at what the captain was suggesting.
"Listen." Trapper explained "I don't know what I expected to find, It's just that I get the feeling that there's more to it than him being upset about us making fun of his height, love life and job"-"then why cut him up McIntyre?" Margaret broke in "There was a gun in his hand when Hawkeye found him, a note written in his own handwriting, he had paperwork piled up to here" Margaret raised her hand above her head to exaggerate the amount of work that Radar had to get done. "It's probably what pushed him over the edge."
Angry that all the facts that Major Houlihan pointed out did make sense and added up, he still didn't want to believe that Radar took his own life over something as trivial as that. Unfortunately he was the only one in the entire camp that had a hunch, that there was more to it than what the evidence presented.
"Come on " he sadly sighed " lets take him to O.R and clean him up, I have to find Hawkeye he's probably out of his mind by now drinking himself into unconsciousness. I wish I could join him this is one night I don't ever want to remember again."
Lifting the stretcher up with the help of the Major they carefully and quietly walked through the Post-Op trying not to disturb the five sleeping patients that were left. The other patched up soldiers were either sent to other hospitals or flown to Seoul and the few that remained were being transported back to their units in a couple of days time.
As they walked through they met Frank doing his rounds, he didn't hear a thing earlier because of the huge thunder and lighting storm that blocked out all the commotion that occurred in Radars office.
"Good evening Major Houlihan" Frank Burns cheerfully said as they walked along. "Go away Frank." McIntyre replied. He wasn't in no mood for Frank and his annoying irritating voice.
"Who asked you!" Frank said lividly "I was talking to the Major" "Go away Frank" She replied back and kept on walking with the Captain in front of her.
"But Marrrggaarreet" he whined and started to follow them "What did I do?, I just wanted to say hello and you, you..." he trailed off when he noticed what they were doing. "Why are you and McIntyre carrying a stretcher for? Did someone die?" he asked curiously.
By this time Trapper was furious that Frank wouldn't go away when he was first asked to, but then again he never does. So he halted, turned around and ripped the sheet off exposing the body that they were carrying underneath.
Shocked at who Frank saw all he could say was "Is that O'Reilly? What's, he doing there? Is that blood?
Livid at the Major's density he replied "No Frank, he spilled Ketchup all over himself, and asked us to clean it off in the O.R... Buzz off before I give you a reason to a report me."
Confused all major Burns could do is huff and walk away. He didn't care about what happened to some lowly, uneducated paper pushing Corporal, so he continued on with his rounds without a second thought.
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SUNDAY AUGUST 3RD 1951, 01:40 HOURS
Major Margaret Houlihan and Captain 'Trapper' John McIntyre worked long into the early hours of Sunday morning cleaning poor Radars messed up body. They managed to fix up the fatal bullet hole, then re-dress and bag him.
Much to Trapper's annoyance he didn't perform the autopsy like he wanted, not just because of the orders that were given to him from Colonel Blake, but out of respect for Radars mother. He thought about the events that happened hours before over and over in his head while he was working and he came to the conclusion that not only does Mrs. O'Reilly have to live with the thought that her youngest son took his own life, but also the fact that she'll never be able to talk to him and hold him again.
Exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed the Doctor and Head Nurse collapsed on the changing room bench. Nothing was said for a few minutes until Margaret broke the silence. "Trapper" she rarely ever called him Trapper. "I really am sorry about Radar you know. I knew how close you and Hawkeye were to him. I feel really guilty about the times I yelled at him and the way I treated him. I wish I could take it all back; he was just a kid playing solider who happened to land Company Clerk, and as good of a job he did doing so, it was just too much for him to handle. Plus having me and Frank on his back every five minutes didn't help either."
Up until now the major had remained the only one in camp cool, calm and collected since the discovery of Radar O'Reilly, but even she had a breaking point and started to cry.
Wrapping his arms around her shoulders Trapper could feel the warm tears running down his face too. "I know, honey, I know." And at the sound of his voice she cried like there was no tomorrow.
Shocked and embarrassed from crying in front of a man who she recently until now disliked, she stood up and announced that work had to be done before typing out a report about the horrific events that took place hours before.
After Margaret left, Trapper decided that he had better get up so he could find Hawkeye. He knew the one place that Hawkeye would hit first; The Swamp and slowly made his way over to their bunk.
Walking in he found the quarters empty and the still hadn't been touched since they filled a flask full of gin to share around at the movie, so he decided to try the Officers Club. He poked his head through the door and was surprised at how deserted it was for an early Sunday morning, but then again news travels around a small camp fast so he guessed no one felt like socializing.
He decided to try one more place-Rosie's bar, but that too was deserted. Giving up he returned back to The Swamp, drunk himself into a stupor twenty minutes after returning and collapsed into drunkenness on his bunk.
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CHAPTER NINE
"URRGG..My head..." Trapper mumbled as he slowly and carefully sat up. It was early morning and the Korean sun shone brightly through Frank's part of the tent. Frank rose early that morning and was already out and about.
Trapper clutched his head as he laid back down again the right way up, his tong felt like fur and he wondered why he drank himself almost to death.
'Death..' he thought slowly, even thinking made his headache worse. Then all of a sudden his stomach went ice cold. "RADAR!" he yelled out. He sat up suddenly and almost straight away he wished he didn't.
Thoughts of last nights incident ran through his mind and he felt a wave of sadness and grieve wash over him. "Radar.." he said slowly over and over. "Radar killed himself last night.. I thought it was only a dream...it has to be..." As he looked down he saw that his shirt was stained red with the young Corporal's blood. "Oh no...it's true, the note, the gun, the blood.."
He stood up so he could go grab a quick shower and noticed that Hawkeye's cot hadn't been slept in. "Hawkeye?......Hawk?......" Looking around he couldn't any see any sign of Hawkeye and his mind flashed with memories of his friend trying to resuscitate Radar in vain.
Stumbling out of The Swamp he noticed how quiet and peaceful the camp was for this time of the morning. Usually the place would be buzzing with people trying to relax in the warm sun that rarely ever showed its face this time of the year. Last nights thunder storm had left huge water puddles on top of a few tents leaving them to sag, and the ground was slushy from the water and mud.
Every now and then a sad face would pop out of a tent and make its way to the Mess tent. The thought of what chow the mess Sergeant would be serving made his stomach even queasier and the only thing he could handle right now was a huge cup of sludge that they called coffee, but first he needed to shower. The last thing he wanted was to be responsible for was making people sick, but he probably wouldn't be able to tell whether it was from him or the food.
Feeling a little bit better after a hot shower and wearing cleaner clothes he made his way to the Mess tent, like the camp it too was almost deserted. He surveyed the tent to see if Hawkeye was anywhere to be found but all he saw were a few enlisted men, three nurses and major Houlihan sitting by herself sipping a cup of coffee.
Grabbing one himself he made his way over towards Margaret's table and sat down in front of her. "Good morning" he said hung over. "Morning Captain" she groggily replied and took another sip of her cold coffee and winced.
"You look like hell Margaret, did you get any sleep?" he asked. The major shook her head as she swallowed another mouthful and placed the cup down. "I couldn't I spent half the night cleaning the office up, Colonel Blake ordered me to. What a mess." Pausing as she looked over Trappers shoulder she noticed Klinger walking in. For a moment she didn't recognize the usually dressed-up man. This morning he was wearing fatigues, something he rarely did except for going on missions.
He had a fixed look on his face and he didn't even see the Captain and Major as he walked passed them and sat down at table by himself in a secluded part of the tent.
"Klinger must be taking this pretty hard; he was the first to discover Radar." Margaret noted and continued. "He was pretty close to him from what I heard." Suddenly remembering Trapper asked "Hey, have you seen Hawkeye? I looked every where for him last night, but I couldn't find him and when I woke up this morning his cot wasn't slept in. He didn't visit Rosie's bar, the Officers Club and the Still hadn't been touched since we filled the flask for the movie last night."
Now concerned Margaret looked up from her cup. "Are you sure? Maybe he slept in the in the Supply tent?"
"No he didn't the Supply tents locked remember you have the keys and besides if he were in any of those other places he definitely would've been to drunk to walk." He replied.
Sighing he stood up feeling a little bit less hung over after the cup full of sludge. "I have to go and find him, we might get wounded later I want to sober him up so he can at least walk." And with that he left the Major with her thoughts.
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A few minutes after Trapper left Margaret decided it was time to leave too. Slowly one by one people drifted into the Mess tent to grab their morning coffee and World War two leftovers. She could hear the quiet conversation between the pairs and groups at other tables, obviously the main topic would be last night's incident and every now and then she could hear a silent sob.
Although not admitting how she really felt about the deceased Company Clerk to others except for Captain McIntyre, she knew how they felt and didn't even realize how well liked he was among the other personnel.
Sighing also she made her way back up to the office which she spent half the night cleaning. Normally she would've got Klinger or some other Corpsman to do it, but for some reason she felt it was her responsibility to do so and not just because it was an order.
It took all of her strength not to be sick at the metallic smell of the room, although working in a MASH she thought that she would've been used to the sight and smell of blood, but then again it was the blood of a kid who she'd only been yelling at hours earlier for entering her tent when she was taking a nap.
Entering the office through the Post-Op doors since the main doors were still firmly locked she heard groaning coming from the Colonel's Office. "Colonel Blake?" Margaret asked cautiously. While cleaning the office as ordered by the Colonel during the small hours of the morning she listened to him go on and on about Radar in a drunken state of mind until he passed out on his desk.
"Colonel Sir are you awake?" she asked again and this time slowly opening the swinging doors.
"Major tell Radar to get me some Aspirin, I have a headache that could split Korea in-in..." Looking around confused he saw the sad look on Margaret's tired face and realized that this time Radar won't be getting him Aspirin ever again.
"It wasn't a dream was it Major?" he asked quietly.
"No Henry, it wasn't." Margaret could feel the tears stinging her eyes.
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CHAPTER TEN
(Radar's POV)
I wanted to follow Trapper and Major Houlihan to the O.R, but something was stopping me. Not physically- but mentality. When I was alive I hated walking in the O.R to give messages or to take another wounded soldier in, ready to be patched up. There was something about that part of the MASH that gave me the shivers and it wasn't just because of the sharp instruments that glimmered in the bright lights, there was something else, something that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
I was the only one at the 4077th that could sense the presence that haunted the O.R and it scared the living heck out of me. One time during our usual deluge of wounded I was helping out by carrying the patients in and out of the O.R.
Me and Klinger carried one of the last patients that were left and I was walking backwards holding up the I.V bottle when I looked past Hawkeye's shoulder and out of the corner of my eye I saw a movement. At first I thought it was a nurse but most of them had washed up and left, so I shrugged my shoulders and kept walking. Then suddenly the room got ice cold like the winters that we get over here, but it was summer at the time and I looked up just as I was going to ask if anybody else felt how cold it got when I saw a ghostly figure standing behind Hawkeye holding a huge knife in his hand. By the stripes on his shirt I could tell that he was a corporal just like me and he had a REAL angry and confused _expression on his face. He looked around the room and was mouthing words but no sound came out as he tried to get someone's attention-but unfortunately he only got mine.
I gasped as I stopped short and poor klinger nearly toppled on top of the patient. The ghost saw that I noticed him and he walked straight through Hawkeye and came after me waving that huge knife. I screamed and I dropped the I.V bottle on the floor smashing it into little pieces as the ghost charged up closer, I couldn't move and Captain Pierce yelled at me. Just before the ghost disappeared as suddenly as he came, Hawkeye pushed me out of the way and he and Klinger placed the patient back onto the table so he could hook a fresh I.V in.
Shaking and pale I ran away, it was all that I could do. I felt really guilty about dropping the bottle and wasting all that blood, but I totally freaked out and vowed to never go in that room again. But of course I had to when the next batch of wounded came in.
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Not wanting to relive another unpleasant incident I decided to look for Hawkeye and the first place I visited was The Swamp. As time moved on I noticed that I had managed to gain more stability with my balance and I wasn't wobbling as much as I did before.
Now standing in front of the tent I automatically tried to knock, but my hand went straight through the door. I sighed knowing that there wasn't any use they can't see me anyway, but I still didn't want to barge in either.
The Swamp was dark and I carefully walked through . "Hawkeye..."I Said "Hawkeye....?" no one was home and I made my way over towards his usual stops.
The camp was quiet and there was no sign of Hawkeye anywhere to be found. I was concerned wondering where he could be, but then over a small hill I saw a dim light flashing near where the mine field was. Panicking I ran as fast I could hoping that if it were Hawk, he wouldn't do something stupid.
The wind had died down quite a bit and now it was just drizzling heavy drops of rain. As I slowed down I saw the hunched over figure sitting on a rock just a few yards from the mine field. The small lamp was leaning against the rock and brightly shone a soft light. I heard quiet sobbing coming from whoever it was as I walked up closer to get a better look.
"Hawkeye!?" I said out loud stunned.
The rain had soaked him through and his wet black hair was matted across is face and eyes. Tears ran down in streams, but I couldn't really tell because of the rain.
"I'm so sorry Radar" he trembled "It's all my fault; I never meant any of the jokes and comments about you. I'm so sorry. If it weren't for me, you'd still be here."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, what I was seeing. My Idol, the man who's saved hundreds perhaps even a thousand lives was crying. Hawkeye was a doctor; he's seen plenty of death and wasted lives over here to last a whole Army of men a lifetime and he was crying because of me, a simple Company Clerk from Middle America who hadn't even heard of Korea until stepping on its soil.
I sat down next to him until the rain stopped and the sun's early morning rays poked over the mountains. Hawkeye was silent as he watched the sun come up, his tired eye's had bags under them and he was shivering from his wet clothing. The lamp's small flame burned out leaving him with only pre- dawn light.
After a while he stood up, but sat down again. He couldn't get up and I watched as he buried his face in his cold hands and started to sniffle. I got up too so I could try and comfort him, but it was no use, just like the other times my hand went through him.
"Please Hawk" I pleaded "Please don't cry, I didn't kill myself I was murdered don't blame yourself." I felt uncomfortable seeing him cry like that, I've never seen him cry before and it was totally out of character.
Another hour rolled by before he finally decided to head back to camp. By now the sun was fully up and he needed to get some sleep. So he slowly walked back.
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