It was late. Picard rubbed his eyes as he glanced over the new roster of potential officers for the various positions now available on his ship.

Everything was different. The Enterprise would go on, of course, without the rest of his beloved senior staff. Now that Captain Riker and Lieutenant Commander Deanna Riker had transferred off the Enterprise. In fact, Picard felt quite lost at the moment. Lieutenant Commander Data was dead, or shall we say, destroyed, and his older, less sophisticated brother, B4 had taken his place by Captain Picard's side. For the last few months, Picard attempted to adapt B4 with the nuances and spontaneity of his younger android brother, to no avail. B4, or Beta as he had been so nicknamed by Commander LaForge, had been uploaded with the memories and experiences of Commander Data prior to Data's destruction. Yet, Beta showed no signs, as of late, to being anything more than a prototype android from Dr. Soong's first schematics.

Lore, Data's older, more sinister brother, had been disassembled several years before and there was no one to even help Beta along with becoming a more self-awared life form or even to achieve sentience. LaForge, however, promised to continue to tinker on his spare time and Picard agreed to continue with Beta's literary and behavioral training. So far, it didn't look promising.

With his first officer reassigned along with Deanna Troi, his new bride, Picard was without half of a senior staff. Commander Data was his first choice for first officer to replace Riker and now all three were gone. It would be another month before Picard finished all the requests for transfer to the Enterprise and to fill both first and second officers of the ship.

Of course there were qualified applicants waiting in line to assume those positions, but for the time being, Picard cringed at the thought of change. After fifteen years with the majority of the senior staff now gone, Picard felt disconnected and uncomfortable, to say the least.

He had two left aboard that kept him grounded during this time of loss: Dr. Beverly Crusher and Commander Geordi LaForge. Both attempted to help Picard with the continuity and the staff rotation change while the captain travailed over his endless list of potential officers.

As he quickly scanned the newest additions to the never-ending list of names, ranks and qualifications, one caught his eye. Dr. Ariana deMarquis, D.Sc., Ph.D., Stellar Science, Quantum Physics, and Interstellar Sociology.

His eyes grew wide at the name. Impossible, he thought, quickly calling up the files on Dr. deMarquis who graduated with honors from Notre Dame. She held the highest seat of the Alumni Assembly, including the notoriety of being a professor at her alma mater. She was a former professor of quantum physics for an elite group of accelerated youth as well. She was noted by saying her greatest accomplishment was acquiring her own research lab in the Orion Belt Observatory.

Recently, Dr. deMarquis requested a chance to further her study as a civilian aboard a starship, preferably one that was still into research rather than combat. The Science Division of Starfleet Academy rewarded her with the honorary rank of Lt. Commander upon completion a two-year tenure at the Educational Department of Applied Science with Starfleet Academy. Last year she had been granted a seat on the Federation Science Counsel and is a regular speaker on quantum physics throughout the galaxy.

Picard pondered a moment at the woman's accomplishments. He smiled. "Your mother would have been proud," he said aloud.

He quickly made a secure transmission to Starfleet Headquarters and to an old friend, Admiral Nacamura, to request his new science officer.

He waited a moment until the familiar face of his friend appeared on his comm panel.

"Jean-Luc?" Nacamura greeted his friend with a smile and a questionable look. "So what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"I want to talk to you about Ariana deMarquis."

Admiral Liam Nacamura didn't seem surprised at his request. "She's not for you, Jean-Luc. I wouldn't call the Enterprise research potential at this given time in our history. I don't think she would be of much use to you given the current status of combat readiness you are constantly under. Besides, she has a child, Jean-Luc and the new policy states . . ."

"Yes, I know, I was the one who recommended the policy, remember?"

"Be honest with me, my friend. What is your real interest in the doctor? Sounds like you are letting sentiment get in the way of your judgment."

Picard tried to ignore the Admiral's remark. "You know that I lost Commander Data during the battle with Shinzon."

"I read your report. It was a great loss to the Federation and Starfleet. I still do not see . . ."

"I am in need of an expert in the science division. Commander Data with his endless library of scientific specs leaves us at a tremendous loss." Picard tried to remain objective regarding the loss of his friend. When Data sacrificed his life for Picard's, he lost more than just a memory bank, but a dear and trusted colleague. Right now he had to remain focused on the point at hand. He needed a science officer that could be spontaneous and versatile.

"Her resume is impressive, Jean-Luc, but she specializes in quantum physics and I don't see how that can help your current assignment."

"Damn it, you're not listening!" Picard shouted with frustration, then immediately toned himself down. "I want her. I have my reasons."

Nacamura seemed just ignored Picard's outburst and merely sighed quietly. "Jean-Luc, don't you think that bringing her aboard would cloud your judgment as her superior officer? Or open old wounds?"

Picard grumbled. "I know very well how to be objective with those I have feelings for. Dr. Crusher can testify to that."

"Jean-Luc, she is a scientist, not an officer. She is not qualified for a post aboard a combat vessel. I'm sorry, my friend, but I must object."

"Does she not possess a degree in interstellar sociology?"

"Yes."

"Then she is well versed in diplomatic protocol?"

"As a scientist, yes, as a diplomat, no."

"The Enterprise is still engaged in many forms of which she qualifies, Admiral. She will not be put on the bridge as an officer, merely an advisor. I'm sure our own research teams would glean a lot from her knowledge, including the science aspect of our enemies. She is well versed in multi-planetary cultures as well as being an archeologist, is that not so?"

"She will not leave her child behind, Jean-Luc. In that she is very settled. You would have to provide the facility to accommodate her and her son."

"We still have qualified teachers aboard, Admiral. I assure you that she and her son will be well cared for here. Remember, we practically raised Wesley Crusher ourselves."

"Ultimately it is her decision. I will not refuse the post if she accepts your offer. However, her presence aboard the Enterprise is temporary until a suitable vessel becomes available. She has every intention of continuing her research in the relative field of quantum science and I will not allow her wishes to be dismissed or reducing her to a permanent advisory position. Is that clear?"

"I'm sure there will be opportunity for her to conduct her research as well as aid me as a science officer. I have no intention of holding her back in any way. I think the exposure would be beneficial. She will be able to travel the stars rather than observe them in a localized environment."

Nacamura nodded. "I have my doubts but I'll agree for now. Have you made a decision about your first officer?"

"Not yet. I have narrowed it down to a handful of requests. So far, I don't know which would better work with my staff."

"You need to choose, Jean-Luc or else they will be assigned to other posts."

"Understood."

"I will discuss your offer with Dr. deMarquis. If she agrees we will have her escorted to the Enterprise in a week. Nacamura, out."

The viewscreen in front of Picard cut off and was replaced by the Federation of Planets logo. He stared at the silent screen for a long moment and wondered what her answer would be. He anticipated her surprise, perhaps even shock that he would request her in the first place. Yet, he also regarded it as an opportunity to see her again, this time as a well polished, well accomplished adult.

He thought back to the last time that he had seen Ariana at her mother's funeral. She was eleven then. Her presence, even in grief, mesmerized and captivated him. He noted the bond they shared, even then. Perhaps it was the love of the same woman that brought them together in grief. Yet, she had so surpassed even her own mother's dreams and accomplishments that it truly made him an admirer of her throughout the years. It was a secret love, perhaps. One that he pondered on occasion as being the life that could have been but never was. For the first time in years, Picard was truly nervous at the thought of her coming to the Enterprise as a member of his crew.

He was well aware of her son and the devastation he had faced by the loss of father in a freak accident before he was born. Somehow it felt right bringing them here, even if it was a temporary assignment. Picard had long since come to terms with his phobias of having children around him. For a brief moment he reflected on the years that Wesley Crusher roamed about the corridors of the Enterprise-D getting into trouble and excelling in just about everything he tried. He had a hand in on the boy's upbringing, which gave him tremendous pride, as if Wesley had been his own son. Now it was time for a new generation to seek out new life and go where no one has gone before.

Picard relaxed the tension in his neck and found a comfortable place and leaned back in his chair to think about what her answer would be.

Meanwhile, at Starfleet Academy Dr. deMarquis received the formal request straight from Admiral Nacamura, himself. She stared in blank amazement at the transfer request. "The Enterprise?" She slowly lowered herself in the chair in front of the Admiral's desk. "Why on earth would he request me?"

The old man before her smiled. "You have to ask?"

"I'm not fit for the Enterprise, my god, is he absolutely mad?"

"I'll admit I was quite stunned myself. The Enterprise is a gallant ship, to be sure, but not much on research since the Dominion War. Honestly, I really think the captain is being sentimental and quite foolish. You have no experience being on a combat vessel." Nacamura hoped he could talk her out of the assignment, knowing that her heart was in research and development for the Federation Science Council.

She sat, mouth gaped at the offer. "I don't understand, why me?"

"I suppose you must ask Captain Picard that question. I've long since gave up trying to figure the man out."

"So you think that I would be foolish to accept?"

"What I think, doctor, is beside the point. This is your call."

"Every cadet dreams of an opportunity to serve on a ship with the name Enterprise, it doesn't seem right, does it?" She attempted to hide her awe and total excitement about the offer. It really wasn't what she had expected, but now that it sat before her, how could she possibly turn down an assignment to work with some of the best officers in Starfleet? More importantly, to work with her childhood hero, Captain Jean-Luc Picard. She was far less the democratic one when it came to matters of protocol. She often found herself bucking the system for the sake of her own tenacious ways, still, the thought intrigued her enough to look into it quite seriously. There was one person she must consult with before taking any assignment; her eight year old son, Dylan, who would accompany her. Though the boy was still quite young he was like she was at that age: impressionable, inquisitive and extremely self-assured. Her son mirrored his father's good nature, not to mention handsome features, but his mind traveled at warp speed, much like her own.

She stood and smiled at the admiral. "Sir, you will have my answer in the morning. "I would like to talk to Dylan about this first."

Nacamura nodded solemnly. "Of course. If you decide to take the assignment you and Dylan will have to be ready to leave in two days. We will assign a flag ship to escort you to the Enterprise."

"Understood, sir." She was about to jump out of her skin as she made an about face and formally left his office. Once in the hallway she let out a squeak of girlish delight. The Enterprise, she thought, how could she turn down an offer like that?

Later that evening, Dylan finished off his dinner and politely asked to be excused from the table when his mother asked that he stay for a moment. She had something to tell him.

Like most eight-year-olds, he grimaced at the thought of a lecture right after he ate. "I didn't do it," he offered and she laughed.

"No, Dylan, you misunderstood me, you're not in trouble."

He lightened up a bit and sighed. "Mom, can't it wait?"

"I have some news and I want your opinion."

He smiled as if she had offered him the moon. "What is it?"

"I've been offered a post as a science officer aboard a starship."

His eyes lit up. "Really?"

"I bet you can't guess which one?"

The boy stared at his mother's bright eyes and wide smile as she glanced in the direction of his display cabinet. He quickly got up and ran to the cabinet and looked very intensely at all the models he had collected over the years. Out of all seventy-five ships, only 6 bore the name of their successor, which was his favorite. As if she could read his mother's thoughts he cheered. "I'm going to live on the Enterprise!"

She giggled out loud. "We leave in two days, son. If it is okay with you?"

For one brief moment she thought she could weep as the young boy leaped into her arms and whispered, "I love you, mom."

It was the first time in two years that Dylan had showed any interest in anything outside of his books and aloneness. She knew that this decision would bring them closer together, in more ways than one. At the moment, she basked in the affection of giving to him something he had always dreamed of, a life she never thought possible. They were going to live on the grandest ship in the Fleet. For her, it was an opportunity to stand face to face with the man she had always admired from afar. Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Though they had met only briefly at her mother's memorial service years ago, there was something about him that awed her as a child. She couldn't quite put her finger on what drew her to him, but it never left her, long after he went back to his ship and she stayed behind in Paris with her Aunt Josephine.

Somehow, she thought, I must make him proud of me. Perhaps then the memory of her mother would live on in her and the lonely captain of a star-fairing life would have someone to love him and prayed for his safe voyage back home.

For Aunt Josephine, she rarely spoke of him, but her silence spoke louder than words. The times she reminisced about her childhood with her sister, she mentioned him in passing with affection and then sadness, as if it said volumes in only moments of conversation.

This of course intrigued Ariana who knew he meant something to her mother to have spent much of their childhood together, especially on digs with her grandfather during summer vacations. Still, something was missing. Perhaps only Jean-Luc Picard had the answers she was looking for.

Though Ariana's childhood was wrought with tragedy by the loss of her father and mother at such an early age, she grew up in a stable, loving environment despite it. She could only hope that she could provide Dylan the same stable environment, filled with advantages of finding his own dreams one day.

Her move from professor of Notre Dame to Starfleet was more for her son's exposure to the advantages of all the Federation had to offer him than just being a scientist in a lab. Dylan was the kind of boy that wanted to soar the heavens in a cockpit rather than compute all the variables of the space-time continuum like his mother. Still, he excelled at both possibilities. His hobby, however, was artificial life forms. So far he had built nearly a dozen contraptions that seemed to have a mind of their own. Including the cat food dispenser that could communicate with the feline on exactly the supplements it desired. He won first prize in the annual science fair last fall with that one. To her dismay, the youngster thought it not a great accomplishment at all, but rather simplistic, even though he was only seven.

Yes, thought the doctor, this adventure was what they both needed. She needed to broaden her experience and put some of that scientific knowledge to work for her in practical application, while Dylan needed to find out what life would be like aboard a starship. Both would find their destiny far from the comforts of home and hearth, aboard a vessel that had a history worthy of the name, Enterprise.

For one brief moment, Dr. Ariana deMarquis felt like she wanted to giggle with childish glee at the thought of what was in store for them in just a few days.

But until then, she had much to do to prepare for the journey ahead.

It was morning and the early chime of the door meant only one thing. Dr. Beverly Crusher waited for her captain to answer to the breakfast bell of 0700.

Like clockwork Beverly arrived for their morning tea and croissant. Today, however, her chime went unnoticed. She stood outside the captain's quarters impatiently waiting to hear the invitation. Nothing.

"Jean-Luc?" she called chipperly. Silence. "Jean-Luc?" her voice a bit more concerned. Still nothing. "Well, captain, if you aren't going to let me in willingly." She tapped in a security code and the door slid open. "Then perhaps I should let myself in." As she stepped through threshold, she noticed the room was still dark. "Jean-Luc?" she called again, this time with more timidity. "Are you still asleep?"

In the adjoining room came a grumble and a snort. "What? Who is it?"

"It's only me, Jean-Luc, who else were you expecting?"

"Oh, Beverly," he yawned. "What time is it?"

"Breakfast."

"I'll be right there," he called back, and she could hear him fumbling to put on his robe and slippers.

"Well, well, captain," she remarked, looking at the half-stumbling man before her. "Late night?"

He yawned again and called to the replicator for tea, Earl Gray, hot and quickly sipped the hot liquid and peered out through one open eye.

"Afraid so," he offered. "I was looking over the requests for transfer. Nacamura is pushing me to make a decision about my new first officer. I have been reviewing files all night."

"I see." She smiled at him and watched the staggering man fumble to his dining chair. "Any luck?"

"Not a dammed thing. I just don't know if I'm ready to take on a new first officer. I was thinking perhaps Geordi?"

"Geordi loves his engines, captain. I'm sure he would be flattered. After all, he started off as a bridge officer. But still, he has grown to love being the head of engineering."

"I'm sure you're right," he managed through another yawn. "Well, there is always . . . you." He laughed.

"No thank you," she replied rather quickly. "I have enough responsibility with the lives on board already. Besides, I don't think I'm cut out for command of our new commission. The Enterprise-D was one thing but now? I feel more comfortable saving lives rather than taking them."

"I know what you mean." He wiped the sleepiness from his eyes and took another sip of his tea. "Life has changed so much since the war. I'm not sure any of us were truly prepared for it. Our mission has always been one of exploration with combat as the last resort. It seems that more and more we are in one conflict after another. Still, these last few months have been rather boring compared to last year."

"I'll say," added Crusher. "But, to tell you the truth, I kind of like it that way."

"Here, here!" Picard toasted her with his cup of half-emptied tea.

Beverly made herself at home, ordering a cup of tea herself and a fresh, hot croissant. "Can I get you some breakfast, Jean-Luc?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, thanks. I don't seem to have much of an appetite this morning."

She took her place next to him and dug into the roll while she examined his expression. "What else is bothering you?"

"Nothing," he offered, yet the doctor wasn't buying it.

"Jean-Luc, regardless of the time constraints on needing to find the perfect first officer, it just isn't like you to stay up all night contemplating over personnel files. What is the real reason why you couldn't sleep?"

After fifteen years the captain knew he couldn't fool the doctor. Not only had they been friends but also lovers, brief as though it may have been. Too many years had gone by for them to know each other's habits and moods. Today, Picard was solemn after being on such a high note the night before.

"Beverly, we have a new science officer coming aboard, hopefully."

She was waiting for the shoe to drop as if he was about to tell her something worthy of a lost night's sleep. After his brief statement she waited to hear the rest, but he said nothing. "That's it?"

"Yes."

"And you stayed up all night because . . ." she probed.

"Because of who is coming, maybe, it's still unofficial."

She slapped his shoulder. "Well, don't keep me in suspense, who is it?"

"Dr. Ariana deMarquis."

Crusher missed the punchline.

"Dr. Ariana Marxianeau-deMarquis."

Crusher's mouth dropped open. "Oh my god, you're kidding, right?"

"No." Picard held his breath. "Her name appeared on the roster within Starfleet's graduates. Honorary, of course seeing that she has completed her tenure as professor within the academy."

"Why would a quantum physicist want to come aboard a Sovereign Class Starship? Wouldn't she be more comfortable on a research vessel?"

"Well, I'm sure she would, but I requested her. In fact, I have no idea if she is willing to transfer to the Enterprise, given its current status. Still, I want her here."

Beverly pushed herself away from the table. "Why?"

Picard shook his head in disappointment. "I knew you wouldn't understand."

"Understand what? That her reputation is impeccable, that she has a list of credentials a mile long after her name, not to mention an impressive amount of accomplishments that far exceed some of the most brilliant minds in Starfleet, or that you are chasing ghosts again?"

Picard became angry. "She is not a ghost, she is real!"

"Jean-Luc, I know you better than I ever have known you in all the years we have served together, both as friends and as colleagues and I know what you think you feel is real because of your experience in the Nexus, but Joviet is dead. You can't bring her back, regardless of what you experienced all those years ago and certainly not through her daughter, no matter how much she may look like her."

"Is that what you think I'm doing?"

"Isn't it?" Beverly turned from him. "Ever since we met the Baku you have been obsessed with your youth. You once told me you had no regrets."

"I don't, not in the way of your accusation. I love my life Beverly, and if I had it to do all over again I would have made the same choices, but the Nexus showed me a part of myself that I had never explored, not even once. Not until that brief moment when I was given the chance to have a family. To have something that I have observed through others, even through you and Wesley.

I know that I cannot replace her parents and I have no intention of doing so, but she holds a piece of my life I left behind that never really mattered until it was all gone. Joviet, Robert, Rene;, my entire family, in that split second, gone. Things can be replaced, Beverly, people can't, and I'm not getting any younger. I don't intend to spend the rest of my life wondering, what if."

Beverly choked back the tears. "You don't even know her. She is a stranger to you, Jean-Luc."

"Everyone that came aboard my ship the first tour of duty was a stranger to me, except for you. Yet, over the years we had become a family, and now even that has dwindled. I have watched officers come and go and rotations change over the years, and for the most part I wouldn't allow myself to grieve the loss of another relationship gone. I held myself back for so long until recently. Ever since Will and Deanna's wedding I've been thinking about this, wondering what would happen if I just let go. I've changed, Beverly. I'm not the man I use to be.

Perhaps it was the Baku that helped me see that I must be willing to live in the moment, because when that moment is gone, it's gone."

Picard began to weep openly. "I miss my family, Beverly. Every day I think I'm going to hear Data's voice over the comm channel or even Will's for that matter. Some days I think Deanna is standing right outside my ready room door or Worf is standing behind me on the bridge ready to protest my orders. They weren't just my crewmates. I've never worked with a group of people for more than a few years until I took the assignment of the Enterprise. I've worked with the crew so long that every part missing seems like a stab at my heart. When the Enterprise-D crashed on Veridian III, so did my entire life. Everything we had worked for, fought for, was gone. For years I've been trying to understand the new protocol of Starfleet Command since the Dominion War. I signed up for Starfleet to be an explorer and in the last five years we have been reduced to merely policing the galaxy and holding back the enemy, if not engaging it, and for what? To see the enemy pick us off one-by-one until we are extinct? That's not how I want to spend the rest of my life, old, warn out and alone."

She touched his hand tenderly. "You still have me. I'm not going anywhere."

He placed a firm hand on hers and squeezed as if to say, I know you will never leave me.

Beverly spoke. "What choice do we have, Jean-Luc? That is the way things are at present, we can't change it or turn back the clock. None of us can. We must press forward and accept the way things are."

"Perhaps we can change things. By bringing aboard new ideas, new possibilities. By showing Starfleet that we can rebuild the Fleet, not just as warships but becoming again what once made us great within the galaxy, as explorers. To seek out new life, new possibilities, not just teeter on one conflict or another."

"Jean-Luc, I know where you are coming from but we have our orders. The Enterprise has been turned over as a combat vessel, not for exploration and science."

"Yes, but that could change if we assemble the right team. I know you think that bringing Dr. deMarquis aboard is sentimental and foolhardy, but if we start there, perhaps Starfleet would see that we can once again be a vessel of diversity for combat readiness and exploration."

"Jean-Luc, I understand your emotional need of finding reason for us being out here on our current missions. I even admire you for trying to put back some normalcy to our lives with the camaraderie that we all once shared in our journeys together, but don't you think that bringing her here would effect your judgment of being her commanding officer?"

"No, absolutely not. Besides I am under orders not to put her in a combat situation on the bridge. She will be here as a scientific advisor for other lifeforms and cultures we may encounter on our travels when necessary and also as our quantum physics specialist. Her research on creating a stable quantum rift is unparalleled by today's standards and her expertise is much needed against our adversaries.

She will work with our science departments, including an internship with your medical staff while doubling as our new science officer to replace Commander Data. Believe me, Beverly, she will be kept busy in all departments and perhaps she will be able to broaden her own field of study through the technology we possess on this vessel. Her vision is needed and I'm counting on you to help her adapt to starship life."

Beverly had to laugh. "Does she cook too?"

He smiled. "Well, I hear she makes a mean batch of chicken-noodle soup."

"Impressive," she added, "but I'm not convinced that she won't be more of a liability to this vessel than an asset without some form of combat readiness. Let alone being a scientist that hasn't logged ten hours on a ship larger than a deep probe research vessel."

"Beverly, I'm asking for your help and your willingness to see her through some of the rough spots, that's all. I know that her presence aboard will take some getting use to after all these years of being constantly on guard and alert with the enemy right at our heels. I'm not asking for you to treat her any different than any other officer onboard, including duty roster and shift rotation. I want her acquainted with everything we do in every department other than weapons and bridge detail. Oh, and, I need a qualified school teacher for her son."

"Son?"

"Yes, she has an eight year old boy, Dylan, I believe."

"She is bringing a child aboard?"
"Yes."

"I thought children were restricted to non-combat vessels?"

"Well, Nacamura made an exception in this case, seeing that technically she is not a member of Starfleet but the Federation Science Council."

"She holds a seat on the Science Council too?" Beverly was flabbergasted. "What is she, a Q?"

Picard laughed. "Not so loud, you don't want him to hear you. That's all we need right now is an unexpected visit by him."

"Q is the least of our worries. Having a child aboard ship makes us even more vulnerable to the enemy. I'm surprised you even want another child aboard, especially now that we are at war."

"I told you, I've changed. I mostly have you to thank for that, and Wesley."

"Wesley wasn't eight years old."

"From what I understand the boy is very well behaved and quite the genius. Perhaps he is more like Wesley in that respect. He also will need some guidance, I'm sure, but for the most part, Dylan deMarquis is an avid reader and stays very much to himself. I don't think we will have to worry about him running around the ship getting into trouble. Every post Ariana has held never deemed Dylan as a child with behavior issues, in fact, quite the opposite. Getting the boy to play and have fun has been the only problem noted of him."

"I have a few ideas of potential tutors but before I make any decision I will have to have him evaluated. Deanna left me a chart on how to develop and evaluate a person's psychological profile. So, I will get to work on refreshing my memory. I will also need their medical records from Starfleet Command. The more I know about them the better."

"Everything is at your disposal, doctor. That is, if she accepts this post."

"Why wouldn't she? As you said, she would have every advantage here for herself and her son. Especially with you on their side."

Picard stared a moment into Beverly's eyes. "Are you jealous?"

Beverly sat erect. "What makes you think I'm jealous?"

"Because I know you all too well and I hear a bit of jealousy in your voice."

"I will have you know, captain, that I am not the least bit jealous of a person I've never met."

Picard said nothing else to counteract her declaration but he couldn't shake the feeling that the thought of him giving his affections to another woman made the doctor quite protective and extremely jealous. At that moment Picard knew that neither of them was quite over the love affair they have had together. Though their relationship had fluctuated through different stages of intimacy over the years, their feelings for each other were very clear. Picard sensed that a younger woman's presence intimated her, even though he had no feelings for Ariana romantically. He made a mental note to make sure not to further the doctor's insecurities by progressing too quickly with the idea that Ariana just may be bold enough to attempt such an assignment and accept his request. Secretly he hoped she would, though he had his doubts. Ultimately he should know in only a few hours what her answer would be.

Josephine opened her villa door to find her niece all smiles. They greeted one another with a kiss and the elder invited her in for tea.

"I was surprised to get your call, Ari and am happy that you were able to make the trip, but I suppose I'm even more curious as to news you have." Before Ariana had a chance to speak, her presumptuous Aunt chimed in again. "Don't tell me, you are getting married?"

"Sorry Auntie to disappoint you, but no."

Josephine flamboyantly shrugged. "Oh well, one could hope."

Ariana quickly took her place on her favorite easy chair and poured herself some tea from the service already laid out on the coffee table. "I have some news about my next post."

Josie seemed to perk up with interest. "Well, child, don't keep me in suspense."

"I have been requested as a science officer aboard a starship."

Josephine sank down to the couch. "Why on earth would you even think of such an assignment? You aren't an officer in Starfleet."

"Yes, well, I do hold the rank of a Lt. Commander."

"Oh, posh!" Josie exclaimed. "You know very well they offered you that rank for your contributions to the Federation Science Council. You have no practical experience aboard a starship."

"True, but like I said, I was asked to take the post. I didn't request one."

"What kind of a captain makes such a request of a scientist?"

Ariana took a deep breath. "Captain Jean-Luc Picard."

Josie's expression said it all. She got up from the couch and began to pace, swearing in French and talking to herself. From what Ariana could make from her babblings was, "It figures, so pompous and arrogant, first Jovie and now Ari. After all these years he is still commanding those around him. Disrupting people's lives and thinking only of himself." Again she swore.

"Auntie, I want to go."

"Oh, of course you do. He crooks his finger and you run after him."

"It's not like that. Why are you saying these things? You have never liked him, why?"

"Liked him?" Josephine bellowed. "I liked him more before he hit puberty."

Ariana laughed. "Mother liked him."

"Your mother was blinded by his charm. I never was. He left your mother after promising to marry her, remember?"

"Auntie, that was sixty years ago, they were young, you said so yourself. He was accepted into the Academy and mother chose to go to Paris and finish her studies. They both agreed to stay friends. Then mother met my father. Ever since I came here to live with you when I was a child you have always held animosity toward him. Every time I've asked you about it you won't tell me why he makes you so angry. You rarely even speak of my father. I would have thought that he would have angered you more than Jean-Luc Picard."

Josephine stopped short of an answer then changed her mind. "Your father was dreamer as well and when your mother got pregnant, he left. They are all the same. Makes no difference if it's Jean-Luc Picard or your father."

"From what mother told me she chose to leave him and not tell him she was pregnant. And besides, I see no reason to punish Captain Picard for the things my father did. Mother had a mind of her own, you know, and I don't remember her complaining about either one of their choices."

"Aye, you are so young and blind," Josephine spat. "So, go on then, follow him, forget your dreams."

Ariana sighed with frustration. "I'm not giving up my dreams, Auntie, I'm just expanding my vision, that's all."

"I didn't know your vision included going into a battle ground. You know what Starfleet is like now. It's all about making war in every star system not about exploration."

She came to kiss her Aunt's cheek. "You're wrong. The captain never would have requested me if he didn't think my skills couldn't be put to use on a starship. Besides, you know I've always wanted to see how the other half live. This will give me the chance to get to know him and maybe get to know mother through someone else's eyes."

Josephine huffed. "She's been gone a very long time, Ari, what does it matter now?"

"It matters to me. I love you and thank you for taking me in and raising me, but she still was my mother. I guess I will never understand the bitterness you feel toward the past. Why do you think I continued on with her research? I loved her very much and believed in what she was doing. I still do, but now I have Dylan to consider and he wants to be a Starfleet officer one day and this is the opportunity I've been waiting for. He is going to get a chance to live in the stars, just like he's always dreamed of. I can't turn it down. This assignment is a once-in-a-lifetime offer. It's what I want to do, at least for now. Please understand."

The woman relented. "I do understand, Ari. More than you will ever know but I will never agree. Jean-Luc Picard isn't one I would put my trust in, regardless of how many years have past. However, my issues with him are not yours. Now sit, finish your tea."

As Ariana took her place again on the easy chair she said, "I have a favor to ask."

Her Aunt didn't look surprised. "Which is?"

"Remember the crate in the basement?"

"Yes," replied Josephine suspiciously.

"I would like to take it with me."

"I knew that was coming. It's yours anyway, be my guest."

They spent the rest of the afternoon making small talk but Josephine remained aloof. She didn't see the point in going any further with trying to convince her niece that following Jean-Luc Picard was a mistake. She had made that mistake before with her own sister and her niece was very much her mother's daughter. She just enjoyed the time they had left together without drudging up old wounds. Josie knew, however, that Ariana didn't know the whole story and perhaps it was time that she did, from the one that started it all.

Picard got word from Admiral Nacamura that Ariana and Dylan were on their way and would rendezvous with the Enterprise in 18 hours. He finally made a decision about his other officers and they also would be arriving soon. Some within the week, some out as far as three weeks. His new first officer had an impressive career thus far and was eager to take his place as second in command. Commander Andrew Bartlet of the USS Excelsior was far more qualified to take his own command but chose to transfer as the newest senior member of the Enterprise crew following a review of his recent accomplishments in conflict with the Borg. His command abilities as well as his character profile made him a prime candidate for compatibility with Picard's own style of command, not to mention a squeaky clean recommendation from his current commanding officer.

Though Picard seemed pleased with his choice, he couldn't help but wonder how Captain Riker was doing with his own crew. He had wished Will would have changed his mind about leaving the Enterprise to pursue his own command. Not that he would have ever begrudged him the chance to take the big seat of his own ship, but that it pained him to let him go. Then there was Deanna. He now had to break in a new ship's counselor, which seemed the worst part of his transfers.

Deanna had recommended another Betazoid to replace her. Dr. Emiline leSant also came highly recommended by the Betazed parliament. Her empathic skills were highly developed. Unlike Deanna who had only been half-human, half-Betazoid, Dr. leSant was a full telepath and a highly sensitive, perhaps too sensitive empath. It did seem the sensible choice. He could only hope she had as much style and grace as his former counselor.

As he prepared the ship's new compliment just arriving from Starbase 113, he glanced up at the handsome group of officers. From ensigns to commanders, he noticed that each seemed determined and quite honored to be serving aboard the finest ship in the fleet. With only a handful of young recruits this rotation, he noticed more seasoned personnel. Lt. Commander Vartok, the Vulcan engineer, Commander Slavik the Russian tactical officer and Lt. Mylon Vosh a veteran pilot. All fine officers with impeccable records to be sure. Dr. Crusher was gaining five more for her medical staff as well.

Picard greeted each one with his speech of high caliber expectations and fond wishes for a grand voyage, hoping each one would find their time on the Enterprise rewarding.

Dr. Crusher stood at his side for more moral support than anything else while Geordi scanned the roster to double check the arrivals and prepare to dry-dock for supply transfers. All official and rather tedious, but necessary.

Beta stood in the corner observing all that was taking place but he neither engaged in conversation nor offered assistance. He was rather deadpanned in his child-like curiosity. Still, Picard thought his interaction was needed to some degree, hoping it would spark a Data-flick of familiarity. The android seemed to take more notice of the imperfections in the titanium hull rather than the organic lifeforms just coming into the shuttle bay. All and all, it was a routine check of little significance to the half-sentient android with little personality.

After the formalities were over, Beverly approached Picard and whispered, "Dinner tonight?"

"Yes, of course," replied her captain, taking little notice in the gesture.

"Eight o'clock?" asked Crusher.

"That's fine."

She showed mild irritation at the cold shoulder but then remembered they were in the presence of others. Perhaps her captain's mind wandered to only a few hours from now when Dr. deMarquis was set to arrive. Beverly attempted to hide her feelings from him. She knew that he was so looking forward to meeting her again and she didn't want to spoil the anticipation. Something ate at her about this arrangement but she decided it was best to just follow her orders and act casual about the whole thing.

It had been several years since a child had been allowed on any starship let alone a Sovereign Class. She remembered what it was like being the newest member of the crew and how uneasy she felt about Wesley disobeying the orders of never coming to the bridge. Jean-Luc really had changed over the years and found the captain perhaps a bit more relaxed with the thought of having the pitter-patter of small feet roaming the corridors of the ship far less intimidating than when she first came aboard herself. Regardless of her personal feelings, she decided not to diminish his excitement by being negative. She would take it in stride and hope, for Picard's sake that he was right in bringing them here.

At eight o'clock on the dot, Beverly arrived for dinner in the captain's quarters. Everything had been prepared and the table set. Jean-Luc greeted her with a wide and endearing smile.

She greeted him with a friendly kiss and snuck a peek around the corner. The lights were dim and several candles were burning on the table. "What's all this?"

"Just dinner." His smile and firm embrace said it all.

"Really? Are you sure you are not trying to seduce me, Captain?"

"Who me?" He took her in his arms and held her close. "I wouldn't dare think about taking advantage of you."

She giggled. "Perhaps it is I that will be the one to take advantage of you."

They kissed again, this time more passionately than before.

"Jean-Luc," she started, "does this have anything to do with curbing my jealousy about your new, young doctor?"

"No, this has to do with us, no one else. I wanted you to know that nothing is going to change between us, no matter who comes aboard. My love for Joviet and even for Ariana will never replace what you and I share. We are first and foremost the best of friends, and on occasion we have even been lovers but my working relationship with you has always been of the utmost respect and admiration. I just wanted you to know that."

"Thank you. I feel the same. I think I always will."

They settled in for a long evening together enjoying each other's company and occasionally dancing in the privacy of his quarters. As the evening drew to a close the intercom in his quarters chirped. "Captain, I am sorry to disturb you but the Federation flagship has arrived with Dr. deMarquis requesting to beam aboard." It was the transporter chief, Dale Marquez.

"Send our greetings, Mr. Marquez," replied Picard, "I will meet them in transporter room three. Picard, out."

"Will you do me the honors of accompanying me, doctor?"

Crusher swallowed hard. "Why not."

With a reassuring squeeze to her hand, Picard and Crusher made their way down to deck fifteen and to the transporter room.

Dale Marquez waited patiently for their arrival and when he heard the door swoosh open he greeted the captain and the doctor with a nod.

"They are ready, sir."

"Good. Let's not keep our new science officer waiting," said Picard, taking on his formal stance.

Dale Marquez touched the transporter pad and in just a few seconds a woman and a young boy materialized in front of them. She was slender and of petite stature, her long locks of auburn hair were pinned loosely behind her coming to rest on one shoulder. Beside her was a very studious looking boy holding a bag in one arm and a wrapped gift in the other.

Picard stepped forward and stared at the woman for a long moment before speaking. He tried to keep his composure of professionalism rather than rushing to her in casual greeting.

"Welcome aboard, Doctor."

She didn't move or say anything at first. She only stared at him with tears in her eyes. "Bon Jour, mon Capitian and thank you for having me." Her English was tainted by a thick French accent, which made her more charming than Picard or Crusher had expected. "You are as I remembered you. I can't believe it's been thirty years."

Picard stared in awe at the resemblance of mother and daughter. "Bon jour," he greeted in return and continued to speak to her in their native language. After a few moments of intimate conversation the captain turned to the young boy still on the platform. "And you must be Dylan."

The youngster stepped forward and gave a respectful greeting in French as well and handed him the gift in his hand. It was a bottle of wine with ribbons tied on the stem.

"Thank you, son." Picard looked down at the bottle for just a moment and saw the familiar label. It was of his family's vineyard, Picard Chateaux Bordeaux. "I don't believe it, wherever did you get this?" he asked.

"Look at the date," offered Ariana.

Picard tilted the bottle to observe the vintage. "Impossible!"

"It's true. This is from the case of wine my grandfather bought from your father the year you were accepted into the Academy. When my grandfather passed away Aunt Josie found it in the cellar and she has been holding onto it ever since. She said I could have it. The rest of the case is waiting to be transported aboard, but it is yours. My gift to you, sir."

Picard was speechless and quite choked up. "I, I don't know what to say."

"My grandfather said that the Picard vineyard was the best wine in France. I heard what happened to your family and the fire. I'm truly sorry. I thought this would be a keepsake as a piece of home."

"And that it is, thank you." He stepped forward this time and gave her a hug. "It means more to me than you realize. Thank you again. And thank you, sir," he said to the young lad. "I hope you will be happy here."

The boy smiled. "It is a dream come true, sir," replied Dylan. "I have always wanted to see the Enterprise up-close. Now, I get to live on her."

Picard ruffled the boy's hair with affection. "She is a grand ship. I'm sure you will learn to love her as I do."

Picard stepped back for a moment and motioned toward Dr. Crusher who waited patiently for her introduction. "This is my Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Beverly Crusher."

With admiration the woman stepped forward and extended a hand to Dr. Crusher. "A pleasure, doctor. I have read so many of your research papers I think I know them by heart. You are a pioneer in your field of medicine, it's an honor to meet you."

Crusher blushed at the compliment and also the embarrassment of what she thought such a scientist of her reputation would be like. The humbleness of such a pioneer herself put to rest all the ill will she first felt about her presence here. Ariana was not just feeling her out or saying empty words. Crusher could sense the woman's sincerity and admiration. "The honor is mine," replied Dr. Crusher. "I look forward to working with you as well."

Dylan stepped forward. "Your son is Wesley Crusher?"

Beverly marveled. "You know Wesley?"

"I met him once several years ago on Earth at the annual junior science fair. He told me my theory on artificial lifeforms was very accurate and he encouraged me to continue in the field. He thought one day that I would be able to meet Commander Data, your android. Is he here?"

Picard looked sadly at the boy. "I'm sorry Dylan but Data lost his life several months ago. He sacrificed himself to save my own life. There will never be another quite like Commander Data, to be sure. However, we have another android aboard named Beta. He is Data's older brother but not quite as sophisticated as Data's programming. Perhaps you would like to work with him on your free time. He needs a lot of work to become a sentient lifeform. Maybe you are exactly what Beta needs."

Dylan's eyes grew wide. "Oh, could I work with him, sir?"

Picard nodded. "I'm sure he would like that."

The boy's grin extended from ear to ear. "Thank you."

He then turned his attention back to the young woman. "We have your quarters ready for you. The rest of your belongings should be waiting for you there. Please, come this way."

The captain and Dr. Crusher escorted them to the center of the living quarters just one deck beneath theirs. Several of the quarters surrounded them remained empty so that Dylan would have several suites to himself as a playroom and classroom as well as living space. The adjoining master suite would belong to Dr. deMarquis which included a large living area and a full kitchen and master bathroom.

Upon arrival Ariana stared in sheer amazement at the size of the accommodations. "So grand," she remarked.

"Because there are no other children aboard at this time, we thought you two needed the privacy and the room. Dylan has his own quarters separated only by a doorway where he will have plenty of romping room. We ask only that if Dylan leaves this wing that he be escorted to the officer's lounge for public meals and entertainment. We have installed a holosuite just across the hall from his room to prevent him from traveling into restricted areas. We also have arranged a private tutor to offer him lessons daily in his quarters as well as planned activities within the holosuite. Of course he is welcomed to the list of programs already loaded in the memory banks. If you need assistance programming any other simulations, Commander Geordi LaForge, our Chief of Engineering will be glad to assist on his free time."

Dylan stared up at the captain with admiration. "You did this all for me?"

"It seemed appropriate since we knew that you would like to do more than just sit in your room. This way you have every advantage on this ship that all the officers aboard have without the danger of venturing to other portions of the ship, which is totally unacceptable considering that we often must be on red alert or enter into combat. When you hear the red alert you must remain in your quarters until you are escorted elsewhere. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir." Dylan knew the seriousness of the captain's voice. "What if I'm sick and I need to see Dr. Crusher or go to sickbay?"

Beverly bent down to answer him. "Then you call me and I will make sure you are tended to immediately unless you are accompanied by an adult." She handed him a comm badge. "This badge is tuned to only those who you will ever need to contact; your mother, your teachers, Geordi LaForge, Captain Picard or me. All you do is tap the comm badge and speak the name of the person you wish to reach and we will answer you."

"But," Picard interrupted. "Only use this badge when it's needed and for emergencies. And son, unless it is urgent, I ask that you practice discretion when calling me. I am on the bridge and otherwise engaged in important ship matters."

"Understood, captain, sir."

"Now, why don't you go and explore your new home while the rest of us talk in here."

He smiled. "Yes, sir!" He made an about face and did just that. It was like a child's greatest wish come true. His own amusement park filled with toys, games, books and anything a child his age could engross himself in. Including a holosuite filled with adventures and imagination. He was so excited he didn't question his orders or even think to defy them. He had no need of anything else in his young life but to enjoy all that was offered to him. Including an android companion named Beta he could tinker with and possibly even play with. It was a boy's dreams come true. He had no problem leaving the grown ups to talk shop. He was in heaven.

"I'm very impressed on how you handled Dylan, Captain," Ariana said. "I believe he understands that this is still a starship and you still have a job to do. I know my son and he will not be a bother to anyone here, I promise that. He is the kind of boy that never complains and he actually likes being alone. I think this setup is quite ideal for his personality."

"Let us hope so," Picard added. "We still do not know this will work out but we have made sure that his interaction with other members of the crew are limited based on need and timing. We run drills as well and it can frighten children when they think we are under attack."

"By the way," Crusher interjected, "when you get settled in I will need to run some routine tests on you and Dylan, just standard procedure. I also must evaluate him with his educational needs so we can provide him the right kind of instructors."

"I will also arrange for Beta to be uploaded with a subroutine to act as guardian over Dylan while you are away on your shift. He isn't much of a Starfleet officer but he makes a great companion."

"You've gone to so much effort to make me and Dylan feel welcomed and cared for, thank you, captain. I believe my decision for coming here was the right choice, especially for Dylan. He hasn't had many male role models in his life. I'm afraid he hasn't learned how to really be around others socially. I'm sure he will adapt just fine and with some guidance, he will make a fine officer one day."

"So, he has decided on Starfleet already?"

"What else is there? Archeology is a rare profession these days, so following in my family heritage isn't practical."

"He appears to love science though," added Crusher.

"That's just a hobby, doctor. His dream is to be a pilot like his father. Although if my mother were alive she definitely wouldn't approve."

"Why not?" Picard asked.

"My father was a pilot in Starfleet. She hated the thought of him being killed I suppose. Then I married a pilot as well and he lost his life. Dylan is determined to prove something I guess."

"As I recall, you had the same determination to continue your mother's work after her death."

"Yes, and it has been a very lonely pursuit, Captain. I have had very little time to devote to anything but my work.

"I'm sure that will change now that you are on the Enterprise. We run a tight ship to be sure, but we always make time for recreation and entertainment. Dr. Crusher is in charge of that department and we try to have concerts, plays, you name it. It helps I suppose to pull away sometimes and just relax."

"Well, I look forward to it then," Ariana grinned. "I love a good concert and I�m just wild about musicals and such. I've done my share of participating in such activities so you can count on me whenever the need arises."

"Thank you," Crusher added. "We are always looking for new talent." She turned her attention toward Picard. "Captain, if you two will excuse me, I have a few patients to tend to before I head to bed."

"Of course, doctor. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast."

Crusher hesitated. "Well, Captain, seeing it is the first night of Dr. deMarquis' arrival, I will bow out gracefully. You three should spend the morning together. I'm sure you have a lot of catching up to do."

Picard didn't object. "Of course, that would be nice Beverly, thank you."

"Don't mention it. Besides, Geordi and I have some tinkering to do on Beta to prepare him for Dylan first thing in the morning."

"I appreciate your gesture, doctor," replied Ariana. "I would love to have breakfast with the captain tomorrow, thank you."

Beverly managed a half-grin and turned toward the door. "My schedule is free tomorrow mid-morning. Perhaps you and Dylan can stop by my office."

"Of course. We'll be there."

"Good." Beverly left them.

Picard waited until the door closed and then stepped forward and embraced her. "I'm very pleased you accepted my offer. I'm very proud of you, Ari. If your mother were here I know she would be too. You have gone far in such a short time."

Ariana nuzzled up against his chest and cried softly. "After all these years, I thought you hated me." She held him tightly.

"I could never hate you, Ari. I know when we met I was in shock, I suppose. Your mother disappeared in the first year I attended the Academy and I had no idea what had happened to her. Your grandfather told me she had run off to Paris to be with her sister."

"I'm sorry I said all those hateful, ugly things to you before you left LaBarre. I wanted you to take me with you and I was angry that you wouldn't."

"I loved your mother very much. From the first moment I saw her in the second grade we were the best of friends. Life just has a way of taking us in a different direction. Back then I was solely focused on my ship and my career. I couldn't see beyond that. Now, I know that whatever took place all those years ago, it's been forgiven. You were hurting and it was only natural for you to believe I was your father and for you to want someone to connect with. Apparently Jovie didn't tell you much outside of the fact that your father was a Starfleet officer and I was the only one to show up for the service."

"I didn't mean to scare you off. I thought if I could just show you that you were my father you would take me with you."

"Had I been your father I think I would have made the same choices and kept you with Josephine in Paris, regardless. But you are here now and I will do all I can to help you, because I do love you, Ari. In more ways than even I understand."

She pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. "Is it because I look like her? Because I remind you of her that I am here?"

"No, of course not. I mean, yes, you are very beautiful but . . ."

"But?"

"But I . . ." Before Picard could finish she raised herself up to kiss him. At first he resisted the temptation of this very attractive, very seductive woman who blinded him by her beauty and the memories flooding his soul. Somehow it seemed inappropriate to allow himself those kinds of feelings for her. She, however, didn't have such objections. The more she pressed against him the more turned on she became. He gave in just for a moment then pulled himself away from her. "I, I must go."

She felt embarrassed. "Forgive me, sir. I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. Please don't leave."

"It's late. You should get settled in and tend to Dylan. We will have plenty of time to get reacquainted, and I have a ship to run."

"Of course you do, how stupid of me." She attempted to make light of it. "Until morning then."

Picard stood motionless, pondering. "Yes, breakfast, of course. 0700 hours then, my quarters."

"Yes, sir." She found herself shaking. "We will be there, sir."

Picard turned and left but not without adjusting himself down the empty corridor. He found that her kiss had aroused more than just old memories. She was definitely her mother's daughter all right, thought Picard. He would have to maintain himself around her for sure. Though he was about seventeen years her senior, he was still young enough to realize the attraction they felt for each other could be a terrible conflict aboard a starship. At that moment Beverly's words screamed at him. You are chasing ghosts, Jean-Luc.

What he was chasing and what he caught perhaps are two different things, now that he knew she was just as attracted to him as he was to her, it just made things a bit more intriguing. This just complicated their newfound relationship even further and made Picard feel very wrong somehow. She isn't Joviet, he told himself as he entered the turbolift. Get a grip on yourself Jean-Luc.

SKIPS FOUR CHAPTERS I'M STILL FILLING IN THE BLANKS

Chapters to include Ariana getting settled

into her new job and Dylan learning

to enjoy Starship life.

Q makes sure the Enterprise is in range to

intercept a faint transmission emanating

from a reopened quantum rift.

With Ariana's help they manage to stabilize

the doorway to allow a ship to emerge.

The story picks up when the commander of the

ship is beamed aboard

Captain Picard's eyes beheld her stunning, ageless beauty. Picard stumbled over the words but he managed a muffled "welcome aboard," and then came to the love of his youth as if this waking dream propelled him closer. Dr. Joviet Marxianeau stood in front of him dumbfounded. He touched her face and wept. "You're alive! Sixty years and now here you are just as if you stepped from the holodeck right out of my memory."

"A holodeck? What is that?" she mused, "and where is Jean-Luc?"

"You don't recognize me?" he asked.

She gave him a bewildered look. "You can't be Jean-Luc, you're old."

He laughed. "And to us, you have been dead for fifty years, so I suppose the shock is mutual."

She stumbled forward. "That's impossible, we've only been in the rift three days."

"Three days on your time scale but here, in this universe, you have been missing for half a century."

Ariana stepped forward and snapped, "This can't be real!"

"Ari, I assure you this is your mother," Picard answered.

"Ariana? On your ship?" She stepped forward to embrace the officer and the lieutenant quickly backed away from her.

"No! You're not my mother. My mother is dead! Captain, I want her examined by Dr. Crusher."

"I assure you darling, I want some answers too." The young woman took another step forward again and touched her arm lightly.

Ariana quickly pulled away from her grasp. "Don't touch me."

"Lieutenant!" Picard retorted. "I will not have a member of my crew being rude to a guest on my ship, regardless of the circumstances, is that understood? "

Ariana tightened up and stood erect. "Aye, sir, forgive me. I would prefer not being taken on an emotional rollercoaster if it's all the same to you, Captain. May I be dismissed, sir?"

"Please," the young doctor begged, "don't go. I won't touch you, I promise. I just want to look at you. The last time I saw you we got into a fight, remember? When I left you on Earth with your Auntie Jo. You were furious with me because I wouldn't take you with me. To think that those were the last words we spoke to each other, and now look at you. You're all grown up, and an officer."

"I'm a scientist in the field of quantum physics," she replied then rage overcame her. "Damn you, Q!" Ariana shouted to the ceiling.

Picard's eyes widened in horror as the sound of his nemesis' name echoed the walls of the transporter room then he stepped forward and with mild astonishment asked, "What did you say?"

"He did this, I know he did." Ariana strained back her tears. "I begged him to bring her back. After the memorial service, when you left, Q came to me and told me she wasn't dead that she was alive in the rift and the portal to this universe had closed behind her. He told me the Continuum wouldn't allow him to interfere. He said mother knew the risks she took and that the rift had to take its natural course, unless I knew someone with a starship with the capability of reopening the rift."

"And then you ran away from home," Picard finished for her.

"And you didn't believe me."

It all started becoming clear to Picard. "The crimes of humanity," he whispered.

With a brilliant flash of light Q manifested in the room. He looked at each one with their own set of questions and then giggled loudly. "Surprise!"

"You!" Picard's nostrils flared.

"I love family reunions!" Q boisterously announced, extending his arms toward the young doctor and respected colleague. "Welcome back, Mon ame," he said, kissing her on the cheeks. I knew you would make it back all right."

Picard's baldhead turned a deep crimson with his rising anger.

She pulled away from Q quickly. "John what are you doing here?"

"John?" Picard fumed. "She knows you as John?"

"Oh please, Captain," Q mocked. "I took that name long before I ever met you."

"What is going on here?" Joviet asked in stunned amazement. "How do you two know each other?"

Picard stepped forward to meet his gaze. "We met 16 years ago on my first mission aboard the Enterprise-D. As I recall it, we encountered this thing on our way to Farpoint Station. Me and my entire crew were put on trial for the crimes of humanity."

"As I recall it Mon Capitain you were charged with the barbarism of your entire race." He began to parade around the room. "And if memory serves me, and it does, that judgment was only postponed, not acquitted."

"You did what?" Joviet asked, horrified.

"So, it wasn't just happenstance that we met that day?" Picard asked.

Q belted a hardly chuckle. "I do nothing by accident, Picard. I found you barbaric, you and your entire race. You come out into space cocky and arrogant thinking that because you have found a way to travel the galaxy that you somehow have mastered it. At least Jovie and her crew took a risk, each factoring in the unknown variables and weighing the consequence for their choices. You and your kind go blathering about like gunslingers throughout the cosmos. Ask her," Q insisted. "Ask her who closed the doorway to the rift to begin with."

Both the captain and Ariana looked at the elder scientist with the silent question.

"The rift doorway was too unstable. Had we not closed it we would have ruptured the space-time continuum. This scenario was worked out long before we ever attempted it in real life. John made me understand a long time ago that the continuum was the most important factor in the multiverse, especially with experimentation. It wasn't Dr. Mannheim's ideas of quantum physics we endorsed. Dr. Mannheim was reckless in his pursuits of knowledge and experimentation. He could care less about the lives entrusted to his theories. I, on the other hand, knew the risks, as John, I mean, Q said. Everyone on my crew knew that if something went wrong, we were willing to close the doorway so that our universe would be safe."

"Q?" Ariana chimed in. "You lied to me! You said you couldn't interfere. I begged you to bring her back to me all those years ago and you said that the course of the universe had to proceed naturally, without interference from the Q, remember?"

"Of course I remember, and I didn't interfere, exactly. I only made sure that this vessel was close enough to intercept the transmission when the doorway was reopened. I had nothing to do with reopening the rift. That was done from the other side by several of your mother's crewmembers. I just manipulated this side of the continuum by your presence here. That's all. I had to wait until the right temporal combination had been entered aboard the Explorer, then I could make sure your mother's vessel exited the rift safely. Had the good captain believed you all those years ago, perhaps we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"You're lying," Ariana accused. "You could have done that years ago yourself."

"No!" answered Joviet. "He's right. He told me the consequences before we planned the experiment. My crew already knew that it would be up to us to stabilize the quantum jump then reopen the doorway. We did it in three days." She looked around and frowned. "Well, three days on our side, anyway. However, our data is extensive. It is possible to create a stable quantum rift if you calculate the variables of each universe then multiply that by the speed on which one travels to and from, taking into account the cosmic signature of each jump." She realized in her excitement she was giving a lecture about quantum realities and quickly bit her lip. "Sorry, habit."

"Had Picard been willing to risk something real back in his galactic cowboy days he would have been able to stabilize the rift on this end and it wouldn't have taken thirty-five years for you to quantum leap back into this universe. Instead, he gave no attention to anything outside of his career or the center seat. Not even love, for which humans are famous for boasting as the romantics of the galaxy. I still believe human beings as a species are barbaric and self-centered. Now that Picard is feeling his mortality rather than having to focus solely on earning the next pip on his collar, he is capable of caring for another human soul. How touching!" Q baited him with sarcasm.

"Damn it, Q, that is a lie!" Picard snapped.

"Is it? Did you care at all that Joviet's father exiled her to Paris after finding out she was pregnant? Or that he disowned her for disgracing the family name while the father of her child was sleeping with every co-ed officer at Starfleet not to mention all the irresponsible carousing on other worlds and bar brawls with Nausicaans. Shall I go on?"

"Oh, Q, stop it!" Joviet cried. "Just stop, okay."

Picard stared deadpanned at the young woman, seeing the shame in her eyes, which held the truth and confirmed some of Q's rendition.

Ariana swore in French then concluded in English, "you're a pig!" then rotated on her heal and without asking permission from her superior, she left the spectacle in the transporter room behind.

Picard watched the fuming officer disappear behind the automatic doors listening to the faint sound of more cussing and yelling in French down the corridor.

Q laughed. "Ari has always been so high strung, you might think about talking to her about her temper, Mon Capitain."

"That is nothing compared to my own, Q, if you do not get the HELL OFF MY SHIP!"

"That's gratitude for you," said Q sarcastically, leaning over and kissing the young woman's hand farewell. "Until we can be alone Jovie, adjure for now." Then in another quick flash Q disappeared leaving the young doctor and the Captain in silence.

Joviet hung her head and turned from his gaze, wiping the straggling tears on her sleeve. "I must see to my crew, Captain."

Picard collected himself enough to reply professionally. "Of course, my officers will make sure your crew is transferred aboard until their families can be contacted and other arrangements made. Thirty-five years is a long time to be out of touch so I know they have some adjusting to do. Every possible comfort will be afforded to them during their say. Your ship we will tow to the nearest Starbase for repairs."

She turned again, this time toward the transporter pad she had just materialized from. "Thank you for your hospitality, Captain, I must return to my ship."

Picard stuttered. "You, you just got here."

She wept openly. "I must go. I don't belong here." She sighed. "I suppose I never did, at least not with you."

Picard leapt forward. "That's not true! I was the fool, not you. Please don't leave."

With such a twist of irony the young doctor chuckled. "I remember the day when I asked you the same thing, like it was yesterday. It was on the Le Grande Jatte."

Picard bit his lip. "I remember. I also remember we fought over it but you never told me why you wanted me to stay. You never told me you were pregnant, why?"

She turned from him again. "Why? Isn't it obvious? That little bit of information would have ruined your life, your career and everything you worked so hard for? You forget I was there during your studies, your exams, when you made it into the Academy. No, I didn't tell you. How could I tell you? We were always so careful when we were together and at first I didn't believe it myself, but it was true and you were leaving and it was over for us. I was scared but not stupid. Not about having our child, I don't mean that, at least she was a part of you I could hold onto. I was scare of my father and what he would have done to you had he known. He had always thought of you as his son. I felt like I would be destroying two families in the process. Your father was such a proud man. Maurice would have demanded that you stay and take responsibility and that would have ended your career in Starfleet for sure. My father would have killed you for sure. I couldn't do it. Not after all the dreams and plans we made. I couldn't see you staying with us and growing to resent us everyday."

She burst into tears and Picard consoled her. "Your love for us would have turned bitter and cold and I would have lost your heart and I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me so or resenting our child for holding you back from your dreams."

He turned her toward him and buried her slender body within his large frame and just held her tight. He could feel her whole body quiver under his touch. It had been a lifetime ago, it seemed that the two found comfort and solace in the other's embrace. Picard smelled the familiar fragrance in her hair of roses and a touch of lavender. Some things never diminish over time. She was still the same vibrant woman he had loved since primary school. Her long locks of auburn hair resembled a brilliant sunset sprayed with a touch of springtime floral. Picard drank her in, savoring the moment.

"Q exaggerated, I was never banished to Paris. I ran away from home. When my father found out I was pregnant he thought it was some art student at Notre Dame." She attempted a laugh. "But Josie knew all along, as well as your mother, though I never told her." Picard was mildly stunned at this new revelation. "Before I left LaBarre Yvette brought me a gift one day. It was your christening gown. She had a little card attached that simply said, "You have always been my daughter and always will be, if you need me I'm here for you". At first I thought it almost spooky at how your mother knew me better than my own father did. Or maybe it was the morning sickness that gave me away, I don't know. You had only been at the Academy a month when I started to show and though your mother would have protected me from my father I think she was also afraid for you as well. We never spoke of it and she neither denied nor confirmed that she knew it was your child I was carrying. When it wasn't so easy to conceal anymore I knew it was time for me to go. Josie found me an apartment in Paris next to her own flat, so, I ran away."

Jean-Luc Picard had been so wrapped up in his first year at the Academy he didn't even have time to wonder why his mother had distanced herself from him emotionally after his first break home. He thought it strange that she had suddenly become so detached and quiet toward him but then again, with all the young cadet had on his mind he could have interpreted that has being respectful to the hours of study he was under.

"I remember coming home and finding you gone. Robert said you had left without even a goodbye to our family. My father said you were like all the other rich girls of the countryside, cultured but cold and unfeeling. I knew that was a lie and that he was hiding his true feelings for you. He had always liked you secretly. He told me you were seen in Paris by one of our classmates at the Café� Musée du Louvre that first summer and that you had married a professor at Notre Dame. I went to Paris to find you in my second year at the Academy. What I found was that I had no right to interfere with your life. You looked so happy the day I saw you pushing a carriage at Le bois de Vincennes. That's the day I said my good-byes to you as I watched you walking with another man and pushing Ariana in her carriage."

She pulled away slightly to gaze up at him. Her tiny stature shook as she laughed. "Jean-Luc, you saw me with John. I mean Q." He was the man I was with. I met him shortly after enrolling at Notre Dame. He was a professor of quantum physics and on the board of trustees for the Science Department. It wasn't until several years later that I found out he wasn't a professor really, but of the Q Continuum. He had been assigned to Earth to observe their progression in the relative field of quantum realities. He said that whenever any being from a world chooses to dabble seriously into the space-time continuum or make any alternations to it, an observer from the Q is required to gather data about that world to see if they may pose a threat to the balance of the multiverse. In essence, the Q wanted to know that if we experimented with time and the continuum were we going to blow up the entire galaxy in the process." She laughed. "I guess it's no different than how we scientists secretly observe other cultures as well when they are venturing toward warp drive."

Picard went numb emotionally. "I suppose not." He gritted his teeth. "You fell in love with him, did you?"

Joviet became very uncomfortable with the question and strained to answer. "I respected John he was an expert in his field and we were colleagues, nothing more."

"Colleagues don't just hang out together on weekends and take strolls in the park with baby carriages." Picard felt a twinge of jealousy, especially given the thought of Q, being the thorn in his flesh for all these years, being there with her intimately. The same Q who boldly proclaims that human emotion and the concepts of love and family were nauseating to him. Q, perhaps, was the greatest actor Picard had ever met and the most flamboyant of omnipotent beings he ever had the displeasure of crossing paths with. First Joviet, then Vash, it was if Q was secretly mocking him with inhuman cruelty. The thought of this being trying him for the crimes of humanity merely to get even with him over Joviet, not to mention putting his crew through hell over the years was a sick and perverted game to play on anyone, immortal or not.

At first Picard thought Q was mildly perverted in his views of human beings based on non-affiliation, but then over the years he began to mellow out into a childlike curiosity, which would equal a youngster pulling the wings off of flies to observe their behavior. Irritating, to be sure. It actually had been over 6 years since his last interference and Picard had hoped he was rid of the menace. Now it seemed, that it was all a ruse, a cosmic stage where he was made the fool. It wasn't Q's curiosity or lack of knowledge being relieved at all but rather a punishment for a crime he had committed against Joviet that drove him to tormenting the man who broke her heart.

Picard laughed with bitter irony. For the first time in 16 years he finally figured out why Q wouldn't leave him alone. Why he had so tormented him, laughed at him, even poked and prodded him. Why he was determined to make a mockery of his ship, his crew and even his personal beliefs then pretend to be a friend and help in distress. He had offered William Riker, his first officer, the opportunity to have the power of the Q and put life and death in his hand. He turned the bridge into a constant circus as well as the wrath of every creature Q had tormented when they housed him for a time after the Q Council stripped him of his powers. He had mocked Starfleet by wearing the pips of a starship captain then paraded himself with eccentric costumes as the judge and jury of the galaxy. Picard was more than just angry he was outraged. Yet it manifested in the oddest form of laughter.

Joviet stood dumbfounded at his outburst and she watched him laugh, then cry bitterly in her arms. "And I thought the Borg was the most degrading thing that could have ever happened to me, being assimilated into a collective hive. I would have gladly given myself to the Borg ten times over to understand what I know now. I've been such a fool. You know, Ari asked me once, right after you had disappeared, if I was her father. She said that her father was a captain in Starfleet and since I was the only one in Starfleet to show up for your memorial service, that made me her father."

Joviet let out a laugh of her own. "I pretended to be married to you. Here I was all but 16 years old and without a husband, talk about the scandal, even in Paris. So I called myself Joviet de Longpre-Picard. Josie thought it was stupid for me to start a new life with a fake past but for a while I got away with it and no one would have know me merely by my first name. When Ariana was born I lost my wits and on her original birth certificate I had accidentally forgot I told them my full fake name. It read: Ariana Yvette de Longpre-Picard. When I went to amend her birth certificate I replaced the name with Marxianeau. Somehow later it seemed wrong removing Picard from her life. After all, she was your child. I guess I didn't want any complications or the thought that somehow it coming back to haunt you later so I left her name as it was. I knew at some point she would be curious because she would recognize that her name was my maiden name and that I had never married her father."

She paused a moment with regret. "I'm so sorry for what Q has done to you. I had no idea he would lash out at you that way."

"Was he just a colleague and nothing more?" Picard probed again.

She slapped his shoulder casually. "We were friends, Jean-Luc."

He laughed. "We were best friends when we were children but we still made love every chance we got. To those from France that's like saying my lover is my friend."

She became angry "I don't want to go there, Jean-Luc, all right? That was a long time ago. Right now I have a daughter who won't let me touch her, a crew who has just missed thirty-five years of their lives. They are waiting for me and are probably wondering if I have been kidnapped or not. My ship that is falling apart and are going no where and now I find out my future has gone on without me, so please, no more questions, not right now." She pointed to the transporter controls. "I need to go back to my ship, Captain."

Through her elusive behavior Picard knew the answer. "Yes, of course," he said. Once you get settled in we will have plenty of time to talk." He put on the professional stance and said, "until later." Then she positioned herself on the transporter pad and dematerialized out of his sight. Once she was gone and Picard was alone, he wept bitter tears in the silence of the room. He didn�t care if anyone walked in or was looking from the vastness of the vacuum of space. He allowed all his raw emotion to manifest and his grief to surface.

He had wished Counselor Troi were here to console him or give him some words of wisdom. He could use some right about now. As he allowed himself to soak in all that had transpired a frightening sound came from his comm badge. It was the screams of a child.

By the time Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher reached Ariana's quarters most of the interior decorations were shattered on the floor and out into the corridor. The young boy continued to cry as they approached the door of the cabin. He stood silent, merely pointing toward the bedroom.

Picard drew his weapon, not sure what he would find inside. Crusher proceeded with caution as she surveyed the room, pushing young Dylan behind her as a precaution. Blood lined the living room carpet and large trails lead into the bedroom. Inside Crusher saw the lieutenant on the floor and the android Beta hovering over the body. His strong hands wrapped around the woman's right forearm and neck. Beverly remembered Geordi's specs on the android that had been reprogrammed to respond like a child of ten. Picard entered in and walked around the edge of the walls to the other side of Beta, who looked confused and disoriented, his grip on Ariana never faltering.

"Beta, sweetie," cajoled Crusher, "what are you doing?" Her voice remained soft and non-threatening.

"Protecting Dylan." Beta replied.

"Protecting him from what?" asked Crusher.

Ariana wasn't moving and Picard was getting concerned. "Release the doctor," Picard ordered.

Beta quirked his head slightly confused. "Must protect Dylan. He is my friend."

"Commander Data!" Picard barked, then realized his error. He lowered his voice. "Sorry Beta, please release Dr. deMarquis so Dr. Crusher can tend to her wounds."

Beta looked up at the captain and frowned. "Beta must protect Dylan. It is Beta's number one duty. You told me so, Captain."

Picard nodded. "Yes. Yes I did. But now your duty is to obey my order and release Ariana into our custody.

"Is Beta in trouble?" asked the android.

Crusher's irritation began to show and muttered under her breath. "Only if she's dead."

Picard gave her a weary dart. "Yes, Beta is in trouble. You shouldn't have hurt Dylan's mother under any circumstances."

"Why?" he asked with curiosity.

The question worried Picard greatly. "I will explain in detail later, Beta. Right now, I need you to release Dylan's mother so Dr. Crusher can examine her.

Beta quirked his head and let go then moved to one side. Before he had a chance to get out of the way, Crusher pushed him over. She went to work immediately with her tricorder. "She has internal injuries, Captain." Crusher moved quickly to stabilizing her vital signs. "She has a fractured skull, four broken ribs, a crushed clavicle. Oh god, Captain, I'm losing her!" Crusher slapped her comm badge in haste. "I'm going to need emergency surgery, now! Beam Dr. Ari deMarquis and myself directly to sickbay."

Before Crusher disappeared she gave her captain a concerned glance. Picard immediately tapped his comm badge. "Geordi, I need you in Dr. deMarquis' room immediately. You need to deactivate Beta. Be sure to bring a security team as well."

"NO!" Dylan yelled. "It was an accident, Captain. He didn�t mean to. Mom and I got into a fight. He was just protecting me."

"Protecting you from what? Your mother?" Picard asked.

"She was angry and she grabbed me because I was acting smart with her. Beta didn't know. Please captain, please don't take him away." Dylan pleaded.

"I'm sorry, son, but until we can assure your safety and the safety of everyone onboard my ship, Beta must be deactivated." "Picard glanced around the room and noticed something out of place. "Where's your collection of ships?"

"Mother took them away from me. She said I would never go into Starfleet as long as she was alive, then she took them."

"When was this?"

Dylan shrugged, "I don't know about three days ago."

The sweat on Picard's neck went cold. "Dylan, did you reprogram Beta?"

"I'e been working with him just like you asked me to."

"No son, have you been reprogramming his subroutines or any of his base routines?"

The boy remained quiet for a long moment. "No, sir." His eyes were fixed on a point of reference next to his bed.

Picard rushed to him and snatched him up to meet his gaze. "Dylan, this is not a joke. Beta hurt your mother very badly, do you understand?" Picard was getting close to losing his temper with the boy. He released him and collected himself, trying to withstand the urge of being too aggressive. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Beta twitch in response to the captain's current posture. "Did you reprogram any of Beta's subroutines, even just a little bit?" he asked again.

"No!" Dylan snapped. "I would never program Beta to hurt my own mother."

"That's not what I asked." Picard gritted his teeth. Immediately he heard the adjacent door swoosh open. Geordi stood, along with three others, two security guards and another engineer. The guards had their phasers out and ready.

"Geordi," motioned Picard. "I want you to run a full diagnostic on all of Beta's sub-routines as well. Find out why Beta would have attacked a fellow officer. Look for any anomalies no matter how small. Make sure his ethical program is still functioning properly as well. I want specific malfunctions documented and any new programs that might have been added to his positronic processors since he has been with Dylan." He turned his attention toward the boy. "You better not be lying to me son or I will personally give you a spanking."

Suddenly the boy lashed out uncharacteristically toward his captain. "You're not my father, you can't tell me what to do!" He attempted to run and Picard rushed after him and took him by the shoulders.

"No, I am not your father. If I were your father I would have taken you over my knee a long time ago. However, since I am your grandfather as long as you are on MY SHIP you will obey my orders, is that clear?" Beta, while docile throughout the confrontation, began to twitch his head and hands keeping a close eye on Dylan. He noticed the officers at the door had their phasers pinned on him and remained unmoved. To do so would mean blasted into a million pieces. Beta, with the mentality of a child, knew that they were in trouble so he chose to remain still and quiet.

Dylan looked at the captain with shock and dismay. "You're not my grandfather, how could you be?"

Jorde managed to keep a straight face but the shock of this new piece of information made the pupils in his electronic eyes widened in disbelief.

"I don't have time to explain. Right now your mother is seriously injured and I must go to her. At the moment I am not inclined to leave you alone here so you must get a hold of yourself and come with me. If you give me one ounce of trouble I will make good on the spanking. Is that understood?"

Dylan swallowed hard and held back his tears. He nodded then replied, "Yes sir."

Picard motioned to Geordi to take care of Beta and he quickly took the boy's hand and made their way to sickbay.

Upon arrival he was quickly escorted into the observation room where they could view the operating room without disturbing the physicians. Picard motioned for Dylan to have a seat then tapped his comm badge. "Picard to bridge."

"Bridge here," came the young voice of Ensign Choe.

"Ensign have the crew of the Explore arrived?"

Choe replied, "Almost all of them, sir. Except for a skeleton crew securing the computer data on board and a team we sent over to restore their warp nacelle."

"What about Dr. Marxianeau?" Picard asked nervously.

"She hasn't arrived yet. She has requested to stay aboard until we are ready to take the Explore in tow."

"Hail the Explorer, Ensign. Tell Dr. Marxianeau she must beam aboard the Enterprise immediately and that Ariana has been injured. Have an escort meet her in transporter room six and bring her to the surgical suite's observation area, and hurry Ensign. Her daughter is in critical condition."

"Aye, sir."

It was after midnight on the U.S.S. Titan. Captain William T. Riker and his wife Deanna Troi-Riker finally had an evening alone together. They had been aboard their own command ship nearly four months now and the routine was finally kicking in. Captain Riker had managed to secure an evening without interruption with his new bride and the two found extracurricular activities in the stillness of their quarters quite enjoyable, though rare.

It had been quite an adjustment for both of them to give up the familiarity of home, family and friends to venture out alone. Though the crew seemed to take to the new commander and his bride, the feeling seemed almost ambiguous to the Rikers who tended to let their thoughts drift back to a simpler time aboard the Enterprise.

Deanna seemed pleased with the ship and her crew and took to the position of ship's counselor, personnel director and relief bridge officer quite well. Still, what looked like the opportunity of a lifetime for both careers, Deanna found in the silence of her immediate approval the ominous reverence to the past. It wasn't easy being a captain's wife and often the duties of her husband required his utmost attention and far fewer hours were spent in the company of the other. Yet, they were together as they both had dreamed of.

While aboard the Enterprise their relationship took on many roles yet they had always been the best of friends. Now they were married with a new ship, a new crew, and a new set of obstacles. Their love had endured much over the years and this was a new test of their loyalty to each other with the added pressure of command duties.

Though their evening had gone without a hitch, both were so tired that their late night together had turned into a quick dinner, lovemaking and lights out by 22:00 hours. They were sleeping soundly in each other's arms when Deanna bolted upright with a scream.

Immediately Will jerked awake to find Deanna sobbing uncontrollably. "Deanna, what's wrong?" Will attempted to shake the exhaustion from his mind so he could clearly understand his wife's terror.

"It's Captain Picard. He's calling out to me. He's in pain, Will. I sense him so strongly."

Will put his arms around her to comfort her fears. "It's just a dream, Deanna. It's all right."

She resisted. "It isn't a dream. It's real. Captain Picard needs me."

"Deanna, I know how much you miss him, miss all of them, I do too, but leaving the Enterprise and starting over was something we agreed would be an adjustment. You've had him on your mind for several days now. I'm sure you dreaming about him means you miss him. I'm sure Jean-Luc is fine."

Deanna turned to him and sank into his loving embrace. "I thought I could handle it, Will. I thought I was ready. I wanted to be ready for you, for your career."

"Hey, wait a minute," he stopped her short, "I would be happy anywhere as long as we're together, you know that. When Captain Picard asked if we would reconsider the commission at the wedding reception you were confident then."

"I know I was, I still am. I just can't shake this feeling Will. It's like I know something is terribly wrong with Captain Picard. It's like he's calling out my name in desperation as though his heart is about to explode with grief. I just sense tremendous pain from him but I don't know why or even what triggered it. It's more intense then when he was mindmelded with Ambassador Sarek or even when we learned of the death of his brother and nephew. He�s always managed to control his emotions, even deep painful ones, but something has changed. It�s like he's falling apart inside."

"Your serious." William concluded, hanging on every word she spoke.

"Yes. Something real is happening, Will. It wasn't a nightmare. I would know in my gut if it was just a dream."

Will sensed his wife's tension and raw adrenaline. She shook under his embrace. Nightmares, regardless of how vivid, don't penetrate to the very fiber of your being.

Immediately he reached over her shoulder to his comm badge on the nightstand and called the bridge.

Lieutenant Rodriguez answered. "Lieutenant, I need you to make an emergency transmission to the U.S.S. Enterprise, Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Please inform me the moment the transmission goes through."

"Aye, sir," replied Rodriguez, then Riker ended his communique.

He knew he needed to find answers and offer his wife some peace of mind. The unending questions Deanna's empathic connection had with Picard so intrigued him. Perhaps at another time he would ask her about it further. Right now, he knew what Deanna needed was love, not probing. Regardless of distance, Deanna hadn't lost the emotional bond she had achieved with Captain Picard during their years together aboard the Enterprise. While Riker cared for Picard much like a son to a father, he couldn't sense if he was in any danger. Perhaps it was the years of being so close to the man that enabled Deanna to remain linked psychologically and emotionally to him. Will admired that gift in Deanna and could trust her instinct and accuracy. Which made Captain William Riker very concerned about this new revelation. If Picard were in some perilous danger, would he be too proud to ask for Riker's assistance? And if not in any danger why would Deanna be sensing him so strongly? It made no sense to him but with a Betazoid such as Deanna, he could only speculate.

He glanced at the clock and noticed it was approaching 1:00 am. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and they laid back down in each other's arms. Deanna seemed satisfied that he had taken action so quickly and rested her head on his chest as if the stress of the dream had lifted. It didn't take her much time to snuggle up to him and get comfortable. In no time Deanna was fast asleep.

Riker lay awake for sometime listening to Deanna breathe deeply beside him. A million things began to roll around in his mind, back to a time where they were a close-knit family on the Enterprise. He wondered what could be so wrong with his former captain to provoke such a concern from his wife. He would find out soon enough and after a while of pondering, Riker drifted off as well.

Dr. Marxianeau rushed into the observation room and straight into Picard's waiting embrace. Regardless of their confrontation in the transporter room earlier that evening, she wanted nothing else but to be held and comforted. Picard filled her in and the boy sitting next to him stared intently at the woman in her late twenties with glaring curiosity, not to mention eavesdropping to find out more about this new arrival.

"No news yet, but Dr. Crusher is an excellent surgeon." Jean-Luc remained intertwined with Joviet's body longer than the young lad felt comfortable with.

"Do I know you?" the boy asked, looking straight-faced at the doctor.

Joviet wiped away her tears and she smiled at him. "No, not yet, but I�m sure you've been told about me from your mother."

That peaked the child's curiosity more. "You look familiar."

Dylan's eyes grew and he swayed backward. "Your younger than my mother."

"Now I am, young man, but when I left this universe, your mother was about eleven years old."

"She told me you were dead." Dylan walked over to her and examined her face. "You two look alike, that's for sure." She reached out and shook his outstretched hand. "I'm Dylan and I'm eight."

"Nice to meet you Dylan," Joviet greeted him.

"Wow!" Dylan exclaimed. "I actually have two grandparents in one night."

Joviet smiled and Picard managed one but his thoughts were only a few feet below. After a few minutes of getting acquainted Dylan yawned. Joviet motioned to Dylan to come and sit on her lap and they talked for a while until Dylan's eyes finally closed. Picard sat next to them halfway listening to their conversation and the other half allowing his mind to wander back through time. As he watched Joviet holding the young boy he wondered what life would have been like watching her love on their children. Of having a home like the one he saw in the Nexus and doing all the things families do together. His mind wandered back to a time where they were in love and were just experiencing joy in another's arms, where their lives were simple and filled with new adventures and afternoon swims together. Picard lavished in the memory of their first real date, which gave way to their first kiss. Oh, to be young again, thought Picard, seeing what life had to offer him. He wondered if she could still love him and give herself to him as she once had.

He would allow himself to open up to her again. To give her what he knew would bring peace to both of their lives. He decided he would hold nothing back from her this time. To be there for her if she ever needed him and offer her all that he could. Secretly he had put her in a place where he could handle the pain and the loss. Now, it seemed that the loss overwhelmed him.

After five grueling hours of emergency surgery on Dr. Ariana deMarquis, Dr. Beverly Crusher and her medical team was finished. The scientist was still unconscious but she was alive. Crusher had repaired most of the damage to her internal organs and broken ribs. She had set her broken right arm and wrist, which would be as good as new in a few days. The fracture to the clavicle cavity was the hardest to repair but the damage wasn't permanent. Two fractures on the base of the skull were closed and there was no brain damage. Crusher gave a sigh of relief when she closed up and had her staff move the doctor into the recovery chamber.

When Crusher arrived to give the good news to Captain Picard, she walked into the observation room and stopped short for a moment. Dylan deMarquis was asleep in a young woman's lap and Picard was talking to her softly and stroking her hair. "Excuse me," Crusher interrupted and the two adults turned to meet her exhausted expression.

Picard stood up immediately. "How is she?"

Crusher smiled weakly. "She's stable and doing well. She's not out of the woods yet, Captain. The next 48 hours are the most crucial."

"May we see her?" Joviet asked.

Crusher looked confused. "And you are?"

Joviet immediately repositioned Dylan's sleeping form and then stood up to greet Crusher properly. She extended her hand. "I am Dr. Joviet Marxianeau, Ariana's mother."

Crusher stood for a moment mesmerized by the woman before her. She wasn't at all what she expected, especially this young and beautiful. Picard recognized Crusher's forced politeness as she shook the doctor's hand to return the gesture. "I'm sorry our meeting is under such circumstances. Jean-Luc has told me a lot about you."

"That's surprising. After all this time I would think your captain would have better things to do than to reminisce his long-forgotten childhood." Joviet managed a weary smile, feeling the tension from the doctor. "Now, about Ariana?"

"Yes, of course you can see her, but only for a moment. She's still unconscious and probably will remain that way for a few days. I've decided to stay with her throughout the night just to be sure her vital signs remain stabilized."

"Thank you. When it is convenient my crew has asked for a chance to get a clean bill of health and contact their families."

"I've read the briefing, doctor. My staff is ready to accommodate your crew's needs. I have already requested their medical records from the Federation Science Council. Everything appears to be in order. Lists of family members have already been acquired. Now we have the task of locating them."

"Thank you, again. However, I have one small request."

Crusher forced another smile. "Of course, what is it?"

"I'm not very fond of medical examinations and prefer not to participate in the ritual if you don't mind. I am in great health as my medical records will show."

Picard was startled. "It's standard procedure, Jovie. There's nothing to it."

"I have my own doctor, Jean-Luc, back home. I would prefer to wait until I return to Paris."

"I thought you would stay on the Enterprise, at least for awhile." Picard's disappointment was quite apparent and Beverly wasn't sure what to think of this new development.

"I can't. I have to return to Paris immediately, then to the Federation Science Council in California to show them our findings. I will check in with my physician when I arrive."

"Your physician may not even be there, Jovie. You're not thinking clearly. You just got here. Now with what's happened to Ariana you can't just leave."

Joviet ran her fingers nervously through her hair. "I really would rather not have a physical just yet. I'm fine."

Picard lowered his voice. "You have been missing from this universe for over thirty years and have been living in a quantum rift for over three days your time, and now you are telling me that you will not submit to a standard procedure such as a physical?"

Joviet frowned, frustrated and embarrassed. "Jean-Luc, can we discuss this later?"

"No, we can't. We have rules about such things and Dr. Crusher has procedures to follow. The safety of my ship and crew are the first priority and unless you want to spend the rest of your time here in quarantine, I suggest you follow the procedure and submit to the examination."

Joviet totally ignored the fact that Dylan was asleep and Dr. Crusher was present. "First of all I don't take orders from you, Captain. Secondly, my ship is under a civilian research classification and not the jurisdiction of Starfleet Command vessels. Thirdly, I have no intention of letting total strangers examine my body without a genuine need or a medical emergency. Now if this is about Ari's demand of a DNA test to prove that I am who I say I am, then tell your good doctor to prick my finger, take some blood and run the damn test, otherwise, you can forget the physical."

Beverly held back laughter at her blatant defiance of Picard's authority. Outside of Deanna Troi's mother, Lwaxana, Crusher was the only one that tended to talk to him like an equal rather than a superior. Apparently the young scientist wasn't into titles or rank pips. She just was determined not to be bullied or take needless tests. Yet, she was the Chief Medical Officer onboard and outranks the Captain when it comes to a medical emergency. Before Crusher could interject Picard was answering for her.

"Then I have no choice but to confine you to quarters." Picard replied flatly.

She turned to Dr. Crusher who was making a point to mind her own business. "I will leave my daughter in your capable hands, Dr. Crusher." Quickly she turned back to face the captain. "I will return to my own ship where I will not contaminate the Enterprise further."

She turned away from him and was headed for the door when the boy stirred awake and yawned, "Where are you going?"

"I am going home, Dylan. You stay with your grandfather. I'm sure he has a straightjacket just your size." The boy's expression contorted.

Picard fumed. "I resent you coming here and . . ."

"Well, that's obvious," she retorted sarcastically, then glanced over to Beverly. "I didn't mean to barge in and interrupt your relationship with the captain, doctor. I can tell that my presence here disturbs everyone involved. I saw the way you looked at me, at him. Please know that I have no ill feelings toward you at all. It's been over between Jean-Luc and me for almost half a century now, as I've been reminded constantly since I came aboard." She turned to her former lover. "But I never thought I'd see the day that Jean-Luc Picard turned into his father!"

Before Picard could protest she walked out. "I am not my father!" he yelled after her.

"What's going on?" Dylan asked.

Beverly came to him and said, "Just grown-up stuff, sweetie, nothing you need to concern yourself with." She glanced at Jean-Luc who was shaking with anger. "How would you like to go and see your mom?"

"Is she better now?" he asked.

"She's sleeping right now but yes, I think your mom is going to be just fine."

Picard stumbled over the words but he attempted to smooth things over with Dylan. "I'm sorry for getting angry with you before. I guess my concern was about your mother and what happened with Beta. I didn't mean to be so harsh."

"Are you really my grandfather?" he asked.

Picard nodded then looked up at Beverly. "Yes, son, I am your grandfather."

Beverly took the boy by the hand and the two senior officers led the way to the recovery room. Inside, to Crusher's amazement, Q was standing over the patient's body.

"What the hell are you doing to my patient, Q?" Beverly snapped.

"I'm examining her myself," replied Q, touching Ariana's forehead.

"Uncle John?" Dylan smiled. "When did you get here?"

"Oh, a little while ago. I heard about your mother and came to see how she was. Don't worry, Sporto, she's going to be all right."

"Q, why am I never surprised at your meddling?" Picard asked.

"Uncle John?" Beverly whispered to Picard as she crossed in front of him.

"I'll explain later, doctor." Picard whispered back.

"You have a lot of explaining to do!" Beverly said through clinched teeth.

"I'd say you gave her a seventy percent chance to pull through. Very good, Dr. Crusher."

"I'm so glad I meet with your approval, Q, now, would you mind?" She pushed him to one side and took out her tricorder. After looking at the results she glanced at Q. "Her vitals have stabilized."

"Well, what do you think I was doing?" Q replied sarcastically.

Dylan came up to Q not caring he was wearing a Starfleet Uniform. "Uncle John, are you going to stay awhile?"

"No, he was just leaving," Picard answered for him.

Dylan glanced at all the adults in the room. "I want Uncle John to stay. Please?"

Q beamed. "You know you might need me to smooth over the mess you've made."

Picard fumed. "The mess I've made?"

"First Ariana now Joviet. My you do have a way with women." The sarcasm was mingled with a hint of devilish glee.

"Q, leave!" Picard ordered through gritted teeth.

Dylan ran over to Q and hugged him. "I want him to stay." Q quirked an ironic smile and gave the boy a playful squeeze.

Crusher was taking this all in and finally had enough. "Look," she said, trying to maintain a firm whisper. "I've spent over five hours in surgery and I'm tired. If you two want to spar, please do so outside. My patient needs some rest and so do I. Dylan, you really need to be in bed."

Dylan protested a moment but then he relented. "Okay, who am I staying with?" Beverly stared a hole through her captain.

Picard groaned. "I suppose temporary arrangements can be made."

"Well, we wouldn't want you to ever be accused of being parental, Mon Capitain. I'll take the boy."

"Oh, don't be ridicules. Where would you put him, outer space?"

"Stop it!" Crusher snapped. "Both of you! Dylan, you are coming with me." She grabbed the boy's hand and escorted him out. "Unbelievable!"

Crusher spoke to the nurse on duty in the sickbay and gave specific instructions for Ariana to be checked every 30 minutes. Crusher told her to call her immediately if anything changed for the worse, but also to make sure that she receives undisturbed rest. She motioned over her shoulder that her current visitors were to be asked to leave as soon as she left. The nurse nodded. Without another word to either of them, Beverly left for her quarters with Dylan in tow.

Back aboard the Explorer Dr. Marxianeau paced her bedroom floor, frantically fighting back the tears she had held in for eleven years. She was more than angry she was hurt and confused, filled with rage and mortified that the life she had once cherished was gone. Three days in the quantum rift and she missed thirty-five years of her life.

Her daughter was now a middle-aged woman who won't get near her or even speak to her and with a grandson who doesn't even know anything about her. Jean-Luc resents her presence and an omniscient super being as her friend who couldn't even bring her back to her own time period.

She bit her right thumbnail nervously then sank to the floor next to her bed. What the hell, she thought, lighting the tip a freshly rolled cigarette. She took several drags off then downed a glass of Faluscian brandy.

A flash of light and Q appeared. "You're feeling sorry for yourself," Q said, taking a seat next to her on her bed.

"Damn right I am, and don't try to stop me," she slurred.

"Stop being so hard on yourself, Jovie. It's not going to change things."

She grabbed his leg and laid her head on it. "Send me back, Q, please? I don't belong here. I'm too young to have a middle-aged child and be a grandmother. I don't even look like a grandmother." She took another sip of her brandy.

Q laughed. "For a human you are rather stunning regardless of how old you are."

"I'm being serious, Q. Besides, you hate humans, remember?" She took another puff of her cigarette then put it out in her brandy.

"No, I hate what humans can do to each other. What you are doing to yourself right now."

"I rarely get into self-pity, Q. I think tonight is a good night for it."

"This isn't like you. You are a fighter, remember?"

Joviet thought for a moment then began to cry. "I don't want to fight anymore Q. I blew it!"

"No, you took the risk. Life is risk, Jovie. Now you have to face the consequences for your choices. It doesn't mean that you have failed."

"How would you know? You've never failed at anything."

Q thought a moment. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. I make mistakes. Being immortal doesn't mean being perfect."

"Well, at least being immortal means you don't have to grow old and die."

"Is that what you fear for him?"

"I'm nothing to him, Q. I guess I never have been. You were right. He found love in the arms of another. Sounds like in the arms of many others." Joviet felt the pangs of despair engulf her. "Yet, that's what I wanted, right?"

"No, what you wanted was someone who would pursue you. Jean-Luc Picard wasn't one who did the pursuing. You were."

"I've been such a fool, Q. Thinking that one day he would find room for me too. When the whole time he could walk away without looking back. I've been holding on to a ghost from my past that never loved me enough to fight for me, for us, our family. Now, it's too late. I've lost my daughter too. I feel so empty."

Q wasn't good at consoling an emotional being. He had made a habit of tormenting such creatures. Yet, he had at one time been her confidant and found his role with her secure in that. He didn't mind that she shared her thoughts and feelings with him. After all, even a Q isn't immune to aloneness. He could at least identify with her on that point.

So, he stayed with her and just held her like he had all those years ago while posing as a human college professor. In the stillness of the empty research vessel, she found solace in his arms.

Picard couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned with thoughts of what had transpired that evening. Why wouldn't she just submit to the examination? Was she hiding something? She didn't seem to mind the thought of the DNA test so it couldn't be that she was an impostor. So, what could it be? And why had she changed toward him all of a sudden? He had believed their talk was harmonious and rather charming. Was it just because of Beverly's presence? Could she sense what they shared and was overcome with jealousy? No matter how much he thought about it he just couldn't figure her out. Then he thought about her beauty and how much he longed to have her next to him again. Was it merely sentimental feelings from a man that was twice her age now? Did she sense an obligation to him without any romantic feelings?

He suddenly felt overwhelmed at the reality of time. He was longing for the Nexus where time had no meaning. He knew he had done the right thing by leaving the Nexus and returning to fight Soran with Captain James T. Kirk by his side. He couldn't allow all those innocent lives to be wiped out by Soran's selfishness of blowing up stars to reach the Nexus. In doing so, Picard lost a sense of himself. He wasn't the hardened space captain of all those years ago. He had changed. As real as the Nexus was, he had created it himself. All the things that he had secretly longed for were right there for him to enjoy and embrace. Then there was Kataan. A world he had experienced by a probe. He lived an entire lifetime in that world with a wife, children and grandchildren. He had experienced what life could be like with simplicity and pleasure, with inner hardships and outer triumphs. His daughter, Meribor was his joy and much like himself. Then there was Batai, his son, who was just like his mother, Eline. His wife encouraged both of their children to pursue what made them the most happy and content. For Batai, it was music. For Meribor it was science. Picard grieved during that year when he realized his memory was merely a probe sent out from that world. He never forgot Kataan or their people, and it was this experience that opened a new world for him. His life there had so transformed the man he was to the man he is now. Funny how such changes affected his sense of purpose, even his needs. Music had become not only an outlet to enjoy but also to experience first hand. He was able to salvage the flute among the ruins of the Enterprise-D. It was a symbol of the Kataan world but also of his life there. He knew no greater joy then when we experienced the birth of his two children, then to experience being a grandfather.

He was a grandfather but not just in his mind or through a probe. His daughter, Ariana was much like him in many respects and yet she possessed the boldness and audacity of her mother. Being both redheads they had tempers to match. Picard was used to the idea that redheads possessed a greater sense of self-confidence than others. He admired that in Joviet and was beginning to see its culmination in their child. Though he had not been there for her as a child he could see her and even his grandson Dylan being a part of the rest of his life.

Then there's Joviet, right out of the pages of his memory, still young, still vibrant, just as he remembered her. If he could find only one relationship he had over the years as the love of his life, Joviet would be it. Their love affair started in the second grade of primary school and ran its course throughout their youth. When he passed his entrance exam into the Academy they celebrated together in the small cottage behind his father's vineyard. She had cooked him a glorious meal, with the help of his mother's recipes, and they spent the day and the evening together talking about being married and their careers about all the children they were going to have and living aboard starships. Joviet talked about wanting a chance to travel to Paris and become a scientist and how their lives would be grand as they traveled the stars together. Between the eating and the daydreaming, they made love as if it was their first time and Picard gave her a ring to seal their commitment.

The ring, he thought. "I gave her a ring and told her I would be back for her. She did try to tell me, I didn't listen." Picard spoke the revelation aloud but it just hit him, that night in the cottage. His mind probed through to that night in the cottage. He could see her in her blue sundress and bonnet his mother gave her for her birthday. She was barefoot in the kitchen making them supper.

"Jean-Luc," came the echo of Joviet's voice. "Come, taste the broth, tell me if it's salty enough." Jean-Luc came into the cottage, wiped off his boots then came to meet her in the kitchen.

With outstretched lips he sipped the broth and smiled. "Oh, that's good."

As if she had conquered the world she smiled gratefully. "I'm glad you like it. Did your father agree to letting us have a bottle of wine tonight?"

Picard frowned. "He says we drink to much of his profits already, but mother gave me her special bottle of Chateaux Bordeaux. She says it will be excellent with our supper."

Jovie viewed the bottle and laughed. "Open it now, let it breathe. Supper should be finished in about forty minutes."

As Jean-Luc put a corkscrew in the bottle he stared at the petite young woman with bare feet. She looked rather charming. "What's on the menu?" He attempted to look under the lids of the pots on the stove.

She quickly slapped his hand. "It's a surprise silly, no peeking."

"And what's for dessert," he grinned, coming up behind her and grabbing her waste. She giggled wildly and turned quickly to meet his gaze. "Or perhaps an hors d'oeuvres." He nibbled on her neck and she squirmed.

"Jean-Luc, I smell like garlic and onions and that's not very romantic." She attempted to pull away but he held her tightly against his chest. "Let me go!" she screamed and he started peeling aside her dress from her shoulder then kissing her neck and shoulder then rolling his tongue along the groves of her armpit. She squealed again, this time with pure pleasure. "Jean-Luc it's not time yet."

He mumbled, "Make the time."

"Do you want a charcoal supper? I can't leave the kitchen."

He looked around the kitchen and realized he could compromise. He quickly ran into the next room and in only a moment he returned with a quilt and spread it over the kitchen floor.

"You've got to be kidding?" she laughed, "Here?"

"We have to work fast," he joked, "I wouldn't want supper to burn either."

"You're crazy!" In a matter of moments they were enthralled in passionate lovemaking on the kitchen floor. Joviet at first resisted, insisting she wasn't ready. "Jean-Luc, I could get pregnant," she said between pants.

That statement only turned Picard on more. "We'll make lots and lots of babies," Picard panted in return. "Or at least have fun trying."

Joviet attempted to pull away from him. "We have to stop, Jean-Luc, I'm serious."

Jean-Luc held her down and kissed her passionately. "Don't worry, Jovie, I may be going into the Academy but I'm coming back for you." She wiggled under him trying to make sure he didn't empty himself inside her but he resisted and held her hips in place. Resolved, Jovie let go and exploded simultaneously with Jean-Luc, savoring in the moment of their intimate pleasure. For that moment in time they were one flesh and it didn't seem to matter that he was leaving in two months for San Francisco or that they had just conceived their first child. Their union shared went beyond the flesh and captured their souls and etched their heart with the other.

After dinner Jean-Luc presented her with a ring having two birthstones, his and hers, and a promise. That he wouldn't forget their love and in four years, upon graduation from the Academy and six months in the field, he would be allowed to bring his spouse on board with him. Then they could marry and be together always.

Joviet held tightly to that dream until that day on the Le Grand Jatte, just a day before he left for Starfleet. Jean-Luc remembered her constantly getting sick and being in a pensive mood. He seemed irritated at her and by the end of the evening they were fighting. She begged him to stay to put off Starfleet for just a year. He had just turned seventeen and was young enough to reapply next spring. Jean-Luc became angry and said she was jealous of his acceptance into the Academy and his success and just wanted to hold him back.

"That's not true, Jean-Luc. I'm very proud of you, you know that."

"You have a hell of a way showing it," he snapped.

"You just told me you would marry me so I wouldn't object to making love to you that day in the kitchen."

"You wanted it as much as I did. You always say no but in fact you have always wanted me to pursue you, to be aggressive. That's how you get turned on."

She turned beet red with embarrassment. "So, you said all those things just because you thought I was playing hard-to-get?"

"We don't know what the future holds for us, why should we plan out our entire future in one night? Can't we just enjoy things as they are and not worry about things that might never happen?" He turned from her accusing stare. "I told you I would come back for you and I meant that, Jovie. I just didn't think that you would go off the deep end and act like you own me or something."

"I've never acted that way. How could you accuse me of such a thing? I've always been supportive of your entering Starfleet and pursuing a career, making captain before you turned thirty that hasn't changed. I . . . " her voice trailed off.

"What?" he demanded. She became very silent and tears started forming in her eyes. Picard could see that there was more to it but wasn't in the mood to pursue the answer. "Forget, okay? I'm going and nothing is going to stop me, especially you." He walked off and they ended the evening early. Joviet never came down to see him off the next day. She just disappeared from his life.

Three months later, Robert, Jean-Luc's older brother, would tell him in a letter that Joviet had left LaBarre and that mother had suspected she left for Paris to study art and science at Notre Dame. He also told him that she hadn't been the same girl after he left for the Academy and rarely visited the Picard Vineyard anymore. Mother had said she had fallen into a deep depression for those first three months and then she just disappeared. News came after nearly a year that she had found someone else in Paris. By the time Jean-Luc came home on holiday, life had changed for all of them. Robert had quit school and started working the vineyard along side their father. Mother had taken ill and wasn't as active as she had been. Some had said that the spark in her just went out after Jean-Luc and Joviet left home. By his senior year of Starfleet Academy his mother would pass away. Many times it seemed that his mother wanted to share something with him but never did. Perhaps she did know and just refused to speak it aloud. Now, all those years ago made sense.

He began to sob uncontrollably and before he got too lost in his grief a flash of light manifested in front of him. Q stood, shaking his head at the sight before him. "You two are quite a pair of water works."

"Get out, Q!" Picard attempted to sound authoritative but he only managed to sound embarrassed, not being able to stop the floodgates.

Q actually felt sorry for him and instead of making some snide comment to bait his nemesis further into hysteria he found himself consoling him instead, to even his own surprise.

Picard thought a moment on what Q just said. "Is Jovie crying?"

"Not anymore, she finally passed out drunk in my arms." Q paused and stared at him. "You know the greatest flaw to being human is pride."

"You think I should apologize for her outburst tonight? Nonsense!" Picard grabbed a handkerchief and blew his nose and Q made a face of disgust. "My suggestion," he started, regarding the procedure of blowing one's nose a nasty necessity, "is to humble yourself, Picard, which is quite a stretch considering your arrogant nature."

Picard laughed with disdain. "So, what you are saying is that this is all my fault?"

Q bent down and got in the captain's face. "What I am saying is she only wanted to be loved by you and you threw her away like yesterday's news. Now, here you are, doing it again. Yes, I tormented you all those years because of her and I would do it again. You are a selfish, egomaniac and I played your game as you expected it to be played out. I became all those things to show you what it is like living with an all-consumed being that puts no one in front of his own wants and desires. I allowed myself to stoop to the human level, perverse as it may be, to show you a mirror and how you reflect yourself to others, Jean-Luc. I gave you an opportunity to rectify your error by bringing her back into your life, and still, all you can think of is yourself. Never mind that she is facing the greatest challenge of her life; far greater than a seventeen year old having her lover's child while he plays Starfleet with a bunch of cadets. Never mind of all the broken promises and heartbreak. Never mind that her own daughter is terrified of the thought that her mother is still alive and that she will have to face all those buried hurts and abandonment. Never mind that she remains in a perpetual state of youth while the universe has gone on without her. You have a chance to make things right, Picard. To repent, to ask her to forgive you."

"I'm not the same boy she fell in love with, Q. I've changed."

Q's expression turned grim. "Yes, you've changed. You have settled for meaningless relationships and a few rolls in the hay. You keep your love so guarded that no one gets into your heart. Dr. Crusher is safe for you because you are friends before you are lovers. Yet even in that you cannot commit yourself to loving just one or being loved by just one. You have to take your heart and shut it away."

"What the hell would you know about that? You have no heart to shut away."

Q grabbed his collar and lifted him off the floor. "I may not have a human heart like yourself, Picard, but feelings are something that even a Q must deal with. The concept of love for us is on a scale that you, as a mortal, cannot comprehend and expands throughout the eons." Q let him down gently. "Okay, let's take Vash for instance."

"Don't go there, Q." Picard warned.

"Why not? Vash is a perfect example of irony, to love and to compete with. I must say that in all the women you bedded, Vash was as close to the real thing as you could get and still you wouldn't commit. Vash had no reason to stay. She knew you were married to your ship. Then there was Nella Darren, remember her?" Picard protested but Q continued. "Did you ever visit Nella on your shore leave like you promised or brought her here to visit? You sent Nella away, did you not?"

"I couldn't put her life in danger again," Picard replied dryly. "She almost died and I couldn't bear the thought of losing her."

"Oh, so that's why you never spoke to her after her transfer, right? Because you loved her so much."

"Stop it, Q!" he demanded. "Enough!"

"I haven't even begun," said Q, pointing his finger at Picard. "You have been running away from everyone who has ever loved you. Why, Picard? Why are you so terrified?"

Picard lunged at him and Q disappeared. Immediately the captain's comm badge sprang to life. Without collecting himself first Picard tapped his badge and yelled, "What is it?"

"Sir?" The voice belonged to Lieutenant Sysco the bridge communications� officer for 3rd watch.

"Sorry, Lieutenant, what is it?"

"I have an urgent communique from the U.S.S. Titan. Captain William Riker."

Picard perked up a little. "Transfer the transmission to my console in my quarters. Be sure to secure the channel, Lieutenant."

"Aye, sir." His badge went silent.

Picard looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and after realizing he couldn�t hide his stress and fatigue went to his desk anyway.

After tapping once on the control panel his screen came to life. Captain Riker appeared, yawning.

"Will, it's good of you to call. What's so urgent?"

"Deanna," yawned Riker, "seems to think something's wrong. I told her I would check with you for her own peace of mind."

"How would Deanna know this?" Picard inquired.

"She's been having nightmares." Riker quickly took a sip of strong coffee and peered into the screen. "Captain, you look like hell. Is there something wrong?"

Picard became evasive. "Is Deanna there? Does she want to talk with me?"

Riker nodded then yawned again. "I didn't get much sleep last night. It's already 5:00 am and I'm due on the bridge. I'm sure Deanna will fill me in. Oh, by the way, Captain, you would let us know if you were in trouble, right?" Picard remained silent and merely nodded. "We are still friends, sir. I wanted you to know that."

"Thank you, Will."

William T. Riker scooted aside and Deanna Riker took his place. Will reached over, kissed her on the cheek and said his good-byes for the day. Deanna waited until she was sure her husband had left their quarters before speaking.

"Captain," she started, "I know something's wrong. I can see it in your eyes."

Picard shook his head. "What you see, Deanna is fatigue. I didn't get much sleep last night either."

"It's much more than that. Don't lie to me, Captain. I know when you are lying."

Picard sat for a moment contemplating what he should reveal. "All right," he said. "I need a mediator, a counselor."

Her expression probed him. "I thought you had replaced me with another Betazoid Psychiatrist?"

"No, I mean, yes, I do have a ship's counselor on board. However, I need," he stumbled over the words, "I need someone that can be objective. That knows me."

"Are you in some kind of trouble with Starfleet?"

"No, nothing like that." He lowered his voice as if someone might be eavesdropping. "It's personal, Deanna. I need you here."

She watched him break. He had only shown that extreme emotion in her presence twice since he had known him. Once when he was mind-melded to Ambassador Sarak of Vulcan and the other was with the news of his brother and nephew's death only a few years ago. Deanna had seen Picard vulnerable before but nothing to the extent of being unable to maintain composure.

Picard pleaded with her. "I can't see this through alone," he cried. "I don't know what to do."

Deanna remained calm but her gut was twinging with the pain of her former captain. "Captain, what about Beverly? Can't she help?"

"She can't be objective, Deanna, she's part of the problem. Not a problem, exactly, just that she is too close to the situation to be mindful of what is best for all of us."

Now Deanna was getting nervous and knew something definitely must be wrong if he couldn't talk to Beverly Crusher about it. She sat back closed her eyes for a moment to get focused then stared back into the view screen. "Captain," she started, "I knew something was wrong. I've sensed this for the last few months and I was hoping that it was just regret and loss of leaving you and the Enterprise. Now, I see that my hunch was correct. If you need me, Captain, Will and I have talked about it this morning. He has given his blessing for me to come back to the Enterprise to help see you through this, whatever this is."

A look of relief and gratitude came over him. "Thank you, Deanna. I don't think I have the skills to know how to proceed, but I don't want to take you from the Titan or from Will's side. I know how important it is for you two to be together."

She smiled. "My day is free," Deanna confessed, "I have cleared out my calendar so we have all day to talk. I don't know who is your next in command but I suggest you take some time off today and we just sit and talk. We'll make that decision about me coming to the Enterprise after you've told me everything, and . . . I do mean everything, Captain. It's important."

Picard nodded then called the bridge. He left word with Geordi LaForge that he was not to be disturbed, then asked Jorde to pass on the message to the Senior Staff, which included Dr. Crusher. However, he did want to be notified in person if there was any new development or changes concerning Dr. deMarquis. Jorde new Picard's tone and merely acknowledged his orders and said they would be carried out.

Picard motioned to Deanna a moment and he disappeared from the comm panel and a few minutes later reappeared with a piping hot cup of Earl Gray.

"Where would you like me to start?" Picard asked.

"Tell me about after we left. What started all this?"

Picard began to fill her in and occasionally Troi's eyes would widen and her expression ranged from mildly amused to genuinely compassionate. She was hanging on every word he said. Several times he lost himself in emotion and he freely allowed himself to grieve in her presence. Troi was there as his anchor and until now she really didn't realize how much her presence meant to him. His grief and the inability he had to release it in a healthy way tore at his heart and made him sick. For the past 72 hours his life had been turned upside down but started the moment he had invited Dr. Ariana deMarquis and her son Dylan aboard the Enterprise, only to find out that she truly was his daughter.

Picard shared with Deanna about the Nexus and also reminded her of the probe from Kataan and the life he had lived in that brief moment in time. How he had grieved the loss of his family and his world, only to realize that it was just the probe and not reality. Then the Nexus called to him in his dreams and the woman in the Nexus was a face he would always remember. It was the face of Joviet Elise Marxianeau, the love of his youth and the mother of his child.

After about four hours of talking, crying and laughing, the two looked at each other over the comm channel and Deanna knew that her place, at the moment, was by Picard's side. Will would understand their friend and colleague was in great need. Deanna agreed to come for a visit and help them adjust to the odd circumstances and also to help the new counselor get acquainted with how Picard runs his ship and what is expected of her as ship's counselor. She admitted, however, that she was excited about meeting his newfound family and also giving Q a piece of her mind. Picard genuinely laughed.

Captain Riker had returned to the cabin. It was lunchtime and he was surprised to see the two still engaged in conversation. "Well, I'm glad to see that you two had a lot to catch up on."

Deanna looked at the clock. "Has it been seven hours already?" She knew she had heard the condensed version of the saga but seven hours? Time passed quickly, she mused with a chuckle. "Captain, where should we meet you?"

Picard thought a moment then replied, "We are headed toward Starbase 626 with the Explorer in tow. Most of the crewmembers aboard the Explorer will disembark there. Joviet is determined to go with them. Ariana is still unconscious and needs time to heal. I can't imagine Jovie leaving her like this, regardless of the tension between them. I have to find someone to look after Dylan in the meantime. I probably will take us about two weeks to reach the Starbase if we are not called into active duty."

Despite Captain Riker feeling like a fifth wheel in the conversation he tapped his comm badge and reached the bridge helmsman. "At warp 7 what is the approximate time to reach Starbase 626?"

After a brief silence and computation the helmsman replied, "One week, three days."

Riker nodded his approval. "Please alter course to Starbase 626, Ensign. Take us there at warp 7. Riker out."

Riker smiled into the view screen. "We will be there, sir."

Picard returned the gesture. "Thanks, Will, I'll owe you one."

Will just laughed. "We owe you, Captain, more than you know."

They finished up and said their good-byes until they rendezvous at Starbase 626. Though William Riker was finding it difficult to let Deanna go away, he knew that if Picard needed her that badly he couldn't turn him down.

After the communique was severed and Deanna sat Will down, she began to fill him in on everything Jean-Luc Picard had shared with her. Needless to say Captain Riker didn't return to the bridge that afternoon either. He spent the rest of the day with Deanna as she poured out her heart and the heart of their friend with stunned amazement. Riker couldn�t believe what he was hearing and certainly understood why his former Captain was falling apart emotionally. That was a lot for any one man to handle. By the end of the afternoon Will had decided that the Titan should stick around Starbase 626 for awhile rather than just dropping Deanna off. To be honest, Will wanted to see the drama unfold himself and to meet the family of Jean-Luc Picard personally.

After Picard had spilled out his heart to Deanna he felt a tremendous burden lift and was able to get some rest. He barely heard his door chime when he stirred. "What?" he asked, still half asleep.

It was Beverly standing in front of him.

"Captain, it's 18:00 hours." She tried to remain professional but the sight of him disturbed her. "Are you all right?" She quickly used her tricorder on him and found that outside of severe stress and fatigue her captain was normal.

"Get that damned thing out of my face," he snapped. "I'm fine. Just that I didn't sleep well at all last night."

"Too bad," she said a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Dylan and I slept great. He's been wondering where you've been all day." She raised her hand before he could protest. "Jorde told me." She watched her captain stagger up and she sat next to him on the bed. "I was just wondering if you needed a friend." She paused a moment then steeped her hands. "Jean-Luc, I realize that I haven't been fair to you since all this started with Ariana and now Joviet. I guess I've been jealous and insensitive." Picard glanced at her with suspicion. She raised her hand up and sighed. "You don't have to say it, I know. Deanna told me that I have added to your stress and . . . I'm sorry. I should have been a friend you could talk to but instead I saw all these changes as a threat. I didn't stop to think how hard it must be for you to adjust to all of this" She laughed at herself. "The truth is Jean-Luc, the harder I've tried to hold onto our relationship the worse I've made it. You had always been able to come to me and talk and I've made that impossible these last few months."

Picard patted her hand. "It's okay, Beverly. I understand. I suppose wanting you to be a part of this when we still have feelings for each other is too much to ask you. I know this has been an adjustment for you as well. I had only hoped that you would understand how important it was to have Ariana and Dylan with me. I had no idea why I was being drawn to her. Only that I had loved her mother once with my whole heart and believed I owed her an opportunity. I had no idea she was my daughter. I mean, there was a part of me that longed for it to be true. I guess I had thought that when I went into the Academy Joviet found love in the arms of another. At least that was the impression I got from my brother Robert. I never would have thought that it was Q who would be that other man."

Beverly couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Q? What do you mean?"

"It's all been a lie, Beverly, everything. Q has been playing me for a fool all these years. You might call it a punishment for the sins of my past."

"I don�t understand." Beverly saw something in her captain's eyes she had never seen before. Utter and total defeat stared at her with an eerie silence.

"He was known to her as John Q Philips an astrophysicist and quantum physics professor at Notre Dame. They met the year I went into the Academy. Apparently he was on assignment from the Continuum to observe the breakthroughs in such fields that tamper with the space-time continuum. He was posing as a human professor to gain such contacts. Joviet was one of them. They became colleagues and then close friends. He was there when my child was born. He held her hand and became her best friend. He was there for her. I wasn't. He watched my daughter take her first steps, say her first words even as she grew he became to her what I had walked away from. Over time Q revealed to Jovie who he really was and what he was doing on earth. He advised her, tutored her in quantum physics and told her that if she pursued her field he wouldn't be able to interfere if anything went wrong. She was okay with that. Yet, even then he knew she was taking risks with no thought to her own life. Q said that back then Jovie was very hard on herself. She often thought of herself as very unattractive and unlovable. She lived her life on the edge but refused to put our child in danger so she often left her with her Aunt Josephine. Q described her as a radical social drinker who often found comfort with alcohol and aloneness, outside of his company, of course. She was a devoted mother and friend with an underlining sadness that pushed her into situations that would be considered dangerous and foolhardy." Picard's words trailed off and he bit his lip trying to share with her his next thoughts.

Crusher could tell how difficult this was for him and remained silently watching his changed expression. She touched his hand for comfort and he took it then began to weep.

"The day her crew decided to pre-test their experiment and attempt to create a stable quantum jump in space was the day Q begged her not to go. He told her she wasn't ready and reminded her of his words of warning. That if anything went wrong he couldn�t interfere."

"So," Crusher added, "he just let her go, knowing the danger?"

"Joviet told him that the Federation Science Council was pushing for results and she was given a deadline to prove their theory or else forfeit the Explorer."

"So she took a leap of faith, literally." Crusher sat next to Picard, stunned.

"When they saw that it wasn't working and the rift was gaining momentum they knew if they didn't close the doorway that it would spread throughout the quadrant and eventually rip a hole in the galaxy. Hundreds of worlds would have been affected. So, they made the only choice they could. To close the doorway and to stabilize the rift."

"Which left them stranded in a time," Crusher concluded.

"Exactly." Picard sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Q knew all along?" Crusher asked.

Her captain nodded. "I guess you might say that he became angry. Not at Joviet's choice to proceed with the experiment but that she was driven to show me that I was wrong about her."

"All this time Q was getting even?" Crusher fumed.

"Apparently our first encounter with him wasn't an accident. He knew I had taken command of the Enterprise and was out to prove that our civilization was barbaric in nature and that our crime was causing destruction throughout the galaxy, that we were hostile and unfeeling to anyone outside of ourselves. I guess I impressed him at Farpoint Station and it intrigued him enough to want to learn more about us, or about me. I'm not so sure which."

"Q has been hanging around all these years just to trap you or mock you, is that it?"

"At first, yes. I think there is a part of him that missed Joviet so much that I was the closest thing to having her back, I don't know. That�s sounds crazy, doesn't it?"

She shrugged. "Not really. I think she is a very extraordinary person. She has a grace about her that is aristocratic with a spirit that is adventurous and daring. I can actually see why you fell in love with her." Crusher smiled lovingly.

Picard squeezed her hand. "Beverly, I don't want to hurt you. You are my best friend and I care a great deal about you and our life together."

Crusher grimaced. "But, you are still in love with her," she concluded for him.

He nodded. "I've tried so hard to push her out of my heart. For so many years I have hidden myself away from everyone. A few times I allowed myself to be unguarded with those that I knew truly cared about me. I guess that is why I've been such a private person all these years. Caught in an emotional cycle of not wanting to be hurt or abandoned, I cut myself off from getting close to anyone. Outside of you, there really hasn't been anyone else that I could just be myself with without reservations. Then I lost Commander Data and I didn't know how to feel about that. At first I thought Data to be a pest with all his questions and dry wit. Over the years I found myself gravitating toward him."

Crusher smiled thoughtfully. "You felt a kinship with him. After all you both were very logical and analytically minded. I can see why Data was a kindred spirit with you. I've watched you change over the years, Jean-Luc and I know that as you are getting older you don�t feel as threatened by love, emotion or family. You have learned to love and to be loved by others. Just like Data." She kissed him softly on the cheek. "At first I was threatened by Nella Darren, remember?" He nodded. "Then I saw how happy she made you and I was pleased that you were able to express your love with someone. I was hoping that you would finally be content."

"Seemed like every time I found someone I was interested in I closed them out of my heart."

"Except for me and that is because we share something that goes beyond the physical. We are friends, Jean-Luc and that isn't going to change. I know that now. I want to see you happy. That's all I've ever wanted for you."

"So, if I was to pursue a relationship with Joviet?"

Crusher choked up. "You would have my blessing."

Jean-Luc hugged her tightly. "I would never hurt you for the world, Beverly."

She attempted to be strong. "I know that. You and I have a love that shouldn't ever be clouded with jealousy or bitterness. I have you and always will and regardless of who you choose to spend the rest of your life with in intimacy, I know I will never lose you." She stood and slowly pulled away from him. "I have patients to look after, I better go."

"How is Ariana?"

Crusher frowned. "No change. Her body is working overtime to heal itself. I don't expect her to come out of it for a while yet. Don't worry. She's going to be all right."

"I owe you my life for saving hers. I don't think I could have handled another loss right now."

"Deanna told me she is coming for a visit. Does this have anything to do with Joviet and Ariana?" He nodded. "I understand. I haven't really been a good listener or very helpful. I think Deanna is the right person for the job and it will be wonderful to see her again. One thing, Captain, there is still the matter of Dylan."

"Yes, thank you for last night. I will be talking to Joviet about that to see if she would take him for now. I think she would be the most appropriate person and this would give them a chance to get to know each other."

Crusher nodded, gave a supportive smile then left him to get dressed for dinner. It was well past his mealtime and Picard had acquired an appetite. He thought of a great peace offering to offer Joviet. He quickly showered, shaved and dressed in his ambassador uniform before heading over to the Explorer with an apology.

Joviet Marxianeau saw the last of the crew dematerialize from the transporter pad. Several shuttlecrafts had recently disembarked with the last of the supplies and necessary equipment transfer. It was strange being on this grand vessel alone. She took a walk through of her ship, now disassembled into a hollowed out shell.

By the time the Explorer was ready for tow, all the computer data had been secured.

She went to main operations and Joviet ran some routine tests on the memory core download then initiated a backup of the core dump.

She waited a few moments until she got the signal. Countdown to backup completion: seven hours, twenty-three minutes. Now, all she could do was wait.

They had played it safe by allowing the Enterprise to do their own core download, which was already completed. However, the data was so extensive and the research documentation so vast, it took the transfer over thirty-hours to be completed. Outside of their mainframe backup systems, the Enterprise held their future and all of their past in their hands. It didn't take Joviet a moment to realize that if anything happened to the Enterprise while engaged in battle, all copies of the data would be lost and their mission documentation, destroyed.

The doctor rubbed her temples and attempted to smooth over her lingering hangover then heard her stomach grumble. She glanced over her shoulder to view the clock on the wall when she saw a familiar figure in the doorway. She turned from his gaze and busied herself at the computer station. "The core dump back up should be complete by the end of the evening. However, we don't have to wait to take the ship in tow if you prefer to get on the way. Outside of barebones the ship is secured, Captain." Picard stood motionless, just watching her. "Aren't you afraid you might be contaminated, Captain?" She asked, still feeling slighted from the night before.

"No," he replied dryly. "I wanted to talk to you. I thought here would be more appropriate."

"I suppose it would. No use creating more of a spectacle on your ship."

"About last night," Picard started, his attitude quite mellow.

"Forget it," she insisted.

"I can't. In some ways, you were right. I did resent you walking back into my life, but not for the reasons you think." She turned to meet his gaze. "I am old and I can't turn back the clock or makeup for all the lost years. Nothing I do will ever mend those disappointments. I did miss out on our life together. I did make you a promise then treated it lightly. I did miss our daughter's birth, her first words, her first date and all the tears that little girl's cry. I missed out on your successes and you missed out on mine. Our lives did revolve around me and my needs and desires. I was very cocky and arrogant back then. I make no excuse for it. I was foolhardy and self-centered and you are right to say that I thought of no one but myself, because that's the truth. However, I'm not the same young kid I was. I realize that it's only been eleven years for you and perhaps those wounds are still fresh and the disappointments still painful. For me, I have lived the last fifty years with many obstacles to overcome and it has taught me a great deal about others. I suppose you might say that I needed some trials in my life to help me cherish the blessings. I have lost many friends along the way and members of my crew in the line of duty. I have seen countless worlds struggle to survive and some that have long since passed away. I have been up-close in the face of death myself many times and have witnessed the birth of over a hundred babies aboard my ship. I have learned to be vulnerable and known when to be cunning and forceful. What I am saying, Jovie is that the Jean-Luc you once knew in LaBarre is gone. I am a changed man." She remained silent and listened attentively. "Now, I don't know how to begin to repair the damage to your heart. The heart I broke. I don't know if you and I can ever recapture what we once shared. I do know I am not ready to let you go. I will let you go if you ask me to. We each have to find our own way and I certainly have no intention of keeping you back or limiting your life by asking you to give up the rest of your young life to care for me. I just know that unless we try to mend those wounds together, our daughter, our grandson and all his children one day, will look back on this time wondering why we allowed pride to stand in the way of love."

Joviet looked away momentarily. "You don't love me," she whispered. "How could you? Look what a mess I've made."

"Well, you've been gone about fifty years so I would say the mess went on without you. It's not your fault, Jovie. You couldn't have known. Ariana is going to come out of this and she's going to just have to learn to deal with the reality that you are here now."

"And you? How are you dealing with me here. . . now?"

He came to her and kissed her passionately. At first she resisted but then she let her slender body mold to his and found herself pressing into him.

"I still remember how you feel next to me," Jean-Luc whispered in her ear. "After all this time I still can remember that. And your hair, always smelling like jasmine, lilacs and roses."

"Jean-Luc," she panted, "we must stop." Jean-Luc had no intention of stopping. He nuzzled her neck just like she liked it. She giggled and her body responded. "Jean-Luc, I'm still twenty-eight years old."

"Uh huh," he replied, not really paying attention to her objections.

"No, I'm serious. You remember the last time we were spontaneous."

The captain thought a moment and shrugged. "That was a long time ago. It's okay now."

"For you or for me?" She giggled.

"Would it be so terrible?" he asked. "Maybe we can start over again, do it right this time?"

"What happened to, 'let's take it slow'?"

Jean-Luc moved her body side to side and continued to caress it with his kisses. She panted again and pulled away. "We can't do this, Jean-Luc, it isn't right."

"What's not right about it?" He really didn't want to know the answer. "I know you've missed me as much as I've missed you."

"I would be lying if I said otherwise." She longed to give into the impulses her body was sending out but her heart still didn't know if she wanted to become emotionally tied in knots again. "Jean, oh man, that feels good. Jean-Luc, you�ve learned some new techniques over the years. Oh, jeeze, Jean this is not a good idea. I don't do good spontaneous anything. Besides, I don't want you to hurt yourself."

He bellowed a laugh. "Huh! Think I'm an old man do you?" He began to tickle her and she couldn't handle it. Her body slipped to the floor and he pinned her. "Let me tell you something about this old man. I work out and I'm totally healthy. I still fence and play racquetball, not to mention I ride horses on the holodeck and exercise every day. I couldn't be better."

"Jean-Luc, I'm in my prime of life here. You can't be serious?"

"Is that a challenge?"

"No, I'm not in the mood for one of your marathons. The last marathon we had was a disaster."

"Besides, your suppose to be mad at me."

"I'm making up." He kissed her again and she found herself slipping backward away from common sense.

"Here?" Joviet thought he was joking.

"Why not? Aren't we alone?"

"Yes, but it's not very romantic."

"Ah, I took care of that." Jean-Luc left her for only a moment and emerged with the bottle of wine he brought and two glasses.

She laughed. "That's not exactly what I meant."

He popped the cork and poured them a glass then handed one to Jovie while he positioned himself next to her.

"To new beginnings," he said, clinking his glass against hers.

"To first love," she answered back and the two drank their wine and talked. After about thirty minutes of staring at each other they could no longer contain it. Joviet let herself go and Jean-Luc did the same. They had been apart for over sixty years but the chemistry was just as much alive in them as it had been when they were young teenagers just discovering what a hormone was.

Throughout the night of lovemaking one of the things that couldn't be forgotten was the thought that their attraction to each other was the very thing that got them into trouble to begin with. Though they looked more like father and daughter, this strange couple found themselves interlocked in passion that spanned through the vastness of time and space and leaped them through the boundaries that had kept them apart for so many years.

Picard lost himself in the moment and realized that regardless of how many women he had relationship with over the years no one was able to make him feel so alive and so potently sensual. It was like a high that no career could match. He longed to wake up to her body next to his for the rest of his life, if he was lucky enough to win her heart again. For now, he would have to settle for her body and soul.

The night before had gone from one ship to the other and the two spent the night christening his bed and hers as well aboard the Enterprise. While she had not been in the mood for a marathon they got very close to breaking their own record. Strangely, Picard was a lot stronger than he looked. Joviet was sure he would tire eventually and finally they would just collapse in each other's arms. It must have been the excitement and also the forbidden passion they withheld from each other that kept them from exhaustion. Old man or not, Jean-Luc Picard had as much fire in him as in his youth. Joviet slept most of the following day next to him until he got a call from Geordi LaForge and had to leave suddenly. However, an hour later Jean-Luc found her naked body exactly where he had left her, in his bed.

He ordered himself some tea and her some coffee then went to greet her exhausted expression as he woke her.

"Go away," she grunted and turned her body away from his. "No more, I give up."

He laughed. "You mean, I win?"

"Never!" she groaned. "I won't give you the satisfaction of winning."

"Well, it doesn't look too promising for you. I'm wide-awake and you are still asleep. It's 14:00 hours, Jovie. I think I've won the marathon."

"If I say 'you win' will you let me sleep?"

He laughed. "Not a chance. I want you to get dressed."

"No, I like being naked, besides, I have no where to go." She pulled the covers over her head.

"I have a surprise for you but it requires clothes." She grunted and he nudged her. "Here's come coffee, just the way you like it."

"Coffee is for someone who desires to wake up. All I want to do is sleep."

He pulled the covers off of her and stared at her petite frame. Her nakedness was firm and supple. He was almost giddy about the thought of having his first love immortalized before him. She was as firm and tight as he remembered her. Jean-Luc felt younger than when he visited the planet of the Baku.

"Okay, but you'll be sorry." He put the cup down on the nightstand and pulled her from the hips until she was half way down the bed. Before he had a chance to engulf her his comm badge rang out. He quickly tapped it. "Picard here, go ahead."

"Ensign Val here, sir. I was just wondering what time you would like to begin."

Picard cleared his throat. "As soon as I arrive, Ensign."

"Understood, sir. One question. When are you going to arrive?"

"Give me thirty minutes, Ensign."

"Aye, sir. Val, out." The comm channel clicked off and Picard continued to stare at his unmoving lover.

"You're going to miss out on all the fun," Picard said.

"Send me a postcard, Jean-Luc. I think I'll sleep this one out."

Jean-Luc was too excited to wait. He pulled her arms and legs until she was in a seated position then began to dress her.

She finally stirred enough to grumble. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to a concert."

"A concert. You're kidding."

"No, now get dressed," he said anxiously.

"Aren't you working me backward, Captain. I thought you are supposed to take me to dinner, a concert, and then make love to me. You're doing it all wrong," she laughed.

"I always go for the dessert first. I'm not getting any younger you know." He smiled and handed her an outfit. "Please come with me."

"Oh, all right," she relented and quickly dressed and fixed herself up to be presentable to the public.

"You look enchanting as ever," Picard marveled. "I've never realized how totally gorgeous you were."

"Nonsense. You watched me change from an awkward child into a full-figured teenager. You always use that line on me."

He came behind her and kissed her neck. "You're right. I suppose it's been too long in coming."

She finished primping then turned to meet his gaze. "Flattery will get you anything you want, mon ami." She kissed him tenderly and he took her more forcefully.

"Keep it up and we will have to miss the concert."

"Not on your life." Picard grabbed her hand and they left before they could start round two.

The holodeck was converted into a theatre and several off-duty officers were the live orchestra. After they were seated front row center the musicians began to play. Le Gaulois by Gaston Leroux was turned into an musical by the late 20^th century and called Le Fant'me de l'Opra's with the music score by Andrew Lloyd Webber making their favorite French novel into a successful, romantic musical. As the opening bar began to play, Joviet's stunned expression was the reaction Jean-Luc was looking for. It was her favorite opera but performed in French as the story was written centuries before. She giggled as they sat back and watched the hologram performers and listened to the live score by skilled ship musicians.

She was in theatrical heaven and marveled at the holodeck's realistic presentation. They sat amerced in the plot, which was forever etched on their minds and hearts. It was the first opera they attended in Paris together on her sixteenth birthday. Jean-Luc's memory and programming skills of Geordi LaForge, his chief engineer was able to recreate that entire performance.

They remained engrossed in the opera and in each other. After hours of pure pleasure and emotional agony the finale was over and Joviet sat overcome by sentimentality.

"You remembered," she finally said through her tears.

"Of course I remembered. My mother bought us those tickets and I had a hard time keeping it from you."

"I can't believe that a hologram can be this lifelike. I thought holograms were only used for family photos and such. I have been gone long."

"Thank you all so much," Picard called after his crewmen. "You did a splendid job."

"Yes, wonderful!" Joviet called out. "We must do it again sometime." She giggled. "What made you think of it, Jean-Luc?"

"I guess being with you again has sparked a lot in me these last few days."

"I thought you deplored opera." She kissed him on the cheek.

"I have acquired a taste for music more now than ever before. You remember how mother use to make me take piano lessons?"

"Do I, I remember had it not been for me you wouldn't have been able to get through the beginner's book."

He laughed. "So true. However, things have changed, Jovie. I just adore listening to the classics and also jazz."

"Never would I have seen the day that Jean-Luc Picard became interested in theatre or the arts. You use to make fun of me as I recall."

"Well, I've learned Shakespeare and have done some acting myself over the years in Dr. Crusher's plays. Data and I use to rehearse for hours and I would sit and watch him try his hand at everything from Ebenezer Scrooge to Macbeth."

"You miss your android friend, don't you?"

He nodded. "We were hoping that Beta could take his place once he was destroyed. Geordi still thinks it's possible. He found the reason Beta attacked Ari and it's not so cut and dry now. He seems to think that he is becoming more sentient and that Data's memory links in his positronic matrix is merging with Beta's programming. It's good to know that Ariana wasn't attacked deliberately."

"Speaking of Ariana, do you think we should go check on her?"

He nodded. "That would be nice. Then some dinner I think."

She laughed. "And more dessert?"

"Absolutely!"

Dr. deMarquis awoke to find herself in strange surroundings. She glanced up to see the diagnostic computer screen next to her bed etching her vital signs from brain activity to respiratory functions and keeping a record of her pulse and heart rate. "What happened?" she whispered, feeling the soreness of her newly repaired throat.

Dr. Beverly Crusher had dozed off in a chair next to her bed and was startled awake by Ariana's voice. Quickly, Beverly stood up then took out her tricorder to examine her patient again. "Well," Crusher replied, "you had a run-in with an android, but I think you are going to be just fine."

"Dylan?" Ariana darted up with fright then realized she had moved too quickly.

"Dylan's fine, Ari, it's you I'm worried about. Your ribs are still tender. Please lay back down."

Ariana resisted. "I must find Dylan," she replied in a raspy and broken up voice.

"No, you need to lie down. I will bring Dylan to you, okay?" Ariana realized that it was futile to argue and her body wasn't responding to her orders to move anyway. After Dr. Crusher finished her initial scans she was satisfied with the results. "You're nearly fully healed, but I would take it easy for at least another week. You've been through a tremendous physical trauma."

Ariana stained to swallow. "My throat is dry. May I have some water, please?"

Beverly smiled. "Sure. I'll be right back." After a few moments Beverly returned with a cool glass of water.

Ariana sipped it and looked at the doctor. "How long have I been here?"

"Oh, about three days. Dylan has been with me and also your mother has been helping out. We are already on route to Starbase 626."

Ariana's expression turned grim. "She can't be my mother."

Dr. Crusher smiled weakly then pulled her chair to Ari's bed and sat down. "Outside of the fact that she hasn't permitted me a physical, according to her DNA test, she is your mother."

The scientist mused. "She wouldn't grant you a physical?"

"Nope," replied the doctor.

"Okay, it's my mother."

"Why would you say that?"

Ariana moved gingerly to prop herself up on her pillows.

"My mother is very quirky about that. It has something to do with her scars. See my mother had us in an unconventional way. My brother died shortly after we were born, something to do with complications or something like that. She chose to keep the scar instead of having them remove it. She's very picky about who examines her."

"You are a twin?" Beverly was astonished.

Ariana nodded. "I guess the scar is a reminder of her loss, both of my father and also my brother. She felt like if she allowed them to remove it, it was like taking away the only part of them she could hold onto. It's her private pain she calls it. I think it's silly holding onto a scar that stabs at your heart every time you look at it."

"I remember when my husband Jack died. Wesley was only a small boy when it happened. At first I couldn't go through his belongs. I quickly put everything in a storage unit and told myself that one day I would allow myself to grieve it fully. Then I got assigned aboard the Enterprise and it seemed like I left the pain back in that storage room. Still, it didn't help me to forget. I had to go through the unit one day, but at least the pain had lifted."

"I guess I envy you," Ariana said, half feeling silly and sentimental.

"Why?" Crusher asked.

"Don't get me wrong, I loved my husband too. I guess I am so acquainted with loss and abandonment that when he died, it was more numbing than pain. I remember feeling lost in a fog and then it just lifted. It was as though I knew that I was destined to be alone. That the one chance I had at a life for myself would be stolen away once again."

For the first time since she had come aboard, Dr. Crusher felt true empathy for the accomplished scientist. It was as if Beverly's blinders were taken off and she could see how painful and lonely Ariana's life had been for her. Regardless of all the successes she had gained for herself, she was still filled with insecurity and fear, loss and unspoken pain. Her world consisted of keeping everyone at an arm's length, not being willing to risk her heart again.

She envisioned her at eleven, refusing to cry at her mother's memorial service. One that would run away from home in search of a father that didn't know she existed and a dream of having a family of her own and how driven she was at such an early age to win recognition and praise from her peers. Ariana deMarquis had accomplished in thirty years what most wouldn't accomplish in a lifetime. Yet, here she was, not realizing how totally remarkable she is.

Then Beverly realized how blessed she had been all these years, knowing Jean-Luc like she did. Without another thought, Beverly began to cry. "I'm so sorry, Ariana. I never imagined how hard life has been for you. I didn't want you to come here, you know."

Ariana smiled. "I know. I knew it the moment I met you in the transporter room. I could sense that my presence was an intrusion on your life with my father. Imagine that. Captain Jean-Luc Picard, my father, it seems more like some bad dream doesn't it? He wakes up one day and realizes he is a father and a grandfather. All these years wasted."

"If he had known," Beverly started.

"No, he would have left me behind, even if he did know. I saw it in his eyes all those years ago. It was like he knew but didn't want to know. He had just taken over the Stargazer as Captain at twenty-eight. He didn't need a smart-allic kid hanging around being his cabin boy. I don't know if he told you or not but he is the one that found me and brought me home after I ran away. I spent two weeks aboard the Stargazer with him and his crew. I thought I could convince him to let me stay. I think his crew liked me. I sang for them and gave a concert. It was a grand opera given in the captain�s honor." Her voice trailed off sadly. "I did everything I could to convince him not to send me back."

"Jean-Luc is a different man now, Ariana. I know that's hard to believe but it's true. I suppose over the years he has experienced things that have humbled him, tempered him a little. I know I've watched him grow into a man that is very gentle and kind, loving and generous. All the things that he wanted to be back then but wasn't. I know the Captain very well and if he knew then what he knows now, things would have been different. But Ari, you can�t turn the clocks back. All you can do is love him now and let him love you now, and Dylan."

"And my mother?"

Beverly stopped short, knowing the difficulty and the reality of their situation. "I guess that's really between them."

"It's just so wrong, Dr. Crusher."

"Why is it wrong?"

"I've been on the Enterprise a little over two months, doctor. I�ve seen the way you look at the Captain. You are in love with him."

Beverly blushed. "We are friends, Ari, of course I love him."

"No, there is more than that between you. I've seen you together."

"All right," she surrendered, "there was more between us once, but our relationship aboard ship is very complicated. We chose to remain friends, nothing more. Besides, I would have thought you would be pleased if your parents got back together."

Ariana grimaced. "Why would I be happy about that? Would it change anything? Turn back the clock? Besides, they would look ridicules now. She's more than half his age."

Beverly sighed. "I know that it seems strange. This whole situation is bizarre, no thanks to Q, but you have to face the reality that they still have feelings for each other. All I've ever wanted for Jean-Luc is for him to be happy, and so should you."

"She is a liar!" Ariana protested.

"She is your mother," Beverly corrected softly.

"She doesn't deserve him." Ariana attempted to sit up again and Beverly gently pushed her back down.

"She is still your mother." As Beverly was speaking the doors to the recovery area swooshed open. There stood Dr. Marxianeau and Captain Picard and immediately Ariana turned from their gaze.

Beverly felt awkward and she just turned to them and motioned for them to come in. "We will talk more later, Ari, I promise." Then she turned her attention back to the new arrivals. "Don't stay too long. She still needs her rest."

Both nodded and Beverly gave her patient an assuring smile then left them alone. Captain Picard came to her first. "I'm glad to see you have come out of it. We were worried about you."

"I�m fine, sir. In fact, I'm almost good as new so I would like to return to my duties as soon as Dr. Crusher gives me a clean bill of health."

"Well, we'll see. I know your department heads have been in lack since you were injured. I'm sure they would like to see you back at your post. However, I wouldn't push it too hard or too fast. Let's just take it one day at a time, shall we?" She nodded but wouldn't look him in the eye.

Joviet approached her bed. "I know this is awkward, Ari, but please hear me out." Ariana quirked her head and with a terse smile and crossed arms she sighed heavily. "I realize that this is a shock to everyone and I know it's going to take time getting use to the idea of me around again, especially at my current age. But, I am still your mother. For me it has only been three months since I left you on Earth with your Aunt Josie and though I realize our dilemma, it doesn't change the fact that I am your mother."

"What do you want me to say? Or for that matter, what do you want me to do? Just jump in your arms and let you hold me? You ditched me in Paris. Why? I became too much for you, for your booming career? Because you wanted to make a name for yourself and I was in your way? Maybe Dr. Crusher is right. Maybe you two do deserve each other. You certainly have the same moral code."

"That's enough!" Picard chimed in. "That's enough of the insults and the attitude. You make a fine officer, Ari but you are lacking in compassion in every other area of your life. Neither one of us has ever said that we were perfect or morally correct when it came to you. I know my mistakes and I have to live with them. We all have to live with them. Including your mother. Now, if I could take us back fifty years I would. I would start again and this time none of us would have regrets. However, I can't do that and I'm dammed sure Q isn't going to fix this one. We just have to start over, right now. Dylan has a right to know his grandparents. I know we were lousy parents to you and that cannot be changed but all we can do is go forward."

"Darling," Joviet comforted, "I think we all just need time. Time to get to know each other. I'm willing to listen to whatever you have to say. All I ask is that you remain respectful. You may not approve of us, but we are still your parents."

Ariana laughed. "Parents? No! I am a parent. You two think because you enjoyed a roll in the hay every other weekend makes you parents?" She pointed to her mother. "You are a liar. You lied to my grandparents. I didn't have grandparents remember? You were so ashamed of me that you didn't even tell MY grandparents the truth. And you!" she accused Picard, "You didn't think there was a possibility that I was yours, not once when I confronted you about it, so I took your word on that. Now I find out that was a lie too."

Picard was slowly getting a headache. "Look, Ari, I know you are upset. I know you are grasping at some reason for all of this. There just isn't any, at least none that we can give you. It's not as cut and dry as you make it out to be."

"You two made sure that I had no life, no family outside of Aunt Josie, who is a cantankerous old woman that ended up hating both of you because of me." Ariana broke down and wept. "Can you even imagine what it was like growing up with her? Having her slam you to my face constantly? I didn't have time to miss you, mother, I just learned to hate you with every bitter word she flung my way over the years. As far as the great Jean-Luc Picard, you had always been my hero even before I ever met you. My Uncle Pierre spoke of you often. Unlike Josie, he remembered how brilliant you were. He is the one who kept the memory of you alive to me. I didn't care if you were my father or not. I just wanted to be with you. That's why I ran away. I was very unhappy in Paris and I just wanted to be with you. I wanted to make you proud of me. Remember on the Stargazer when I gave that concert in your honor?" Picard nodded. "I wanted you to fall in love with me."

"What?" Joviet asked in horror.

"It's true, mother. The first moment I saw him I wanted him to love me. To give to me what he held back from you. I never thought he was really my father. You had only told me my father was a Starfleet Officer. I knew about Jean-Luc Picard from my Uncle Pierre. I never realized they were one in the same."

"Stop this, Ari," Picard demanded through clenched teeth.

"Well, shouldn't she know all of it?" Ariana snapped back.

"All of what? What are you talking about?" Joviet felt numb and confused.

"The real reason why Captain Picard took me back to Paris, to your sister. It wasn't because he didn't want me, it was because he did."

Joviet reacted with repulsion and Picard fumed. "Now wait a minute, damn it, Ari! It's not what you think, Jovie."

"You seduced our child?" Joviet rushed him and pushed him against the wall.

"Is that what you think, mother?" Ariana gloated. "That he seduced me?" She laughed at the look on her mother�s horror stricken face. "I don't think so, I seduced him. Weren't you listening? If I serious thought the man was my father and not just some boyfriend you dumped twelve years early, do you think I would have fallen in love with him?"

"You are not in love with me," Jean-Luc flared with exasperation. "You had a crush. All young girls have crushes. You have to believe me, Jovie. I put a stop to it when it began, nothing happened."

"I don't believe what I'm hearing." Joviet backed away in disbelief.

"What's wrong, Mommy, afraid of a little competition?"

"Damn it, Ari, just stop it! I don't know what kind of fantasies you have had over the years but they aren't amusing and they're damn near cruel. You're only saying this because you are angry with us. Well, damn it, be angry, but don't do this."

Ariana backed off and watched her mother break down into an emotional mess on the recovery room floor. "What have I done?"

"There is no way you could have known." Picard attempted to console her.

"Q told me and I wouldn't listen. I wanted to prove my quantum leap theory so badly that all my judgment went out the window. It's my fault, all of it."

Ariana rolled her eyes and unplugged herself from the diagnostic monitors then walked over to the chair in the corner and picked up the robe Dr. Crusher had left for her. Slipping it on gently, then cautiously moving about the room as not to disturb their conversation, headed out of sickbay and away from the lucid scene. She wasn�t in the mood to spar with either one of them and hopefully she would go undetected enough to make it back to her quarters and back to her life and far away from both of them.

"Where the hell is my patient?" Dr. Beverly Crusher fumed as she walked into the recovery room finding her captain and Joviet Marxianeau interlocked in an embrace and Ariana no where to be found.

They turned to meet her accusatory expression then over to the bed. "She must have left when we weren't looking," Picard answered. "She couldn't have gone very far. Probably back to her quarters."

"In case it has escaped you, Captain, you might think about attending to your crew and your bridge and leave my patients to me."

"Doctor," Picard stood firm, "I can assure your patient is quite well enough to return to her quarters."

"She's right, Jean-Luc. You have a ship to run and I'm in the way. I will take my leave of you now."

Picard grabbed her arm as she attempted to leave. "Dinner, tonight, my quarters. We need to talk."

"Yes, of course we do. Until tonight then." Joviet gave Beverly a harsh but sympathetic glance then left the room.

"How dare you talk to me like that, doctor? I don't care what your personal feelings are you had no right to address me in such a manner."

"I don't think I know you anymore, Captain. Since Joviet has come aboard you have been acting like a smitten schoolboy again. This is still your ship and you are still her captain and until you can get a handle on your extra-curricular activities the entire vessel is waiting to see when the next shoe will drop. If you need to be relieved of duty until you can rightly command this ship again, I will be more than happy to note it in the official log."

"That is enough out of you as well, Doctor." Picard left Beverly standing there without responding to her accusation.

"Deanna, where are you when we need you?" Beverly asked, exasperated.

Captain Picard spent the following week with no further conflict. He remained on the bridge or his ready room and then had dinner and some recreation with Joviet in the evenings. Dylan was staying with Jovie most of the time now so Ariana could recuperate in her quarters in peace. Outside of a daily report from Dylan on how his mother was doing, Ariana had remained hidden away in her quarters without another word to either parent. Dr. Crusher made Ariana promise not to return to duty until she had fully recovered and she agreed. She would remain in her quarters and take daily visits from Crusher, but asked that no one be allowed to see her but her son. Whether Crusher agreed or not, she complied with the woman's wishes.

The tension between the Captain and his chief medical officer remained throughout the week of forced conversation and professional politeness. However, he found himself becoming more protective over Joviet and their time together. They met in his quarters for dinner and then onto the recreation deck and

occasionally on the holodeck. Both enjoyed horseback riding and fencing and they used that time to work out some much-needed honesty between them.

The crew of the Explore settled in and was able to contact their families. Some agreed to meet the Enterprise on Starbase 626 and others would travel back to their home worlds by other means of transport from the Starbase.

During the day Picard acquainted himself with his new bridge crew and first officer and tried to avoid the new ship's counselor as much as possible. However, this particular day she was out to corner him in the turbolift. "Captain, you're avoided me. Why?"

Picard sighed heavily. "It's not you, it's me. I'm just not comfortable around a telepath, especially right now."

"If I make you uncomfortable, Captain, why did you request me as ship's counselor?" The young woman was very beautiful and quite refined. Many of the women of Betazed were often seen as aristocratic and well versed in the etiquette of other worlds. They adapted quite well with other cultures. It was unusual to find someone who was use to being around a Betazoid such as Captain Picard feeling uncomfortable with the idea of having a telepath aboard. "Have you changed your mind about me, sir?"

"Oh, no, not at all. You are wonderful with the crew. I've heard nothing but good things about you since you arrived."

"Then, why are you avoiding talking with me?"

"I'm a very private person, Counselor. Deanna Troi was my ship's counselor for more than fifteen years and I'm just not comfortable yet with someone new."

"So, that's why you called Commander Troi to talk about your dilemma with your family and why she is meeting you at Starbase 626, correct?" Picard looked shocked and she pointed to her head. "Telepath, remember?" Picard suddenly felt embarrassed. "Look, I understand, Captain. I know how close you and Deanna were and if I were you, I would want to talk to my friend, not a stranger about all the new events that have taken place in your life. That, sir does not threaten me in fact I think it's rather charming and appropriate. Honestly, I wouldn't know how to advise you really. You were right in calling her."

Picard found a new and genuine respect for Dr. Emiline leSant. "Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate your sensitivity. I guess I didn't know if I was ready to open up to another person yet. I can tell that you are sensitive enough to know when not to ask questions."

"Most of the time, Captain, I don't need to ask questions, however, not all of us are like Lwaxana Troi who just blurt out what others are thinking and feeling. I am a professional and I don't get involved unless I am invited."

The captain laughed. "Of course not, how stupid of me."

"Not at all, sir. You just need your friends right now. I hope we can be friends but I know that's going to take time. It's okay."

The lift doors opened and leSant exited then turned to face her captain. "If you need me, I'm here for you. I just want you to know that."

"Thank you, Doctor." Picard nodded slightly and the lift doors closed. He was worried about nothing. He just assumed that having a full telepath aboard would be too unnerving and disconcerting during this time of his jumbled up emotions. He allowed himself a chuckle as the lift took him to his destination of Joviet's deck. He thought He would surprise her with a rematch and dinner on the holodeck.

When the lift doors opened Dylan was standing there. "Grandpa," he said with excitement. "Can I go to the holodeck with you tonight, please?"

"I thought you wanted to go back to your own quarters while we were together?"

The boy looked disappointed. "Do I have to? All mama does is lay in bed and cry. I didn't think anyone could cry so much. I just don't want to go back there tonight, okay?"

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner?" Picard led the boy into Joviet's unlocked doors. Joviet was in her bedroom getting really for dinner when they arrived.

"Mama asked me not to tell anyone and that she doesn't want to see anyone either. When is she going to be my mama again?"

Joviet emerged with a frown. "Soon, Dylan, I promise."

"What's happened to her? She's never been like this my whole life. It's like she's a totally different person now. I wish we never came here. She use to be happy now all she does is cry."

Joviet bent down and took the boy in her arms. "It's my fault, baby, not your mother's. I've complicated things and your mother is having a hard time adjusting that's all. Things will get better when I'm gone, okay. I promise."

"Where are you going?" Dylan asked, disappointed and frightened.

"I have to leave, Dylan. That's why your grandpa is taking us to the Starbase. I have to return to Earth and your mother has to go back to work soon. Don't worry I'll be back, I promise. I just have to take care of some business and tie up some loose ends. I'm not leaving for good, just for awhile."

"I thought you might have decided to stay. I have someone coming aboard at the Starbase to help us work out some things as a family."

"What?" Joviet asked through a forced smile.

"I invited a friend and colleague to meet you and also Ariana, for us to sit down and work some things out between us."

"Therapy? You have invited a shrink here to fix our lives?" Joviet maintained her emotions but she was quickly becoming angry.

"It's not what you think. I've known Deanna for more than 15 years. She was our ship's counselor at one time before she and my first officer married. They have agreed to come here. To be honest, I need someone who can be objective and who also can draw some things out of Ariana who is falling apart more than you and I put together. I need Deanna, Jovie. I can't go through this alone anymore. I think we all need to be able to talk openly about how we feel without yelling at each other or saying hurtful things."

"We don't need an outsider, Jean-Luc, we can handle this." Joviet's disappointment was apparent.

"I need this, Jovie. I am still a starship captain who is going through crisis right now. In the last three months I have alienated my best friend on this ship, took on a new crew with new personalities and new faces to adapt to. I have a daughter I don't know who once looked up to me and now can't stand to be in the same room with me. Not to mention a grandson who is just as confused about all of this as I am. On top of that I still have feelings for you despite the passing of time. I'm close to having a nervous breakdown Jovie, and I don't have nervous breakdowns. I can't believe you just want to go on with your life as if nothing has happened."

"I can't change what has happened, Jean-Luc. I can't fix it, either. I can't grow old over night. I can't replace those missing years with our daughter or our grandson and I can't just fall into your arms and pretend we are fifteen again. Don't you see, we can't work, Jean, it's a wonderful dream but it isn't real, my presence here is just causing more pain to the both of you, I have to go."

"Please don't go, Grandma!" The boy cried. "We need you!"

She picked him up and held him tight and sobbed. "I just make things worse, Dylan. Your mother won't talk to me. I understand your mother is hurting right now, so am I.

"We all are confused and feeling lost but you can't just leave, Jovie. You can't just walk off this ship and leave this mess behind you." Jean-Luc's voice showed his anger. "This is you life for better or for worse and damn it, I'm not going to let you just pretend like it�s all just going to go away the moment you walk out that door."

Jovie sat down on the bed and cradled Dylan and cried deeply. "I can't. Don't you understand? I can't make things right."

Jean-Luc knelt before her. "You aren't meant to do it alone. I also have to take responsibility for my actions. Ariana is right. I left. I should have known. You were trying to tell me that night in the cottage and I didn't listen. I made a joke out of getting you pregnant that night. I was cocky and arrogant. I thought I could do anything. I was wrong. I didn't see that the last night we were together and you kept getting sick because you were pregnant. I said some very hateful things that night I regret. I thought you were trying to hold me back from my dreams of becoming an officer. I realize now that was the last thing you would have ever done to me. Jovie, I didn't love you enough to keep my promise to you. I thought you didn't love me enough to wait for me. We were both wrong and Ariana is the one who paid for our mistakes. Don't you think it's time we put ourselves aside and think about what's best for her? For Dylan?"

She rocked Dylan softly and wiped her right eye with the palm of her hand. "How can I make things right with her when my very presence is a reminder of my failure to her?"

"We wait. We give her time and us time, but we have to do this together not light years apart. Tomorrow we will arrive at the Starbase. Your crew will disembark and we will send your ship on for repairs. Will and Deanna should be there when we arrive and this will give us some time to talk to them before we have to be underway. Deanna has agreed to come aboard temporarily to help us as a mediator and get the ball rolling that's all. The rest will be up to us. If it doesn't work out, then you are free to leave. Not until then. Is that understood?"

Joviet nodded weakly. Her mind was numb and the pain seemed to ebb away the longer she held her grandson in her arms. "You should know something." She swallowed hard. "Ariana was our first born but you also had a son."

Picard was speechless. "Josie wouldn't let me keep him. She said she wouldn't support us if I kept them both and unless I gave up your son she would go straight to our parents and tell them everything. I told Ariana her brother died giving birth to him. You have a son, Jean-Luc. A son I saw only once before they took him. That's why they were born by c-section rather than natural. They were a month early. I don't even know who the adoptive parents were."

Jean-Luc slowly got up and paced the room in disbelief. "That's why I drank so much and how I started to smoke and carouse. I hated myself for letting my sister intimidate me so.

When John came into my life he helped me in so many ways. I had lost my courage. It took him several years to help me get back on my feet emotionally. I felt like I failed you, Ariana, even myself. I guess that's why I was so driven to prove that I was worth something. I wanted you to see that I could go on without you. I kept the scar of our babies as a reminder. That's why I don't have physicals, Jean-Luc. Every doctor I've ever seen has tried to talk me into getting it removed. I can't. It's the scar that changed my life forever."

Jean-Luc wept bitter tears. "I have to go," he broke. Without another word he left her quarters.

Joviet remained still cradling her grandson in her arms her own tears were now gone and all that was left was nothingness.

In a few moments, which seemed like an eternity, Jean-Luc Picard showed up at Beverly's door. When she answered the hail of her door chime Jean-Luc stood in front of her in tears. Beverly immediately embraced him and led him into her living quarters. They both slumped on the floor and Beverly held him tightly as he sobbed deeply in her embrace. She could feel his pain shoot straight into her gut and though she wasn't an empath, she could sense the overwhelming grief and chose to share in that moment. They sat for a long while crying together bitter tears of loss and grief. Beverly knew something was desperately wrong but no words came to ask what had brought the extreme emotion in her friend to the surface. She just held him close until he broke the silence with words that would forever change their lives. "I have a son and he is alive."

Aboard the U.S.S. Titan, Deanna Riker's counseling session with Ensign Prather was cut short when Deanna felt a sharp pain in her mind. She let out a painful yell then slumped to the floor. Immediately Ensign Prather tapped her comm badge and called the bridge for her captain. In only a matter of moments Captain Riker rushed into Deanna's office to find his wife cradling her head and crying while Ensign Prather held her in a futile attempt to comfort her.

"Deanna, what's wrong?" Riker went to her and picked her up immediately and the ensign was more than pleased to relinquish the counselor into her husband�s arms. The ensign smiled meekly then left them alone.

"Deanna, stop this!" he demanded. "Talk to me."

"I . . . can't . . . stop . . . it!" Will Riker held his wife as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, of course you can't. Is it Captain Picard?"

She nodded but couldn't speak. All she could do was ride out the wave of emotion that overtook her like a flood. Will realized that Deanna was more like a receiver rather than the channel. She couldn't stop it even if she tried. All he could do is hold her until it passed, and hold her he did. After about fifteen minutes her body finally relaxed then melted in his loving arms.

"They will be here tomorrow, Deanna. It's going to be all right." His words sounded lame and trite. He didn't know how else to comfort her or soothe her stabbing pain.

"I wish I knew what to do. I can't do anything, Will. It's like the emotions are so strong now that it just takes me over and all I can do is wait until it passes."

"I know, it's okay, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was just so scared and felt helpless to do anything to bring you back."

She attempted to laugh but her body was so weak it came out like a grunt. "Sometimes being an empath has its disadvantages too. The only other person I�ve been that connected with that strongly is my mother."

"Do you think the Captain knows he is linked to you that strongly?"

"No. It might be merely an unconscious reaction. I don't know. I know he's overwhelmed and perhaps he feels like he can't pour it out by himself. Oh, Will, I don't know how much more he can take. It seems to come in spurts but when it comes it come so strongly I can't control it from taking me over."

"Do you think it will subside when you are there in person?" Riker was getting concerned that it might actually increase his wife's pain instead of curb it.

"I think it will be different if I can interact with him while it's happening. Right now he's just too overwhelmed to make any sense of what he is feeling. I think I can help him bring them into focus and channel that emotion better. For so many years he has repressed his emotions. It's just been the last few years that they have overtaken him without realizing it. Like the time we went after the Borg back to Earth's past. He was seeking revenge against the Borg, remember?"

"Yeah, Beverly shared that with me after it was all over. She said she felt like he was acting irrational then."

"I guess we missed a lot of it being on the surface but Beverly said she wasn�t sure what to expect with him. It was like he was driven by rage against the Borg rather than rational."

"Captain Picard has changed so much since we first started working with him," Deanna offered.

"But look at all he's endured. Being turned into a Borg, losing his best friend under his command. Having a strained relationship with his father then his brother, then just when you start to make amends your brother dies in a fire along with your nephew. Now he has to face being a father and grandfather all at once. Not to mention having your dead childhood sweetheart walk back into your life after fifty years, still young like you remembered her. I can't even imagine the kind of hell he must be feeling at the moment."

"Will, in all the years we've known him he's never allowed himself to just lose it. I think it's scaring him. I think he believes he's losing his mind with grief."

"I think I'm glad they are going to be here tomorrow. Neither one of you can go on much longer."

Deanna kissed him gently. "I'm fine, Will. You should get back to your bridge."

"No way!" he protested.

"It's passed for now. I'm fine. I think I'm just going to go back to our quarters and take a long hot bath. I'll be fine."

He examined her expression to make sure she wasn't just telling him what he wanted to hear. When he was sure she truly was all right he helped her up from the floor and instructed her to make sure she rested as well. They said their goodbyes and Will left her with some trepidation but he did indeed return to his duties but made a mental note to make it an early night so he could be with Deanna later in case of another episode. For now he had to just trust his wife's instinct and carry on as if nothing was wrong. He still found it difficult to leave her so vulnerable. At least they could put some closure to it as soon as they were reunited with their captain and friend in the morning.

Beverly made sure her captain was asleep before she made her way to Ariana's quarters. She wasn't sure what she would tell her, if anything. After the captain poured his heart out and told her what Joviet had shared with him she found a new compassion for all of them. Each one had their own inner demons to conquer but now the stakes just got bigger and the clarity seemed to focus on the reality that each one had to come to terms with the truth regardless of how painful it was. She wasn't sure if it should come from her or from the captain or even Joviet for that matter. Right now it seemed like Beverly had won her confidence and the shock of this new information might be better received from an objective party rather than from her parents.

Just as soon as she was about to ring the chime of Ariana's door a flashing light over took the hallway. Q stood next to Beverly with a serious scowl on his face. "Don't do it, Dr. Crusher."

"Q, go away." Beverly attempted to push him aside and he blocked her way.

"At this moment I don't wish to spar with you but you're making a mistake and I can't let you do that."

"Q, I haven't even decided if I was going to tell her or not."

"I will answer that for you. Don't!"

"She has a right to know."

Q bent down and hissed in her ear. "Don't force my hand, Doctor."

"Why don't you want her to know the truth, Q?"

"She's not ready. Are you prepared to push her over the edge, Beverly? That cliff you are about to push her off of cannot be undone."

"So what am I suppose to do, Q?" Beverly stood firm even though a rising frustration was filtering to the surface of her emotions.

"Look, I know I haven't been the most credible being you've ever encountered over the years but I'm telling you I know Ariana and if you tell her this it will drive her further away, perhaps permanently. She's not ready."

"After all these years, Q, you couldn't find the time in your vast existence to tell her that her twin brother wasn't dead?" Beverly more accused than questioned.

"First of all, it wasn't my place to do so. Secondly, she would have insisted I help her find him. I couldn't do that."

"Why not? You meddle enough in our lives for your twisted pleasure. Why not use that power of yours to do something good for a change?"

"Oh please, doctor, save your insults for someone who is impressed by your wit. This isn't about a power trip or not being willing to good for humanity. This is about a vow I took when I assumed human form during those years. I can't just go around altering their own decisions and changing the course of their lives because of sentimentality, regardless if I have personal feelings or not."

"So what you are saying is that even if they ask you to help them find him you won't?"

"It was the hardest decision she ever had to make and one she didn't make lightly, doctor. Now, don't you think it would be wrong to just suddenly pop into that man's life and announce to him that his parents, his family aren�t his? That is if he wasn't told that he was adopted."

"That man is Jean-Luc's son." Beverly was losing her patience.

"I'm well aware of that fact, doctor, it still changes nothing. You can't just make rash decisions that will effect the course of the universe. No matter how much you think I do so, I don't. I know in the past I�ve added my own little spin on this universe but I didn't alter its course or disrupt lives."

"Ha!" Beverly belted. "You altered Jean-Luc's course by intruding on his life."

"Oh please, stop your moralizing and think for a moment. What is the real purpose for telling Ariana about her brother? It would crush her at this moment in time. Perhaps when the time is right she will be better equipped to handle the truth. Right now she is holding on by a thread. If you march in there to cut the only thread she is grasping it may be all she needs to lose it emotionally."

Beverly gritted her teeth. "All right!"

Q smiled with satisfaction then snapped his finger and he was gone as quickly as she came.

Beverly composed herself before buzzing the door chime then used her pass code to open the door. The room was still dark and Beverly called out. "Ariana, are you awake?" She heard a rustling sound from the bedroom and slowly entered to find Ariana curled into a tight-knit ball on her bed quietly sobbing. Beverly went to her and put her arm around her. "It's going to be all right, Ari. Nothing is too broken that it can't be fixed."

"I'm falling apart," came the wee voice in a hushed tone.

"You're grieving. Grief turns the strongest soul into a heap of rubble. It will pass."

"Tomorrow is a new day, sweetie. Things always look better in the morning." Beverly pulled out her tricorder and did a once over to find she was mildly malnutritioned. "Ari, when was the last time you ate something?"

"I don't know, three days ago maybe," she whispered. "I can't keep anything down."

Beverly checked her readings again to make sure there wasn't a physical reason why she was ill. When she ruled out a stomach virus or an internal infection she sighed relief. "I'll give you something to calm the nausea. You really need to eat."

"I can't." Her voice was shallow and monotoned and she didn't move out of the fetal position. Beverly became concerned. "Ariana you have to snap out of this. I know you're hurting but you can't continue to just lay here and waste away. I thought you were a fighter."

She shook her head slightly. "I've fought all of my life. I'm tired."

Beverly reached down then underneath her and pulled her up to her chest and rested her head there. She then came behind her and straddled her like a parent to a child, stroking her hair softly. "Please Ari, Dylan needs you. You have to pull yourself together, for his sake." Beverly felt an overwhelming sense of despair as she cradled the woman in her arms. "I know it hurts. Remember when I told you about my husband, Jack? I felt like lying down and dying myself, but I had Wesley and he needed me more than ever. He was just about Dylan's age when his father died. I couldn't fall apart and this is why I know you have to fight this."

"Dylan has my mother," she cried. "Maybe she'll do a better job with him than she did with me."

"Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to change things, Ari, it's actually going to make things worse for you and for Dylan. You have to go on no matter what has happened. No matter how disappointed or heartbroken you are. You can't just lay down and quit."

"Why not?" she asked through her tears.

"Because you are not alone in this, Ari. You have a new life here and though you don't realize it yet, it's a good life. You have people who care about what happens to you. I'm one of them."

"You don't even know me," she replied quietly.

"I know you enough to care about what happens to you and I know your father well enough to know that it would kill him inside to see you like this. He already is overwhelmed with his own grief and regrets. This would just tear him up more and I don't want to see either one of you endure more than you already have." She didn't respond. "You have a lot of people pulling for you and for Dylan. It's been a wonderful change having the two of you here. You have brought hope back to this ship and its crew. You are the first civilian we've had on board since before the Dominion War started. I�ve heard talk in the crew's lounge and most think that it's wonderful we have brought a child back on board ship. Many of them are thinking about talking to the Starfleet Council about reconsidering their policy about families staying together again. It may be a long time coming until the threat has ended but there is at least hope in sight now. You've helped them in more ways than I can count Ari. We are all glad you and Dylan have come to the Enterprise. I don't think we could bear losing you now." Beverly was being sincere and hopeful herself. She actually missed having families aboard ship as well. The Enterprise-D was a home, not just an assignment. It was a community rather than just a job. Over the last few years she hadn't realized how much she missed her old life as well. Perhaps her captain spoke the very words she was having a difficult time reconciling since the war began.

Ariana was listening to her intently but couldn't seem to shake the numbness that had consumed her. She just pondered her words and in a short while was sleeping peacefully in Beverly's lap.

Q was right, for once. She realized it when she saw Ariana's condition and knew that the woman had endured all she could handle. The news about her brother would have sent shock waves through her that she wouldn't have been able to process correctly. Beverly sat cradling a woman whose emotional state was on the edge of destruction already. She would keep the secret hidden. Suddenly Beverly sensed a need of protecting Ariana from more needless trauma. She was glad that Deanna's presence would be with them in the morning. I had been a long and gruesome two weeks of wait. Finally, the waiting was over.

She would allow herself her own private tears and some of them mingled with joy at seeing her friend's smiling face once again.

Morning would come soon enough. Beverly decided not to leave her patient alone and she propped her head up on a pillow and just allowed herself to drift off to sleep with Ariana still in her arms.

The following morning Jean-Luc Picard awoke in Beverly's bed. He was fully clothed expect for his boots. He hadn't remembered much about the night before except falling into her arms and bawling like a baby. She must have helped him to her bed and he fell asleep there. Beverly, however, was nowhere to be found. He quickly freshened up and tapped his comm badge. "Dr. Crusher, where are you?"

"Shh," came Crusher's hushed voice over the comm line. "Not so loud."

"Where are you?" he repeated, this time in a whisper.

"I stayed with Ariana. She's still sleeping. We had a rough night."

"Serious?" he asked, concerned.

"I'll tell you about it at breakfast. I�m just about ready to head out. Where do you want to meet?"

"How about the Lounge?" she asked.

"Fine, fifteen minutes?" he replied.

"I'll be there. I've given Ariana a sedative I think she'll be fine on her own for awhile."

Picard didn't like the sound of that but he didn't question it further. "Good, Picard out."

Joviet and Dylan attended the farewell breakfast for the crew of the Explorer I in the officer's lounge. Several tables were needed to accommodate the officers and scientists and by the time Jean-Luc and Beverly had arrived, their meal was just about over. They were singing, laughing and reminiscing. The two colleagues glanced over to the group then made their way into a small and private corner of the room.

"We can go somewhere else, Captain if you're uncomfortable?"

He protested. "I'm fine, besides, I think we need to get use to the idea of Joviet around. I hope I convinced her to stay aboard. I told her it wasn't appropriate for her to leave just yet. I think she changed her mind."

Beverly frowned. "Is it wise, Jean-Luc?"

"I'm not prepared to pick up the pieces of our lives alone, Beverly. She can't run away from it and neither can I."

"I'm sorry. Of course not." Beverly and Jean-Luc ordered their breakfast and waited for their attendant to leave. "About Ariana," the doctor started with determination, "she's not well, Jean-Luc. I don't know if returning her to active duty is wise. It may be a long recovery, perhaps a facility more suited to her needs is best."

"What are you saying, Beverly? You want me to send her away after everything that's happened?"

"I'm saying that her internal injuries are healed and her emotions aren't. She won't get out of bed. She won't dress herself. She just lays there."

"Deanna will help. I know she will. You'll see. She's going to come out of this, it's just going to take time."

"And if she doesn't?

Picard hit the table. "She will, damn it!"

Beverly was startled but didn't react. "I'm not saying it's hopeless. I'm saying she doesn't want to come out of it. It's like she's shutting down. I can help keep her comfortable but I can't mend her mind. I can't even imagine processing all that's transpired the last few weeks, let alone handle the workload we've put on her. It's not in her character profile, Jean-Luc, or her pysch evaluations. If anything this is all new territory. She's never had an episode like this in her entire career. Everything I've read about her says she does quite the opposite when faced with trauma."

"There was that one time aboard the Stargazer that she seemed to change in midstream." Picard took a few bites of his breakfast then continued. "Don't get me wrong, my crew adored her, it's just that the night she gave a concert for the men in my honor she appeared older. She seemed to be playing the audience and acting quite grown up in her selections of music. It was if I was being taken back in time with Joviet who loved to perform at school functions and in the community theatre. I was mesmerized by her charm and beauty. Until after the concert when I came up to congratulate her on her performance she seemed aloof and rather bothered by my presence. Later on that night I went to her quarters to find out if I had done something wrong and she wasn't alone. One of the younger ensigns was with her. I told them I didn't approve and she seemed to think I was overreacting. The ensign left and I stayed. She was angry I chased off her guest and insisted I apologize, which I did, but then she started asking me questions I felt very uncomfortable with."

"Such as?" Beverly asked.

"How old Joviet and I were when we started having sex together and then she started to seduce me. She insisted she could please me and that no one would have to know and that if I wasn't her father than there was no harm in it. I was totally shocked by it. I mean I knew she was a very lonely and confused little girl at that time. I just didn't know how to relate to her gesture."

"Is that why children use to make you uncomfortable?" Beverly read him quite well.

He nodded. "My encounter with her that day threw me off I guess. I felt very uncomfortable all the way around and I wanted to shake her and snap her out of it. I never felt that vulnerable around a child before and all of a sudden here I was face with such bizarre behavior. I didn't know what to think."

"Did you ever find out from her Aunt and Uncle what could have triggered such behavior?" she asked.

"They said that she would disappear for hours at a time and couldn't seem to keep her home. They had suspected she had become sexually active after Joviet had left her with them but couldn't confirm it. I was extremely worried about her. Even though I left her with them I called often, at least for a while until I satisfied she was stable and doing well in her studies. We talked frequently during that time but she never brought up the incident and neither did I. We sort of lost contact with each other after that. Then there was the incident the night they arrived on the Enterprise."

"Oh?" Beverly picked at her food, more interested in his explanation.

"She kissed me and I reacted." Jean-Luc was trying to be casual about the whole thing. After all, it seemed innocent enough and it never progressed. Still, their relationship seemed to take a drastic turn toward the worse since Joviet's arrival. Perhaps the thought of him being her father made her feel shameful at thinking of him as just a man, even a potential lover. Her feelings were jumbled up possibly on both accounts. "It was nothing, Beverly. I don't know if she even understands what her feelings are for me. It's much easier to lash out than to verbalize the confusion."

"And you?" Beverly asked.

"Me? What about me?"

"How do you feel toward her?"

"I feel a sense of protectiveness over her as I always have. Ariana is a very complicated woman regardless of her successful career. She has accomplished much and yet is so very disconnected with others. I guess that's why she feels at home in a laboratory rather than part of a team. Over all, her performance aboard the Enterprise shows that she is overcoming those obstacles quite well."

Beverly leaned forward. "You are avoiding the question, Captain."

Perhaps he was avoiding everything at the moment, at least while Joviet was in the same room. He could hear them in the distance laughing and carrying on. It was only natural for her to want to spend the last day with her shipmates. They would be arriving at the Starbase in less than an hour. It seemed appropriate somehow for her to spend that time with them rather than with him. He could sense the eyes behind him, forever glancing in his direction and possibly wondering what their conversation consisted of that made the Captain tense and uneasy.

"My feelings," Picard continued, "are quite genuine, I assure you, but not in the way you are thinking, Beverly. I have nothing but respect for Ariana. These last few weeks have been a strain on all of us. It's only natural to be a bit confused about our feelings, wouldn't you say?"

"I was talking about the kiss." Beverly adjusted herself and gave him a short retort.

"It was just a kiss, Beverly, it didn't mean anything."

"Uh, huh," she snapped. "That's why you won't talk about it?"

"Damn it!" he yelled, then lowered his voice. "She's my daughter."

"But you didn't know that at the time she kissed you. Since then you two have been acting rather uncomfortable around each other. Are you sure nothing happened between you two before Joviet showed up?"

"What are you saying?" Picard fumed and stood up. "That I have violated my own daughter?"

Beverly's eyes grew wide with embarrassment. "Sit down, everyone's staring at us."

Picard lowered himself, realizing this was the wrong place to fight. His emotions were still raw from the night before.

"I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just asking if you had different feelings for her before you found out you were her father. I'm not asking if you slept with her. I know you better than that."

Picard felt the blood drain from his face. "Excuse me," he said, turning to leave, then saw his grandson step on the stage with some musicians and next to them was Joviet. Apparently the crew asked for one last song from their commanding officer and she had invited her grandson to sing a duet. Picard was fascinated to see them together and Beverly turned toward the stage as well. The musicians began to play a familiar tune of Pencez de Moy from the Phantom of the Opera and then the voice of his beloved rang out like a lark in French, accompanied by their grandson. The sound was one he thought he'd never hear again mingled with the melancholy harmonics of his grandson's voice accompanying her in alto. It was the gentlest sound of two voices speaking volumes of sentiment to the crowd. Then after they finished a verse in French they converted to English and then back to French. By the time they finished the crew of the Explorer gave a standing ovation and Jean-Luc was enchanted once more.

Beverly came up behind him. "That was lovely. I didn't know she could sing."

Picard forgot his anger with the doctor and smiled. "I have heard Ariana sings opera as well. Dylan says she's quite good."

"Speaking of Ariana, I am going to check on her before heading to Sickbay. Do wish to accompany me?"

"Is that wise, doctor? She hasn't exactly appreciated my company lately. I don�t want to upset her."

"I think you need to come. It's time." Beverly touched his shoulder for support. "Please."

"I have a lot of work to do, Beverly. I'm due on the bridge."

She frowned. "That's never stopped you before."

He shook his head. "I would rather wait until Deanna comes aboard."

As they were debating quietly Joviet approached them. "Good morning. I hope I�m not interrupting."

Beverly forced a smile. "No, of course not. I was just leaving to check on Ariana."

Joviet bit her lip. "How is she?"

"I wish I could say she was well. She isn't. I think leaving her alone only increased her isolation."

"What can I do?" Joviet asked.

"Tell you what. I have an idea. Why don't you two check on her together? I have other patients to attend to and you two need to start acting like her parents. I'm just her doctor." She took her hypospray out of her pocket and handed it to her captain. "She will need this. See if you can get some food into her as well." Beverly turned and left them before they could protest.

Picard scowled. "She tricked us."

"Dylan, please remain in your quarters and play quietly. We will come to get you as soon as we are through in your mother's room." Picard ordered.

"I want to see mama too!" he protested.

"Not now, Dylan," Joviet answered. "Don't argue just do what your grandfather said." She closed the door behind them and Picard put in a pass code to prevent Dylan from leaving.

When they entered Ariana's quarters they weren't sure what they would find. It was dark and not a sound could be heard. Picard ordered the computer to turn the lights on half illumination and immediately the lights came on. They could see nothing had been touched in days. Immediately Joviet rushed into the bedroom and Captain Picard followed. The room was empty. Picard called out. "Computer, locate Dr. deMarquis."

The computer chimed back. "Dr. deMarquis in on the holodeck."

"Come on," the captain ordered and Joviet followed him out into the hall and across the corridor to a computer panel. "Computer, what is the current program in progress?"

"LaBarre, France. Interactive memory files, summer of 2330.

Picard smiled somberly at Joviet and the two stepped through the entrance arch of the holodeck. The sun was full that day on the countryside. Joviet was amazed at the technology that could recreate their home with such accurate perceptions. The sights and sounds of the birds in the tall trees and a gentle breeze blowing caught Joviet's attention.

"This is wonderful," she said. "So this is your holodeck."

"Yes. It's just like being there in person. I know these hills," Picard mused. "This is behind my parent's chateau.

You brought Ariana here before?"

Joviet marveled. "Yes, once. Robert said it would be all right to use the creek and I wanted to show her the lovely countryside."

A flash of light and Q fell from the tree. "Good morning, Mon Capitian." Q felt festive. "And my darling Joviet, how are you this morning?" He came to the woman and attempted to kiss her what he got was a slap on the face instead. "I've missed you too!" He readjusted his jaw.

"What are you doing, Q?" Picard demanded.

"I was attempting to join the family outing. I see that you haven�t lost your feminine touch, my dear."

"I was under the impression that Ariana was ill."

"She is," Q answered. "I thought bringing home would snap her out of it."

"This is not her home, you know very well she grew up in Paris." Joviet was furious

"Don�t you remember? We brought her here on her 8^th birthday. She wanted to see where you grew up. Boy, how soon they forget."

"Q, what sort of game are you playing with her mind?" Picard accused.

"I will have you know this is no game, Captain. I brought her here so she could remember she was happy once. There is a frightened little girl under all pint-up adult anger. I would think that you would want her to come back to her senses. Seeing this day will bring memories flooding to the surface and she will come out of it. I promise."

"What if it sends her further away?" Joviet asked with concern.

"Has three days in the rift made you suspicious of me, Jovie? I'm hurt." Of course he used sarcasm then spoke very seriously. "Well, have a look for yourself." Q waved his hand in the direction they were to follow then disappeared.

Picard grabbed Joviet's hand and they began to walk toward the creek in the distance, after they had cleared the hill, there Ariana sat silently on a fallen log staring in the distance at a family enjoying a day of fishing and swimming. Funny thing was the family looked different than she remembered. The little girl was giggling and splashing about in the water and the two adults were actually laughing and holding hands. Picard and Marxianeau stopped short. The young couple beyond the trees was just younger versions of themselves. "What the . . ." Picard gasped.

The young Ariana came splashing out of the water and the adult counterpart smiled in remembrance then slowly began to weep. "Why couldn't we just be happy together?"

"Life has a way of sending us is all different directions. It doesn't mean we quit trying." Jean-Luc's voice cut the silence and Ariana turned slowly to meet her parent's concerned expressions.

"Ari, we were worried about you." Joviet came to her and knelt beside her. "Dr. Crusher said you weren't well. You should be resting."

Ariana pulled away slowly. "Q thought I needed a change. He brought me here."

"Dr. Crusher said you haven't been eating. She also gave me your medication." Picard pulled out the hypospray and without protest he gave her the injection. "Captain, what are you doing here?"

"We came to check on you," he replied.

"Did I forget to report to duty, sir?" Ariana shook her head slightly, trying to remember what day it was.

Picard gave her an odd look. "No, you're on leave, remember?"

"My head is foggy." Ariana attempted to stand but became dizzy and sat back down. Jean-Luc gave her some assistance and helped her to her feet.

"How about some breakfast? Perhaps later we can return, just the three of us." The captain directed her steps toward the arch of the holodeck and Joviet followed close behind.

"Ariana, I think we need to really talk." Joviet didn�t want to push her too hard but pressed only to see where it would take them. "Your father has invited a friend to visit with us. He thought that maybe we needed an objective person to help us work out our differences. She should be arriving today. Would you like to meet her?"

"What's today, sir?" she asked confused.

"It's Thursday. We arrive at Starbase 626 today. Most of your mother's crew will disembark there. I've ask her to stay aboard."

"If you're here, where's Dylan?" She asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

"He's playing quietly in his quarters." Picard helped her out of the holodeck and back into her room. Joviet trailed after them, pausing only moments to order some breakfast for her from the replicator.

She spied the plate of food and felt queasy again. "Mother, I can't eat anything. I haven�t been able to keep anything down for days, thanks to you two."

Joviet attempted to ignore her remark and set the plate of food in front of her anyway. "You have to eat, Dr. Crusher was quite clear on that point."

"Go away," she snapped, pushing the food away from her. "I'm not a child, stop treating me like I'm still eleven years old."

"Then stop acting like it," Joviet snapped. "I'm not leaving until we talk. I've had enough of this spoiled brat routine. You weren't raised to carry on so and being a parent yourself, I'm surprised you haven't learned by now that throwing fits and having tantrums never gets you anywhere. Now, if it's about my relationship with your father, whether we pursue it further or not isn't your concern. We are all adults here. I do, however, expect that you speak to us in a civil manner. I will not have you embarrassing your father by acting like a self-centered cretin. You were raised in a cultured home with some decorum and diplomacy. Regardless if you like your life or not, this is the only one you have. I suggest making the best of it." Because Joviet was getting upset, her French accent began to show thicker into the reprimand. "I know I have done a lot of things in my life but raising you to disrespect others, especially your elders, isn't one of them. You will keep a civil tongue in your head, I'm still your mother."

Ariana sat quietly listening to everything the woman had to say. "Are you finished, mother."

Joviet sighed. "Yes."

"Good, now I have a few things I would like to say." She pushed herself away from the table. "I am not a child anymore, regardless of how you left me, this is the person I am today, for better or worse and you are going to have to start dealing with who I am today. I am not your precious little Ari. I haven't been that since I was ten years old. You were so busy proving your theories that you seem to forget about me all together. I have felt, my entire life, of being a dirty little secret. I find you quite annoying coming back into my life and thinking that we can just pick up where we left off. Really, mother, it's been nearly fifty years. I have seen my own horrors, lived my own disappointments and have seen my share of heartbreak over the years. I know what it's like to love a man who doesn't give a rat's ass about you but furthering his career. I have had many lovers in my life and when I chose to settle down, he couldn't love me either." Before Picard could protest, she continued. "I know what it's like to lose people you love. What I don't do is spend my time trying to recapture my past life. I have no intention of playing the role you seem so eager to fit me into. I have a successful career and a son who depends on me to show him guidance and leadership. Dylan is going to grow up into a respectful man who takes his obligations and responsibility to himself, family and career as seriously as I do. While you are gallivanting around the cosmos mother, I was having a family of my own. My career included cleaning up the scientific messes you left behind in the field of quantum physics. You want to know what it is like growing up in your mother's shadow? I've worked damn hard to get where I am today, no thanks to you, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you storm back into my life and make demands.

"I am on this ship because of my merits, not because my father is the captain of this vessel. I am here so my son will be exposed to Starfleet, half-assed as Starfleet has become over the last five years, I still think Starfleet has the best to offer when it comes to exploration. He still has a life ahead of him including a promising career. While I may have suffered much in the last few weeks, I'm realizing, thanks to Beverly Crusher, that my life isn't just about my hurts and disappointments, but around my successes and triumphs. Unlike you, mother, I know what it's like to take responsibility for my actions. I make no excuse and no apologies for who I've become. I may be filled with rage but at least I'm not hiding from my true self. You, on the other hand have lived a life of lies and deceit."

The room fell silent. Jean-Luc was speechless and Joviet was near tears.

"Let me in," Dylan yelled, pounding his fists on the door. "I know you're in there. Let me in!"

"Go lay down, Dylan!" Ariana yelled back.

"It's ten o'clock in the morning, Mom, I just got out of bed," he replied.

"Dylan, don't you have anything better to do than eavesdrop?" Picard asked.

"Sure, I can go have some fun in the holodeck, expect that you locked me in here. Let me out!"

Picard opened the adjoining door. "If I let you out will you promise to keep yourself busy and let us talk?" He nodded.

"Okay then, go use the holodeck." Picard moved aside and Dylan ran through the room, quickly kissing his mother and grandmother on the cheek and then headed out the door.

Captain Picard's comm badge signaled. He tapped it. "Go ahead."

Lieutenant Perez cleared his throat. "Sir, we have arrived at Starbase 626. The U.S.S. Titan sends their greetings and Captain Riker wishes to rendezvous aboard the station and the main cafe for lunch."

"Send our fond wishes and tell Captain Riker that we will be there in just a few hours." Picard rubbed his temples. "Let him know that we will remain in space dock for three days for supplies and the crew of the Titan is welcomed to our accommodations for any who needs shore leave as well."

"Aye, sir," replied Perez.

When the comm channel went off Picard straightened his uniform. "I would appreciate the two of you putting away your differences while we are here. I really don't want to drag the entire crew of the Titan into our family quarrels."

Ariana rolled her eyes. "You don�t have to worry about me, Captain. I am more than happy to stay in my quarters and out of everyone's way."

"I would have hoped you would accompany me onto the station. William Riker is an old friend and colleague and I know he wants to meet you."

Ariana started crying. "Why would he want to meet me?"

"Because we're family. I was his captain for 15 years, but more than that he and his wife Deanna are my friends. They came all this way to meet both of you and Deanna is coming aboard to help us adjust to this situation."

"I see. So, we are supposed to pretend we are a family." Ariana got up from the table. "Great!"

Joviet began to mumble in French and Picard caught the gist of what she was saying and laughed. He made no mention of his admiration for the young woman who could hold her own in an argument.

"Ariana, I'm not asking you to pretend that we are a happy family, on the contrary, that is why I've invited Deanna here. To be honest, I'm not coping well at all with this situation and I need someone to be objective. Someone who can help all of us deal with these strange events. Deanna is a trusted and confidential friend. In no way her coming here will require you to pretend anything. In fact, I want you to be open and honest with her."

Ariana considered it. "I'm not ready yet, Captain. I need some time, alone." She glanced at her mother. "Why don't you two go on without me? I'll take Dylan for the day. You go and have a good time with your friends."

"Dr. Crusher seems to think you shouldn't be left alone," Joviet replied.

"Dylan will be with me. I think perhaps we may spend the day on the holodeck just the two of us. Perhaps tomorrow I will be more inclined to talk about our situation. Right now, I just don't even want to think about it anymore."

Picard nodded. "That is a fair answer. Okay then. We will go and see off Joviet's crew and then spend the day at the station. If you need me or Dr. Crusher we will be available."

Ariana nodded and watched the two leave her quarters. She sighed relief when her doors closed. She wasn't sure exactly what to expect with the idea of counseling but she knew something had to give. It had been only about three weeks since her mother had come aboard and she was feeling very small and vulnerable again. She hated her childhood and the thought of revisiting it made her want to just shut down. She wasn't sure what was so foreboding about it but at the moment, she didn't want to find out.

The main docking station of Starbase 626 was the hub of the Federation's central traffic. The station was the crossroads of the galaxy and farthest station out in deep space minus the Deep Space Stations of recent years.

Every planet in this sector of the galaxy came to trade and conduct business with other planets this far out from the Federation's center. It was the station closest to the border of both Klingon and Romulan outposts as well as accessible to Cardassians and Ferengi traders. It had the largest ports-of-call, the best hotels and restaurants and the greatest recreation facility for offworlders. In essence, it was the largest, most elaborate amusement park and trade facility in the galaxy, not to mention the best station for Starfleet officers on shoreleave. The station was equipped with fifteen officer's lounges and an executive lounge and hotel for the many admirals and fleet commanders that frequented the Starbase, as well as ambassadors and the various conferences that are held throughout the year.

It seemed only natural for Captain Picard to choose the Starbase to rendezvous. It would give both vessels an opportunity to issue shoreleave to their officers while they tended to other matters.

Deanna Troi-Riker paced anxiously at the docking bay and Will just bobbed his head back and forth, watching her go from one end of the ramp to the other. It reminded him of a tennis match. He laughed. "You are going to wear a road in the carpet, Deanna. They will be here soon. Besides, we said we'd meet them in the restaurant." "I can't sit in the restaurant and wait. I'm too excited to sit anyway." "It's only been a few months, Deanna, not years."

She slapped his chest. "I know that. It's just that I miss them."

He chuckled at her. She reminded him of when they were younger. She seemed to be as nervous about them coming to the station as they had been on their first date when he was stationed on Betazed. It was actually kind of cute seeing her this excited.

Beverly Crusher walked down the gangplank and onto the busy arena of the docking bay. Deanna squealed. "Beverly!" She started waving her hands at the familiar face. Quickly the doctor heard her name and ran toward her best friend. They embraced with giggles and greetings.

Will peered over their shoulder. "Where's the Captain?"

Beverly rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Probably putting out another fire."

"What do you mean?" asked Will.

"Ever since that woman came aboard it's been a three-ringed circus."

"Which woman?" Deanna asked.

"Dr. Joviet Marxianeau. Then you have Q popping in and out like the Cheshire cat and being called, "Uncle John". I don't even know why I'm still sane."

"It's gotten that bad?" Deanna asked. Will just shook his head in disbelief.

"Bad isn't a word for it, Deanna. I've never seen the captain lose it like he has been these last few weeks. I thought Ariana coming aboard was going to be difficult and an adjustment with her son, Dylan to consider. We all have adjusted well to their non-Starfleet presence aboard. I was wrong; her mother is a far more disturbing influence on the ship and totally unnerving to the captain.

Will chuckled. "I sure it is. I don't know how I could handle it if suddenly Deanna showed up in my life after being missing and presumed dead for fifty years. It's a lot to take in."

"I suppose. It's just that having her around is causing more harm than good. Her grandson seems to be the only one appreciating the situation. Dr. deMarquis is having a nervous breakdown and our beloved captain is close to having one of his own. It just doesn't seem right. I don't know how much more any of us can take."

Both Deanna and Will stood silent for a moment then Will directed them in the direction of the restaurant. "Why don't we go into the officer's lounge and talk while we are waiting for Jean-Luc to arrive."

Beverly nodded then the three of them went to relax and visit while they waited for the other parties to arrive.

It was more than an hour after docking that Jean-Luc Picard was ready to disembark the Enterprise after issuing shore leave to half the crew. They would remain at the Starbase for about three days and each rotation would be able to enjoy time off. He knew that for himself it was a change that would do him some good. Ariana chose to stay aboard but Joviet had agreed to accompany him for lunch with his friends. This would give Deanna an opportunity to familiarize herself with the situation and also meet Joviet, then determine how best to proceed in counseling them.

Joviet was not fond of the idea but she agreed to meet with Counselor Riker and her husband, Captain William Riker in a more relaxed environment on the station first. She dressed in a semi-casual gown and presented herself to the captain of the vessel by twirling around. "What do you think?"

"I think you're stunning." He came to her and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"I don�t know why Dr. Crusher has to be there. I know they are her friends too but I already feel self-conscious as it is and Dr. Crusher and I just haven't been able to see eye-to-eye since I arrived."

Picard gave her a squeeze. "Beverly is protective. That's all it's been about. I think this time will be productive for all of us. Away from the duty and the constant interruptions, I believe we will be able to talk out our differences and come to some sort of an agreement, for us and also for Ariana and Dylan. Besides, this is just lunch, Deanna is coming aboard for a while to spend some time with Ariana and Dylan as well." Joviet continued to look worried. "It's okay, they'll find you as charming as I do."

Though she wasn't convinced, they left for the officer's lounge aboard the Starbase.

Beverly and Deanna were in conversation when the captain and his companion arrived. Will Riker was the first to glimpse the young scientist on his friend's arm. She was stunning and so young, thought Riker as he smiled then stood to greet them. "Captain," Riker said, clasping the elder officers' hand.

Picard smiled. "It's so good to see you. You've been missed greatly. I'm still trying to break in my first officer."

"Really," Riker mused, "so am I." The two laughed in unison and the women smiled. "And you must be Dr. Marxianeau," Riker greeted her with a warm smile.

"Yes," Picard blurted. "Joviet, this is Captain William Riker, my former first officer and his lovely wife, Lt. Commander Deanna Troi-Riker, also ship's counselor."

Joviet shook hands with each and then stared at Dr. Crusher and acknowledged her with a nod. "I�m pleased to meet you both. Jean-Luc has told me a lot about you.

"Please, join us." Deanna moved over so that she could sit by her rather than Beverly and Will made a space for Captain Picard.

The five of them ordered drinks and a hors de'oeuvre tray then sat back for a long visit. Joviet looked pale and uneasy trying to seem graceful and confident. Deanna sensed a tremendous emotional upheaval inside of her and then felt the awkwardness in her former captain who was maintaining his emotions quite well at the moment.

Deanna began. "Tell us a little about yourself, Doctor?"

"Well, outside of being in a quantum rift for fifty years I suppose there really isn't much to tell. I was born in France my parents were archeologists and my father became the curator of the natural history museum in Paris. We moved to the country when I was four and I met Jean-Luc in school and my mother passed away shortly after. Jean's mother Yvette sort of took me under her wing and a lot of my growing up years was in the Picard household. My older sister married and moved back to Paris when I was still quite young and I was alone most of the time in LaBarre. Well, I had a governess throughout my childhood. My father worked in Paris and we lived in LaBarre. I moved back to Paris when Jean-Luc was accepted into the academy and I attended Notre Dame University where I achieved my doctorate in quantum physics and a master�s in performing art."

Jean-Luc marveled. "You have a master's degree in performing art? I didn't know that."

Joviet smiled sheepishly. "Jean-Luc, I told you I wanted to study performing art."

"I didn't think you were serious. I thought you were more like a free spirit when it came to the arts. I didn't think you would every major in it." Jean-Luc laughed.

She sighed heavily and took another sip of her drink. "Why not? I thought you said I was good."

"Yes, I said you were good but I had no idea you were actually planning on wasting your time in the theater arts as a major. Studying music is one thing, getting a degree for which you cannot use is a waste of time."

"Waste of time? I am a concert pianist as well as a cellist. I sing opera for heaven sake. What did you think I was doing, practicing for the community theater back home?"

Beverly shook her head and leaned over, speaking only to Deanna and Will. "See, I told you. This has been going on non-stop for three weeks. All they do is argue."

Will broke into their argument. "I'm sure Joviet would like to finish telling us about herself, Captain. Perhaps your disagreement could be better served over dinner." While Will wasn�t trying to sound rude to either of them, someone had to stop the fight.

"Of course," Picard surrendered. "I'm sorry I interrupted, Joviet. Finish our story."

She took a long swig off her drink and raised her hand toward the waiter for another, then rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry Commander, where was I?" she asked Deanna.

"You were at Notre Dame," Deanna offered.

"Ah, yes. That is where I met John. Uh, Q."

"At Notre Dame?" Will laughed. "What was he doing there, torturing lab rats?"

"I�m sure that over the years Q has put all of you through some horrible ordeals and I'm sorry for that. I am to blame for what Q has done to all of you. When I knew him as my college professor, he is nothing like you described him."

"Oh?" Deanna replied, not sure what to think.

"During my years at Notre Dame, Q and I became very close. He was one of my professors of quantum physics. After I disappeared I suppose Q felt it necessary to blame someone. He chose Jean-Luc."

"Why? That doesn't make any sense." Will added.

"Oh, well, see, Q felt like Jean-Luc had abandoned me 'with child' so-to-speak, even though it was my own choice to withhold the truth about my pregnancy when he left for the Academy."

Deanna became angry. "So, all this time Q knew? We were put on trial for the crimes of humanity not to mention being used as his lab rats and it was all for the reason of settling the score? He knew that Captain Picard was a father all that time and said nothing to him?"

"After I disappeared I'm surprised he didn't tell him. Ariana needed a parent. I didn't think he would merely use the information to torment any of you. I would have told her myself but I thought there was time. She was only eleven when I disappeared. Jean-Luc had just taken over the captain's chair of the Stargazer and it didn't seem appropriate somehow. If I had known then, surely I would have told her if I even thought that I wouldn't come back or the experiment would have gone wrong."

"But, you did, Joviet," Beverly interrupted. "There was always a possibility that something could go wrong. Yet, you took no provisions to even tell Ariana the truth about her father."

"I told her what I thought she could handle at that age, that her father was a Starfleet officer, nothing more. I thought I would have more time. Surely you can see my position. She would have wanted to contact Jean-Luc immediately. I couldn't do that to him or to her, for that matter. I didn't know the experiment would take such a turn or even fail for that matter. I had spent over a year prepping everything out to the last detail with my science staff. We didn't know how to foresee that we weren't coming back or that we would be gone from this universe for fifty years."

"But still, you left no evidence of her father anywhere. Not her birth certificate, not any medical records or personal journals, nothing." Beverly remained calm but her voice held a little accusation.

"I was seventeen years old, doctor. I wasn't thinking about anything outside of finding a place to live and trying to cope with my situation. I risked everything to keep my pregnancy a secret from my father. Only my sister knew and she helped me conceal it as long as possible."

Deanna gave Beverly a sharp glance. "What made you decide not to tell anyone?"

"My father had his moments, Counselor. I didn't want to provoke him."

"Were you afraid of him?" she asked.

Picard answered for her. "On the contrary, her father liked me very much. In fact, one of the reasons I even considered pursuing archeology was that I spent many of my summers with their family on expeditions offworld."

"Oh, I thought it was Professor Galen who got you interested in archeology?"

"Yes, in a serious sense, he did. However, I was exposed to the science as a boy. Her father saw me more like the son he never had. It would have crushed him to know that Joviet had become pregnant and that I left."

"So, you went to Paris and then what happened?" Will asked.

"I took on a different identity and got a job. After all, my father still worked in Paris and it would have been easy to find me had I not changed my name. So, I stayed and studied at Notre Dame working part-time. Then I met John and we spent a lot of time together. I never returned to LaBarre until years later. I had heard Jean-Luc's mother had died and I went home. By then my father thought I had married one of my professors and had his child. I saw no reason to tell anyone that Ariana wasn't John's."

"So Q was the supposed father of your child?" Deanna asked in shock.

"What about your son?" Beverly asked. "Did Q help you deal with the loss of him?"

Joviet shot a look toward Jean-Luc. "I can't believe you told her," she snapped. "I confessed that to you because I didn't want to live with the lies anymore and you told her?"

"I was upset last night, Jovie. I needed someone to vent to." Picard was rather sorry for the doctor's accusatory outburst. He looked at Beverly who seemed to revel in embarrassing Joviet. Even Deanna could sense the tension building and the uneasiness she felt toward Beverly at the moment.

"For your information, Dr. Crusher, it was a very traumatic decision I had to make. One I will have to live with for the rest of my life, certainly not one that deserves a debate at this moment." Joviet felt like she was suddenly under a microscope and all eyes were on her.

"Please go on, Joviet. I'm sure Beverly didn't mean anything by it?" Deanna Riker needed not be empathic to sense the humiliation and pain coming from the woman.

"I had twins," she continued through clenched teeth. "Ariana was the eldest. My son was adopted by a wonderful couple in Paris."

"I'm sorry," Beverly whispered.

"I had no choice, doctor. I was still very young and my sister refused to keep my secret unless I gave Aiden up for adoption."

"Why the boy?" asked Riker.

"Aiden wasn't well when he was born. I went into labor early. Ariana was holding doing well but Aiden had some complications. He was going to require more care than I could provide. So, when my sister found out about it she told me that if I chose to keep Aiden she would go straight to our father and tell him everything, including who the father was. I couldn't do it. I couldn�t ruin Jean-Luc's career and disgrace our families. I had no choice. Aiden needed medical care I couldn't provide him and Ariana needed a life outside of hospitals and doctor's visits. I did what Josephine told me was my only option."

"It must have been a very difficult decision," Deanna offered. "I'm sure he got the care he needed."

"Ariana doesn't know and I don't want to tell her. Is serves no purpose but to hurt her further."

"She doesn't know she has a twin brother?" asked Riker.

"She doesn't know her brother is alive," replied Jovie. She bit her lip took another forceful swig of her drink. "Everyone has secrets, this one is mine. Aiden is gone and I wouldn't want to disrupt his life with his family. Apparently I�ve done enough of that here."

Beverly remembered what Q had told her the night before. Perhaps not telling her was the best. All it would do is cause more contention between her and her mother and nothing could be done to know if Aiden was still alive and well. She resolved in her mind that she wouldn't interfere.

They ate and talked for quite some time and Joviet filled in a lot of the gaps between the twin's birth and her disappearance in the quantum rift. That left only the issue Deanna tried to avoid until now. "What about Ariana? How is she taking all this?"

"I don't know my daughter," Joviet answered truthfully.

"She's foreign to me. I don't know how to get through to her."

"Maybe you're not suppose to," offered the counselor. "Perhaps it's the captain who must first break ground."

"Oh, Counselor, I don't know about that." Picard was leery.

"You were here, Joviet wasn't. I'm not saying that it's a patented answer, but I think that's where we need to start."

Riker nodded. "I think Deanna's right. There must be resolve between the two of you first before she could ever accept her mother back into her life."

"I don't know about that. I didn't want to be a father I wanted to be Captain Jean-Luc Picard. I think I hurt her worse by refusing to believe or even being willing to submit to a DNA test."

"That's my point. Her animosity stems toward you for not even wanting her, for even rejecting the thought that you were her father."

"But it's my fault, counselor. I didn't tell her who her father was."

"I know, but deep down inside, you felt it, Captain. You even said that you were drawn to her at Joviet's memorial service and that you felt an instant kinship with her, remember? It's that parental instinct you have run from your whole career. I always wondered why you ran from any parental role, even with Wesley. What you did was reject the instinct and draw solely on what you wanted to be the truth. That's where we need to begin. She had lost one parent but up until that point in her life she was well adjusted. All the other relationships in her life began to decline when Joviet left her in Paris to further her research and you left her in Paris to further your career."

"Ariana told me last night that she felt her mother resented her because of her father and that's why she was inclined to leave her," Beverly added and Deanna quirked a smile.

"I am just learning to be her commanding officer. I don't feel comfortable assuming a role I walked away from forty-five years ago, Counselor. In the last few weeks I have had to face the truth of it and to be honest, it's much to painful for me to go back to those early years."

"I know," Deanna said. "In fact, looking backward isn't you at all. So I know this is difficult for you. Remember when you were transported back to the Enterprise and you were twelve years old again?"

He nodded. "How can I forget, I pretended to be Will's son."

Riker laughed. "It did seem odd to have our captain walking around the ship at an adolescent."

"The thought of you having to live your childhood over again was a very painful reality, remember?" Picard grimaced. "This time looking backward isn't for your benefit, it's for your daughter's. There's a hurting little girl inside of that grown woman who has had one bad relationship after another. She has locked away her heart and thrust herself into being a work-a-holic to mask the pain and the aloneness she feels. She will not reconcile with a mother for whom she resolved for dead before she reconciles herself with a father that remained very much alive throughout her life and never pursued relationship with her."

Beverly got the concept her friend was sharing. "So, she sees the Captain as the one who could have loved her all these years but didn't?"

"Exactly."

Will chimed in. "So, you are saying that because he didn't believe her or even offer to take a DNA test to prove or disprove it, that showed her that he didn't care one way or the other?"

"But you said she tried to seduce you after you insisted you weren't her father. That doesn't sound like she wanted you to be her father." Beverly realized she had said the wrong thing.

All eyes at the table grew in horror and Picard cupped his face. Joviet was the first to speak. "She did what?"

"Beverly!" Deanna snapped.

Will's mouth dropped open. "When did this happen? Recently?"

Picard snapped back. "I don't think this is appropriate conversation for an officer's lounge."

Deanna stood up. "Is this what has been going on since we spoke, Captain? I thought you said you weren't able to speak about this to Beverly."

"Deanna, I'm sorry. It's slipped out."

"That's not the point. You have been purposely throwing intimate things out there for shock value." Captain Picard turned beet red. "I can't believe you Beverly. I've never seen you this hateful and uncaring."

"Deanna," Will said calmly, "it was an accident."

"No, it wasn't." She turned to her Beverly as if to accuse her of trying to sabotage their meeting. "I know Beverly better than that."

"You're right, Deanna." Beverly confessed. "I've been very angry since Joviet has come aboard." She turned to the scientist who was looking like she had been punched in the stomach. "I've blamed you for the upheaval in all of us since you arrived. Ariana was doing so well and I was getting use to the idea of her and Dylan on board. I didn't like the idea at first when Jean-Luc was requesting Ariana's transfer to the Enterprise. I thought that he was chasing ghosts of his past and I made no apologies for having my doubts. Since she has been on the ship, I have found her enchanting and irreplaceable. My staff has grown to love her and respect her work. She has the love and support of everyone aboard, including her captain. Dylan reminds me of my own son, Wesley. I would hate to see anything get in the way of them having a good life with us. Since your arrival Ariana has been continuously injured in one form or another. She has slipped into a deep depression, nearly ostracized her son from her life, can't work, can't sleep and can't eat. I won't even go into what you have done to Jean-Luc."

"Beverly," her captain interrupted, "that's enough."

By the time Beverly was finished Joviet was in tears. "And you blame me?" Joviet managed. "Because things were better off when I was believed to be dead?"

Joviet got up from the table and shoved her chair backward, which startled her companions and those around her at other tables. "All this because I'm not dead?" She was clearly drunk and almost ready to slug it out with the doctor at the table. "So, you are saying that it would have been better had I died out there than to reappear fifty years later even though we thought we were gone a mere three days? Had I known that I would have been better off drifting in space for a millennia or dying in a tragic explosion, perhaps I could have accommodated you, doctor."

Jean-Luc stood up and grabbed her shoulders then looked into her eyes. All he saw in them was horror and contempt. "I'm sorry, Jean-Luc," she mumbled. "Perhaps you would be better off if I had died. At least then you could have remembered me as it had once been between us. I've ruined your whole image of me and now I've ruined our daughter's as well."

He stood firm. "No. I don't care what anyone thinks. Had I known there was any possibility you were alive I would have come after you. I thought Ariana was grasping at a hope that just wasn't real. I am the one who convinced her you were dead. She didn't believe it for one second. I told her she needed to grieve her loss and move on. She came to me and asked me to find you. I refused. Not because I didn't care but because I didn't believe there was anything to find. I was wrong, Jovie. I blamed Dr. Mannheim for years thinking he put you up to it. I stayed embittered with him for over 15 years because of it. I can't go on denying that I regretted leaving you and not coming back for you as I promised." He pulled out her necklace with the ring he had given her that day in the cottage. The solemn vow he broke. "This is the reason why I know you still truly love me and didn't give up on us, like I had given up. Even to this day, even after the children were born and Q came into your life and all the men afterward. You still hold onto my ring."

She wept bitter tears in front of them all. "I was a child, Jean-Luc and like most children, I was a fool."

She left them and Jean-Luc wanted to run after her but his feet never moved. He only turned to Dr. Crusher and fumed. "You had no right to do that, Beverly. Is your jealousy so filled with hatred that you would attack without justification? What the hell has she done to you? Disrupt our breakfast time together?"

Beverly clasped her hands nervously. "Captain," she started and he silenced her.

"Am I so innocent in all of this? Do I not bear some of the burden, the pain, and the shame in the sins of the past? I have hurt her and lied to her as well Beverly, and I can't so easily dismiss it as you can. However, it's not because she showed up here 50 years too late, it's because I was cocky and arrogant during the years when it mattered the most in her life. I asked Deanna to come and help us learn to trust each other again for the sake of what's left of our family. To right some of the wrongs in all of our lives and salvage what we can of a future, but I'm not going to deny that I still have feelings for the woman who gave me all she had to give, even in our reckless youth.

I know why she withheld the truth from me and it wasn't because she was selfish and hateful. You don't know her, I know her. In fact, I think I know her better than I know you at this moment. You of all people should know that I could never have a relationship with someone that was callused and vindictive. She�s not that person, Beverly. She was a scared and lonely girl, but not hateful, not vindictive. If you want to blame anyone, blame me. I am the cause of this, not her. Q loved her and that is saying much for Q who is incapable of loving anyone, but he loved her. I was his target of wrath all these years because I hurt her in ways you can't even begin to understand. I make no excuses for my mistakes and I certainly don't expect you to punish her for coming back into our lives at an inconvenient moment. I'm very well aware of Ariana's state of mind right now but it has more to do with me and less to do with her mother, so I'm prepared to see this through with or without your support."

Beverly felt terrible about her actions. "Jean-Luc, I'm sorry. You're right. I don't know her. I admit that. But I can't pretend that her presence has changed you. You have thought more about her than your ship, your crew and your career. You have become this irresponsible and lovesick schoolboy. You've allowed your personal feelings disrupt the continuity of the Enterprise. You've taken on new staff and how long have you been on the bridge of your ship since she arrived, a day, maybe?"

"So, what are you saying, doctor? That I am unfit to command my ship?"

Will stood up. "Don't you think this conversation would be better suited in private, Captain?"

"No, damn it, I want to know." Picard stood pensively waiting for a reply.

"I think you have allowed this woman to cloud your judgment, yes. As far as being unfit," Dr. Crusher grimaced, "don't push me Jean-Luc."

"So, you are saying that I am unfit to command my ship."

"I'm saying that if you need a leave of absence until this is resolved, take it. It's not right for your crew to be hanging in the balance wondering if our captain is going to make an appearance on his own bridge. Your first officer hasn't even spent one day with you since he's come aboard. He doesn't know what to expect from you and frankly, neither do I. Take command or step down, you can't do both."

Deanna felt the twinge in Picard's stomach and the rising emotions flooding his soul. Deanna touched his arm lightly. "Captain, you have leave accumulated, why don't you take some time off."

"I can't. If we were on the Enterprise-D, perhaps I would. There isn't anyone qualified to command the Enterprise now. If I step down, Starfleet would send another captain to take over and I will never get her back."

"Captain, you do need some time off, time for me to help you all through this crisis." She looked at her husband.

He knew exactly what she was thinking. Will swallowed hard and the two Riker's knew what they had to do.

"I will command your ship, sir," Will said seriously.

"What?" Picard asked.

"I will command your ship. You take the time off you need. I will resign my post from the Titan.

"No way, Will, I can't let you do that. It's your own command."

"She is a good ship, sir, but she's not the Enterprise. Deanna and I miss our home," he paused a moment trying not to choke up, "and our family."

"I asked you to reconsider leaving and you were certain that moving on was the best choice for your careers."

"I know. Deanna and I were certain that it was the right move for us. We were wrong. We both realized that perhaps in our haste to have a ship of our own we didn�t think about how much we would miss our life with you and the Enterprise. We talked it over and decided that we would stick around until you are ready to step down from the Enterprise and finally retire, someday."

"Ah, I see. So, what about the Titan?"

The two Riker's smiled. Deanna continued. "Before we arrived Will resigned his post and requested a transfer back to the Enterprise and explained the situation to Starfleet Command. Starfleet owes you a great deal Captain and so do we, but most of all, we miss knowing that there are people in our lives that care about us, not just work with us. Will was very persuasive and since they didn't want to lose two veteran officers, they agreed."

"You two used your careers as a bargaining chip?" They nodded and Captain Picard was sincerely moved. "I don't know what to say."

"Well, there was another reason." The senior officers stared at her with curiosity. "I'm pregnant."

Beverly was stunned and started to scream gleefully.

"We wanted the best doctor in the fleet and we couldn't think of anyone better to take care of our baby but Beverly and we wanted you, Captain, to be a part of our child's life."

Picard smiled as if he was going to be the proud grandfather. He hugged Will and gave his congratulations and then embraced Deanna. "I'm so please to have you back, Counselor," he whispered.

"Me too!"

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Beverly asked.

Will smiled. "To be honest, we were enjoying all the drama." He tried not to burst out laughing. "My, how things get exciting when we leave."

"Have you told your mother?" Beverly asked Deanna, with a hint of sarcasm.

"No, and don't get me started on that one." Deanna giggled.

The four of them laughed and embraced. The Riker's were coming home, this time, to stay.

PART TWO

. . . to be continued