| Today MTGS interview the funny mouthed "Mockney" cunt, Jamie Oliver. The interview had to be stopped at one point as they feared there was a gas leak. It just turned out to be Jamie starting a sentence with the letter "S"! MTGS: Hello Jim. Thanks for coming JO: Hahahahah in yaw, (Your) faythhhhhhhhhh!(Face). (Money). MTGS: So tell us Jim when did you start wanting to make other people snap?(Food). JO: I've always wanted to cook. It all thhhtarted(Started) when I was 3 monththth (Months) old. It'th (It's) my ealietht (Earliest) memory. I thaw my dad eating my mumth (Mum's) pie and I thought to mythelf, "I could do that, and I bet he'd like mine more!"(Money). MTGS: Hmmmmm very good. Tell us, are you making anymore supermarket ad's 'cos we hate them. And you being in them. All you seem to do is cook for black people for next to no money. JO: I do it for the thaaarkin (Fucking) maaannay! (Money). Owaym (I'm)a greeeedy bathtard! (Bastard). Owaym (I'm) thaarkin(Fucking) rowllin Rolling) in it mate.(Money) MTGS: Do you actually shop at Sainsbury's and ride about like a twat on that girly scooter, flapping your raw liver lips around, spraying folk with saliva and "Mockney" Cheeky sparrow bollocks and giving all your family and friends tips about food? Or is it all bollocks? JO: Acthually...(Actually). I'm quithe (Quite) the genthleman (Gentleman) You know. Educathed (Educated) Ath (At) Ethon. (Eton). I make ...Lowdth (Loads) o' mannnneeyhhh (Money)...adverthithin (Advertising) for Thainthbewwith!!! (Sainsbury's). (Money) MTGS: You fucking irritating bastard!!!! JO: Buth......(But)....I am a royth (Right) owld (Old) Cheeeeeykeeey (Cheeky) Mankeeeeyh!!! (Monkey). Dat (That) anowwwh! (And all). (Money) MTGS: Yes... Typical Southerner, all fucked gob and greedy. Anyway, what was it like in that film you were in when you asked for "More please sir."off of Mr Bumble in the workhouse? JO: What're yooo thaarkin (Fucking) towkin (Talking) abaaaah (About) mee owld (Old) co'haaaa spanyaawl?(Cocker Spaniel). (Money). MTGS: I'm talkin abart thee and thi father! Him that was with Stan Laurel in the those old films and silent shorts.... Charlie Chan or summat. And your last ever appearence which was in "Gladiator" with Cheryl Crow. You also wrestled, naked, with another man in front of a fireplace. JO: Coooorrr !Lavva daaakk!! (Love a duck).I fink (Think) you're getting me confyoooosdaah (Confused) wiv (With) someone elth!! (Else). Moyha (My) owldah (Old) maaarhn's (Dad's) Braaaarn Bwred! (Dead) (Money) MTGS: A nor! JO: Are yooo goin to athk (Ask) me thomething elth? (Something else). (Money). MTGS: Aye if tha likes, tell us a good recipe for us some snap (Food) that would get a bird into bed. JO: Aaaaaaah! Naaahr (Now) yer tow'hin (Talking) moyha (My) langwijha! (Language) I'd recommend a nithe (Nice) thalad (Salad) to thtart (Start) with, followed by Thainsbury'th thalmon (Salmon)in red wine thorth (Sauce) with a pinth (Pinch) of rowthmary (Rosemary) and a bit o peppaaah (Pepper). And for dethert (Desert), tham (Some)Thainsbury'th thtrawberry thorbet, (Strawberry sorbet). That alwayth theemth (Seems) to get the birdth (Birds) in bed with me! Oh aye! Er....Caw Bwoymey!! (Cor blimey!)..Naaaarh woh aarh meeeen? (Know what I mean?). Spaaaahndyooolaaaah!! (Money). MTGS: Well, thanks, but we've seen your wife so I dont think we'll bother! And that snap (food) would make a bird's cunt smell rancid! JO: What yooo tryin to thay (Say) lowyke? (Like). Gavnaaaahh!!! (Governer). Yooo avin (Having) a laaarf (Joke) aintchaaa? (Aren't you?). (Money). MTGS: Fish smells like rancid fanny. JO: Naaaaahhhh (No)... abaaaaaht (About) mi wife!!!!!! (Money). MTGS: Well we are just saying she's no catch is she, did you use that snap (Food) to get her into bed like? JO: Yethhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! An no mithtakin (Mistaking) gavnnnaaaarh!! (Governer) Me (My) owld (Old) chwoynaaah!!!! (China). (Money). MTGS: We got a tramp off of the street earlier, and put his cock in a scuffler, and your wife just divorced you and married him! She kissed his filthy widgie aswell. JO: Thaaaaarkin (Fucking) caaaanthhhhhh! (Cunts). Owayh (I) daawhn't (Don't) beleyve (Believe) ya! (You). An aww daaaahh!! (And all that). Bweth ya (Bless you)...mee (My) dew'eee (Dirty) ...Dew'heee (Dirty)...Dennnnaaahhh!!!! (Dennis). (Money). MTGS: Would you like to come outside right now and see for yourself? She's there, having it off on a Sainsbury's advertising campaign contract. JO:.....Doooo meee a fayvaaahh! (Do me a favour)....Appewz (Apples) an staaaayyyzz (Stairs)...Dog an bownnah! (Phone)...Bowys (Boys) and Gawz (Girls.....Naaaaaaaaahh! (No)... Bwaaaavaaaahhh!!! (Brother) Maaahnkkeyh! (Twenty Pounds) (Money)....Cop (Catch) A batchaaasss (Butcher's ) Haaack (Hook) (Look).. mowyah (My)...owldah (Old) maaaahn (Man...sed. (Said)...Fawaaaahhh (Follow) Dah (The) Vaaaahn (Van)...... Mannnnhaaayyy!! (Money). At this point we went outside and proved in our own way how southerners and softer than us northerners hmmphh hmmm hmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm |
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