kojak

No one could knack Steve Austen because they were scared!
Everyone decided to smack Jacko and beat Dudley the most! Kojak got a good hiding but there were so many of him that he outnumbered the others by a ratio of 4 to 1!

MTGS Interviewed Kojak off of TV whilst he was still alive!

MTGS: Hello Kojak off of TV. Now, did you like playing that bloke robot off of West World and that?
TS: Robot what?
MTGS: OK...OK... Your role as Kojak, did you eat lollipops all of the time?
TS: Ah, well, that was my idea. You see, I just had to bring in a cutesy thing into the role.
MTGS: I see.... Did you ever think that your brother would have more hair than you, considering you're a bald Greek American broken nosed copper?
TS: What the fuck has that got to do with anything? You God damn lousy Pom!!!! (Who loves ya baby!)
MTGS: That was one of your catch phrases there. Did you ever do any of your own stunts? Even in that Hammer Horror called "The Horror Express"?
TS: Well, that's for me to know and you not to pussy cat! He he he!
MTGS: SO, you went on to captain the Starship Enterprise, what was that like, considering your Mirfield West Yorkshire background?
TS: What???? The what?? Heyyyy! I'm not William Shatner! Heyyyy! I'm Telly Savalas!
MTGS: Off of Jim'll Fix It?
TS: Jim'll what the fuck mother fucker fuck outa my face motherfucker?
MTGS: There's no need to talk like that you daft bald cunt!
TS: Get tha fuck outa here all ready! Jeeez Louise! What do you guys take me for ah? ah?!! Pizza! Bella motha fucka!!!

MTGS:So.....you played Ghandi in the 80s. Did you ever visit Bradford?
TS: You talkin shit now fuckin motha fucka! Eat my shorts you bastard puff!
MTGS: Calm down!!! There really is no need for this outburst bonanza! Is tha all right?
TS: Suck my little twin down in my pants! Motha fucka! Who loves ya baby?!
MTGS:I'm sorry Kojak! Please don't stop developing my photographs by post and that!
TS: Now you are takin da fuckin piss motha fucka! Come on....come onnnn! Let me fuckin hit you face you bitch bastard cunt!
MTGS: Wow! Such vile language for a much loved Television hero like you.....Mr Goodhew!
TS: Which one of you punks wants a nose like mine first eh? Eh?!!! Come on! Bring it fuckin on pussy cat!!!
MTGS! Calm down Mr Stewart! We're truly sorry for any offense caused! We really are.
TS: Well then, in that case.....it dunt matter. Just behave and be nice!....Er...Pussy cat!
MTGS: Thanks for the time and trouble Mr Vision.
TS: SAVALAS! Wise guys! Have you seen me Pollish at all lads?
We then learned of Mr Kojak's demise and paid tibute to him by singing "IF" on the radio. We then stood on his corpse and shouted, "LOOK!!! We're on Telly!!"