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| MTGS TALKS TO HMS ENTERPRISE CAPT' KURT IN ANOTHER EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!! |
| MTGS:Is it true that Derrick Nimoy and all the others like Scotty and Bones and Zulu and Lulu off of Star wars hated you? BS: Aha......ha......Aha....! No, really....that's just....IDLE ....GOssip, created out of ENVY,... |
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| becAUSE, I got all the women. Nothing more...........that ....is....the only....REASON. Yes... MTGS: Getting away from Star wars,.. BS: Staaar, a TREK.... MTGS:Ok, whatever it's called...you made various appearences on telly in things such as COlumbus, the detective in a rainMac', The Twighlight Zone, as a mammy's boy on a 'plane, and finally as a copper in T.J Hooker. (Incidentally, you were Captain T. Kirk in Dr Who.. BS: Staaar, a TREK...... MTGS:...And also T in T.J.Hooker. What is it with the T? Does it mean anything at all? |
| MTGS: Good evening Mr Shatner. Firstly, could I ask you to refrain from singing anything at all? BS: Ah,....sure, sure.....My sinGING voice HAS, over the years, suffered THROUGH, THE, effects of many appearences both ON stage, AND on SCREEN. So, I SEE, no problem, THERE. MTGS: Thankyou. Now, back in the '60s, you were a bit of a womaniser in your role of Captain Piccard, was it tha same off screen? BS: Hmmmm,....Firstly, .....I....WAS ...Captain KIRK,...of the Starship ENTERPRISE.........and secondly......DESPITE, what my FELLOW, crew members MAY os MAY , HAVE, NOT, told you, I was actually a BIT of a womaniser OFF of Screen too. In fact,.....there was....once THIS, amazing YOUNG lady, with who'm I...DID.... |
| BS: The T in CapTAIN T KIRK stands FOR Tiberius......The T IN T.J. stands for Tiberius Jew. As I AM A.....Jew from Canada, also a VEGETARIAN who likes TO RIDE horses a bit WEAR ING a toupe'. MTGS: Have you any plans for the future at all SHITNER? BS: That IS SHATner my friend....AHa.....ha...Aha... Hmmmmm! Future.....(Breath in sharply) PlansYes...........I .....have given it SOME though,....and I MUST SAY.......I intend to build a large DOME from where I may live and WATCH all the people of THE ...Earth... slowly suffer the CONSEQUENCES.... of mankind's PRIMAL instict to DESTROY each other. I shall drink Hey Brother's fizzy pop and eat some crisp sarnies as this happens. My WIFE, will attend to all the menial tasks as I AM A CAPTAIN, Bones, YEs, ME! Doctor Spock, ....... MTGS:......Yers......erm,...SO, Bill......Thankyou for letting us glean that. I wish you all the best in the future and give our regards to your wife Edna . BS: Aaaah! The sweet creature....MAN's MATE ....wife. Eternal soulmate and KITCHEN maid..........! I take her in MY ARMS ....and paint her FACE green just like off of that un where I neck wi that green alien bird, aye.......Then I wrestle wi BErnard Bresslaw up against A MIGHTY rock and all the...... MTGS:Goodbye SHitner and close the door on the way out please....Oh, will you take this bag of onion scrapings with you to the bin? Oh...By the way.....Didn't your wife die a bit back in the swimming pool with a cat? |
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| Bill Shatner in the 1960s as commander of the space ship Enterprise. His first chief commander was an alien with sharp ears and no feelings apart from curiosity was called Spack or something. |
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