"It's a giraffe ornament. What's up wi thi?" Replied a calm and sober Nobdrops.Twatty had just woken from his slumber and feared for his tiny life.
" No.. We're only about three     inches tall.." Nobdrops announced. " AND we live in a    dog's arse." It was true....they did really live in a dog's arse!
Twatty reflected slightly on his embarrassing mistake, then said-cheerfully, "Aye..we do.Come on, Let's go for a walk on the carpet." Nobdrops thought that was a great idea and exitedly replied, " Aye, go on then." They both clambred to the edge of the manle piece.
THUMPHF!!
They both let go and down they fell through the air. Down and down until with a thumphf...they landed on the medium shag hearth rug on the carpet. "Oooh! Me fuckin' arse!!"Cried Twatty," (Although, gravity doesn't effect us as hard, as we are  only about three inches tall!)" He was right. If they had been normal height, it would have been about a one hundred and forty foot fall! Nobdrops rubbed himself and said, " Aye! Me  back an all!! Oooh!" Lucky they were only small bastards!
When they had stopped moaning about that drop, they heard a frightful thudding noise. It was the foosteps of a normal person coming into the room! "Oooh shite! Lookout!  Arse!"Twatty pointed, " It's a giant (again) Come to stomp on us!"They both looked up in horror. Nobdrops bit his tiny fingernails in sheer fright. Twatty felt like trumping aloud.
In stepped the normal sized person, with cup in hand. It stepped normally upon the carpet causing Twatty and Nobdrops to run for it. "We'll have to run for it mert!"Twatty cried."Go for the VCR, (again!) " Nobdrops suggested alarmed and sweating. They turned for the VCR cabinet and ran like buggery from the moderate walk of the "Giant" as it went to sit down nicely to watch the telly and sup its tea.
They ran towards the cabinet,desperate to outrun the normal person and hide in the VCR. Twatty urged, "FASTER! It might see us! Faster!!" They both ran a little bit faster. Nobdrops nearly tripped over the X Box controller cable. All the time, they watched to make sure they hadn't been spotted.
They both lunged into the front loader slot.!Gerrin!! Quick!  Shift over...!" Twatty shouted as pearls of sweat ran down his brow."There's a   bastard video tape in!"Declared Nobdrops."What is it?" Twatty asked. "Bob and the kid"? Urgh!"Twatty scraped past, " Never heared of it." He said confused and scared. They continued to try to insert their tiny proportions through the slot....
"It's Scottish or summert! I dun't know! Nobdrops said." Watch me arse! It's stuck on t floating erase head!"He whinced as his bottom which was the size of an old half penny piece was caught on one of the erase heads on the video machine. They scrambled to get in despite the sheer agony and awkwardness of the whole sad affair. Tiny and painful.
The normal sized person sat down, relaxed and picked up the VCS remote controll handset. Twatty and Nobdrops looked out through the slot and saw that it was about to press play. "SHITE! It's turned t VCR on play!"They both screamed simultaniously, in a sort of rehearsed and unrealistic way. "We're knackered nar! Aaargh!"Me bollocks are wrapped round t bastard drum!! Twatty cried in agony."Scream! Watch out!!!!"Yelled Nobdrops.
The video jumped into action. Whirring and whizzing, popping and clacking. The tiny little bastards were dragged into the inner workings and subject to electronic torture as the machine came to life. Suddenly, the picture cleared and the two figures of about three inches in height appeared to float and fly about the screen."It's crap being on telly innit?" Said Twatty. "Aye... it's shite!"Answered Nobdrops. "Wish we were back in the dog's arse!" "Aye...Nice n warm!*SOB*!"Cried Twatty. The normal sized person thought it was a crap video and went to sleep on its chin.
copyright MTGS MM1V
Photography by
MTGS
&
Rob' Butcher.
Digital manipulation by Trev
Written & Posed by MTGS
(Thanks to Robert)
Shot at Mark's Pallace, Yorkshire England.
Soon...
Just then...
FALL!!!!
One day, in a house which was so  special-that it had two small people  living in it, a stirring on the mantlepiece.."AAAaarrrgh!!!!!!!!! What's that??" Cried Twatty.
We Live In a Dog's Arse!
Two blokes who were about three inches tall, lived in a dog's arse. Join them on their many adventures around a house.
copyright mtgs MMIV
"Remember? We're only about 3 inches tall."He reminded Twatty that they were indeed, tiny people.
( Dog's arse! )
"Oh aye!"Said Twatty. " I thought it was going to knack me for a moment! He he."He looked at the small giraffe ornament sitting on the mantle. He felt well daft!.