When the first alarm subsided, the tulip-holders in the several towns held public meetings to devise what measures were best to be taken to restore public credit. It was generally agreed, that deputies should be sent from all parts to Amsterdam, to consult with the government upon some remedy for the evil. The Government at first refused to interfere, but advised the tulip-holders to agree to some plan among themselves. Several meetings were held for this purpose; but no measure could be devised likely to give satisfaction to the deluded people, or repair even a slight portion of the mischief that had been done. The language of complaint and reproach was in sorry to have to come to you like this, but you know how these things can beeverybody's mouth, and all the meetings were of the most stormy character. AtI mean, I hate to act paranoid, but you really can't be too careful. last, however, after much bickering and ill-will, it was agreed, at You see, THEY have agents everywhere.Amsterdam, by the assembled deputies, that all contracts made in the height of the mania, or prior to the month of November 1636, should be declared null and void, and that, in those made after that date, I realize we do a lot of talking about Them and Their actions, but I think the time has come to let you in on a little secret about Them - They don't know They're Them. Really! You'd think it was obvious, but it isn't - and that's the sinister thing about it all!purchasers should be freed from their engagements, on paying ten per cent. to the vendor. This decision gave no satisfaction. The vendors who had their tulips on hand were, of course, discontented, and those who had pledged themselves to purchase, thought themselves hardly treated. Tulips which had, at one time, been worth six thousand florinsThe tricky part is that you can see evidence of Them everywhere - hell, just watch the news sometimes - and you get fooled into thinking "Oh yeah - look at that guy - he's gotta be one of Them." But if you ever get to meet one of Them close up, you'll start to see the problem., were now to be procured for five hundred; so that the composition of ten per cent. was one hundred florins more than the actual value. Actions for breach of contract were threatened in all the courts of the country; but the latter refused to take cognizance of They may be a bit boring, but some of them are even nice people. And they're not even consciously trying to make the world a hellish place filled with undead shrines to Greyface - it just works out that way.gambling transactions.

The matter was finally referred to the Provincial Council at the Hague, and it was confidently expected that the wisdom of this body would invent some meaIf the truth be told, we've been misleading you a bit getting you all riled up about Them. We had to do it, though, because if you've made it this far, you've probably already noticed Their presence and been tipped off to Their activities.sure by which credit should be restored. Expectation was on the stretch for its decision, but it never came. The members continued to deliberate week after week, and at last, after thinking about it for three months, declared that they could offer no final decision until they had more information. They advised, however, that, in the mean time, every vendor should, in the presence of witnesses, offer the tulips in natura to the purchaser for the sums agreed upon. If the latter refused to take them, they might be put up for sale by public auction, and the original contractor held responsible for the difference between the actual and the stipulated price. This was exactly the plan recommended by the deputies, and which was already shoThe funny thing is, They only exist in your mind. Not like the voices - I'm talking about the same way that Order and Chaos exist in your mind. Your notion of Them is a reaction to a facet of the Outside World that keeps waving itself in your face.wn to be of no avail. There was no court in Holland which would enforce payment. The question was raised in Amsterdam, but the judges unanimously refused to interfere, on the ground that debts contracted in gambling were no debts in law.

Thus the matter rested. To find a remedy was beyond the power of the government. Those who were unlLook at it like an avalanche. When an avalanche completely overwhelms you, all you see is snow and some rocks and sticks and crap. But really, an avalanche is much more than that. Those snowflakes, rocks, sticks, and crap were already on that mountainside, all crammed together with potential energy and terrain and everything.ucky enough to have had stores of tulips on hand at the time of the sudden reaction were left to bear their ruin as philosophically as they could; those who had made profits were allowed to keep them; but the commerce of the country suffered a severe sIn fact, when you talk about an avalanche, you're really talking about a System - a wildly complex interaction of so many things that your puny little mind can't begin to grasp them. You're talking about a System with such an intensive level of organization that no micro-patterns can be detected. Organization so thorough that the net effect is chaos.hock, from which it was many years ere it recovered.

The example of the Dutch was imitated to some extent in England. In the year 1636 tulips were publicly sold in the Exchange of London, and the jobbers exerted themselves to the utmost to raise them to the fictitious value they had acquired in Amsterdam. In Paris also the jobbers strove to create a tulipomania. In both cities they only partially succeeded. HoweYou're talking about The Bureaucracy, baby....ver, the force of example brought the flowers into great favour, and amongst a certain class of people tulips have ever since been prized more highly than any other flowers of the field. The Dutch are still notorious for their partiality to them, and continue to pay higher prices for them than any other people. As the rich Englishman boasts of his fine race-horses or his old pictures, so does the wealthy Dutchman vaunt him of his tulips.

In England, in our day, strange as it may appear, a tulip will produce more money than an oak. If one could be found, rara in tetris, and black as the black swan alluded to by Juvenal, its price would equal that of a dozen acres of standing corn. In Scotland, towards the close of thAnd, just like the snowflakes in the avalanche aren't facing you with any particular malice as they kill you, They aren't filled with any sort of mission or will or intent. They're just plodding along, Thudding along, unwittingly acting out their part in a System so complex that nobody, not even They, can control it.e seventeenth century, the highest price for tulips, according to the authority of a writer in the supplement to the third edition of the "Encyclopedia Britannica," was ten guineas. Their value appears to have diminished from that time till the year 1769, when the two most valuable species in England were the Don Quevedo and the ValThis is also the reason why you shouldn't waste a lot of time attacking the individual members of the System - oh don't get me wrong, by all means fuck with them if you can do it in a clever or funny way, but don't let them get you too uptight.entinier, the former of which was worth two guineas and the latter two guineas and a half. These prices appear to have been the minimum. In the year 1800, a common price was fifteen guineas for a single bulb. In 1835, so foolish were the fanciers, that a bulb of the species called the Miss FanSee, you don't even need to worry about them - you need to worry about the System, because that's the thing that's going to get us all in the end. That's the thing that's going to starve you, exclude you, keep you poor and marginalized if you don't play ball. But cheer up, fellow Discordians - while They're asleep, we are awake. While They let the System drive them, we are seeking out places within the system where we can hide, places where we can exploit the system, places where we can (dare I say it?) MILK the system.ny Kemble was sold by public auction in London for seventy-five pounds. Still more astonishing was the price of a tulip in the possession of a gardener in the King's Road, Chelsea. In his catalogues, it was labelled at two hundred guineas! Thus a flower, which for beauty and perfume was surpassed by the abundant roses of the garden,--a nosegay of which might be purchased for a penny,--was pAs they say, "Don't be a sap - waste no time in turning rogue!riced at a sum which would have provided an industrious labourer and his family with food, and clothes, and lodging for six years! Should chickweed and groundsel ever come into fashion, the wealthy would, no doubt, vie with each other in adorning their gardens with them, and paying the most extravagant prices for them. In so doing, they would hardly be more foolish than the admirers of tulips. The common prices for these flowers at the present time vary from five to fifteen guineas, according to the rarity of the speciwe now return you to your regularly scheduled programming....es.