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Discordianism has a proud tradition (going back to about last
Thursday) of getting new members to choose their own Holy Name - like the
Beatus Ffungo (no, I wasn't born a Beatus - that took years of hard work
and piety, until I wised up). For what it's worth, the Principia
points out that the choosing of Holy Names isn't unique to Discordians,
citing the example of Pope Paul IV failing to be born of Mr. and Mrs. IV.
Exactly why we do this is, like most things in Discordianism, is
somewhat unclear. Some maintain that we were named after Thuddites, so
changing names is the only reasonable thing to do. Others think that
giving yourself a silly name can help you remember that taking yourself
too seriously is a Big Sin. Then, there's the contingent that thinks it's
all just a big laugh. Of course, all views are considered Doctrinally
Correct. In any case, the choosing of a name is a very powerful event, which is why we recommend doing as often as possible. Names are really just Magick Words that we associate with actual items that can trap them by defining them. Since we're going to be trapped like this anyway, there is value in doing it ourselves - it gives us more control, and it's kind of a kick. There are actually many different levels of naming, or claiming an identity: |
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| Declaration of Existence The simplest level of naming occurs when something is named just to show that it exists. When Jehova was talking to Moses in that whole burning bush scene, Moses asked him for some I.D. Exodus 3:14. "And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you." In other words, he was just saying that he existed, and that was enough for a bunch of people to follow Charlton Heston into the desert. Or something. |
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| Declaration of Exclusion A second level occurs when the claimed identity is used to distinguish oneself from something else, defined or not. Calling oneself a "Discordian" is a claim that excludes certain traits and beliefs, unless you're a snivling hypocritical sack of shit (a.k.a. "Those Who Disagree With Me"). This exclusionary statement of identity has been used most effectively by the great Prophet Popeye, who frequently says, "I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam!". Note how Popeye cleverly expands upon the work of Jehova, who came much earlier (c. 4500 years). |
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| Declaration of Identity This highest level of naming is the one performed by Discordians everywhere when they quit being John Doe and start being The Right Reverend Blotto von Crockstein. In the previous levels, the identity is hidden behind declarative statments - "I exist" and "I am unique". In this level, the true Magick of the name stands alone - no defining claims are needed. Indeed, the sense of identity can just be forming, in which case the identity is a goal, an active attempt at becoming one's own avatar. This is most clearly demonstrated in the Prophet Beavis, when he declares, "I am Cornholio!". No further explanation should be required. |
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