thoughts long forgotten to me.
thoughts i felt were behind me
are now staring at my face
into my soul, they peer
violating my self
violating the security
of my being.
why they come back
why they must haunt
why they insist
on tempting my soul
this is a riddle
not just to my mind
but to me myself.
the swings of emotion
wrench my heart
tear it to pieces
and feed it to the dogs
i may not desire this
i may detest it
yet i welcome it
it sparks
a want
a desire
a LUST
to feel it.
silence sounds so beautiful,
the quiet sounds so sweet.
why must i ignore it?
obligations are my dictator
my
principles lead me to these thoughts
principles keep me from my desires
principles open my mind
yet
principles deny what i want.
principles
my want, my being
principles
a wicked paradox
they guide me
yet laugh at me
they inspire me
yet burden me
how can one go on
obeying
that which
hinders
the
soul?
.