my mind hurts me
it insults me
it tells me
what i think of me
i feel pain
but i am not insulted
for it enlightens me
and heals
the scars that run deep
are sutured by my ignorance
my intoxication
fuels my essence
why must it try so
hard to demean me
pain with joy
joy with pain
i am baffled
yet lustfully enticed
an unrestricted fuck
a complete
disregard
of all that should be
respected
cherished
and held close
is now simple lust.
pain inspires
hurt thrills me
massochistic? yes.
why?
no answer. i hate pain.
do I?