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| Q: Who the hell are you guys and what is wrong with you? A: We are some college students that find it necessary to share our thoughts, adventures, immaturity, and humor with you like it or not. And we're drunk and bored. Q: What kind of cerial do you like? A: Good question. Well, it ranges. Enoonmai prefers Kashi Good Friends. But those of us that don't want truckloads of fiber, Cap'n Crunch is where it's at. Q: What you boys need to do is get an education and a job. A: Hey, dammit! That's not a question. Q: Why did Enoonmai finally decide to put graphics on his page after protesting it with such hatred? A: Oh, that's easy. He sucks. Q: Jesus Christ, you guys are super suave and super sexy. Can I have your babies? A: We understand how sexually appealing we are. However, if we impregnated all women that think this, we couldn't update the site due to constant sex. Send a picture. Q: I heard El Spico is lazy, is that true? A: (Professor:) Sometimes I wake up for work at like 7:30 am or so... I see El Spico on the couch. He is sleeping. Sometimes when I come home from work at like 5:30 or 6 pm... I see El Spico on the couch. He is sleeping. Other times he may have actually sat up, grabbed a controller and started playing madden 2002. He's definitely our guy on the couch. Q: (Danimal askes us:) -1) If you feed animals rogaine, will they grow more hair? -2) If you had a peg leg, what would frighten you more, beavers, termites, bitter rabid parrots who were abused by pirates in a previous life, or cavemen? -3) What would the world be like if everyone had three arms and only one leg? A: (Professor and Enoonmai) -1) (Enoonmai): Of course they would grow more hair, at least in theory. I once tested this theory on an unsuspecting wolverine, but in the end it only reproduced a being now known as Peter Kenar. How exactly this works is still a mystery to me (partly because I just failed to care anymore or got drunk, same as same) but I assure you, that man has the hairiest ass I have ever seen in my life. Oh lord how it turns me on, like fucking a groove between two raccoons. (Professor): I think it would make hair start growing out of their throat and ass. Next. -2) (Enoonmai): If I had wooden leg, I would fear the rabid parrot the most. Birds scare me, because lets face it, how can you trust an animal if it can't pass gas? That should be a requirement for life as far as I'm concerned. Plus they would try and molest me with bird like seduction, and I'm just not into that beastiality thing, unless the animal in question buys me a drink, then its fair game. (Professor): I agree with Enoonmai on this one, definitely the bird. Especially a rabid one... at least if the other shit bit me I wouldn't need shots... -3) (Enoonmai): Way more circle jerks, a more justifiable reason to have a three some, I could go on for days, but I won't. Ha. (Professor): Less Olympics, more piano playing. Q: (Sean S. asks us:) Is Darkthrone One or is it infact more than one? And if it is more than one then why, and if it is more than one then please explain that also. A: (Enoomai:) First off, what kind of fucking sentence is that. As a true Darkthrone fan, even I was confused by your Darkthroneing here, which is hard to do. First of all, there are two being in Darkthrone: Fenriz and Nocturno Culto. But by definition, Darkthrone is omnipresent, so I guess it is one, but also more than one. I hope this answer confuses you as much as your question confuses me. Q: (VBonham01 asks us:) Could Nocturno Culto defeat Frank Zappa when he was alive, or would Zappa's powers over the nonsensical be to much for Nocturno's dominion over the evil frozen forests of Norway? A: (Professor): Frank Zappa was sweet, and I know this will piss Enoonmai off, so I'll say Zappa. I'll add to that and say he doesn't even have to use his powers of the nonsensical to beat Nocturno. Frank Zappa bitch slaps those hooligans. (Enoonmai): Short answer, Nocturno Culto would reach into the afterlife and bitchslap Zappa to level 2 death. Long answer, Nocturno Culto is one man you stupid Professor, and no mortal power can stop him. Just give up. Look at his hair, all will be revealed. (Sober Mike): Nocturno Culto would dominate Frank Zappa, and Frank Zappa, after which Zappa would serve Nocturno Culto faithfully for the remainder of eternity. Q: (VBonham01 asks us:) So what is the deal with all the crazy highway trees that have recently developed a taste for blood, is this a temporary thing or is it something we are going to have to deal with for a long ime. Also how do you feal about the current trend that has befallen the Chicago Football Bears? Where do you see the problem and what do you think they should do about it. A: (Professor): Let's start with those trees. I believe it means that nature is finally turning against us. We devour it, and love it.... NOW THEY HAVE FIGURED OUT THE FUNS OF DEVOURING. Bunnies shall feast upon us! Cows will lick our bones clean! Monkeys will fling poo at us! Even the little butterflies will take part in the action by chewing off our skin! Yeah buddy, we're screwed, it ain't going away. Now for those Bears. Um, yeah, that injury thing obviously sucks. Not much you can do about a shitload of broken guys. I think they should clone their players - one gets hurt, throw #2 on the field, and so forth. (Enoonmai): It is natural for the forest to develop a taste for blood, we have treated it poorly for so long; I hope the forest kills off humanity for the good of the Earth. As for the Bears, a new couple of corners, 2 new DTs, 2 new OTs and more depth at the guard possitions might help us cover for the fact that we don't have a quarterback worth a shit. And fuck Burris. (Sober Mike): The highway trees will continue to be a danger to us until we mobilize an army of lumberjacks and beavers to deal with the tree menace. However, this will in turn give the beavers a taste for blood. I cannot currenlty forsee a solution for that, unless we get some French fur trappers to help us out; and I for one have too much pride to ask those uppity cheese eating wine drinking frogs for their assistance in anything. As for the Bears, well, at least they aren't the Lions. Q: (Marky Rob asks us:) hi this is marky rob, and i want to know if dolphins have allergies. A: (Professor): This is a very to-the-point question. I am dissapointed that more people don't worry about tidbits like this that are more relevant to your daily life than bullshit like food and shelter. 87.378% of Dolphins are allergic to non-tuna infested waters. This is why so many dolphins are caught in tuna nets. Survival of the strongest, I say! We should let the dumbass dolphins die!! One day we will live in a world with dolphins that are immune to non-tuna alergies! (Sober Mike): I have allergies. They fucking suck. Plus I hate the Dolphins, what with them always doing good and being in the same division as the Jets. Plus, what the fuck is up with the team name? Why would a football team be named after a sub-par fish? I say sub-par because they aren't even good enough to breathe underwater. They have to come up for air, yet they are too pussy to live on the ground with the rest of us. Damn Dolphins. |