From the Logbook of the Kagin Freedom Corps
I glanced at the clock, impatient to be gone, “Doncha think this could wait? I have a class in 10 minutes in Olin-Rice.”
Jeremy shook his head, “No, it’s now or never.” Cautiously standing up from between the rows of stacked glasses, he surveyed the area. “Okay, two bogeys approaching from the Northeast quadrant.” He ducked as two workers passed by wearing their trademark Bon Appetit aprons. Peering over the cartons again, he eyed the Exit sign which glowed invitingly from across the eating area. So near, and yet so far.
Shrugging out of my coat, I sank to the floor with a groan, “Look, you’re gonna make me late for Chemistry...you can do this at any time, so can’t you wait to fulfill your sick obsessions when I don’t have a lecture looming over me?”
He turned slightly, eyes still darting across Kagin for signs of life, “It’s not a sick obsession...it’s just something that I feel I need to do. If you don’t have the guts to go through with it, just tell me now. You won’t be implicated if I get caught.”
“STEALING A TRAY FROM KAGIN IS SOMETHING YOU JUST HAVE TO DO?!!!” He stopped my incredulous outburst with a warning look. Over us, a student worker passed, on her way to duties unknown.
“Look,” he whispered urgently, “I already told you...repeatedly I might add, I need to do this, it’s my duty. And besides, it’s not just any tray, its the Tray of Loungeboy MM. C’mon, its the millennial edition. It has to be freed from this place. Not only that, but everyone else who has tried has failed.” He paused for emphasis, “I’m all they have left.”
I sighed. If he was going to make a fool of himself tryiing to steal a tray, the least I could do was be a watchdog for him. Besides, once he finished this, maybe he’d drop the slightly maniacal gleam that had entered his eyes after he’d first been informed of his assignment by the leader of the Kagin Freedom Corps. “Okay, okay, I’ll watch for ‘bogeys.’” I was resigned to my fate now, “Any time you’re ready.”
Grinning now, his expression was the studious blank of gambler laying his chips on the table, “All right. Initiating Operation Risky Retrieval...3...2...1...” And then he was darting out from behind the glass towers and around the stairwell to the table of trays. Standing gave me a better view of events, and I watched with disbelief as he proceeded to take down one stack of trays and hide under the table with them.
“Oh damn, he doesn’t even know where the stupid tray is,” I cursed under my breath. A minute passed, then another. I was going to be seriously late for Chem 11. No getting around that.
Out from under the table he emerged, settling the stack of trays back on the table, and picking up another stack. Seeing me, he gave me the thumbs down and went back under the table once more. Minutes later, he emerged once again to get new trays. I kept watch, af first diligently, and then with less enthusiasm as he went through the stacks one by one, in search of the elusive Millennial Loungeboy. Finally, he was down to one last stack, and I was a full 45 minutes late for Chemistry. I watched with relief as he plucked the last tray stack from the table, and then with horror as he overbalanced and dumped the whole thing on the floor. The crash resounded throughout the cafeteria.
After a catastrophe there is always that moment of pure silence, when everything in the world is held in perfect balance, right and wrong, life and death, truth and falsehood. In that moment, I saw his look of shock and disbelief change into despair. Sounds of confusion were coming from the Back Alley, and I knew that it was past time to be gone.
He was still in shock, unable to move. I could see his lips trying to form words...trying to find out where he had gone wrong. There was no time. I leapt out from behind the glasses, tipping the crates to the floor. Glass shattered as they landed, each crate an explosion of sharp sound. Rebounding off the far wall, I reached Jeremy in time to see several of Kagin’s finest approaching. “We have to go,” I gasped, grabbing his arm and beginning the long run to safety. Before I could get very far, he wrenched free with a delighted cry and grabbed a tray off the ground. Clutching it to his chest, he cleared the stairs in three jumps. I followed as best as I could, but the urgency of getting his prize out of Kagin lent wings to his feet. Two hard steps from the stairs and I was outside. Behind me, I could hear yells of outrage, but I didn’t care so long as they didn’t know who I was.
We sprinted around Doty, then doubled back towards Dupre at a slower pace, so as not to look suspicious. Jeremy wore an expression blissful expression on his face, and it was hard to keep a smile from my own. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the grass was growing... Fiasco in Kagin or not, it was a beautiful day.
“Hey Jeremy, can I see the prize?” He turned to me, nodded, and ducked behind a tree. Blocked from anyone’s line of sight, he pulled the tray out from under his shirt and handed it to me.
I felt it, it was the same industrial blue-gray as all the others, the same brand name, the same weight and size...and yet it was different somehow. I flipped it over, exposing the legacy that Loungeboy had left his followers. On the tray, in a neat script that defied all my attempts at tray-carving were the words:
Loungeboy MMI
