Picture this final battle: A one-armed boxer, bruised and battered from a recent attack with both Thai and Japanese martial arts masters, fights for his life against the blind, superhuman Master of the Flying Guillotine in a booby-trap-filled coffin shop. The one-armed boxer hangs by legs from rafters, tossing stones at coffin lids in a trick to confuse the Master while activating axe-throwing devices. Two axes flail into the Master's chest, but he continues his Flying Guillotine tossing onslaught. Finally, the one-armed boxer succeeds in defeating the old man, through a severe one-handed titty-twister and one final axe, which is kicked straight through the Master's chest, followed by a punch with enough force to crush stone. Another typical scene in this classic Kung-Fu masterpiece filled with enough one-on-one martial arts action to satiate even the most hardcore of Kung-Fu fans.
The action of this movie makes up both for its strange logic, and lack of story. The blind Master of the Flying Guillotine's two disciples have been killed by a one-armed boxer. The Master vows revenge, and goes on a crazy one-armed man head-popping spree. Strange enough, the area of China where this movie takes place has the highest concentration of one-armed men in the world.
The one-armed boxer is a master of his own school, and, for no particular reason, demonstrates the art of flying, to his students. This involves special breathing techniques that allow a person to be full of enough air that they can jump really high, and walk on walls. Laugh, all you want, a friend of mine, who happens to practice various types of martial arts, showed me this technique in real life. I kicked him in balls as he breathed in, and he floated off into the sky. I haven't heard from him since.
A martial arts tournament takes up a good half hour of the film, and though it has only little relevancy to the movie as a whole, the battles within the tournament are amazing, ranging from sword battles, to battles of chi, to balancing acts on poles and spears. Each fight is shown in its entirety (until the Master shows up and starts popping heads again), and are one of the highlights of the film.
The Flying Guillotine is an interesting weapon. Strangely enough, and this is not to joke, its appearance, when closed, is that of a pink tampon. Lovely thoughts aside, it expands into a gaping orifice, from which jagged blades extend and twirl at remarkable speeds when a connecting chain is pulled. It also sounds suspiciously like a gun firing. Sexual metaphors be damned, this thing is a head castrator, capable of slicing through metal, meat, and bone. A lovely basket extends from the device, to allow for easy plopping-head catching. part two: Nazi correlation? |
The fighters involved in the tournament are very interesting. I
suspect that the guys at Capcom were big fans of this movie, gaining
inspiration for some of their Street Fighter characters.
Especially with the arm-stretching Indian fighter, who is one of the
Master's henchmen. There is also a powerful Thai boxer, who is
the second to last fighter that the one-armed boxer must face.
They finally duke it out in a burning hut, where the Thai's shoeless
feet are grilled to a crisp from a metal sheet lining the floor.
Finally, there is a female character, who's father is murdered by the
Master, who looks suspiciously like Chun-Li.