Rat Race
Jebus of Nazareth dines on penis. Read his review.
Total Recall
I can't recall (hoho) what I liked about this movie. Wait, I remember, TRI-TITS. WHOOO.
Master of the Flying Guillotine
Ace is a lazy faggot who can't put this here himself.
American Pie 2
Sheer horror. But it has lesbians. Not real, ugly, dyke lesbians. Hot ones. So it can't be all that bad.
Falling Down
I've never seen it, but Space Ghost wrote this. READ IT.
Disco Godfather
This review fucking sucks.
The Class of 1999 II: The Substitute
Not starring Patrick Duffy, but enjoy the picture of him as a robot cowboy.
On the Beat with Ace Kendo 13: The Mummy Returns
Ignore most of it, and admire the lovely picture of the The Rock. Smell what he is cooking.
Gladiator
My (gay) review of the movie Gladiator. It ruins the end of the movie, but its fantastic anyway.
Ninja Scroll
A splendid review of Ninja Scroll by my comrade (commie buddy) Seru40.
MVP: Most Valuable Primate
This movie makes Baby Jesus cry.
Christmas Special
Make yourself suicidal, watch these movies.
Godzilla 2000
This movie convinced me to forgive Japan for Pokemon, Pearl Harbor, and vomit porn. It's that good.
Dueling Banjos: Music to Deliverence
Redneck banjo fun! Come on! Fuck an uncle!
MP3 Oddities
I wanna rock.
WWF The Music: Volume 5
Whoever buys a wrestling album deserves to be ripped off.
Limp Bizkit Review
This is NOT a parody of the Linkin Park review. Not at all.
On the Beat: With Ace Kendo 7
Michael Jackson is a rugged fellow.
On the Beat: With Ace Kendo 3
Today, Ace talks about Radiohead. Pink Floyd could kick their ass.
Linkin Park Review
Jennifer Lopez can sing better and has a bigger ass.
Video Games
Super Smash Bros. Melee
This game is like a blowjob from your mother, something that I have intimate knowledge about.
Snake II
Snake-growing fun. And shit.
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
It was not by my hand that this review was once again written poorly.
Super Metroid
Samus Aran is a Space Bounty Hunter, and a slut!
Megaman X
Megaman portrays a civil rights leader fighting for the black man. I think.
Twisted Metal 2
When killing people on foot just isn't enough.
Mars Matrix
I assume it's a game, even if I've never heard of it. Shows what I know.
Final Fight
Are you a man? Not if you haven't played this game.
Michael Jackson's Moonwalker
Rescue little boys! And dance! What a combination.
Ace Kendo On the Beat 14
California Games, a classice look at the 1987 masterpiece from Milton Bradley, makers of Monopoly and crack.
Shenmue
A MSATERPEICE!!!1
Bokosuka Wars
It's like getting raped by a demon.
Army Men
Racism not included.
Wolfenstein 3d
Die Fuhrer Die! Nazis=Extreme Fun
Rampage
Mass destruction, with amazingly familiar characters. They should have better copyright laws.
Super Punch Out!!
Think of this as a sequel to Seru's review, minus everything good.
Adventures of Lolo Trilogy
Gaming indignity, in the form of a fat bloated blue ball.
Ace Kendo on the Beat 6
Goonies II is as fun as Goonies II.
Ace Kendo On the Beat
What the hell does that mean? A look at classics Dig Dug, Bad Dudes, and American Gladiator.
Punchout!!
Little Mac battles against the scourge of exsistance, Mike Tyson.
Karnov
Further proof that fat pimps
make everything better.
