GRATITUDE?

"Captain's log, June twenty second, twenty one fifty two. Things have been pretty quiet for the past few weeks. The section of space we are currently traveling through contains nothing but a few lifeless planetoids. The crew is finding anything they can to keep busy and quite a few are doing repairs and upgrades to systems. I can't wait until we find something new out there. End log." Archer sat back against the wall as he bounced his water polo ball against the opposite wall. Even he was bored and couldn't wait to find something of interest. Porthos was curled up next to him and even he looked bored. Trip was busy with some repairs to some of the control panels around the ship. A few had malfunctioned during the ion storm they went through right before entering this desolate part of space they were in now.

Trip was currently on C deck on his way to repair one of the control panels for the turbo lift. It had been malfunctioning and getting hot. T'Pol was already there trying to work on it herself, but he wanted to have a look. He had his tricorder running as he approached T'Pol and didn't like the readings he was getting. A sudden spike caused him to start running towards T'Pol. "T'Pol, get away from there."

T'Pol glanced up as she heard Tucker's shout. Suddenly he was shoving her away and she watched as he quickly started pushing buttons on the console. It was too late however as the panel exploded. Flames and smoke poured from the panel and an alarm began to blare. The internal extinguisher quickly put the fire out, but there was still smoke in the air.

Trip didn't even have time to think as the panel exploded. He was thrown across the corridor and slammed into the opposite wall where he crumpled to the floor. At least he knew T'Pol had been out of harms way.

T'Pol moved to where Tucker lay. He was unconscious and she could see that his hands were badly burned. Kneeling down, she checked him for a pulse. His heartbeat was fairly strong, but his breathing was a little ragged and she could see blood on the back of his head. Moving to the nearest comm. panel; she called Phlox. "T'Pol to sickbay. We have a medical emergency on C deck section 12."

"I'll be right there Sub Commander." Phlox had heard the alarm, but didn't know what was going on. It was apparently nothing good.

"Archer to T'Pol. What's going on?"

"Sir, Commander Tucker and I were working on a control panel when it exploded. He was thrown across the corridor and has sustained burns to his hands." As she spoke, T'Pol was fighting what she was feeling inside. It was something she hadn't felt before and wondered if it was gratitude. Perhaps if she talked to Phlox about it, he could help her understand. All she knew was that Tucker had saved her life and for that she would have to thank him.

"I'm on my way, T'Pol."

"You might want to just go to sickbay. Phlox will be here before you will."

"Understood." Archer moved quickly out of his quarters and towards the turbo lift. He'd wanted a little excitement in his life, but certainly not this kind. He prayed Trip was okay, but it sounded like his hands might be in bad shape.

T'Pol moved aside as Phlox came up and began examining the Commander. She really hoped he would be alright. His hands didn't look good and if he lost the use of them; she knew it would devastate him. "How is he Doctor?"

"I need to get him to sickbay. Most of his injuries aren't serious, but his hands are pretty badly burned." Phlox moved to where T'Pol stood while the medics got Tucker onto a stretcher. "What happened?"

"I was working on that panel when the Commander came up and shoved me away. He was working on it when it exploded." As hard as she tried; T'Pol couldn't seem to hide her concern.

"Try not to worry Sub Commander. I think he'll be alright, but it may take some time for his hands to heal." Phlox put his hand on her shoulder before moving down the corridor with the stretcher. T'Pol followed alongside.

"He saved my life Doctor and I am confused about what I am experiencing."

"It's not unusual to feel gratitude in a situation like this." At least not for humans; Phlox thought.

"It is for Vulcan's Doctor." T'Pol's brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of it all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few moments later Archer entered sickbay to see Phlox and the medics getting Trip settled on a bio-bed. Moving up beside T'Pol; he could see the concern and confusion on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Sir?"

"I can see you're concerned and confused?" Archer had never seen that in her before.

"I don't know what I'm experiencing sir. Commander Tucker saved my life and suffered injury in the process. I.....I'm confused about what I seem to be feeling." T'Pol had never been so confused and it worried her.

"It's probably gratitude T'Pol. It's a normal reaction to this situation."

"Normal for humans, not for Vulcan's." T'Pol looked up as Doctor Phlox approached them.

"How is he, Doc?" Archer asked.

"He's suffered a concussion with an abrasion to the back of his head. His lungs were slightly scorched when he breathed in some smoke and fire. His hands have been pretty severely burned, but I think with some time they will heal without scars." Phlox had given Tucker a painkiller, antibiotic, and something that would reduce scarring.

"Thank God it's not more serious. How long will he be out of commission?"

"Several weeks at least. His hands will need to be bandaged and those bandages will need to be changed several times a day. He's going to be in a lot of pain despite giving him something for it." Phlox paused before he continued. "The Commander isn't going to like this, but until his hands are better, someone is going to have to help him dress, bathe, and eat."

"You're right, he isn't going to like that." Archer glanced at T'Pol. Perhaps if she were to help Trip with some things it would make her feel better. Of course she couldn't help him bathe and dress, but perhaps eating and a few other things she could help him with. Archer was sure he could get Malcolm and Travis to take turns helping him. "I'm sure I'll have no trouble getting some of the crew to help him. Whether he likes it or not."

"Sir, I would like to go and start getting some volunteers." T'Pol needed something to do. She needed to get out of sickbay and be alone for a while. What she really needed was to meditate . She needed to make sense of what she was feeling and try to bring her feelings back under control.

"Go ahead T'Pol. Let me know when you have the volunteers and we can work out a schedule. I don't think it will be too hard as Trip will probably stay in bed most of the time." Archer knew Trip and he was likely to be embarrassed and depressed about his hands for a little while.

"Yes, sir." With that she turned and left sickbay.

"Is she alright?" Phlox asked.

"I think so. She's just never had anyone save her life before." Archer was going to keep an eye on her just to be sure. "When can I see Trip?"

"He had a pretty good concussion so he'll be out for a couple more hours." Phlox looked at his PADD and continued. "I'll probably keep him here in sickbay until tomorrow for observation."

"Keep me posted. I'd like to see him as soon as he wakes up." Archer was going to have to explain to Trip how he would have to let others help him with almost everything for the next few weeks. As it was, Archer had a hard time imagining Trip unable to do those things.

"Very well." Phlox watched Archer leave and knew he was worried about Tucker and T'Pol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T’Pol was able to get several volunteers to help Commander Tucker until his hands healed. Reed, Mayweather, and Sato had all volunteered and she intended to do what she could for him. It was the least she could do since he saved her life. She’d managed to put her confusion aside while she found the volunteers, but now that she was alone in her quarters the events of the day came back to her.

Lighting her candle, she sat down and prepared to meditate. If the confusion she felt continued, she wasn’t sure she could do her job properly. Commander Tucker had a way of getting on her nerves and now he had to go and do this. He had to cause her all this confusion and feelings of gratitude. That was the wrong attitude and she felt perhaps it was a defense mechanism in order to find fault with someone else instead of herself.

She spent the next several hours meditating and felt better. The desire to show Tucker her appreciation for what he did was still there, but she could deal with it now. Making her way to sickbay, she wanted to see how he was doing before she turned in for the night. As she entered, she saw Captain Archer standing beside Tucker’s bed.

“T’Pol, please join us.” Archer had arrived a short time ago to find Trip semi-conscious and wanting to know if T’Pol was okay.

“How is Commander Tucker?” As she stepped up next to Archer, she could see that Tucker was conscious, but barely.

“Glad…to see…you’re okay.” Was all Trip said before losing consciousness again.

“The Commander needs his rest. I suggest you come back in the morning and he should be more alert.” Phlox didn’t want Tucker to over do it. His head injury was still giving him trouble and Phlox wanted him to rest as much as possible.

“He will be fine?” T’Pol needed to be sure Tucker was going to be okay.

“Eventually, Sub Commander. It’s just going to take a little time.” Phlox pushed some buttons on the bio-bed and took a new set of readings. Tucker was unconscious, but not as deeply as before.

“All he wanted to know when he came to was if you were okay.” Archer could see that T’Pol seemed better than she had been before, but there was still some concern on her face.

“I will have to make sure and let him know I am fine.” Although he had seen her for himself, she doubted he would remember. She knew a little about concussions and the memory could often be sketchy.

“I looked over your list of volunteers and set up a schedule. Travis and Malcolm will help him with things like dressing and bathing. You and Hoshi can help him with eating and grooming.” He hoped that this wouldn’t be too embarrassing for Trip, but there was no choice in the matter. Trip’s hands would be completely useless for a couple of weeks and he would have to accept the help.

“Very good. I am turning in now Captain. Is there anything else you require before I go?”

“No, get some rest T’Pol.” He watched her go and was still worried about her, but for now there wasn’t much he could do. “I’ll see you in the morning Doc.” Archer nodded to him and left to get some sleep.

Trip woke in the middle of the night and was in agony. His head was pounding and his hands throbbed. Groaning from the pain, he lifted his arms and looked at the white bandages around his hands. “No.” ‘God, what am I going to do without my hands?’ He wondered.

“Commander?” Phlox had heard Tucker and moved over to check on him.

“Doc. How bad is it?” He held his hands out to Phlox with a pleading look on his face.

The look on Tucker’s face almost broke Phlox’s heart. His fear that his hands would be no use to him any longer was reflected in his glazed blue eyes. “Your hands will heal Commander and there should be very little scarring.”

“How long?” Trip squeezed his eyes shut from the sharp pain that went through his head.

Phlox didn’t miss that Tucker was in pain. Picking up a hypo-spray, he gave him something for the pain. “A few weeks Commander. You’re going to have to get used to people helping you with most things until then.”

“This can’t be happening.” He whispered as the pain medicine kicked in and he started to drift off again.

“I’m sorry Commander.” Phlox could definitely sympathize. He didn’t know what he’d do without the use of his hands and Commander Tucker really needed his as Chief Engineer. At least it wasn’t a permanent situation. As soon as Tucker was out again, Phlox changed his bandages and applied more of the healing ointment.

Archer walked into sickbay just as Phlox was finishing with Trip’s hands. “How is he, Doc?”

“Resting. He woke a short time ago and was in a lot of pain. I gave him something for it, so he’ll be out for the rest of the night.” He could see that Archer hadn’t been sleeping. There were circles under his eyes and his eyes were blood shot. “I’ve assured him that his hands will heal, but he was rather unhappy with his current condition.”

“That’s understandable. He relies on his hands to do his job and his job means everything to him.” Archer stepped up beside the bed and watched Trip sleeping. Right then there was no sign of the pain he was in or would continue to be in for the next few weeks. “Rest easy my friend. Your friends are here for you.” He placed a hand on Trip’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

“Captain, I’m going to give you something to help you sleep. Doctor’s order.” Phlox wanted the Captain well rested. He couldn’t perform his duties very well if he was falling asleep on the bridge.

“That’s fine. I’ve been trying all night to get to sleep.” Archer knew he needed to sleep and wouldn’t turn down the Doctor’s order.

“Sleep well, Captain.” Phlox watched Archer go and knew he was very worried about Tucker. He knew it wasn’t the physical wounds he was worried about, but more the emotional. The Commander was a very independent man that could take care of himself and now he would have to rely on others for everything. It was going to be an emotionally difficult few weeks for him and Phlox had no doubt that Tucker was going to become very frustrated over the situation.

When morning came, Trip was fully conscious and in a lot of pain. Phlox could only give him so much pain medication and he didn’t want Tucker sleeping too much. Currently his eyes were squeezed shut as he rode out the pain of Phlox changing his bandages. He didn’t want to see what his hands looked like right then, for fear it would sicken him. His head still hurt from the concussion and the cut on the back of his head stung a little. Although he was breathing easier, his lungs still felt scratchy. All in all he felt miserable.

Phlox had to be very careful when he applied fresh ointment and bandages. The skin on Tucker’s hands was very badly blistered and tore easily. An infection could set in if the skin was torn and that was not something he needed. He knew that Tucker was in a lot of pain and it was draining him. “I’m all finished Commander, get some rest.”

“Can’t I go to my quarters to rest?” Trip hated being in sickbay where everyone kept coming by to see how he was.

“Alright, but I’m going to check on you every couple of hours for the rest of the day.” Between the concussion and the pain his hands were causing him, Phlox was worried that it could cause him to lose consciousness.

“You got a deal.” Trip wanted nothing more than to go to his quarters and crawl into bed. If he had his way he’d sleep until his hands were healed, but that wasn’t possible.

Phlox showed him the list of people who had volunteered to help him. “If you need anything, contact any of these people and they will be there to assist.” Phlox planned to see him to his quarters and make sure he got settled in bed.

“Thanks, Doc.” He wasn’t going to call on anyone unless he absolutely had to.

“Now, lets get you to your quarters, shall we?” Phlox took his arm and helped him down from the bio-bed. It was obvious that he was a little groggy and he didn’t want the Commander to fall. He walked Tucker to his quarters and got him settled. Since he’d just been in his underwear and a robe, it was fairly easy to get him into bed. All he had to do was get the robe off and getting the sleeves passed his bandaged hands was the hardest part. Once Tucker was in bed, Phlox pulled the covers over him and turned the lights off. “Sleep well Commander.”

“Thanks.” Trip mumbled as he immediately drifted off to sleep. When Phlox came to check on him several hours later, Trip was in a great deal of pain and he had his hands held up so they weren’t touching anything. “My hands hurt.”

“I’m sorry Commander, but you’re going to have to get used to it.” Phlox hated seeing the Commander in so much pain, but he couldn’t give him a stronger dose than he was already getting. “Let me have a look at them. I should change the dressing anyway.”

Trip groaned, he didn’t want to go through the added pain of having the ointment put on and it really hurt when the cloth of the bandages were taken off and it pulled at his skin. “Can’t you give me something first?”

“Very well, but I can’t give you a strong dose because it hasn’t been that long since I gave you some.” Phlox was concerned about how much pain Tucker was in. He had to remember that human hands were far more sensitive than his peoples, but it still worried him. Removing the bandages, Phlox carefully redressed them and could see the painkiller was taking effect. “Do you need anything while I’m here?”

“No, but I’d like something to eat later.” Trip was dreading mealtime. He didn’t want to sit there helpless while someone fed him, even if it was a friend.

“I’ll send Hoshi or T’Pol by with a tray of food for you in a few hours.” He could tell Tucker was not looking forward to the experience, but he really had no choice.

“Thanks, Doc.” Closing his eyes, he tried to go to sleep despite the pain he felt in his hands. A headache was also developing and he knew sleep was the only escape from it.

Phlox pulled the covers over him and made sure he was comfortable. Leaving his quarters, Phlox went to the mess hall and asked Chef to prepare some of Tucker’s favorite foods. Chef expressed his concern and hoped the Commander would recover quickly. He’d make sure a tray of food was ready in a couple of hours. Phlox then contacted T’Pol and asked if she wanted to help Tucker eat something in a few hours. She was of course very willing as she had some things she needed to say to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T’Pol pressed the chime button for Commander Tucker’s quarters. In her other hand she held a tray of his favorite foods. She tried to remember that this was an emotionally difficult time for the Commander and she should use tact. “Commander?”

“Leave me alone.” Trip was in so much pain and he didn’t want anyone to see his weakness.

“I’ve brought you something to eat. You need to keep your strength up.” Using her command code, she entered his quarters to find it dark. She could see Tucker under the covers of his bed, but he wasn’t asleep. “Are you alright, Commander?”

“No, please just go.”

“Not until you have something to eat.” T’Pol moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. Setting the tray down next to her, she pulled the covers down and saw him trembling. “Should I get Doctor Phlox?”

“There’s nothing he can do.” Trip was in so much pain that his body trembled with it. His hands felt like they were on fire again and he wanted nothing more than to cut them off. Right then he didn’t want her there, but at the same time he was hungry.

“I am sorry, Commander.” T’Pol did feel a great deal of sympathy for him, after all he’d gotten that way saving her life. “You need not feel embarrassed, I am only trying to assist you.”

“I’m not embarrassed, Sub Commander. I’m just in a lot of pain.” He lied. He was very embarrassed and wished this whole thing had never happened. Finally he sat up in the bed so she could feed him and get it over with.

T’Pol began feeding Tucker. She’d joked about his eating habits in the past, but as she watched him eat, she realized he was a very well mannered eater. Wiping his mouth with the napkin, she fed him another bite and decided it was time to tell him what was on her mind. “Commander, I……I need to thank you for saving my life. No ones ever done that before and I'm grateful to you. It took me some time to deal with the feelings I had about all this, but I have them under control. I wish to help you through this any way I can.”

Trip was dumb struck by what she said and he could see in her eyes that it was genuine. At that moment he didn’t know what to say. Closing his eyes, he sighed and try to think of something to say. “I couldn’t let you get hurt or killed. I wouldn’t have been able to live with that.” Trip paused to think. The pain he was in made it difficult to think straight. “I’m sorry that you had such a difficult time with what I did, but I’d do it again.” Now he really felt embarrassed.

“There is no need to be sorry, Commander. I am thankful that you did what you did.” T’Pol fed him the last bite of food and could tell he was getting drowsy. She decided it would be best to leave him alone for a while to get some sleep. “Get some rest Commander. I will inform Doctor Phlox that you had something to eat.”

“Thanks, T’Pol.” Trip smiled, but it didn’t reach his glassy blue eyes. He would try to sleep, but with the pain he was in, it was difficult.

“You are welcome Commander. I hope you are feeling better soon.” Picking up the empty tray, she moved towards the door. She hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights because she thought Tucker would feel less embarrassed if it was dark. T’Pol dropped the tray off at the mess hall and headed straight to Captain Archer. She wanted him to know about her concern for Tucker’s mental state.

The door to the Captain’s ready room chimed. “Come.” He looked up to see T’Pol in the doorway and he didn’t like the look on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“I am concerned about Commander Tucker’s state of mind. He seems distant and depressed. His hands seem to be giving him a great deal of pain.” T’Pol couldn’t miss the look of concern on Archer’s face, but then it had been there since the whole thing happened.

“I’ll go and see him. I must admit that I’ve never seen him act that way, but then he’s never had an injury like this.” Archer knew Trip was strong in mind and body, but there were some things that even the strongest had trouble dealing with.

“Very well. I have things to attend to, so I will go now.”

“Thanks for letting me know about Trip.”

“You are welcome, sir.” Turning, T’Pol left the ready room and headed for her station on the bridge. She intended to do what she could to help Tucker, physically and emotionally. There was no doubt in her mind that Captain Archer could help Trip since they were best friends and Archer had known him for so long.

Archer ended the program he’d been running. Things hadn’t gotten any more interesting, but now he had a friend who needed him. Making his way to Trip’s quarters, Archer couldn’t help thinking about how he must be feeling. He tried to imagine himself without the use of his hands, but he really had no idea. Letting himself into Trip’s quarters, he wasn’t surprised to find it dark. “Trip?”

Trip moaned. He recognized Archer’s voice, but didn’t even want to talk to him. It was a struggle not to rip the bandages off his hands and dunk them in ice water. That was all he wanted as his hands continued to feel like they were on fire.

“Trip, come on, talk to me.” The concern in Archer grew and he was tempted to call Phlox and ask him to come to Trip’s quarters.

“Go away.” Despite saying that, he rolled over in bed to face his friend.

“I’m not going away Trip. Not until we have a little talk.” He knew Trip was in a lot of pain and that was part of the reason he was acting distant and depressed. Archer wasn’t about to allow him to continue feeling that way for fear he couldn’t bring himself out of it.

“I’m tired of talking. That’s all T’Pol wanted to do too.” Deep down he knew it was just because they cared about him, but the pain and embarrassment were overriding that.

“That’s because we are worried about you Trip. It’s not like you to hide away like this.” Looking at his bandaged hands made Archer feel sorry for Trip and that was the wrong thing to do. The last thing he needed was for others to feel sorry for him. “I know you’re in a lot of pain, but you can’t stay in here like this for the next few weeks. We need you Trip.”

Between the pain he was in and Archer’s words, Trip began to cry. He didn’t feel crying was a sign of weakness, but he hated it just the same. Why did this have to happen to him? That was all he wanted to know, why?

Archer’s heart broke seeing Trip cry. “Aww, Trip. Hang in there my friend, we are all here for you and we’ll help you get through this. Just don’t shut us out.” Archer sat on the edge of the bed and held Trip for a moment. He could feel his friend trembling and knew he was in a lot of pain. “I’m sending for Phlox. There’s got to be something he can do about your pain.”

“Sorry Captain.”

“For what?”

“Everything.”

“Trip, you have nothing to be sorry for. You saved T’Pol’s life without concern for your own safety. I’m putting you in for a commendation.” Archer knew Trip’s emotions were a result of his pain right now and he hoped Phlox could help. “Archer to sickbay.”

“Go ahead Captain.” Phlox had a feeling he knew what this was about.

“Can you come to Trip’s quarters? He’s in a lot of pain.” Archer sat with his arm around Trip’s shoulders. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d seen Trip in so much pain, but he’d never been burned like Trip’s hands were. There was no way he could understand the pain his friend was in.

“I’ll be right there Captain.” Grabbing a couple of hypo-sprays and fresh bandages, Phlox headed for Tucker’s quarters. “Phlox to Ensign Sato.”

“Go ahead Doctor.” Hoshi was currently in the mess hall getting some dinner for Trip.

“I’m on my way to the Commander’s quarters. The painkiller I’m going to give him will most likely put him out for the night. Do you have his dinner ready?” Phlox was moving quickly down the corridor. Archer’s tone of voice had him worried about Tucker.

“Yes, I’m on my way with it now.”

“Good, I want you to wait outside until I’ve taken care of him. There’s no point in a lot of people being around while you help him eat.” Phlox was trying to keep the Commander’s embarrassment down to a minimum.

“Understood.” Hoshi wouldn’t do anything to embarrass the Commander and if that meant waiting outside, then she would.

Hoshi waited patiently outside while Phlox took care of Trip’s hands. She hadn’t seen him since the accident and wasn’t sure what to expect when she went in. Using her imagination, she tried to prepare herself for what it might be like, but it was difficult since she had no experience with severe burns, just the minor ones she’d suffered when Enterprise struck the mine. It was obvious from the Doctor’s tone of voice that Trip was in a lot of pain and she hoped she could handle that. At least he would have received pain medicine by the time she went in and it would be easier.

A moment later Archer and Phlox came out of Trip’s quarters. Archer nodded as Phlox turned and headed towards sickbay. Turning to Hoshi, he spoke. “Be patient with him, Hoshi. He’s in a lot of pain and feeling pretty miserable.”

Hoshi had seen that look on Archer’s face before, but only when he thought Trip had possibly died. That meant Trip must be in pretty bad shape. “I understand, sir. I’ll do my best.”

“Thanks, Hoshi. Let me know how it goes.” Archer had gotten a look at Trip’s hands when Phlox changed the bandages and they hadn’t looked anything like Trip’s hands. They’d been blistered and raw. They were also swollen and a little bloody.

“Is it really bad sir? I haven’t seen him since it happened.”

“Yeah, but he’s going to be okay. It’s just going to take a little time.” At least Archer hoped so. Seeing Trip in such a fragile emotional state stunned him. The man was usually as tough as nails, but he was not that way right now. “I’ll see you later Hoshi. Better get that food in to him before it gets cold or he falls asleep.”

“Yes, sir.” Hoshi entered Trip’s quarters and slowly moved forward. The room was dark, but she could make out his shape on the bed. He was sitting up and she could see him turn to look at her as she came closer. “Hi, Commander. I brought you some dinner.”

“Thanks, Hoshi.” Trip didn’t really want her there, but he was too tired to argue about it. The pain medicine Phlox gave him was kicking in and he was becoming drowsy. Some of the pain in his hands had gone away and he was feeling hungry.

“I brought prime rib, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. Also a piece of pecan pie for dessert.” Hoshi sat down on the edge of the bed and set the tray down on Trip’s lap. “Chef was kind enough to have the meat already cut.”

“Please thank him for me.” Trip tried to smile, but failed miserably.

Hoshi began to feed Trip and could see he was enjoying the taste of his favorite foods. It broke her heart to see him so weak and unhappy though. “You really don’t need to be embarrassed, sir. We are all just trying to help you out until you can use your hands again. We care about you and it’s no trouble to any of us to give you a hand.”

Trip looked away as his eyes welled up with tears. Damn, he hated feeling so weak and emotional. “I know Hoshi and I appreciate it. I’ve just never had to rely on others for everything before.”

“It’s okay sir, we don’t mind at all and none of us think of you as any less than you were.” Once she finished with the main course, she began feeding him the pecan pie. It was obvious that he was especially enjoying it and Hoshi thought perhaps he was forgetting about all of it as he savored the sweet dessert. “Is there anything else I can do for you before I go?”

“Just help me get settled in bed.” He slid down so that he was lying in bed and closed his eyes as Hoshi pulled the covers up to his chin. For the first time since he’d been injured he felt halfway decent and the pain was at a minimum.

“Good night, sir.”

“Night, Hoshi. Thank Chef for the dinner.” Trip looked up at her and could see the concern on her face. As much as he hated seeing the pity on people’s faces, he appreciated her concern.

“I will thank him, but it was my suggestions for what to serve.” Hoshi smiled at the stunned look on his face. She knew he hadn’t expected her to be the one to suggest all his favorites, except pan fried catfish, which Chef wouldn’t make because he didn’t think he could do it justice.

“That was very sweet of you Hoshi, thanks.” She’d brought him the only pleasure he’d had since it all happened. Just by making sure he got his favorite foods, especially the pecan pie.

“You’re welcome, sir. I just wanted to make you feel better.” Picking up the tray, she moved to the door and turned back to look at him. He was already drifting off to sleep and it made her feel good to know she’d given him some relief from his pain.

Trip jerked awake and cried out in pain. He’d rolled over on his hands as he slept and now they screamed at him in pain. Sitting up he tried to catch his breath as the pain became unbearable. Getting out of bed, he used his elbow to turn the light on and saw blood on the bandages of his left hand. “Son of a bitch.” Bending over and hold his hands to his chest, he rode out another wave of pain. Using his elbow again, he activated the comm. “Tucker to sickbay.”

“What’s wrong Commander?” Phlox could hear the pain in his voice.

“I rolled over on my hands and now the left is bleeding.” Trip took a deep breath and tried again to deal with the pain as his body shook.

“Can you make it to sickbay?”

“I’ll try.” Right then he didn’t care that he was only in his underwear. All he wanted was to get to sickbay and get help for the pain.

“I’ll be waiting Commander.” This was not good. Tucker had caused the skin on his hands to be torn and that was causing the bleeding. He didn’t even need to see his hands to know that.

Trip was trying to get to sickbay as quickly as he could. He held his hands out in front of him and there was sweat on his face as he fought through the pain. Travis came up to him when he saw the condition he was in and Trip didn’t reject his help. Travis put his arm around Trip’s waist and helped him quickly get to sickbay.

“Help him get on the bio-bed.” Phlox instructed Mayweather to get Tucker onto the bio-bed where he would sedate him.

“What happened?” Travis asked.

“He rolled onto his hands in his sleep and tore the skin.” Phlox quickly pressed the hypo against Tucker’s neck and watched as he quickly lost consciousness. As gently as he could, he removed the bandages on Tucker’s hands and cringed. The right hand wasn’t too bad, but the left had been torn pretty bad. Retrieving the osmotic eel, Phlox placed it on the torn area so it could cauterize the wound.

“Ensign, would you please contact Captain Archer and ask him to come to sickbay.” Phlox worked to treat Tucker’s hands and decided that he was going to make him sleep in sickbay so it didn’t happen again. In sickbay he could monitor Tucker and sedate him if need be.

“Sure, Doc. Is he going to be okay?” Travis had been very worried when he ran across Trip in the corridor. Seeing the bloody bandage had only increased his fears.

“With time, Ensign.” Phlox sighed and began to put fresh bandages on Tucker’s hands. They still looked nasty, but it had only been a day and this latest incident hadn’t helped. At least Tucker would remain unconscious for the rest of the night. Looking up as Archer moved quickly into sickbay, Phlox put the last of the supplies away. “Captain.”

“What happened?” Archer was still in his pajamas and a robe. He hadn’t bothered to change when Travis called him to sickbay.

“The Commander rolled onto his hands in his sleep and tore the skin on his left hand rather seriously. I’ve applied the osmotic eel and put fresh bandages on. The hypo I gave him should keep him out for the rest of the night.” Phlox washed his hands as he spoke to Archer.

“Is he going to be okay?” Archer looked at Trip sleeping on the bed and frowned. It seemed like Trip couldn’t catch a break lately.

“Certainly, but I want him in sickbay to sleep so I can monitor him.”

“I’ll make sure he does. Let me know if anything changes.” Archer headed for the door and hoped he could get back to sleep. His concern for Trip wasn’t going to make that easy.

“I will, Captain.” Phlox placed a blanket over Tucker and dimmed the lights. Hopefully the eel would help his hand and it would look better in the morning. “Sleep well, Commander.”

T’Pol entered sickbay and looked around for Commander Tucker. She’d heard what happened to him during the night and wanted, no needed to see if he was okay. Her meditation that night had focused again on her feelings of gratitude toward Tucker, but the need to help him was still there. “Doctor, I came to check on Commander Tucker.”

“He’s over there. I’ve got him sedated because he’s in too much pain.” Phlox walked with T’Pol over to where Tucker lay unconscious.

“Did he do a lot of damage?”

“He did some damage to his left hand, but the osmotic eel seems to have helped some.” Phlox checked Tucker’s readings as the stood next to him. “Perhaps you’d like to give him a sponge bath. If it’s done while he’s unconscious it will prevent embarrassment to him.”

“I would be pleased to.” T’Pol watched Tucker sleeping while Phlox got a basin of warm, soapy water and a sponge. As she watched him her emotions began to stir again and she still couldn’t quite believe that he’d saved her life.

“Here you go, Sub Commander.” Phlox set the basin down and removed the blanket covering Tucker. He was going to give him a sponge bath himself, but some things had come up and he hadn’t gotten to it. Now he could help both T’Pol and Tucker by letting her do it while he was out.

“Thank you, Doctor.” Taking the sponge from the basin, she rung it out and moved down to his legs. Gently she ran the sponge over his right leg and down to his foot. Raising his leg up slightly, she ran the sponge along the back of his leg. Moving back to the basin she dunked the sponge into the water and rung it out again. She repeated the process on his left leg before moving up to his upper body.

Phlox glanced over at T’Pol and smiled. She was working on Tucker very gently and he could tell it was helping her to let her bathe him. Now all he had to do was get Tucker through the next couple of weeks and everything would be back to normal. At least as normal as it got on Enterprise.

T’Pol slowly ran the sponge over Tucker’s chest and abdomen. Even though she had no feelings for him, she couldn’t help noticing his well-muscled body. He was one of the best human specimens she’d ever seen and hoped that his hands would not be scarred. As she worked, she couldn’t help noticing areas that had suffered minor burns in the explosion. His neck and face looked a little red and she hadn’t noticed before because he’d been in the dark in his quarters. She washed those areas with more care to be sure she didn’t hurt him.

Although he was unconscious, he could feel the sponge on his body and it felt good. His assumption was that Phlox was giving him the bath. He had no idea it was T’Pol, but if he did, he’d be surprised at her gentleness. Sighing at the soothing feel, Trip drifted deeper into sleep and the pain in his hands floated away.

As carefully as she could, T’Pol turned Tucker partly on his side and ran the sponge over his back and shoulders. Not for the first time, she was amazed at how broad his shoulders were. It also surprised her at how soft his skin was for a man, but she was finding a lot of things about him that surprised her. She’d always given him a hard time and he seemed to get on her nerves a lot, but since this all happened she was seeing another side of the Commander. It was a side she liked and hoped to see more often. She finished by washing his hair and drying it with a towel, before covering him back up with the blanket. . “I’m finished, Doctor. I must go on duty now, but I will check back later.”

“Thanks for your help, Sub Commander.” Phlox smiled as she left and could tell she was feeling much better. He emptied the basin and put it away, before moving back to Tucker and checking his vitals. His sleep was deeper now and Phlox knew it was because the bath had made him feel better. Shortly Phlox would need to change his bandages and then he would be in great pain again, but at least for now he was probably the most at ease that he had been since being injured.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Malcolm came by sickbay later that morning to see how his friend was doing. Trip was awake and sitting up, but still didn’t look good. His hands were out to the side so they weren’t touching anything. “Hey Trip, how are you feeling?”

“Just great.” Trip said sarcastically. He felt miserable and wished he could go back to when he was being given the sponge bath. That was the most comfortable and pain free he’d been since this happened.

Malcolm nodded. “I understand. I know how it felt when I had that thing spear my leg.” He glanced over as Phlox came up beside him.

“How is everything, Lieutenant?”

“Just fine, thank you.” Malcolm looked back at Trip and knew everything wasn’t fine with him and it worried him.

“Would you help the Commander get dressed and take him to breakfast?” Phlox hoped that getting Tucker dressed and out of sickbay for a while might make him feel better.

“Certainly.”

“I don’t want to go.” The last thing Trip wanted was for the crew to see him being fed by Malcolm, or anyone else for that matter. “You can eat in the Captain’s dining room.” It wasn’t hard for Phlox to figure out why he didn’t want to go. “Doctor’s orders.”

“Fine.” Trip sat on the bed and waited for Malcolm to get his slacks. Since he was off duty he was only wearing sivvies. Once Malcolm had his pants on him up to his knees, he stood and let Malcolm pull them the rest of the way up and fasten them. His face was red with embarrassment, but there was nothing he could do.

“It’s okay Trip. You don’t need to be embarrassed.” Malcolm did his best to keep him from feeling embarrassed, but he understood why it didn’t really work. He’d feel the same way if he were in Trip’s position.

“Easy for you to say Malcolm.” Trip sighed; he wanted the next couple of weeks to be over with so he could do things himself.

“Sorry, but you can’t stay here like this for the next few weeks.” Malcolm carefully got the sleeves of his shirt over his hands and up his arms. As quickly as he could he buttoned the shirt and combed Trip’s hair.

“Why not?” Trip said. The frown on his face was deep and he didn’t think he could deal with it for two or three more weeks.

Malcolm’s brow furrowed with worry. He’d never seen Trip so unhappy and negative. He hoped a good breakfast in the privacy of the Captain’s ready room would help. “Come on, Trip. Lets go.” Malcolm thought it best not try and help Trip walk, but instead just walked beside him.

As they walked to the mess hall Trip avoided looking at the crewmembers they passed. In his eyes they were all staring at him and looking at him with pity. Of course that wasn’t the truth. The crew looked at him and nodded, looks of concern of their faces, but not pity. Walking through the mess hall to the Captain’s dining room, Trip kept his head down and stared at the floor.

Reed fed Trip a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, and orange juice. He was able to drink the orange juice on his own with a straw, but it was obviously uncomfortable for him to sit there and be fed. At least he looked like he was feeling a little better and Malcolm was glad for that. Unfortunately he still seemed to be in a lot of pain and Malcolm decided to get him back to sickbay for some pain medication. “You ready to go back to sickbay?”

“Yes, but I want to go to my quarters after that. I need something to do and I have the latest Engineering logs there.” He was in desperate need of a distraction.

“Sure, I don’t think Phlox would have a problem with that. Just remember if you decide to take a nap, you have to return to sickbay.” Malcolm helped Trip out of his chair and they walked back to sickbay. Once he retrieved the pain medication, he escorted Trip to his quarters. Leaving him there to look over the logs, Malcolm went on duty and let Archer know that Trip had eaten and was in his quarters going over the Engineering logs.

Over the next few days Trip’s depression grew deeper and nothing anyone did seemed to help. He spent all of his time in either sickbay or his quarters. It had even become more difficult to get him to eat. The pain he suffered was great when Phlox had to cut away the dead skin on his hands. It became hard and rough and needed to be removed so new skin could grow in it’s place.

After a few more days passed, Trip seemed to rebound a bit and wasn’t quite as depressed as he had been. Phlox told him his hands were healing nicely and thought the scarring would be at a minimum if he continued to take care with them. Trip had been keeping up on events in engineering and other parts of the ship by going over the daily logs, but he wanted to get back to doing the work himself. Currently he was in his quarters going over the logs, but it was getting late and he was considering going to bed. Phlox had finally given him the okay to sleep in his own quarters.

Hoshi entered Trip’s quarters to find him sitting in his chair gazing out at the stars as they passed by the window. His computer was on and the engineering logs were displayed. He’d obviously been trying to catch up on what was going on, but something pulled him away. “Sir?”

Trip turned his head at the sound of her voice. “What is it, Hoshi?”

“I was going off duty and thought I’d see if there was anything you needed.” Seeing him sitting there like that made her feel very sad. She wished he wouldn’t spend all of his time alone in his quarters.

“No, thanks Hoshi.”

“Sir, you shouldn’t be spending all your time alone in here.” Slowly she stepped closer and stood beside him.

“I can’t go out there Hoshi. I can’t take the way they all look at me with pity.” Every time he’d gone out of his quarters, he’d seen the way the crewmembers looked at him, at his hands.

“It’s only because they care. Come to the movie with me. It’ll be dark in there and you can use the distraction.” She prayed he’d say yes. It had been almost a week since the accident and he hadn’t been out of his quarters except to go to sickbay and the Captain’s dining room.

“Okay, but I’m leaving if I don’t feel comfortable.” Since it would be dark, he figured it would be okay and he did need the distraction. Trip felt grateful to Hoshi for trying to make him feel better and not feeling sorry for him. She truly was a good friend. “Thanks, Hoshi.” He smiled up at her and let her help him from the chair.

“I need to go change out of my uniform. Do you need help getting dressed?” Although it could become awkward, she would help him with that. Currently he was in his robe.

For some reason her offer did not make him feel embarrassed and he nodded. “There’s some slacks and a shirt over there in the closet.” He watched her as she got a pair of pants and a shirt from the closet and set them on the bed. She then moved to him and untied his robe.

“I’ll be as careful as I can.” Hoshi gently slid the sleeves of his robe down his arms and off his bandaged hands. Tossing it on the bed, she picked up the shirt and carefully pulled the sleeves over his hands. Once she had the shirt on him, she buttoned it and moved on to the slacks.

Trip slipped his right leg into the slacks, followed by the left. He felt her pull them up over his hips and butt, before fastening them. It really amazed him that he didn’t feel awkward, but she just had a way of making him feel comfortable around her. “Thanks, Hoshi.”

“You’re welcome. I need to go change, but I’ll be back in ten minutes to take you to the movie.” She smiled at him and placed her hand to his cheek. “You won’t be sorry, sir.” Hoshi felt the physical contact was appropriate since he couldn’t touch anything.

“I’m sure I won’t.” Trip smiled and for the first time since his hands were burned, it was a genuine smile. Once he was better, he’d have to find a way to show Hoshi his appreciation. Hoshi returned ten minutes later wearing a dress and smiling. They went to the movie together and Trip had a great time. None of the crew stared at him and they all asked how he was doing without showing any pity.

Another week passed and with the help of his friends, Trip was doing better. Soon Phlox would be taking the bandages off for good, but until then he was trying to deal with the itching that came along with the healing. Despite his best efforts, he caught himself trying to scratch and Phlox was getting worried that he’d do damage.

T’Pol had witnessed Tucker’s intense discomfort at the itching and decided to do something for him. Even though she’d finally dealt with the feelings of gratitude she’d had towards him, she still wanted to help him any way she could. “Commander, would you please come have a seat?” They were in the mess hall and T’Pol figured it was as good a place as any to do what she needed to do.

“Hey, T’Pol.” Trip sat down opposite her and hoped she didn’t intend to feed him there in front of everyone. He realized that none of them were really looking at him with pity, but he still didn’t like to be fed in public. “What can I do for ya?”

“It is more what I can do for you Commander.” T’Pol was going to try a Vulcan technique to try and ease the Commander’s itching. It had worked on Ensign Sato when they were aboard the Klingon ship, so it should work for Tucker. “Place your hands on the table palms up.”

Trip wasn’t sure what to make of her request, but he did as she asked and placed his hands on the table palms up. “What are ya going to do?”

“Just trust me Commander. I am not going to harm you.”

“I know you’d never hurt me, not on purpose anyway.” Trip gave her a reluctant smile and knew she wouldn’t harm him, but he was still curious as to what she was going to do.

“Just relax Commander, this is going to help you.” T’Pol reached out and gently began to rub each of his wrists with her fingers. “Close your eyes and take deep breaths. Relax and clear your mind.”

Trip sighed and relaxed. What she was doing felt good and he had a vague sensation of her mind touching his. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was unsettling. Her actions seemed to make the itch in his hands vanish and for that he was grateful. “That feels nice.”

“Please, Commander. Do not distract me.” T’Pol’s eyes were closed and she was concentrating hard on the procedure. She had to make him believe deep down that his hands no longer itched. While she continued to rub his wrists she could read some of his thoughts and feelings. Feeling his gratitude towards her for easing his discomfort made her see that it had indeed been gratitude that she’d felt towards him.

When T’Pol finally removed her hands from his wrists, he opened his eyes and smiled. “Thanks T’Pol, that’s amazing.” He hadn’t thought such a simple thing like touch could actually take his itch away, but T’Pol had done it. “ I really do want to thank ya for helping me these last few weeks. It is appreciated.”

“There is no need to thank me Commander, I was glad to do it and I did owe you for saving my life.” T’Pol glanced around the mess hall and found it almost empty. She hadn’t realized she’d spent so much time with Tucker, but she was glad she helped him again.

“T’Pol, I know as a Vulcan you don’t understand a lot of human emotions, but you don’t owe me anything. I would have done it for anyone. Especially those I care about.” Trip sighed. He’d said it; he’d told her that he does care about her.

“I don’t know what to say Commander. We’ve never had the best of relationships, but I do care about you as well.” There was nothing romantic in her feelings for Tucker, more just that of a friend.

“Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing romantic in my feelings. It’s like you’re my sister or something.” Trip smiled as he watched T’Pol’s face. He knew she had no feelings like that for him either and if he were to admit to those kinds of feelings for anyone, it would be Hoshi.

“I am glad I could help you Commander, but if you will excuse me, I am going to turn in for the night.” T’Pol rose and grabbed the data PADD she’d been looking at before Tucker came along.

“Night, T’Pol.” He really wished she would call him Trip, but he could wait if that was what it took for her to get comfortable with calling him that. If she never got comfortable with it than that was fine too.

As Trip made his way to sickbay to have his bandages changed, he started thinking about his feelings. What he told T’Pol was the truth; he only cared about her as a friend. However, over the last month or so he’d found his feelings for Hoshi changing and he found himself caring for her as more than a crewmember or friend. So far he’d been able to hide those feelings because she was a subordinate and a relationship between them was against regulations. During the last few weeks he’d noticed something in her eyes when he looked into them and he began to think maybe she had similar feelings for him.

As Commander Tucker walked into sickbay, Phlox could tell that he had something on his mind. “Commander, I have some good news for you. Please have a seat.”

“What is it, Doc?” Trip sat down and anxiously awaited Phlox’s news.

“You will no longer need to wear bandages Commander, but I do want you to wear these gloves when you work, at least for another week. They will protect the skin and continue to help the healing process.” Phlox carefully removed Tucker’s bandages and smiled. His hands were almost completely healed and there was very little scarring.

“That’s great.” Trip smiled and looked at his hands. Aside from a few areas that were still raw and tender looking, his hands looked almost normal. Thanks to T’Pol there was no more itching either.

“How do they feel? Still itching?” Phlox could tell he hadn’t been scratching them because they weren’t red, but he wasn’t sure if it was because the itching had stopped, or if he was showing great restraint.

“They feel okay. Thanks to T’Pol they don’t itch any more.”

“Excuse me?” Now Phlox was really confused.

“Yeah, she used some mind technique to make the itch stop. She rubbed my wrists with her fingers and made me relax and clear my mind. The itch just disappeared.” Trip smiled. It had definitely been a different experience, but not really one he wanted to go through again as it had been too disconcerting.

“I’m glad she was able to help you. I want you to come by once a day for me to check on your progress, Commander. Another week and you should be completely healed.” Phlox put the gloves on Tucker and smiled.

“So I can start using them again?” He never thought that day would come and couldn’t wait to do something, anything for himself. What he wanted most was to touch Hoshi and tell her how grateful he was for her help. Maybe if he got brave, he’d even tell her how he felt about her.

“Yes Commander, but be careful. There may still be some pain when you bend your fingers.” It made Phlox happy to see Tucker’s reaction. He was smiling and looked relieved that the worst was over. “Now get out of here Commander.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Trip smiled as he pressed the door button with his finger. He never thought that such a simple thing could make him so happy.

Hoshi had been going by Trip’s quarters every night after she went off duty to see if he needed anything and to try and cheer him up. Tonight was no different, but she didn’t know he no longer needed her help. In fact, what was about to happen would be a complete, but not unpleasant, surprise.

Trip smiled as the door chimed. He knew it was Hoshi and he couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he showed her his hands. “Come.”

“Good evening, sir.” Hoshi moved into his quarters and found him standing by the window looking out. Her brow furrowed with worry, as she feared he was getting depressed again.

Trip stood with his hands in front of him so Hoshi couldn’t see them. He wanted to surprise her by taking her hand when she stepped closer to him. Sensing her step up next to him, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Reaching over he took her hand and held it before looking over at her.

“Sir?” Hoshi brought their hands up and looked at them. He had no bandages on his hand, but was wearing a glove. “Oh sir, this is wonderful.”

“Hoshi, would you please call me Trip.” He smiled down at her and gazed into her eyes. What he saw there made his decision for him and decided to tell her how he felt about her.

As Hoshi gazed into his eyes she became lost. She whispered to him, “If that is what you want.” Confusion filled her and she was unsure of what she was seeing in Trip’s eyes. Was it love? Or was he just happy to have his hands back?

“Hoshi, I wanted to tell you how grateful I am for all of your help over the last few weeks. I don’t think I’d have made it through without you.” Taking the glove off his hand, he reached up and caressed her cheek. “You mean a great deal to me.”

“I was happy to do it. You mean a great deal to me too.” She placed her hand over his as he caressed her cheek. It was so nice to feel his soft touch on her face. As much as she hoped it was love in Trip’s eyes, she was still unsure and wanted to take it slowly to be sure. “I have to go, but I’ll see you later.”

Trip took her hand before leaning down and kissing her on the cheek. “Night, sweet dreams.” Smiling as he watched her leave, he knew they’d gotten a start towards really letting each other know how they felt.

THE END