Sub/Domme
Still - I was born to have adventure so here goes......
A while back talking to girls on my old Yahoo Group I started to describe girls who prefer the more 'active' role in lovemaking as 'Dommes'. I got shut down on that pretty quickly by a good friend (who has , should we say, rather 'exotic' tastes!) who reckoned that the word 'Dom' and its opposite 'Sub' had particular implications in a bondage or S&M situation. Quite a lot of TVs are into that scene and therefore I'll assume that they know what they're talking about. On the other hand, quite a lot of us arent, including yours truly. But like a lot of TVs, I'm principally passive in a female role and I like to have my lover take the lead when we're having sex. I think you know what I mean without me spelling it out any further? So..... what does a girl like me describe herself as? Well, stealing a phrase from the mainstream Gay community, I guess I'm a 'Bottom' mostly and when I'm looking for a lover I'm generally looking for a 'Top'. Not many of us use those words unfortunately and do tend to stick to the 'Sub/Domme' description. I guess thats ok, if you dont mind running the risk of getting thrashed within an inch of your life when you meet up with someone for the first time! All the more reason to talk with your potential lover before you meet isnt it?
Now just to really complicate things, quite a lot of us dont mind going 'Top' sometimes. It does seem that more of us passive types are flexible whereas the more active girls ('Tops') tend not to be. Just as well really I guess cos Tops are a lot less common anyway. For the record though, I'm pretty much 'Bottom' all the way....
Anyway, Trisha's advice for what its worth is to make sure you know what you're prepared to do and try and pick a lover to compliment that. And even if both of you ARE strictly Bottom, you can still have a nice lezzy time with the help of a few toys....