'Not again,' Trisha murmered in disgust as she conceded that she'd need to rummage through the floor of her closet to find the other elusive red mule. They were cute mules, one of her newest pairs - she had bought them from Bruce, the shoe salesman at Parisian, during her last visit to visit her parents in Marietta over Easter. Trisha knelt and began tossing shoes behind her as she penetrated further into her closet. On a few occasions, she paused to think about a time where she wore that particular shoe as she unceremoniouly tossed it aside. Soon every shoe that was once on the floor of the closet was strewn about her bedroom.
'Where is that darn shoe!' she exclaimed to herself as she paused to think where it could have possibly gone. She crawled on her knees over to her bed and brushed her freshly dried brown hair out of her eyes to look underneath. Then suddenly she remembered. It was three weeks ago and she was getting ready to leave work for the day...
(flashback)-------------------
"Hey Trisha, today's Mike's birthday and we got an extra ticket to the Comedy House tonight. You wanna come?" Joanna asked while she and Trisha walked toward the elevator.
After bringing her red slapping mules to a quick halt, Trisha thought for a moment, remembering the fun she had when a similar group took her out to eat for her birthday back in March, and replied, "Well, maybe. Who's playing?"
Joanna slipped out of one of her classic pumps briefly to scratch an itch ,that had developed on her left shin, with her great toenail - taking care not to tear her sheer nylons.
"Actually, he's a comic magician, 'The Magnificent Funnybone.' He blends comedy with magic and uses a lot of audience participation. It's going to be a lot of fun." Joanna stated while wiggling her toes while thrusting her foot back into the tight pump.
"Maybe I will, who else is going?" Trisha asked while beginning to dip in and out of her mules. "Well, Katie's coming and maybe Elliott - he's going to call his wife and see if she wants to come. I couldn't talk Mr. Allen into coming, though," Joanna replied while lifting her heel behind her so that she could reach down and straighten her nylon that had become askew shen she placed her foot back inside her tight shoe. She noticed Mr. Allen walk up behind Trisha. "I'd be surprised if he did, he doesn't strike me as the magician type."
Joanna darted her eyes at Trisha, trying to issue a danger signal, but Trisha did not notice it before hearing, "Ummmmmh," the sound of Mr. Allen clearing his throat.
Trisha, red from embarassment, stuffed her foot back in her dipped mule then turned quickly, "Sorry about that, what I meant was.."
Mr. Allen stopped her, "That's okay, you're right actually. I'm not that much into magic shows. Saw David Copperfield once and I was too busy trying to figure out the illusions to enjoy the show. I still don't know how he made the Statute of Liberty disappear."
Before everyone left, Elliott heard back from his wife and she decided they could not make it, leaving Mike in the enviable position of having three attractive young ladies accompany him to the show.
Over at the Comedy House, the venue staff was meeting with the headliner to discuss some logistics.
"Okay, so I understand you need audience volunteers. What do you want me to look for?"
I'd like to have at least one person in a military uniform if possible - it makes the show look more patriotic. Then maybe an elderly woman - they look very trustworthy. Oh, for that 'Money Swap' routine, maybe a guy and girl who are together - to speed things up, pick a girl who's wearing shoes that can come off quickly - no lace-up sneakers or boots."
After making a few more requests, the Comedy House staffer made plans to fulfill all his requests, regardless of how strange some of them sounded.
Back in downtown Columbia, Joanna offered to drive. Mike joined Joanna in the front seat and Trisha and Katie took the back. The conversation was light-hearted. "So Mike how old does this make you?" Katie asked. "I'm 25." Mike then asked, "So tell me about this 'Magnificent Funnybone'. Has anyone seen him perform before?"
Joanna quickly replied, "Yeah, he comes here every couple of years. He's a lot of fun."
The ride became somewhat quiet and Katie crossed her left leg toward Trisha who commented, "Oh I did not notice before, those are a nice pair of strappy pumps. Where did you get them?"
"They were on sale at Dillard's. We ought to go shopping there sometime."
"You're on!" Trisha enthusiastically replied - she was always a sucker for a well-stocked shoe department.
The foursome first enjoyed a nice meal at California Dreaming, which had quickly become one of Trisha's favorites, before heading over to the Comedy House. Once inside, Katie led the way down the middle aisle and walked right down a row about 8 up from the front and took her seat with Joanna, Mike and Trisha, who had the aisle seat, following.
Trisha crossed her right leg over her knee so that her red mule dangled off her toes. Had it fallen, it would have landed on the carpeted aisle. The staff assistant in charge of getting audience volunteers took notice, walked down the aisle and tapped Trisha on the shoulder.
"I'm sorry is this Row J Seat 1?"
"You're fine, actually I wanted to see if you and your friend (pointing to Mike) would mind helping us out with one of our acts"
Trisha was uncertain so she turned to Mike for approval.
Mike replied, "Sure, sounds fine to me. What do we need to do?"
About 20 minutes into the show, the announcer will ask for the volunteers to assist in the 'Money Swap' act.
Trisha asked, "Is that all we need to do?"
"That's right, you go down front and follow his instructions. You'll be fine." The details were sketchy, but Trisha and Mike were up to the challenge.
(real time) ----------------------
Trisha was ready to leave for work and she saw that she had just enough time to pick up her other shoe at the Gerald's Shoe Repair shop on the way into work. It's convenient downtown location made it handy to use. She paused to get another pair of shoes to wear to the shop, but then decided just to go ahead and go there in one shoe, pick it up and hurry into work. This made sense because she often removed her right shoe when driving anyway. She called the shop first and made sure the shoe was ready to pick up before she left.
(back to flashback) ----------------------
The show started and it was very good. The Magnificent Funnybone was good at the craft of magic - having already sawed an old lady in half. But he was also funny, initiating an impromptu game of Simon Sez with an Army Lieutenant before making his hat disappear and reappear on the head of a pretty girl in the balcony who got to kiss him. The announcer then said, "Now I'd like to ask Trisha and Mike to come down on stage for the 'Money Swap.'"
Trisha uncrossed her right leg and pushed her toes the rest of the way into her mule (rarely was Trisha seated with both feet completely inside her shoes) and began to walk down to the stage with Mike following close behind. The Magnificent Funnybone interviewed them briefly and the two of them explained that they were co-workers and friends.
"Okay, here's how this is going to work. Each of you is going to put something into this box and when I wave my magic wand over it, then reopen the box money will appear. You can either take the money and leave your objects behind or you can risk that the box will offer you more money."
Mike clarified, "So no matter what if we refuse all of the money we get our item back."
"That's correct."
Trisha figured that the game itself was probably less important than keeping the audience wondering how the object and money were going to swap back and forth.
Funnybone scanned Mike and suggested, "That's a nice watch, how about using that?"
"Okay, sure." Mike stretched the elastic band and slipped off his watch and dropped it into the box.
Funnybone then turned to Trisha and scanned her from head to toe - literally. "Trisha the best thing of yours we could use is one of your shoes."
Trisha hesitated, "As you sure there's nothing else?" She unexpectedly replied while coming to the conclusion that she really had nothing else worthy to offer.
"No not really, now if you don't want to play along..How about some audience encouragement?"
The audience roared in approval and Trisha relented. She reached down and slipped off her right shoe and dropped it into the box. The big projection screen on the wall behind them did a close up of her foot while doing so.
Trisha stood with her toes flexed to keep her balance - this was not a predicament she was unfamiliar with. Funnybone waved his wand, said a few magic words and when he opened the box, all that was inside were a pair of $20 bills.
"Okay now, would either of you be willing to trade your item for $20?"
Mike and Trisha gave them their quick "NO!" then Funnybone waned his wand again and Trisha's shoe appeared with Mikes watch wrapped around the heel to the audience's astonishment. "Let's try again." Funnybone repeated the routine and this time a pair of $50 bills appeared. Trisha immediately demonstrated her unwillingness to swap but Mike paused a few moments before also saying "NO."
Again the shoe and watch were brought up and this time, the watch was all the way around the sole of the shoe. Another wave of the wand and a pair of $100 bills appeared.
Mike quickly said "YES1" knowing his watch was only worth $35. Trisha nodded her head, no then having grew tired of trying to stand level, she allowed her bare foot to rest flat on the stage.
"Are you sure you are not willing to swap for $100? That's as high as we can go."
"No thanks."
"Okay then," Funnybone waved his wand and the box was empty. He tried to dismiss the problem, "The watch is gone, you see." He waved the wand again expecting the shoe to reappear but instead, the $100 Bill reappeared. "Are you sure, Trisha that you won't take $100 for your shoe?" Funnybone tried to cover for the supposed magical error.
Trisha was getting a little agitated, "No, I just want my shoe back."
Funnybone waved his wand one last time and again nothing came back. Thinking quick on his feet, Funnybone improvised.
"Okay Trisha, I'll go ahead and let you keep the $100. Your shoe is going to have a special reappearance later. (He actually had no idea of how he was going to do that.) You can go ahead back to your seat."
A confused Trisha returned to her seat next to Mike and could only wonder if or when she'd get her other shoe back, but he was intrigued with the sight of Trisha in one shoe - the way she used the bare foot to 'help' play with the other shoe.) The show continued and Trisha found herself crossing her feet at the ankle and sometimes fitting her bare toes in between the sole of her other foot and the sole of her single mule. Discreetly, a show staffer came over to Trisha and whisper in her ear.
"Your shoe fell off the track inside the trap door and the heel was damaged. We're going to allow your shoe to reappear toward the end, and when Funnybone asks you to, come down and he'll hand you your shoe back. Don't put it on - I would not want the audience to see if your heel were to break. Here's another $100 for your trouble."
Trisha turned her head to reply, "Thanks for letting me know. I'll go along with the plan." She then turned to Mike and told him what was happening. He in turn told Joanna who then told Katie.
(real time) ----------------------
Trisha arrived downtown and parallel-parked on the street. There was not a parking space available immediately in front of the store, so she had a short distance to walk to the shoe repair shop. Trisha got out of the car and walked on her toes of her bare foot to keep it from getting too dirty on the sidewalk. Once inside, she noticed that there was another customer in line so she got in line behind the man and waited. Trisha took this opportunity to wipe her toes on the carpet to get them somewhat clean in anticipation of getting her shoe back. Meanwhile someone else entered the shop and got in line behind Trisha and noticed her one shod state. He rightly assumed that she was picking up the mate. A couple of minutes later, Trisha paid for her shoe repair and was handed a heavy paper bag with the end tied. She walked away from the counter toward the front door and stopped to get her keys out of her purse. She held the bag from the top and used her car key to tear a hole in the bag. Her red mule came popping out and landed on the carpeted floor. Trisha quickly reclaimed the mule with her toes and deposited the useless bag in the trash before returning to her car.
(back to flashback) ----------------------
Trisha sat in the Comedy House audience and tried to enjoy the show. Actually, knowing her shoe would reappear gave her something to be pleasantly anxious about. She continued to move her bare foot into various positions in a vain attempt to ignore her plight. Funnybone was demonstrating his dubious juggling skills and as he began to stop and catch all of the items he was juggling, Trisha's shoe appeared. The audience roared and Funnybone came up into the audience to return Trisha's shoe. As instructed, she did not put it on. A further investigation revealed that the heel was slightly cracked and wearing it before having it repaired might cause the heel to snap completely off.
After the show, the foursome returned to Joanna's car. Trisha carried both shoes in her hand and walked barefoot the rest of the night. Any observer might have assumed her feet were sore or something like that, instead of the amusing truth.
(real time) ----------------------
Trisha drove the rest of the way to work and hurried to the elevator while keeping her mules from flying off. She arrived on the fifth floor a few minutes late, but no one seemed to notice. Trisha continued her way to her desk where Joanna said hello and acknowledged that Trisha had her broken shoe back from the shop. Trisha, embarrassed that Joanna seemed to remember her shoe repair quicker than she had, conveniently left out...the rest of the story.
NOTE from Kinja: This story was an experiment in the use of dual timelines. I hope you enjoyed this different writing style.