Nigel Molesworth.

I now quote from the immortal Molesworth, that famous poem:

Sir the Burial Sir of Sir John Moore Sir at Corunna Sir
(A titter from 2B they are wet and I will tuough them up after.)
Notadrumwasheardnotafuneralnote shut up peason larffing
As his corse
As his corse what is a corse sir? gosh is it?
to the rampart we carried (whisper you did not kno your voice was so lovely)
Not a soldier discharged his farewell shot. PING! Shut up peason i know sir he's blowing peas at me
Oer the grave where our hero we buried. (A pause a grave bow i retire and Egad! peason hav placed a dainty pin upon mine seat. Fie!)

This is of course from How to be Topp, by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle.
I have had a lot of queries about this since it went on here, and all I can say is: I have the books in a collected volume, The Complete Molesworth, with introduction by Tim Rice. They have now been reissued in a paperback volume by Penguin as part of the Modern Classics series. Try www.amazon.co.uk or similar.

More nigel in here as I get to it... tum te tum

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