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Official Upstate NY Temperature Conversion Chart 60 above New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat. People in Upstate NY plant gardens. 50 above Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Upstate NY sunbathe. 40 above Italian and English cars won't start. People in Upstate NY drive with the windows down. 32 above Distilled water freezes. Onondaga Lake's water gets thicker. 20 above Flordians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wooly hats. People in Upstate NY throw on a flannel shirt. 15 above Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Upstate NY have their last cook-out before it gets cold. 0 People in Miami all die. Upstaters lick the flagpole. 20 below Californians fly to Mexico. People in Upstate NY get out their winter coats. 40 below Hollywood disintegrate. The Girl Scouts in Upstate NY are selling cookies door to door. 60 below Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic. Upstate Boy Scout Troop 8 postpones "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. 80 below Mt. St. Helen's freeze. People in Upstate NY rent some videos. 100 below Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Upstaters get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg. 297 below Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Upstate NY complain about farmers with cold hands. 460 below ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Upstate NY start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 500 below Hell freeze over. The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl. |
| Fox's Weather Forecast |