| Title: Home Author: Ana Disclaimer: If I owned Buffy and Angel they would be where they deserve.... in each other's arms. They're Joss's, Fury's, etc. Rating: PG-13, a little angst but nothing the show hasn't put us through. Spoilers: Yoko Factor Timeline: The Yoko Factor, season 3 on BtVS. Couplings: B/A Brief summary: What if Angel hadn't walked away? What if our Buffy had intervened? Feedback: Please send it to BAalways@msn.com Author's note: /denotes thoughts/. The story is told from Buffy's POV. Angel: Oh, and . . . Riley. Buffy: Yeah? Angel: I don't like him. He smirks at me as if everything's fine. /But I can't breathe! Can't you see? / My mind is in a haze. He turns his back at me. He's leaving. Again. /Goodbye? / I take a step towards him, unconsciously, not feeling, not thinking, merely driven by the fear of watching him go, and he slowly stops. His shoulders tense before he forces himself to relax, his face a little confused, apprehensive and anxious turns to me. /Angelangelangelangel/ Another step and he hasn't moved a muscle, his eyes are frantically trying to read me. When I come to a full stop he stands a few centimetres from my body. /So close. Close. Angel...Can't, oh please.../ It's waking up from /perfect happiness/ sweet dreams /Don't go. Please!!!/ nightmares and wanting to die every /long fucking/ minute from there. /Strong...tasty...Angel.../ It's not standing to look at your /cradle robbing, creature-of-the-night/ boyfriend's blue /brown/ eyes. I'm slay-girl, Giles. No don't worry with Buffy. She's strong. She can take everything life throws at her. She doesn't react like others /Strong? Like crying while brushing your teeth because of Angel-tooth-paste-flavour? / She doesn't suffer. Will, I'm great. Riley's great, Yeah, you were right. Always right. Ang.../Don't! Shut up! Don't say it. Don't say his name. Please. Please. /Angela that girl from... See Xand, not crying Buff. Deadboy's jokes. You haven't said one of those in a long time. Since.../Don't go there...Shut it out! / Laughing, /Crying/ happy Buffy. School's great, Mom. I know you love Riley. I.../liar/ really like him too. /Always HIS goddamn girl/ It's living /I can't breathe, Will/ without Angel and I can't take it anymore. I look in the mirror and see the same old Buffy but it can't be her because he's part of her and he's gone. So who am I? /Do you know me? / It hurts too much /Hell/ and I know I'm gonna die soon because a human soul isn't suppose to bear so much pain. I loved to play with his hair while we kissed /he smiled when I told him I found it sexy/ . Spike-y, tangled, Angel-y hair. When I finally find the nerve to look into his eyes I know. I'm lost. /It's something ancient, feeling his soul. Recognising part of mine./ All those well hidden secrets, open wounds, crying nights, heart-breaking words start to stir. No matter how hard I try I can't suppress those emotions anymore /It's too much.../ because this is Angel and when I'm being Buffy, the Buffy he loves /Still? Promise? / all I want to do is lay my /torn/ heart before him so he can heal it. His eyes slowly begin to water and I remember that Angel doesn't cry unless he's opening up. He raises his hand and traces my face, wiping a tear, I didn't even realize, fell. "Buffy" he utters my name as if it was sacred to him, a precious word that can't be tainted. Closing my eyes I let his touch, his voice, this comforting feeling of being truly, utterly loved wash over me. /I missed you. Oh God, I missed you so much. / With one last breath I inhale his unique scent, once again /last time/ giving my heart to this man. When my soul is totally bared to his gaze I allow myself the joy of being able to say his name with everything it represents. /Love...passion...comfort...Angel...soulmate...mine...love...so much love...ANGEEEELLLLL/ "Angel," I half whisper, half sob and in less than a second he crushes me strongly /gently/ to his chest, a hand tangled in my hair and the other holding my waist. We're both crying, enjoying the rightfulness of being one again. And as he kisses me, urgently and infinitely gentle like only he can be, I feel my soul, for the first time since I can remember /Angel's arms/ sighing with a long forgotten peace. /Home/ she tells me, and through me mist of tears, love and pain I smile because she's right. And I reassure her, I'm never leaving it again. The End. |