| Title: She Didn't By: VanessaSky Disclaimer: Joss Whedon lucky bastard Distribution: my site, anybody else want, take, let me know you have Paring: b/a Rating: r (mentions suicide) Summary: She didn't a lot of things. AN: My muse took an extended vacation to mars. She just recently decided to come back. Here is what she brought with her. Hope you like, very angsty, but isn't almost everything I write. *G Lyrics: Shania Twain It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing lyrics Dedication: Tygerlily for pointing me in the write direction. *smiles Feedback: This is NOT the ZOO people, PLEASE FEED the AUTHOR!! (BlakAngl17@aol.com) ------------------------------------------------------------------ Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone She didn't think about him that much anymore. She wasn't worried that he was hurt or dead. She didn't think about his living his un-life without her. She wasn't concerned that he had found somebody new. Or that maybe he was miserable without her. She just didn't think about him. It made living easier. Sometimes. I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on It's not so bad--I'm not that sad She didn't think, in the quite of the room, that she lied to herself too much. That every word, glance, touch, and breath that came out of her was fake. She tried not to think about how the light she used to see in her eyes, when she looked in the mirror, had been out since he walked though a cloud of smoke. Walking away from her. Out of her life. Away from her arms, and her love. I'm not surprised just how well I survived I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive I can't complain--I'm free again She didn't look at the bright side of her life without him. She didn't listen to her friends when they told her it was for the best. She didn't even question it when they told her to find somebody new. He was gone. In their eyes she was free. Free from what? The power he had over her heart? The happiness a tender hug from him gave her? The power from his words that made her think she could save them all? Oh yeah...she was free all right. And it only hurts when I'm breathing My heart only breaks when it's beating My dreams only die when I'm dreaming So, I hold my breath--to forget She didn't walk to the mansion every night, and sleep in his bed. She didn't cry on it either. She made no move to question her new life. The sleepless nights. Dreams. Like she said before she didn't think about him anymore. Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night There's no need to worry, I'm really all right I've never looked back--as a matter of fact She didn't dream about him at night. Though out the day she didn't let her mind wander. Let her memories remind her of him. She didn't wear a cross necklace around her neck. She didn't clean the mansion one day and find a ring with a heart, a crown, and two hands. She didn't put it on her ring finger either. She didn't notice the questioning glances she received from her friends and family. It only hurts when I breathe She didn't think about her life when it kept going without him in it. She didn't consider the fact that she was killing herself more each day that passed. She didn't notice when days bled together, and the memories began to fade away. She didn't feel the pain in her arms. She didn't notice the blood. Hurts when I'm breathing Breaks when it's beating Die when I'm dreaming It only hurts when I breathe She didn't forget their first kiss. First time to make love. Didn't forget their time together no matter how short it was. She didn't feel the blade slip from her fingers into the water surrounding her. Didn't feel the cold she was sure was coming. She didn't hear him call her name either. Feel him pull her out of the water and beg her to come back. She didn't a lot of things... End + Back to the Archive + |