Film stars made it in there; all sorts of musicians; TV personalities who's names we couldn't quite remember; obscure comediens. Laterly, the queing system has become a little imbalanced due to the inclusion of most of the population of Latvia, and has gained it's very own coffee vendor (a guy I saw outside Starbucks with a large urn of coffee strapped to his back, doling out free samples and being cheerful despite the cold and his unconventional back-pack - not unattainable, I know, but endearing).
So here it is - the queue. Sharon doesn't know I've posted this bit yet but I reckon we're both sufficiently immune to embarassment in the virtual world of syberspace. It'll be subdevided into various sub-queues, on the grounds that some people merely require hugs whereas some are in need of serious attention. We will add all the names as we remember them. They're not in any particular order or anything, it's a case of 'take a ticket and wait your turn'.
Any one of the following are 'golden tickets':
1) Can you play an acoustic guitar?
2) Do you have a Welsh accent?
3) Are you Latvian?
4) Have you ever made a record using any random under-used percussion instrument (eg fish that goes zzzip)?
5) Have you demonstrated complete and utter cluelessness in the face of adversity?
6) Have you ever hitch-hiked with a fridge?
7) Do you have floppy hair?
8) Are you Roddy Frame, Bernard Butler or John Cusack?
For everyone else, don't panic, any combination of minor talents in the above categories that could prompt an 'aww bless!' will be considered for queue status. That said, let the lists begin......
A rare moment of sincerity:
This is for everyone. Especially those directly affected in the events of last week.
C: Not the world famous skateboarding champion. I accidently bought the book 'Round Ireland with a Fridge' in a last minute 'need to find something to read on the train' -frenzy. It was purchased solely on the grounds of the title as I didn't have time to look inside or anything sensible like that. Also check out 'Playing the Moldovans at Tennis' - it's equally odd.
S: Ickle Welsh bloke from that programme with Jack Davenport in it (and Jack Davenport for that matter, he has floppy hair) because he's ickle and Welsh.
C: The show was called Coupling. Can't establish at this stage wether Mr Coyle is definately Welsh but we've decided he's WBA - Welsh By Association.
S: His mother used to dress him as abstract concepts for Hallowe'en.
C: Bless
He was Hawkeye for crying out loud. He doesn't need another reason
S: Do we need a reason?
C: Perhaps we're developing a new obsession (like we need more obsessions) with travelling comediens?)
S: He was a Bay City Rollers fan.
C: A good reason for giving a bloke a hug if ever there was one.
S: Because they regularly break our hearts.
C: And their own limbs/facial features
C: You can say that again. A cinema full of serious horror fans waiting in confusion to be scared witless and Sharon and I sliding slowly under our seats with laughter. Camp is the new black.
S: For all his films, but especially High Fidelity, words fail me.
S: for portraying the mythical perfect man in Sliding Doors and almost causing Sharon and Caroline to be thrown out of the cinema for repressed aww blessing.
S: He was Han Solo AND Indiana Jones for heaven's sake.
S: Because he's so ickle and cute and funny
C: You can tell there's really well-thought-out reasoning behind our selections, can't you?
S: Hmmmm...
S: For managing to make a death scene last an entire film.
All of Gorky's for being just adorable.
Ickle blonde haired guy from Feeder (Grant Nicholas). Wee lad. In fact, all of Feeder, they all want to be in The Clash! Hurrah!!
Little Huw who reads the BBC news. Bless.
Patrick Jones. Beginning to worry that these people might be offended that we find them so endearing when they are trying to be so anarchic...but he's so, well, Welsh, you just want to hug him. Wee lad.
S: 'With water you can make tea, with water you can make coffee, and when you're drinking a bottle of red wine, it's mostly water'. Awwwww!!!
S: Morten appears to have found the fountain of eternal youth previously reserved for Scottish 80s singers and David Bowie.
S: Hot off the press. These guys are adorable, and couldn't look less like pop stars. Wee lads.
S: What is it with Scandanavian bands and strange names??
*apart from Sharon
S: BERNIE!!!!
S: That's James Dean Bradfield and an acoustic guitar to be precise.
S: he can tune his own guitar!!
C: People are constantly giving the guy a hard time. I mean really. Please focus your anamosity towards people that deserve it (like Mick Hucknell, to name but one).
S: BLESS!!
C: I know what you're thinking. Why not just include the entire Yorke family and their cat (if they have one)? I think this a question for our resident geneticist. Do endearing qualities run in families Sharon?
S: I think what we have 2 factors here: 1) cats are by definition an endearing species and 2) what runs in the family of those nice Yorke boys is what I like to call the 'tortured soul' gene, an unfortunate side effect of which is to prompt girls who are old enough to know better to desperately want to give them a hug.
S: the floppy haired guitarist one.
S: for having a duct tape trauma!
S: For laughing at Sharon during a terminally starstruck moment.
C: And for being consistantly nice to his fans.
(Lead singers that don't have the benefit of guitars to hide behind)
S: He's one vowel away from being a womble! And his docs were on display in Covent Garden! Respect!!
Jeremy - for writing songs rather well and for haviung endearing traumas
The coffee vending bloke - the queue needs caffeine
Wee Hamilton Accies fan at the Manics gig. Bless.
Bloke at the Gorky's gig who instigated a ludicrous synchronised dance routine. We salute you!
A blanket queue status to all blokes at gigs who have in some way protected the girls from dangerous moshers, offered them shoulder lifts or made witty comments. It wouldn't be the same without you all.
Update: they got even worse!! Oh no!! Fran what are you doing??????