One of England's most revered sporting traditions -- the annual Cooper's Hill Cheese Race -- is scheduled to go ahead on May 27 in picturesque Gloucestershire [pronounced Glusshur]. In the wake of September 11th, with heightened concerns about security in all Western nations, there had been talk of cancelling the event this year. However, said race spokesperson Nigel Haimingford-Rayanderwoughingdroningstand [pronounced Hamfunstun], "If we cancel the race, the terrorists will have won." So the cheese will roll as usual.

The Cooper's Hill race is the largest of England's many rural cheese-rolling competitions. The event dates back thousands, or hundreds, or possibly dozens of years, depending on which web site you believe. Long a staple of American "Wacky World of Obscure Sports" programs, the race involves a 7-pound (or 25-pound) Double Gloucester cheese which is sent rolling down a steep (45, 60 or 90-degree) hill, with several dozen (or hundred) drunken English lager louts in hot pursuit.

Invariably the lads lose their footing and start falling, bouncing and cartwheeling down the slope, to the great enjoyment of the worldwide sporting public. The idea is that whoever catches the cheese gets to keep it, although usually, someone lands on top of it and converts it into cheez spread. Every year, precisely 18 people are seriously injured.

Never mind the FA Cup or Wimbledon [pronounced mumblemumble]. THIS is a sporting spectacle worthy of the name "spectacle." Get your tickets early. Be sure to be drunk on arrival.