Question:  How can we stop crime by noon tomorrow?
 

* Make all negative interactions amenable to civil suit only.  Torts aren't crimes are they?  Hummm!

* Blow up the DMV!  I think it's the root of all crime.

* Make Professor Stiglitz our Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and no one will commit crimes because Stiglitz will put the fear of God in them.

* Make drugs and prostitution legal as of noon today, and that will eliminate 50% of crimes by noon tomorrow.

* Require the criminal's family to pay the prison expense (food, clothing, etc.), possibly from parent's social security income, in hopes of fostering more responsible parents.

* Define crime as an act by one who denies the act but is found guilty, then provide immunity for those who confess.

* Create the defense of desire.  Defendants' desire to do an act is always a defense.  This would eliminate crime, because the defense could always be used.

* In the Bible, 2 Peter 3:8 tells us that one day is a thousand years to the Lord and vice versa.  Technically, if we have a day, we have 1,000 years to figure out how to stop crime.
 

* Every morning when people wake up, have them set their clocks back 12 hours so noon tomorrow would never come.

*  It has been philosophized that by giving up one's possessions (physical and material) you can escape all entrapments of this world; thus, crime would also lose all meaning.

* Hold every family member (including by marriage) liable for the crimes committed by a single person.  If one commits murder, all will face the penalty.

* Have Congress pas a law today that limits time to the a.m. so there can never be a noon tomorrow.  It would be easier to stop time than to stop crime.

* Provide EVERYONE with the necessities of life; food, shelter, equal protections and rights and education.

* Outlaw homes and apartments that do not have front porches (so families can sit in rocking chairs and get to know their neighbors).

* Stop time at 11:59.

* Place each and every living human being in an individual jail cell, which is rigged to automatically open at 1pm tomorrow.

* Get Santa Claus' list, find out who's naughty and who is nice, and kill everyone that is naughty.

* Give every individual a drug that induces amnesia, and allow ignorance as a defense to the law.

* Eye-for-an-eye-justice:  the death penalty doesn't deter because it's too distant and too sanitary; make punishments fit crimes by killing people the way they killed.

* Have a psychic talk to God and ask her to make the world over again and create more intelligent, compassionate people this time around.
 

* Abolish all laws- close all law schools and close all police departments.  Just as there is no property without government, there is no crime if there is no law.

* Give everyone free and unlimited digital cable, Napster, and cold Coors Light.

* When employment is up, crime is down.  Eradicate unemployment by maintaining economic prosperity, incentives, and opportunity for all classes of people.

* Bring a massive army of beautiful Russian male and female prostitutes to the U.S. tonight and keep the population satisfied, "if you know what I'm talking about."

* We obtain worldwide agreement to televise the public execution of every criminal.

* The whole world prays for and the second-coming actually occurs.

* We lose in Independence Day II, The Return... and/or Mars Attacks Again.

* We eliminate currency, the concept of wealth, provide outlets and free medical counseling for hatred, legalize victimless crimes, curb technology and farm the land.

* Use criminals as fishing bait, i.e., chop them up into little pieces.  Then we would not have to waste smaller fish as bait.

*  Erase the need to be someone you're not.  Some people commit crimes to live up to the image the want to project.   [Who am I, really...?]

* Raise the age of mental capacity to 201 years old.  So every person charged under the age of 201 can use the Mentally Incompetent-Insanity Defense.

* Ensure that everyone will wake up to an already made breakfast of his/her choice.
 

* Give every citizen a mandatory injection of estrogen.

* Have as a punishment for all crimes the need to execute your most loved one on live national television.

* Make everyone submit a list of his or her 5 favorite possessions.  Crimes are punished by taking these things away, depending on severity.

* Require every person to spend 1 month in prison, so they will never want to go back.

* We already have; "noon tomorrow" will always be tomorrow.  Crime only happens on a "today".

* We can make Dean Cox President.  She'll have an original idea.

* Make each person on earth hopelessly unhappy so nothing can be gained by crime.

* I am God.  I decide to rid humanity of free will in five minutes to render everyone an automaton in a giant personality-free zone where people will only farm and eat.

* You are God.  You decide to eliminate self-knowledge because knowledge is what led to the entire mess.  Everyone goes back to an infantile state of perfection.

* God is the first cause of the universe and is inherently good.  All action in the universe derives from God; is good.  Crime is an emotive term describing certain actions people don't like.  "Crime" is a misunderstanding of the nature of the universe.  There never was any crime to end.

* Lobotomize the entire population so that no one could form a mens rea; some die in the hasty procedure, but so be it and then eliminate SLOFs.  It's for the greater good.

* Take out the C in "Crime" and start referring to antisocial acts as "Rime".
 

* An option is to eliminate history.  If society has no past then the foundation on which crimes can be judged or established is gone (a new beginning comes into being).
 
 
 
 

Question:  How do we ensure that lawyers act only ethically?
 

* Impose the death penalty for serious ethical violations that cause substantial harm to society; to be used primarily as a scare tactic.

* Require lawyers making over 10 times the median income for the area in which they live to donate that amount to charity in either time or money.

* Unethical lawyers must do the "Zulu Warrior Dance", a tradition of my Univ. of WA Rugby team involving nakedness and beer spitting...very embarrassing.

* Require attorneys to purchase "ethics" insurance with high rates for those found to have violated the rules, and discounts for those who are determined to have high ethical standards.

* If found to be unethical, use the lawyers name in a lawyer joke and send it over the Internet.

* If a lawyer is deemed to be unethical make that lawyer drive a broken down yellow pinto as punishment.

* As punishment put the names and photographs of unethical lawyers on the front page of the local newspaper.

* Create an ethics board comprised of other attorneys that would randomly audit attorneys.  Similar to a tax audit, only here they would be reviewing the attorney's ethical behavior.
 

* Penalize all colleagues within a firm for the unethical behavior of one attorney in that firm.

* Before billing a client, require that documentation of attorney billing be submitted to the court for approval.

* Offer rich law firms huge tax breaks if they have their seasoned attorneys provide pro bono work of the seasoned attorney's choice, with the ethics committee's approval.

* Have appointed secret legal ethics police force go randomly across the nation to hire lawyers who might practice unethically, after filtering them out, book'em Danno!

* Have a federally funded place for lawyers to work temporarily, if they were fired for being unethical.  Then provide tax breaks to law firms that hire these lawyers.

* Hand select potential lawyers prior to birth, based on their genetic predisposition for ethical behavior.  Candidates shall be closely monitored throughout life, to ensure continued ethics.

* The American Bar Association will require that lawyers visit a psychologist, therapist or counselor on a bi-monthly basis, to talk out their problems and help them deal with their life stress.

* Only allow attorneys to analyze the relevant issues not the facts, thereby reducing the assertion of ethics.

* Make lawyers after passing the bar, spend one week in jail to see how it feels.

* Make punishment for bad ethics be public apology on T.V.

* Require all lawyers to be paid by the government to remove the incentive for unethical behavior for profit.
 

* Require clients to complete post-lawsuit questionnaires to assess the quality of their lawyer's work. [and post these publicly.]

* Establish who a society's lawyers will be at a very young age and school these people in the ways of philosophical ethics- i.e., Kant, Mill, etc.

* In training lawyers, do not base class grades on one, very time-constrained 3-hour exam: this encourages a 'win at all costs', individualistic mentality.

* Like Supreme Court judges, we should guarantee lifetime employment for lawyers, so they can focus on justice and not on maintaining their jobs.

* Courts or government should pay lawyers a bonus if they gain a victory for the public good, as opposed to merely catering to their client's interest.
 

Question:  How can we ensure police arrest only the guilty?
 

* Do away with the mens rea for all crimes, therefore making all crimes like "SLOFS" (strict-liability offenses) so the act regardless of intent is a crime, therefore arrestable.

* The police should provide a defense attorney who looks over the evidence prior to arrest, therefore acknowledging the evidence is sufficient to convict.

* Eliminate the "not-guilty" plea and require all who are arrested to admit guilt and then place judgment and sentencing on a sliding scale depending on the evidence.

* What the police do is help us cross the street...and protect mom from dad...and make sure they bring Frank back when he runs away.  [2nd Grader's Response]

* Mandate that the police arrest everyone (generic charge) by their 30th birthday, because everyone is guilty of something by the time they are out of their 20's.
 

* Eliminate the need for a charge on a defendant's indictment.  Just arrest someone and hold him until he confesses to something.

* Take the presumption of innocence to a new extreme by forcing the arresting officer to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that a suspect is guilty before arrest.

* Only arrest people that are deemed guilty by national election.  Use the Electoral College unless it conflicts with the popular vote.  Then have a hand recount.

* Don't arrest people at all.  Start with everyone in jail and only let the innocent out.

* Entrapment is dead!!  Police officers must be an active participant in the crime or part of the conspiracy or an accessory after the fact.

* Implant chips into every police officer's body so that judges and prosecutors can ensure that there was no mistake or fraud during the process of the arrest.

* Make it a crime to allow yourself to be arrested if you are not guilty.  That way everyone will be guilty of a crime if arrested, whether it be for the original offense or not.

* Have judges find everyone guilty who comes before them.

* The person arrested is not known to be "guilty" at the arrest.  He is judged "guilty" later at a trial.  Leave the judging to the police and all perpetrators would be "guilty".

* Divide people in half, each person has a shadow [who rats on the other half].

* Find the gene(s) for honesty and breed all humans to carry it.  People would not act dishonestly (a.k.a. criminally) and, even if they did, they would confess their transgressions if asked.
 

Question:  How can we ensure courts always do justice?
 

* Have more than one judge presiding over the more serious of cases.
 
 

Question:  How can we ensure prisons create model citizens?
 

* The state correctional institutions could provide an incentive to employers by paying 50% of the former inmate's wages for a minimal probation period to establish their credibility.

* Televise comedy concerts every Friday night to promote laughter and give prisoners something to look forward to.

* Most people are willing to pay the price for what they do but are unwilling to subject their loved ones to hardship - have a family member serve the sentence with them.

* Make life in prison that of a simulated society, where groups live well one day, and others live miserably; must be a good citizen to increase in status.

* For those that don't want change, put them in a separate prison so they don't hinder the efforts of those that do want to change.

* Time Management Programs- requires all prisoners, providing a conditional exemption to those serving life-terms, to allot and account for activities within each day of incarceration.

* Hobby Hour- prisoners allotted an hour out of the day to make use of a constructive hobby, which may be enticing upon entrance into the "real" world.
 

* Make every sentence a life sentence and the only way people can be let out before death is if they can act as a model citizen.

* While in prison, make sure that the prisoners lose a body part.  Every time they are out of prison, they will notice their missing body part and remember not to act out again.

* Require prisoners to record nightly journals to encourage inner reflection and maybe even encourage unknown literary skills.

* Radical approach...abolish the death penalty and instead use the death row inmates in animal testing...might work as a general deterrent!

* Make inmates build a parking garage for Cal Western to keep them busy yet productive.

* Get inmates addicted to a drug while in prison.  After release, can go to the police to "purchase" drugs with their "good behavior". [or get a month's supply by "bad behavior" e.g., robbery, dealing?]

* Clone the inmates while in prison.  Train the clone to behave morally and kill the real inmate.