Top 20 Reasons Dogs don't Use Computers:

20.  Can't stick their heads out of Windows ME.

19.  Fetch command not available on all platforms.

18.  Hard to read the monitor with their head cocked to one side.

17.  Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit.

16.  Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."

15.  Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

14.  Involuntary tail-wagging is dead givaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com        instead of working.

13.  Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.

12.  Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.

11.  Still trying to come up with an "e-motion" that signifies tail-wagging.

10.  Oh but they WILL, with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.

9.   Three words:  Carpal Paw Syndrome.

8.   'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!!  Now, cats, on the other hand.

7.   Barking in the next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition             software.

6.   SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

5.   SIT and STAY were hard enough, but GREP and AWK are ou of the       question!

4.   Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

3.   Annoyed by lack of news groups, alt.pictures, master's leg.

2.   Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

and the #1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers:

1.   TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo tgYpmE WeljTyH P:AzWqS,.*

(*1.  Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws.)

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