"The nose of the Bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go."
-Winston Churchill
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night
wondering if there really is a Dog?"
-Unknown
"The dog was created especially for children.  He is the god of frolic."
-Henry Ward Beecher
"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."
-Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
-Henry Wheeler Shaw
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-Rita Rudner
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should
go home and examine your conscience."
-Woodrow Wilson
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his
water bowl."
-Penny Ward Moser
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99
cents a can.  That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-Joe Weinstein
"Whoever said "let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs."
-Unknown
"No man can be condemned for owning a dog.  As long as he has a dog, he has a friend;
and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has."
-Will Rogers
"Three things it is best to avoid:  a strange dog, a flood, and a man
who thinks he is wise."
-Welsh Proverb
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-Ben Williams
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend: and inside a dog, it's too
dark to read."
-Groucho Marx
"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him
  and not only will he not scold you, but he will make  a fool of himself too."
-Samuel Butler
"Heaven goes by favour.  If it went by merit, you would stay out and
your dog would go in."
-Mark Twain
"Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
  But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window."
-Steve Bluestone
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