Everyone behaved this week.  So I'm going to dedicate this week's IotW to the little annoying things that only bother you a little bit.  Like the salt and pepper of idiocy, these are things you'll find sprinkled around The Nick but only annoy The Nick a little bit.

   First, let me explain where I get my IotW material from.  Usually, someone at work deserves the award.  So I go back and check everything on my NaN pages.  Ah, the memories.

   Also, if anything has left a mark on The Nick, there might be IotW material there, too.  Oh, 'left a mark' can be either mentally or physically.  Not many people make The Nick insane, but if there actual, physical marks on me, that's usually a good sign of idiocy.  The 9 year old kid is just one example.

   HOWEVER, there was ONE idiot this week.  "The Unnamed Customer."  She's described down below.   The rest of the page is dedicated to the little idiots.
 

   So, examples of salt-and-pepper-idiocy this week.

   The Nick.  He did a lot of idiot things.  I'm sure everyone heard about how I strangled myself on my car's seatbelt.  Here's how.

   When the door opens, the seatbelt slides from its usual position over the driver's lefthand shoulder all the way to a position roughly parallel to the driver's left elbow but set back a few inches to the left.  By opening the door, the belt will slide so that the belt no longer constricts the driver but instead allows easy entry and exit from the vehicle.  Excellent work, Saturn.

   However, when I opened the door, I didn't actually want to leave the vehicle right away.  I bent over to pull the gas release.  As you may know, most vehicles have a pair of latches that open the trunk and the gas cover.  I was at a gas station.  I wanted to fill my tank.  So, I opened the door and bent over to pull the gas.  I struggled to find it for a moment but eventually pulled it.

   That's when it happened.  The seatbelt efficiently and totally wrapped my neck.  I couldn't pull myself free.  I tried to, but I only hit my head on the doorframe, dislodging the 'thing' that keeps water from leaking in.  I'm struggling but I can't get free and there's no way to get either of my hands up to a position to manually disengage the lock.  E.J. and Leetch are laughing at me, by the way, offering no help whatsoever.

   I have a moment of genius where I think to close and open the door to get the seatbelt back up.  So, I pull it shut and open it (slamming my head in the process).  The belt only goes halfway back, allowing me just enough space to sit up before again wrapping around my head.  It's hard to describe how I was now stuck with my right hand around my car wheel trying to pull the belt, but that's where I was.  I closed the door and left it closed, waiting for the belt to totally and completely return to its upright position.

   I then sat up, opened the door, and left as calmly as a man who had strangled himself and been laughed at could leave his car.  The real idiots are Leetch and E.J. for laughing at The Nick in his moment of need and not helping him rather than The Nick.  However, I think that we have a carfull of idiots.  Good job, guys.

 
   Speaking of 'The Nick', it appears Sunshine hates that name.  Check out Monday's NaN.  She thinks that the name "The Nick" is indicative of delusions of grandeur and "stuck-up'edness".  It bothers her, irrationally and completely.  IotW!  More importantly, her new name is no longer 'Sunshine', but "The Sunshine".

   One more thing... what's with the crazy outbursts you throw at me every once in a while?  They used to be after some good-natured banter and tomfoolery.  Now, they're random.  It's almost become a game of "Guess when Sunshine yells at The Nick".  Maybe I'm missing something obvious here, but I'm not misbehaving...
 

   Kyle R.  You're a whiny guy sometimes.
 

   The Nick and James visited Johnny Rockets.  It's a restaurant at Christiana Mall.  In case you haven't heard, that's where long-time IotW Colleen has recently gotten a job.  Before I go any further, let me just point out that The Nick and James engaged in behavior suitable to be put on the purge list of G.W.H.E., let alone IotW.  Additionally, we've both done salt-and-pepper idiocy all this week, too.

   So we harassed Colleen.  I forget how many times I complained that my drink wasn't "Mr. Pibb-sy enough."  Or taking an abnormally long time to decide.  Or making fun of Colleen so much that one of her co-workers almost cried.  My personal favorite moment was when I asked Colleen to pour me out some ketchup into the shape of a frowning face, then complain about it.  I took the ketchup lid.  I also asked lots of questions.  Lots of questions.

   Ok, so I'm a nasty guy.  It could have been worse.  Had everyone shown up who said they could, it would have been worse.  I was willing to have a food fight.

   Anyway, the real idiot here is Colleen, who took over 40 minutes to get me a burger.  I want to say she did it intentionally to get me back for being 'less than kind' to her on her second day at her new job, but it pains me to say that's probably not the truth.  With my keen eyes, I noticed that she couldn't operate the computer, screwed up the receipt (apparently, 'lindsey c.' or some other girl rung my order up), and she couldn't print me up another receipt. She said she'd give me one later.  Furthermore, I heard 'Jonathon', some guy who looked like he knew what he was doing, muttering some bad things under his breath after he helped her with something.  'Jonathon' is invited to join the proud ranks of G.W.H.E., as I'm sure he's learning something that I have already learned.  Welcome to the club.

   In fact, there's a chance he might read this.  I took paper and a pen, wrote my website on it, and distributed pieces of paper with my webpage on it around the restaurant.  Colleen caught onto my plan and stopped me, but it was too late.  I can only guess whether other people have heard or not.  Probably not.  I'll have to try again, I'm afraid.
 

   Matt S., Colleen, and J-Bass all visited DQ on Tuesday.  I'm sure they had good reasons... but they're all IotW'fied for that.  Also, I closed with only Michelle in drive-thru... and I didn't coordinate!  The entity known as DQ is now an IotW.  More visitors on Wednesday, too.  Craziness.

   Dancakes is an IotW because of her name.  Dancakes.  It's cute but funny.  It also is making me hungry (I'm typing this up at breakfast time).

   Charlie.  He's requested that he not be made fun of on my page anymore.  I decided (after a long while) to comply.  But he kept annoying me.  Here's a message: when The Nick says stuff, it's funny.  Nobody's laughing when you throw fries at me or insinuate that my new car might experience a 'new paint job', suffer from 'slashed tires', or have a 'run-in with hot fudge'.  It's not funny at all.  In fact, now that people have heard you saying those things, should any of the aforementioned 'bad things' happen, you'll be a primary culprit!  In fact, people wanting to get back at Charlie just might destroy my car just to get back you you!  And who's the one who has to suffer?  That's right, The Nick.  So stop harassing my new car!!

   Now, The Customer.  At Johny Rockets, I was 'accused' by a fellow customer of being too loud.  I wasn't being that loud, to be honest, I was just sitting right next to this woman.  We made eye-contact, and I thought that she found The Nick to be hilarious.  Actually, that wasn't the case.  She said "You're being rather loud."  "Oh, ok," I said back.

   This bothers me.  Did she want me to quiet down?  She could have asked me to quiet down.  I mean, if I was truly being too loud, fine, ok, I'll quiet down, but could you bring it to my attention?  "You're being rather loud," is a declarative sentence.  It is not an interrogatatory sentence, not a command nor an exclamation.  I mean, if I'm throwing food, I do not need someone to tell me "You're throwing rather food," or if I'm beating up a little girl, I don't need someone to tell me "You're beating up a girl," with some annoyed expression in their face.

   I should have said something rude right back to her.  "You're being rather loud."   "Well, since we're picking out each other's faults, you're being rather ugly," is what I should have said.  Ah, another missed opportunity.
 

   Finally, every single member of Team Nick that went paintballing this Sunday deserves a  little something IotW, even if it's only for that incident where I said to move and you guys said "I can't... they're shooting at me."  Also, I get some credit for my incredible tumbling skills.  The relevant link is here at  the 10/21/01 Game Day link.  Have fun.
 

   This week's IotW's.... The Nick, The Nick's car, Leetch, E.J., The Sunshine, Kyle R., James, Colleen, The Unnamed Customer, random friends who did not meet me at Johny Rockets (cowards), Matt S., J-Bass, DQ, 'Dancakes', Charlie, and Dan, Jim, Paul, James, and The Nick, members of Team Nick who played this Sunday.  Congratulations to you all!