I'm never sure if there is a proper way to accept something like this.
I've always believed myself to be a relatively humble fic writer. Anyone who has ever beta-ed for me will tell you that I never like what I write, and that often times, they have to force me to keep writing. I'd sooner hand out praise for other writers than accept any kind of compliments on my own work...although; I'm pretty sure that's pretty commonplace for most of the writers at these boards.
When it comes to fics, for me personally, there isn't much development process. Often times, I simply plop down in front of my laptop, and just shut off everything, except the part of me that pretends to know how to write fics. Sometimes, I get lucky, and things like Somewhere I Belong and even End of the Dock come pouring out. Other times, it's complete and utter crap. I can't tell you how many things are pushed aside, and how many half-fics I have started on disks at home.
I like to let my fics write themselves. I don't force things, because I never feel right about what comes out during a self-imposed deadline. And while I often feel bad for not having anything new for weeks at a time, I know that when I do have something, I can be relatively proud of it.
As for Somewhere I Belong specifically, I can't tell you exactly where I got my inspiration for it. I know that it was another one of those midnight, can't sleep, gotta write kind of things. It's funny, because as I wrote each part, I found myself see-sawing on how I wanted the fic to end. Usually by the second or third part, I generally know where the fic is headed, and I can prepare my beta(s) for what's in the future.
Joey's evolution throughout the fic was modeled after my own decisions and paths that I took after ending a destructive relationship (also with someone name Matthew), and while I didn't intend for this fic to be any kind of closure for myself, it did help me realize that I was worth more than what I was giving myself.
I remember writing the last part, that last scene, and giving the fic the kind of hope that is often difficult to find in 'real life.' I like that when you all read my fics, so many of you say, "This is so unreal!" "I can't believe this is happening!" I like to give that dose of fantasy in a world that has become so literal. Fic has been my escape, and I like that I have a small contribution to help make it an escape for others.
As a writer, I can honestly say that after Somewhere I Belong was finished, I was going to complete Don't Happen Twice and that was going to be that. I wasn't going to write anymore. But as anyone who knows me knows, I've made that promise before, and couldn't stick to it. I have one series that I'm working on now, and eventually, there will be more. Don't count me out just yet. :D
As far as thank yous go, I'd first like to thank everyone that has ever replied, bumped, or lurked at one of my fics. It's because of you that I keep writing. I'm a reply whore, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. To all of you, whether you graced me with your kind words, or simply up-ed the view count on my fics, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
And now to the specifics...
First, and foremost, the moderators and admins at both PoTL and FS: Without these two wonderful places to post my work, I never would have had a chance to even be nominated for the TLAs. Thank you for hosting boards to allow so many of us to have a creative outlet.
Lina: My right arm. Sweetheart, without you, there would be no fics to bug Faithy for. You've reined me in when I've wanted to take even the simplest fic was out in to some unspoken realm. You've pulled me out when I was stuck, and you've been the friend I needed more than you could ever know. I love you, my Lina. Love, love, love. I've missed you so these past two months, and I'm so glad that you're gradually coming back. Thank you, Darling, for being a muse.
Hottie: You, Honey, are without a doubt, one of the most important people I've met. You've listened to my endless whining, and you've helped me out more than you can imagine. I'm so glad that I met you, and I'm so happy that things are looking up for you. Yay for the new house, and yay for things settling down. I love you, my Hottie. Love, love, love. I can't wait until you have more time. I've missed you so much. Thank you, D, for being a muse as well.
Angel: *giggles* You, sweet Lucifer, are one of a kind. I look forward to your replies, and even more so to your updates. You've been a friend, and a confidante. Thank you, Lucifer, for your steadfast presence, and your friendship. Love you, babe.
Rae: My ten ninja's in her singular whole.
What would I do without you? Even though you hardly ever step foot
near these boards anymore (unless you're leaving a covert message for me),
you're still my favorite. Favorite what, you ask? Favorite
everything! I love our random phone calls and text messages.
I love that I can tell you anything, and not feel as though I may be judged.
I love that you're you. The only thing I don't like about you, is
that you're all the way in Boston. That sucks royally. But
I do love you, my Rae. Always. And Forever.
And I guess that's about it. I feel incredibly honored to have won "Best Future Fic." I know everyone on every single award show always says that it's a thrill just to get nominated, and to be quite honest with you, now I know what they're talking about. To see my name with Bella (Caspian), D (Ragingfire), SomeDeepMystery, and DeepBlueSea was a thrill in and of itself. I've admired all of their work at one point or another, and to see that my work is compared with such excellent writers humbles me in a way I can't even begin to explain.
So thank you. For the nominations, the votes,
and the awards. I truly, truly appreciate it.
-Faith